I Can Feel You
by AmberDoodle87
Summary: What happens when Annalisa Benson leaves behind her home and family to move to Washington State with her best friend to attend college, and she falls in love with Jasper Hale? AH/OC
1. Chapter 1: Life is A Journey

Chapter 1: Life is A Journey, Might As Well Enjoy The Ride

Palmdale, California, population 147,897. Actually, after today it would be 147,895. Today starts the next big journey of my life. After two long years at the local community college, my best friend Jade and I have our car packed to the top with all the things we have deemed necessary for our road trip to our new life In Seattle, Washington. I skip down the front steps of my childhood home, my flip flops slapping happily against the pavement carrying my final bag, the one most important to me, within it lies all of my music, every c.d I own, and a few of my favorite reads.

"Annalisa Marie Benson," my mothers soft voice calls out, sounding as stern as she can muster. I roll my eyes dramatically before turning around to and smiling widely at her.

"Yes Mom," I say, walking to her slowly enjoying the slight, yet still warm breeze that blows over our valley.

"First of all don't you think that you should put something more on. And second, did you honestly think that I would let you leave here without saying goodbye?" she asks, tears threatening to fall from her big green eyes, the same eyes that stare me in the face every time I look in the mirror.

"Ugh mom, we are going to be in the car most of the day, and second of all I would never leave without saying good bye to you," I say, reassuring her easily by wrapping my arms around her and hugging tightly. We hold this hug, longer than I think either of us intend to. I can feel it starting. The tears welling in my eyes, and I blink furiously against them, when my best friend and road trip partner Jade, her shoulder length black hair blowing freely in the slight breeze, steps out of the house holding a blanket and smiling widely. I smile back letting go and stepping back from my mom's embrace.

"Aww, Mom, its going to be okay, you know I will take care of the girl" Jade says easily, walking over to wrap her arm over my moms shoulder.

"Uh oh, now I really should worry," my mother teases lightly, placing her arm around Jade's waist, squeezing her lightly.

" That was just mean," she says, sniffling playfully trying to muster the tears that came all too easily to me. I laugh half-heartedly digging through my bag in search of my camera.

" Hold on, don't move, one last picture before we hit the road," I say, finally finding it at the bottom of my bag. I walk over to the other side of my mom and wrap my arms around her to insure that all of us are in the picture. I snap the picture quickly and look at it happy at how it comes out.

" All right, well we better get going. Love you Momma B" Jade says, pressing a slight kiss to my moms cheek, and walking to the now fully packed and ready to explode Ford Explorer. She glances once over her shoulder to give me a look that says that she is giving me the moment that I need. I turn to look at my mother, and her brilliance. I smile shakily, and try to blow through the tears. I kick the step lightly, trying to find something to say.

"Well Baby-Doll, I guess that this is it huh? I love you. I am so proud of you for making this leap, you know how proud I am of you don't you? You're the first one in the family to go to college, and don't you worry about me. I will be fine here without you, and remember you can always come back here for anything," she says, grabbing me into a rough hug.

" Oh momma, I know. I love you too, and I miss you already. Remember your cell phone charger is on the desk right by the fridge, and you will probably have to get milk before the end of the week, and don't for-"I am stopped mid-sentence, when my mom firmly covers my mouth with her hands.

" I know honey, I can take care of myself, I'm the mom remember?" she asks, smiling brightly, tears already rolling down her face.

" Okay, your right. I love you, and I better go now, or else I will unpack that car, and stay here for the rest of my life. Bye mom, I will see you later," I call over my shoulder, putting on the best strong face I can muster. I climb into the car shutting the door behind me and strapping my seatbelt on.

" So, ready to go?" Jade asks, looking over at me reading my facial expressions easily.

" Yes," I reply simply, pulling my sunglasses from my head, I start the car and start t our newest and biggest journey so far.

" Jade, please, we have been driving around all of Portland for an hour trying to find this place, and I have to pee, so please, please, please, pull the damn car over so I can go," I say, bouncing in my seat, almost in perfect rhythm of the song playing on the stereo.

" Jesus woman, you have the bladder of an old lady. I swear I think I know where this place is, just give me five more minutes," she says, looking around, instinctively biting on her lip ring. I close my eyes, trying to go to my happy place and praying that we find this place quick.

"Eureka, I found it," she yells happily, causing me to jump nervously caught off guard by the sound. I look up at the hotel she wants us to stay in and look at her.

" Are you serious?" I ask, looking back at the hotel. And I use the term hotel loosely. Its run down at best.

" Come on Ana, it has a certain, charm to it," she says, looking at me pleadingly. I groan loudly.

" Fine, fine. I don't care where we stay as long as it has a bathroom," I say, dragging myself out of the car, grabbing my bag and shutting the door behind me. I walk quickly to the lobby where I find it empty, save for a completely empty vending machine that hums loudly.

"Hello," I call out, looking around. I turn around to stare at a tattered bulletin on the wall, when a voice from behind causes me to jump and let out a small yelp. I spin around quickly pressing a hand to my racing heart, and come face to face with the person behind the counter.

" Sorry didn't mean to scare you little lady," the older man stares at me, looking me up and down. I feel myself growing increasingly nervous before he clears his throat loudly waiting for me to say something.

" Oh erm, yeah I was just hoping you had a room open," I say, easing slowly up to the counter. I watch him sit down slowly in his chair.

" Sure do, little lady," he says, grabbing a paper from the counter. He slides it across the counter towards me, and I look at it. Seems easy enough. Name, car description, how many nights we will be staying. I fill it out quickly, and slide it back to him.

" That will be forty-five fifty," he says, chewing incessantly on his tooth pick. I reach in for my wallet and decide to pull out cash instead of my credit card. I slide the fifty across the counter.

"Keep the change," I say, grabbing the key quickly from his hand and walk back outside to tell Jade all about how much she owes me for making me stay here at this hotel.

" Come on Ana, it wasn't that bad," Jade says. She has been trying to get me to talk to her for the last hour. I shoot her a look before turning my head back to the road.

"Wasn't that bad my ass," I say, glaring at the road ahead of me. " The bed, ha, cant even call it a bed. Its was a bed of torture," I say, trying not to smile.

" I will give you that, the bed sucked," she says, putting her feet up against the dash board. Just like that the mood lightens in the car as we continue to drive down the I-5.


	2. Chapter 2: Thank God For PityCoffee

Chapter 2: Thank God For Pity-Coffee And Bulletin Boards

I wake up groggily to the sound of Jade calling my name.

" Ana, wake up we're here," she says, shaking me awake from my peaceful sleep. I blink my eyes open and look up into her hazel eyes.

"I don't wanna," I say sleepily trying to cuddle back into the pillow. I feel her grip the edge of the pillow and yank it from me. I whine loudly as I unbuckle my seat belt.

" Fine, fine I am awake," I say, stretching out the best that I can.

" Girl, you look a mess," she says, grabbing my bag for me from the car. I turn around quickly and look at my reflection in the window of the car. I groan loudly pulling my fingers through my hair quickly trying to fix it the best that I can, I finally give up and pull my waist length hair into a pony tale. I look around trying to figure out exactly where we are. That's when I see it. The University of Washington housing building. I was nervous, utterly and completely terrified. I have never been away from home for more than a month during the summer, and here I am standing in front of the building that would decide my fate for the rest of my college career.

" Well, I guess we could stand here in front of this building like idiots, or we can go in and get our dorm number," Jade says, linking her arm through mine. I roll my eyes at her, and smile.

" We came this far, might as well get this over with," I say, taking a step forward and reaching my hand out to the door handle.

An hour and a half later I felt like smashing my head against a brick wall. Jade and I have been sitting in this office for so long, waiting for someone to help us.

" I swear to all that is holy, if someone doesn't help us in the next two seconds, I'm going to scr-" Jade gets cut off in mid sentence, as our names are finally called. I sigh as I stand up and head to the desk. I try and muster up as happy as a smile as I can for the middle aged woman sitting behind the desk typing away on her computer. She looks up tiredly at Jade and me.

" Well girls, I am sorry to inform you that the dorm you were booked into is full. Over booked," she says, without an ounce of sympathy in her voice. I can feel the blood draining from my face.

" What do you mean that our dorm has been over booked?" Jade asks, gripping the counter top trying to contain her anger.

" I'm sorry ladies, but late registers such as yourself, are lucky to get a room and it seems that you were told you had a room a month ago, but failed to confirm it so your room was given away. The best we can tell you is to find an apartment close to campus," she says dismissively.

" Are you sure there isn't anything that can be done?" I ask, trying so hard not to lose my patience.

" Yes I am sure," she says, and with that one simple sentence it seems like everything we have worked so hard for is ruined. I walk slowly from the building, feeling like I am stuck in some bad episode of Punk'd.

" She was a bitch," Jade says easily, kicking the tire to our Explorer. I roll my eyes, trying so hard not to just break down and cry. I cant fight the feeling for long. I drop to the curb pulling my knees to my chest and I start silently sobbing. I hear Jade sigh heavily, before she sits next to me rubbing her hand up and down my back.

" Its okay Ana, we will figure something out," she says, trying to sound as upbeat as physically possible for her. I sniffle loudly looking up and around.

" Hey Jade," I say pitifully.

" Yes Ana," she says, looking around.

" I could really go for some pity-coffee right now," I say, smiling weakly as she laughs hysterically.

" You mean, we just found out, that as of right now, we are essentially homeless, in a state we know no one in, and you want pity-coffee?" she asks, laughing so hard, tears start rolling down her face.

" Yeah," I say, picking myself up from the curb. I stand and push myself on my tip toes looking around. At five foot three its hard for me to see over all the big cars surrounding me. I spot a small sign for Starbucks and my mood lifts slightly. I hold out my hand to Jade.

"Pity-coffee?" I ask, waiting for her to react. She sighs heavily, grabbing my hand firmly pulling herself up.

"Pity-coffee," she says easily, and we walk towards the coffee shop our own personal dark cloud following us.

I sit playing with the straw in my grande Java Chip frappucino trying to figure out what we are going to do. Jade and I have been sitting in this silence for almost two hours, thinking. Its never good when we get our heads together to think, some of the crazy ideas we can come up with. Our first ever crazy idea we cooked up together came shortly after we first met, junior year of high school, creative writing. When we decided that the boy sitting behind me was not only insanely cute but always smelled really good. Our idea to get near him, constantly drop our pens, pencils, papers, notebooks, basically whatever we had handy near him to smell him. Like I said, never a good idea when we put our heads together to get ideas. Jade's voice snaps me quickly out of my walk down memory lane.

" You know we can always find two girls we look a lot like, knock them out and mail them to Fiji and take their spots," Jade offers her idea, and I cant help but choke out a laugh.

" Oh yeah perfect idea there Jade," I say sarcasm dripping on every word.

" Hey, its better than any idea you have come up with so far," she says, sounding wounded.

" Yeah seeing as how I haven't come up with anything yet, I guess its better," I say, pushing my cup away from me. Silence settles again between us. I look around when I notice a bulletin board covered in fliers.

" Or, I can get up right now, walk to that bulletin board, and see if there is anyone looking for room mates," I say, getting up before Jade has the chance to comment on the slim chances that I will find anything. I bounce towards the bulletin board and start scouring through the papers. Live concert announcements, job placements, and just as I was about to give up hope a small square of paper peaks out at me. I move the other announcements out of the way to fully read it. I feel hope spread through me again as I realize how perfect this all sounds.

'In search of room mate. One room open, four other room mates. Pay your share of rent. Garbage, sewage, power free. Female/Male doesn't matter. Please Contact Rosalie at 206-555-1876.' I snatch the paper from the bulletin board and race back to my seat.

" I think I found something," I say, looking at Jade's skeptical face. She takes the paper from my hand, reads, and re-reads what is written.

" Well its better than nothing," she says, pulling her cell phone out of her purse. She dials the number easily. "Hello yeah, uhm, I was calling about a room mate position I found at a starbucks right by the University Housing office. Yes, well see, its me and my best friend. Yes two of us, uh huh, uh huh. Okay thanks," Jade taps furiously on the table signaling for a pen. I search furiously through my purse knowing that there is a pen in there somewhere. I finally get so frustrated I dump my purse over, scattering my contents all over the table and on the floor. I look around sheepishly as I hear a few people chuckle. I finally find the pen, having rolled all the way under the table behind Jade. I stand up quickly just as Jade clicks the phone off.

"Wait I have the pen," I say weakly, afraid that the person on the other end of the phone call got fed up with waiting. Jade smiles hugely as she twirls another pen lazily through his fingers.

"You might want to pick up your things, because we have a meeting in half an hour," she smiles slowly as I immediately drop down to pick up my scattered effects.

I sit nervously in the car looking at the house waiting before us. It was beautiful, only beautiful isn't the best term for it. It was captivating. A two story sprawling white house. It looks so out of place in the city, like a little piece of raw nature plucked up and placed in the middle of a bustling university city.

" Jade this is a bad idea. The worst idea I ever thought of. There is no way we could afford our share of the rent," I say, twirling my hair nervously around my fingers.

" Well we will never know if we don't try," she says, pushing out of the Explorer. I do the same, smoothing my clothes out. We walk slowly to the front door. And nervously, and in unison, take a deep breathe. I lift my hand to knock on the door, and before I can knock the door swings open, revealing, easily one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Her long blond locks fall past her shoulders and she offers a warm smile.

" You must be Jade and Ana," she says, extending her hand, " I'm Rosalie Hale. Please come in," she says, ushering us in and closing the door behind me. I was astounded by the outer beauty of the house, but inside the home was even more stunning. Eclectic pieces that should have clashed matched perfectly in the living room, where Rosalie led us to sit. I try to not look around and seem so amazed but I cant help myself. Jade elbows me roughly to get my attention.

" Oh I'm sorry, I was just, you have a beautiful home," I say, mentally smacking my self for sounding so, childish. She smiles widely, and that one small gesture immediately warms her blue eyes.

" Thank you. Now as I was saying, we do only have one room, but I think that it will be sufficient enough for both of you to share. The rent is 650 a month, but with there being two of you staying in one room, we wont charge you both that much. Each of you will be charged 325, and of course any food you want you buy. We have a bit of a system that might take some time to get used to, but I'm sure you guys will adjust," her melodic voice rings through the room, and I cant help but to feel somewhat inferior to her.

" Wait, the way you're talking, you make it sound like we can move in already," I accidentally blurt out. A smile once again crosses her face.

" Well of course, I will have to run this by the other people living here, but I am pretty certain that there will be no problems," she says, grabbing her phone from the table as it began to read. I look over at Jade, smiling nervously.

" Yes, Em, they look like nice girls. Yes they are cute. Em is that all you ever think about?" she asks, sounding mildly disgusted but the low ring of love in her voice was undeniable. " Oh so she already knows, what about Edward and Jazz?" she asks, her small smile growing even wider. " SO then I might as well tell them to start unpacking. Okay Em, and no I will not tell them that. You will be lucky if I don't make them so terrified of you that they lock themselves away in that room just to avoid you. Ha Ha, yes love you too, see you in a little while. Bye," with that she clicks the phone off easily and turns back to where Jade and I sit, exchanging questioning looks.

" Well, now that is all settled, how would you girls like to see where you will be staying?" she asks, getting up from her seat and walking up the stairs. We follow behind her at a safe distance.

"What do you think? This seems like it was a little to easy," I say in a hushed voice to Jade.

" Maybe it was too easy Ana, or perhaps we are just two of the luckiest girls in this world," she says, stopping suddenly when Rosalie stopped. Rosalie opens the door to the room, revealing the biggest room I think I have ever seen for a bedroom. It was empty, and blindingly white. I walk in looking around as if I am walking into some sort of dream. I cant help but laugh slightly.

" This is our room?" I ask, looking at Rosalie, as Jade immediately steps into the closet.

" This is it," she says, smiling as I continue to look around. Immediately my eyes are drawn to the window seat. I can picture myself sitting there on rainy days, reading some book, or strumming on my guitar. "Wow." That is all I can bring myself to say. Jade comes bubbling out of the closet a smile so wide that I laugh.

" We will so take it," she says, and I nod my head in agreement.

" Excellent. Well you two are more than welcome to start moving in. Edward and Jazz should be home soon and they will be the ones to go over the lease and everything with you. They have the mind for business I however have the mind for anything else but that," she says, moving towards the bedroom door.

"Wait is there anything else we should know, like just how mean is Emmett?" I ask sheepishly.

Her laughter catches me off guard as she clutches her sides.

" Oh, okay sorry. Listen, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to Emmett. He is as big and mean looking as a bear, but he has the heart of Winnie-the -Pooh. But the quickest way to get to him is to actually act scared of him, that will have him doing favors for you left and right," she says, wiping her face from where her laugh induced tears somewhat smudged her makeup. " Well I will leave you two to get settled, any questions come and ask me I will be in the living room." It silent when she walks out of the room, until Jade and I look at each other. Mirroring smiles form on our faces, as we proceed to grab each others hands and jump around like little school girls chanting out loud, 'We aren't homeless after all.'


	3. Chapter 3:Happy Panda Dancing And Tampon

Chapter 3: Happy Panda Dancing….And Tampons?

I walk steadily through the house carrying two of my boxes in my arms, trying to look around them and make sure I can safely find my way up the stairs. Being short sometimes has its downfalls. I count the steps in my head hoping I don't do something embarrassing like fall and break my neck before I have the chance to fully unpack. I make it safely to the top of the steps and try to adjust the boxes to make them easier to carry. Much to my dismay this didn't help, it only made things worse. Before I can catch it, the top box falls scattering random pieces of clothing and books all over the hall.

" Of course, shit," I step over the newly found clutter and walk into my new room.

" What was that all about?" Jade asks, peering out of the closet where she has been sitting for twenty minutes sorting clothes by color. I smile sheepishly.

" You know me, I dropped the damn box," I say, pushing one of the boxes to the corner. I smile as I hear her laugh.

" Of course you did," she says, rolling her eyes dramatically at me as I walk out to the hall to pick up the things that were left behind. I kneel down picking up books and shirts shoving them back into the box. I pick up a picture frame that broke through the tumble it took, and immediately dropped it when a booming voices sounded from the stairs. The sharp corner of the broken glass catching my finger as I drop it again.

"Ouch, oh damn it," I say, looking at where a small bubble of blood has started to form.

" Oh I'm sorry are you okay?" the deep voice asks, and I look up only to come face to face with someone's wide muscular chest. I suck on my finger trying to ease the pain, when I look up and see a gorgeous guy smiling back at me.

" Yeah, I am fine. You just caught me of guard that's all," I say, shaking my hand trying to get the stinging to stop. " You must be Emmett."

" Yeah that's me," he says, looking somewhat pleased that he was being talked about already. I laugh lightly.

" Winnie-the-Pooh my ass," I say, half-heartedly, yet somewhat intimidated by his sheer size. He laughs loudly in that booming voice that caught me off guard.

" Aww now come on, I'm a nice guy, I assure you," he says, smiling at me. " And to prove it I will help you pick up this mess, and be your personal slave for the rest of the night."

" That's okay, don't worry about it, I can handle this," I say, kneeling down quickly gathering my things from the floor.

" I insist," he says, grabbing my stuff in his hands and plunking them into the box. I cant help but to smile widely.

" Well if you insist then okay," I say, letting him pick up the box and carry it into the room for me.

" Did you finally get all that stuff picked up," Jade asks, popping her head back out of the closest. I watch her reaction as she looks straight up at Emmett. " Oh hi, Emmett right, or should I just call you Pooh Bear?" I laugh hysterically at that.

" Yes, yes you can. It's nice to meet you. And since your friend didn't introduce herself, let me try and guess who each of you are," he says, walking around each of us. His fingers on his chin, looking all serious like. He points at me and smiles wide. " You're Ana, and your Jade."

I look at him somewhat impressed.

" How did you know?" I ask, looking at him.

" Oh you know because I am amazingly smart," he says, smiling. Rosalie's voice floats to us from the door.

" And it helps that I told him which of you was which," she says, smiling. Emmett huffs loudly and reminds me of a child about to throw a tantrum.

" You ruined it Rose, I almost had her believing that I was in fact amazingly smart," he says, a small pout forming on his lips.

" Oh well, hey listen girls, Edward and Jazz are going to be here in five minutes if you want to take a break from moving to come down and get business all sorted out," she says, holding her hand out to Emmett. He doesn't extend his hand back to her, instead he huffs again.

" Aww Emmett, if it helps, I still think you are amazingly smart," I say, pinching his cheek lightly. In that instant I could feel the change. We became instantly connected. He was like the big brother I never had.

" Awesome, happy panda dance" he says, and he starts dancing around the room happily. I laugh so hard I fall to the bedroom floor and that in turn starts a chain reaction of uncontrollable laughter. I open my eyes at the sound of someone unfamiliar clearing their throat in the door way. He was tall, and lean. The sleeves of his gray sweater pushed up to his elbows. His dark hair was messed in such a way that it was intriguing and immediately I knew that he wasn't my type, though some serious eye candy he was. I smile sheepishly as my eyes drift to Jade who has become silent. I know that look. She is smitten. A small smile has her eyes glowing, and I smirk lightly.

" Ahh Edward, how nice of you to finally show that face of yours," Rosalie says, hugging him lightly, before turning to look back at us. " This is Ana, and Jade," she says, pointing respectively to us.

" It's a pleasure to meet you both, Jazz is running a little behind, but I'm sure we can go ahead and get started," he says, walking towards the stairs.

" Are you sure she wont mind if we start without her?" I ask skeptically walking behind Rosalie and Emmett. The three of them stop and turn to look at me, before another round of uncontrollable laughter starts.

" What, what did I say?" I ask, honestly wondering if I missed out on some huge joke. Edward is quickly the first to compose himself.

" Sorry, its just, Jazz is Rosalie's twin brother," he says, barely able to mask the laughter. I can feel the blush creeping to my cheeks.

" Oh, sorry. Its just I assumed that Jazz was short for Jasmine," I say, sounding stupider by the second. Jade slings her arms carelessly over my shoulder and joins in the chorus of laughter.

" Well Ana, you know what they say, when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me," she continues on rolling with her laughter. I elbow her lightly.

" Thank you Jade Elizabeth Larson," I say, knowing how much she hates when anyone uses her whole name.

" Your welcome Annalisa Marie Benson," she says, playfully pushing me.

" It's a common misconception, his name is Jasper," Rosalie says, gliding easily down the stairs ahead of us, while I mentally slap myself.

We are about half way through with the paper work when the door slams shut and a new voice rings through the house.

"Whose damn Explorer is parked in my spot," the voice carries to where we are seated. Instantly dread fills me from head to toe.

" Back here Jasmine, erm, Jazz," Emmett calls out, making fun of me was short lived though when Rosalie elbows him quickly. He walks in. He is tall too, not as tall as Emmett, and just a hair shorter than Edward. His blonde hair ruffled as he pulls off his hat and gives an uneasy smile to everyone in the room. I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks as I look at him from under my lashes. Gorgeous. Like on a scale from 1-10, he is a million plus one. My heart begins beating erratically in my chest as I realize that this one of my room mates, and that this very well could be love at first sight. I slap my hand to my forehead, and five sets of eyes stare at me as I lower my hand and realize that I didn't mentally slap myself but instead physically did it.

" Sorry I just realized that I left something back in California," I say quickly blurting out the first thing I could think of. Jade looks over at me, knowing I was lying.

" What did you forget?" she asks, knowing that the answer I would blurb out would be utterly ridiculous. Think Ana, think.

"My tampons," I say hurriedly, immediately regretting those words. The laughter echoes off the walls after that one, and I cant help but laugh along.

" Well I am sure that somewhere in the vast state of Washington they will have some you can buy," Rosalie says, continuing her laughter.

" Okay anyways, back to business," Edward says, turning his attention back to the papers we were looking at before the brief disruption of jaspers entrance. I try and concentrate on the things at hand, but I keep catching glimpses of Jasper out of the corner of my eye. 'He is so cute, ugh, come on Ana, get it together.'

" Okay so this is how it works. We try and make a unified effort in keeping things clean. Usually we switch off days of laundry because lets face it the last thing any of us want is to wash each others underwear. As for grocery shopping. We do one big shopping trip a month, we each usually put in a hundred dollars, and keep a list going. If before the next big shopping trip you want something that isn't in the house you of course can buy it yourself. Rent is due the first of the month. I think that about covers it," Edwards says, looking at Jade and me. " Did I miss anything Jazz." I wait for Jasper to speak up and say something so I look up to find his green eyes locked on me. Edward raises his hand and waves it in front of his face. "Jazz, did I miss anything?"

" What, oh, no that about covers it. We will just need signatures. Edward or I will go out and get copies of the key made for each of you, as well as getting you each the code to the alarm system," he says, his voce velvet smooth. I blink nervously as I watch Jade sign the paper. Jasper grabs the paper and hands it to me, our fingers slightly brushing each others. My heart immediately begins racing again, as I fumble with the pen. I sign my name quickly, and hand it back to Edward.

" Well ladies welcome home," he says easily, sliding the paper into a folder smiling happily at us both.

I walk back to my room, feeling as though I am floating on water. I don't know what has come over me, so I kick the closest box to me. I hear Jade close the door behind me and I know what is about to happen. I turn around slowly and look at her.

" I knew it, you like him," she accuses, slyly smiling. I have two options. I can try and deny it, or I can just be totally honest. The first option seems better.

" I have no idea what you are talking about, I don't even know him," I say, trying to busy myself with the closest box to my fingers.

" Don't lie to me Annalisa, I saw the look you got in your eyes the moment that boy came storming into the kitchen," she says, smiling even wider now.

" Oh well you know, just because, I uhm, well you like Edward so HA!," I finish, feeling quite proud that I called her out like she called me out. Her face grows red, and she turns away from me.

" You have no idea what your talking about," she says, running her fingers through her hair.

" Uh huh, sure I don't," I say, sitting on the floor. I lay back, staring at the ceiling. Jade soon joins me, and its quiet for a while. She looks over at me.

" You know we are missing something, well a few things," she says, bracing herself on her elbows looking around curiously.

" Yeah, beds, and dressers, ugh I so don't want to go shopping," I moan loudly as I fall backwards.

" I know me either. Maybe we can just sleep on the floor tonight, I'm sure they have an extra blanket or two and then we can go shopping tomorrow," she says, yawning loudly.

" Sounds good to me," I say, yawning back.

" Stop yawning," she commands, laughing through her next yawn.

" You started it," I say back, closing my eyes finally drifting off from all the excitement of the day.


	4. Chapter 4: Handcuffs,Beds,&Homesickness

Chapter 4: Handcuffs, Beds, and Homesickness…Oh My!

I push the blanket off of me and blink through sleep blurred eyes. I look around feeling somewhat confused as to where I am. I sit up trying to remember when I got the blanket. I cant remember getting the blanket, definitely something I will have to ask Jade about. I look to my right and see Jade still sound asleep. I flip open my cell phone to see what time it is. Seven forty five- ugh, are you kidding me? I stretch quietly and get to my feet. I open the door to our room softly and slip out not wanting to make any noise. I haven't tip-toed down the stairs since I was twelve but somehow I felt just like a child creeping through this big house. I walk into the kitchen and find Rosalie and Edward already awake talking quietly. I look at them both and my breathe catches in my throat. How is it possible that two people can look so stunning so early in the morning, it just wasn't fair. I nervously pull at the hem of my shirt, feeling completely homely compared to these two.

" Good morning," Rosalie says, pouring some orange juice into the pink glass in her hands.

" Morning," I respond, smiling as best as I can so early in the morning.

" How did you sleep?" she asks, handing me the glass. I take it smiling as I take the first drink.

" Good thanks, definately better than I did last night in Hotel Hell" I say, sliding myself onto the counter top. "Maybe you can tell me who brought me the blanket." I watch as Edward and Rosalie share a look between them.

" Oh erm, that would have been me," Jasper's sleep filled voice comes from the door way. I turn my head to see him shirtless wearing only a pair of blue sweat pants. I can't help but to stare at him for a moment, his lean body pale in color but perfectly toned.

" Thanks," I say, sliding from the counter. " So Jade and I are needing to go shopping today to pick up some things, I was wondering where the best place is to find furniture, at a decent price of course. We have our credit cards but for the most part we cant charge too much to them, at least not until we get jobs. Paying our first years tuition pretty much drained our accounts and our parents" I say, rambling on nervously, looking around the kitchen. " Sorry, I have the tendency of rambling on when I am nervous and have no caffeine in my system."

" Oh that's easy, Ikea," Rosalie says, rinsing her glass. " In fact, I'm not busy today, so if you would like maybe Emmett and I could join you guys, your own personal tour guides of the city," she says, smiling hopefully at me. " Oh and if you guys are in search of a job be sure and ask me later, I just might no someone who can help."

" That would be great, Jade will probably be up shortly, I just have the last few boxes to get out of the car, and then we can go," I say, happy to know that I wouldn't have to try and find my way around town alone.

" For the last time Jade, I am not going to let you talk me into buying that bed just because the bars on it would be perfect for handcuffs," I say, walking towards the beds on the other side of the store. Emmett's booming laughter soon follows that comment, and I cant help but get caught up in his wave of cheeriness.

" Aww come on Ana, you know that you would love it," she teases me, incessantly.

" It was one time Jade, one time. And I never said I loved it, I just kind of liked it" I say, easily teasing her back. I run straight into Emmett as I was walking behind him and didn't realize that he stopped.

" Oof, Emmett, why did you stop," I ask, looking at his facial expressions.

" So you guys are partners, like life partners, you're lesbians," he says, his voice growing louder. I blush from head to toe.

" We most certainly are not. I don't like girls, I like guys. I mean I like girls, I just do-" he stops me mid sentence a new light flicking on over his head. Seriously it is almost as if I could see the little light bulb switching on over his head like in all the old cartoons you watch.

" Ahh, so you play for both teams," he says, smiling broadly.

"Ugh no, I like guys. I like girls. But I do not like, like girls," I say slapping his shoulder playfully before collapsing from laughter at the absurdity of this conversation.

"Damn that would have been awesome," he says, collapsing onto the bed next to me.

"What would have been so awesome," Rosalie asks, her and Jade standing next to each other a look of utter amusement on their faces.

" Oh just that Emmett here thought that you and I were life partners," I say, looking at Jade trying to sound completely serious. It took her a moment to register what I said, before she starts laughing just as hysterically as we were.

" I think they have caught onto our secret Ana," she says, sounding serious.

" Oh yes, yes they have," I get up and look around a little bit more before deciding on a an iron wrought day bed and black dressers. Jade stuck pretty close to my choice, only she went with the bigger and in her words, better bed.

" No, Emmett turn it the other way," I say, trying to maneuver the boxes of furniture into the back of my car was harder than it should have been.

" We already tried it that way Annalisa," Emmett says, groaning lightly.

" Well then we are trying it again, come one push the box towards me," I say, trying to not sound annoyed. I watch his muscles ripple as he shoves the box in full force only my face was too close to the box and what happens next should have pissed me off, instead I find myself laughing until my sides ache while holding wadded up tissue to my bleeding lip.

" Thanks a lot Emmett for the fat lip, really first my finger, now my lip, whats next?" I ask, a slight lisp from the swollen lip making me sound funny.

" I didn't mean to," he says, rather glumly.

" I know its okay. I should have known better, it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole," I say, laughing harder. Jade chuckles from the drivers seat as we find our way back to our new home.

" She has a tendency of getting hurt, so you might as well get used to it," Jade says, laughing.

" Yes, yes I do," I reply, sitting back to look in the mirror in the car. It really didn't look all that bad, a little puffy, a little bruised, no big deal.

" So does Edward have a girlfriend?" Jade asks, looking in the rear view window, at Rosalie and Emmett in the back. Thats one thing I have always loved about Jade. She speaks her mind. If she wants to know something she asks, she isn't scared. Often times though, it was that sheer honestly, and bluntness that gets us into trouble.

" Nope, he is six months single. He and Bella broke up when she moved back to Arizona to be with her mom and new boyfriend. Bella and Alice used to share a room," Emmett answers, leaning forward to turn the stereo down.

" Alice?" I ask, turning in my seat to look at them.

" Me and Edwards little sister, she is twenty. She and Jasper, they used to have a thing, but it was kind of a messy break up. Jasper, he is kind of a serious guy. I mean he has fun, but for the most part he is like the parent of the group. Anyways, he wanted something serious, but Alice. Man I love her, but she a total free spirit. She wasn't ready to settle down, so Jasper broke it off. We tried living in peace for two months after that, but it all came to a head the night-," Emmett stops talking when Rosalie smacks him upside the head. " Sorry, it really isn't my place to finish this story." With that silence fills the car, save for the soft murmur of the radio playing. I cant help but to feel somewhat intrigued as to what happened, but I decide not to push the issue. I turn the radio up when Paramore's Misery Business starts playing and much to my surprise Emmett and Rosalie start singing right along with me. That's how we ended the car journey, singing and dancing like fools in the car until we backed in to the drive way to unload all of the stuff we bought.

I am studying the instructions to putting my bed together, which might as well be printed in gibberish because I dont understand any of it. When Jade, who is completely finished putting hers together, lays down on her bed with a satisfactory laugh. I look up from the paper in my hands, pushing my hair from my face.

" What do you think happened between Alice and Jasper that ended things so badly?" I ask, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Jade sits up on her bed, looking up at me. " I don't know. If you are all that curious, ask him yourself," she says, standing up to admire her work. I roll my eyes.

" Oh yeah, I will just walk up to the new room mate who I find drop dead gorgeous and have known less than twenty four hours and ask him why him and his ex-girlfriend broke up," I say, grabbing the tools that were sitting next to Jade.

"True my friend true, but who knows. Maybe its like Emmett said, maybe she wasn't ready for the big commitment what twenty year old is?" she asks, pulling the plastic cover from her mattress. I think about that for a second.

" I need to stretch, so I think I am going to go for a walk," I say, leaving Jade to situate her side of the room the way she wants it. I walk outside, the crisp September air nipping at me slightly. I wrap one arm around myself, and scroll through my cell phone finding my mothers phone number. I press the call button and listen to it ring.

" Hello Baby-Doll, how are you? How's The Evergreen State? Meet any cute guys, how are the dorms?" my mothers excited voice rings through the phone. I smile to myself as I open my mouth to speak.

" Slow down mom," I say, sitting on the back step, staring out across the trees. " I am great. And so far the Evergreen State is doing well. Cute guys are all around here, as for the dorms. Well see there was a problem. It seems that Jade and I forgot to confirm our room, so they booked over us. But don't worry, we found an awesome place, rent is three twenty five each, so we are going to be just fine," I say, heading off any worry that she would have.

" Aww, I am sorry baby-doll I was hoping you both would get the dorm experience, but I am glad that you guys got it all worked out," she says, sounding relieved. Our conversation continued for another thirty minutes. I happily listened as she replayed her last few days, just realizing how much I have missed hearing her voice. The homesickness hits me like a tidal wave. I can feel my throat thicken as I fight against the tears.

" Okay momma, I will call again soon, or look forward to an email, I love you, bye," I say quickly shutting my phone firmly trying my hardest not to cry. I always fight against my tears but its futile. So I look around quickly to assure that I am alone, before I bury my head in my hands and cry. I hear the soft clicking of the door open, and I quickly try and wipe my face before I turn to see who is standing there. Jasper. Its like a sudden wave of calm seems to radiate off of his body and washed over me. I smile a watery smile up at him as he takes a seat next to me. We sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments before he finally says something.

" You okay?" he asks, looking over at me, his serious green eyes looking at me as if he can see into my very soul.

" Oh yeah, the tears. I was on the phone with my mom. I didn't realize how homesick I would be until I heard her voice," I say, wiping the last few tears from my face.

" Its hard at first to be away from everyone and everything that you know," he says, easily understanding how I am feeling. I nod my head, sliding back into the comfortable silence. I catch myself every once in a while looking over at him trying to read his face.

" Well uhm I better get back inside, I have a bed to put together," I say, getting to my feet.

" Do you need any help with that? Wow what happened to your lip" he asks, stopping to look at me.

" Oh, this. Ha no big deal we were trying to get the boxes in the car only it was too small a space to big a box and SMACK, right in the face. Anyways, better get back to building my bed, thanks for the offer to help, but I think I have it this time, maybe the next time I am in need of furniture assembly I will call on you," I chuckle slightly walking through the kitchen, and I could have sworn I heard him whisper I hope so under his breathe. I turn around and see him sitting at the kitchen table looking at the screen of his laptop, so I just shake my head and walk away. I smooth the sheets in place onto my freshly built bed humming to the song playing on the stereo. Jade left an hour earlier going for a ride with Rosalie to the grocery store, for a shopping trip her favorite thing to do in the world. I smiled knowing the falsehood of that statement. She hates grocery shopping, if she could she would avoid it like the plague. I look around our new room and find that we are pretty much completely unpacked, a few things remained for each of us to unpack, and deep down I think we were both putting it off because by finally unpacking those final few things we realize just how real us being here and not home is. That the safe familiar valley, is supposed to just become a memory. I walk from the room, trying to think of something to do. I decide to start looking around the house. I knew that the room across from ours was Jaspers. Actually, the bedrooms upstairs were me and Jade's room and Jasper's. There was a small guest bathroom, and another family room. I take the hall leading to the family room, and that's when I notice it. The halls were lined perfectly with different family portraits. I take my time looking down the long line of photo's. I smile at some where I can definitely tell who it is. One picture stands out more than the rest of them, a smiling picture of Jasper, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and who I was assuming is Alice, seeing as her resemblance to Edward and Emmett was scary. They all look happy in this photo. There own little unit. I look on, still with the image of that photo burned into my memory. I have always wanted that. My own little unit. It was just me and my mom for so long, and the Jade was added into my unit, but to have all of that almost palpable love to surround me would be one of the greatest gifts in the world.

"Ana, oh, Ana," Jade's sing song voice fills the room. I open my eyes, and lift my head from the couch cushion.

" Huh?" I ask, not quite ready to get up.

" I went grocery shopping" she shudders dramatically, before smiling wickedly. "Therefore you have to help put them away." I groan loudly as she pulls me up from the couch by the back of my shirt.

" But I don't want to Jade, please, please, don't make me," I whine as she pushes me towards the stairs.

" Don't be such a baby. I had to suck it up and do the shopping, you can help put them away, besides I bought you something," she says, happily linking her arms with mine as we walk towards the kitchen. I perk up instantly at the thought of her buying me something.

" What did you get me?" I ask, smiling looking at all of the bags that litter the kitchen.

" Put away and then you will see" she says, and we start unpacking the kitchen, working methodically easily finding where things are supposed to go.

" Where is Rosalie?" I ask, suddenly realizing that its just us working in the kitchen.

" Oh, she and Emmett had a few errands of their own to run, anyways here," she says, tossing me a box. I catch it and look down before breaking into hysterical laughter at the box of tampons with a pretty pink bow taped to the top of it that landed into my waiting hands.

" Thanks friend, really this is the best gift ever," I say, laughing until my sides feel like they are going to burst.


	5. Chapter 5: Beer And Heartbreak

Chapter 5: Beer and Heart Break

It's been pretty easy to fall into a routine in this new city, in this new home. I walk up the front steps of the house fumbling with my keys, my arms weighed down with the heavy books that I am carrying. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to double major. 'Always the over achiever,' Jades voice rings through my head. It's often something that she always teases me about. I giggle slightly to myself, continuing to fight with the door. " Come on, will you just open," I say out loud, pushing all of my weight against the door. The door gives way and I stumble through scattering papers and books through the entry way. "Great, just great. Perfect ten Ana."

" Is that a habit of yours? Talking to yourself?" a soft voice comes from behind me where I was knelt down picking up the things that I dropped. I gasp slightly turning around to look at who it is, pressing a hand to my erratically beating heart.

" Jesus Jasper, you scared the hell out of me," I say, putting the papers back in my notebook. He blushes slightly, and a strange look crosses his face. Almost as if he was fighting an internal battle as to whether or not to help me. Finally he sighs slightly and kneels down to pick up a few of the papers I missed. I grow self-conscious knowing that the papers he held in his hands has music lyrics I came up with written all over them. I see him look at the paper and smile. I grow somewhat breathless at the look that lightens his face. I feel the blush creeping up my face, and I wrap my arms around myself trying to think of something to say.

" These are good," he says simply handing me the paper.

" Thanks," I whisper, sliding the papers back into my bag. I watch as he walks towards the kitchen pulling off his gray university sweater. I look at him, and the stairs, trying to decide which way to go. Easy. Escape. Before I do something else to totally humiliate myself. I walk up the stairs quickly and practically run into my room, shutting the door a little too loudly behind me. I pile my stuff onto my bed trying to control my emotions. What is with me, I think to myself. I cant even be around him without turning into a bumbling idiot. I throw myself face down onto my bed and begin screaming at myself into my pillows. "You are such an idiot. Seriously Ana, you don't even know him that well. Who cares if he is gorgeous," I am interrupted in the middle of my tirade by the sound of someone clearing their throat at my door. I slowly lift my head to see an amused Jasper standing at my door.

" I uhm, erm, sorry. It was just a rough day, I sometimes find yelling at myself helps me calm down," I say, trying to make my excuse sound honest.

" I'm not sure exactly how that works, but I just came to tell you. Rose just called and we all want to go out tonight," he says, leaning effortlessly against the door frame. I stare at him as the silence falls in the room, and start biting my lip when I realize I was supposed to say something.

" Oh okay, well you guys have fun. I am sure that Jade and I can find something fun to fill our time, and if not I have a mountain of homework," I say, pointing to the mountain of books and papers on my bed. He looks at me for a second his eyes scanning my face, as if he were trying to determine if I said, what I just said. He laughs. An easy, joyful sounds that makes my heart speed up.

" Your funny Ana, when I said we want to go out tonight, that means you and Jade too," he says, turning to walk from the room. I am frozen for a second. Searching for something, anything to say.

" Hey wait," I say, jumping up from my bed to catch him before he shuts himself away in his room. He turns to look at me.

" Where are we going?" I ask, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, just to hear his voice one more time.

" Belltown Billiards," he says simply, slipping into his bedroom closing the door behind him.

I knock on the bathroom door one final time. Okay, okay so not so much a knock, more of a pounding.

" Jade come on seriously you have been in there for almost an hour I need to do stuff in there too," I yell through the door, trying my hardest to sound pissed. The door swings open revealing Jade in her favorite faded gap jeans and a simple tight black shirt. I smile at her. She has always been pretty. Always. Her make up perfect, hair perfect, ugh so not fair.

" You done yet?" I ask, smiling sweetly.

" No, but you are more than welcome to come in and get ready with me, that way you aren't standing in the hall way screaming like a banshee anymore," she says, returning the sarcastic smile. I roll my eyes, shutting the bathroom door behind me.

" Thank you," I say, putting my make up bag down on the counter and staring into the mirror. My eyes by far are the greatest thing about me. I didn't get much from my mom. Physically speaking. I look more like my dad, I have his hair, his facial expressions, his awkwardness, but luckily I got my mothers beautiful green eyes. I sigh heavily. I could never be with Jasper. I close my eyes, ugh, where did that thought come from? "He prefers pixie like brunettes," the voice in my head taunts me, and I feel the familiar monster known as insecurity drift through me. I spent all of my high school career fighting my own personal self-esteem demons. I grip the corner of the counter and close my eyes taking a deep, clarifying breathe. I open my eyes to see Jade staring at me, a familiar light in her eyes. No words had to spoken between us. She knew me. She knew what was going on. She turns to me looking me in the eyes.

" Stop it. Whatever your thinking, whatever anxiety there is, just stop.," she says, shaking me lightly, immediately lifting my mood. I smile brightly, not even having to fake it.

" Thanks," I say simply, turning back to the mirror to look myself in the eyes.

"Okay ladies, seriously, if you aren't down here in two-point-five seconds, I will come up there and get you myself. It doesn't take that long to get ready, I mean God, I do my make-up in five minutes," Emmett's loud booming voice comes from the stairs. I laugh along with Rosalie and Jade as we finish what Emmett so lovingly called our 'un-necessary womanly ritual.'

" Coming Pookie," Rose calls through the door ever so sweetly. I choke back a chuckle at that as I am finishing up my eyeliner. I step back looking at myself in the mirror. Not too bad for my first "social" outing in Washington. I chose one of my favorite Ed Hardy shirts and a pair of light wash jeans. Simple, cute. I spent a little too much time on my hair, curling my waist length hair and making sure it fell just the right way. 'I wonder what jasper will think,' I think to myself, automatically shutting down that train of thought.

" Hello Earth to Ana, you ready girly or what?" Jade asks, waving her hand in my face. I snap out of my day dream and smile. " As ready as I will ever be," I say, grabbing my purse from the counter following behind her down the stairs. We followed the commotion that was coming from the kitchen. I walk in astonished by just how well the guys I lived with clean up. Edward went with a relaxed look. Pair of jeans, plain baby blue shirt, rolled to his elbows. His hair a falling into its naturally messy look. Emmett followed in his big brothers foot steps as far as the jeans went, but his shirt has me laughing. An obnoxious shirt that proclaims in big bold letters, "How Many Licks Does It Take" with the tootsie pop owl sitting precariously perched on a branch.

" Hmm I don't know, how many licks does it take Rosalie?" Jade asks, in the best serious voice that she can muster.

" Well if you really want to know," She starts saying, but the sound of Jasper clearing his throat awkwardly stops her.

" Really I don't need to hear this conversation," he says smoothly. I turn to look at him and cant help but to lose hold on the water bottle I had been holding onto. I haven't seen Jasper look like this. So lazily gorgeous. The top buttons of his black shirt un done to reveal a flash of pale skin, relaxed fit jeans.

" So you going to pick up the bottle of water Ana, or stare at Jasper all night?" Jade asks, teasingly. I snap back to reality blushing deeply as I pick up the water bottle. An awkward silence falls in kitchen, until Emmett bursts out into song.

" How many licks does it take to get to the center of an uh, uh" his loud booming voice sings causing everyone to laugh.

" We better go. Oh Jade you, me, Em and Edward are going in my car. That way you and Ana don't have to try and follow us and possibly get lost," Rosalie says, smirking as she looks at Jasper.

" Oh okay, well erm, I guess that means I am riding with you," I say, looking at Jasper.

" Guess so," he says, holding the front door open for me. I walk slowly to his car, looking through the darkness at Jade sliding into the back of Rosalie's convertible. Our eyes meet quickly and I shoot her a pleading glance, and instead of riding to my rescue like any good friend should, she just smiled and shut the door. I watch as Jasper walks around the front of his car and opens my door for me. I blush deeply.

" Oh thanks," I say, sliding into his black BMW. Immediately I notice his scent. The intoxicating smell of his cologne has me itching to jump him the moment he gets in the car, but alas I find an insane amount of self-control. He closes the door silently with a small smirk on his face as he walks around the front sliding into his seat behind the wheel. He starts the car and I have to admit I am a tad bit jealous at the beauty that is this car. " So how far away is this place?" I ask, trying to fill the silence that has fallen in the car.

" About twenty minutes, depends on traffic though," he says easily, driving smoothly through the streets. I keep my eyes fixed on the street lights that flash by us and start humming.

" What song is that?" he asks, and I turn to look at him.

" Oh sorry, uhm, its not a song, its just a melody I started writing a few weeks ago," I say, fidgeting nervously in my seat.

" Its nice I like it. You have an incredible talent," he says, and with that a comfortable silence falls between us until we arrive at our destination.

I stand by Jade watching Emmett pummel a frat boy at pool. Being underage I don't know how I got in, but alas I chose to stay on the safe side of things and drink Pepsi.

" So on a scale of one to ten how cute do you think he is?" Jade asks, sipping on her pixie stick.

" Ehh I give him a solid seven," I say, sneaking a small sip from her drink. I like the flavor of it, and it temps me to push my luck and see if I can get lucky and get a drink. Until Rosalie runs up to Emmett and whispers something in his ear that his mood shifting from happily buzzed to serious. I follow their gaze towards the door where Jasper and Edward have been standing for the last twenty minutes in a serious conversation. I catch a flash of dark hair and realize that here is a girl standing with them. She is beautiful, pixie like. Her cap of chocolate brown hair shines in the lighting of the bar. She flashes a bright smile at Edward, and I realize who she is. I groan silently to myself.

" Jade," I say, grabbing her arm. " That's Alice."

" No way," she says, following where I point. I don't know why but the sudden urge to get out falls over me.

" I will be right back, I have to go to the restroom," I say, walking as quickly as I could through the packed bar. I weave in and out of people easily and I'm just about to pass Edward and Jasper when it happens. A guy who is more than just a little drunk steps back from the bar losing his balance slightly, knocking me and his drink to the floor. I fall straight back, luckily enough catching most of the impact on my hands, when the cold sensation of his drink spreads from my neck to my thighs.

" Oh shit, sorry," the stranger says, and instead of doing the courteous thing like stretching his hand out to help me, he walks away with his buddies.

"Prick," I say, and I notice a slim hand held out to me. I look up into the face of Alice Cullen. A sympathetic smile spreads over her lips as she helps me to my feet.

" Are you okay?" she asks, when I am finally standing.

" Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Nothing a good washing wont fix," I look at her and try my best to smile, but instead tears start falling. " I'm sorry excuse me," I say, darting around her to the bathroom. I rush through the door and find an empty stall and I slam the door shut locking it tightly as I look down to assess the damage that the pricks beer caused to my shirt. I can hear the door to the bathroom open, and hushed voices.

" Ana, you okay?" Jade's voice rings through the bathroom. I sniffle loudly indicating to her that I am clearly not okay. A small knock sounds on the stall door and I unlock it revealing not only Jade, but Rosalie and Alice. All of them sympathetic looks plastered on their faces.

"Its okay look, hold on," Rosalie says as she rushes from the bathroom. I stand there soaking up the beer on my shirt with the paper towels that Alice helpfully handed to me. Ugh, I really didn't want to like her.

" Thanks," I say finally, trying my best to smile at her.

" It's no problem, personally I would have ripped the guys head off myself," she says, laughing slightly. " No one messes up my clothes, by the way I am Alice, Alice Cullen."

" I know, you, Emmett and Edward look so much alike. I'm Ana," I say, looking at her extended hand. " I would shake your hand, but its kind of disgustingly sticky."

" Gotcha," she says, pulling her hand back, a beaming smile on her face.

" So how are you enjoying my old room," she asks, taking the used paper towel from my hands.

" We love it," Jade says, her voice slightly slurred. I nod in agreement. Debating with myself and finally I decide to speak up.

" Yeah it's a great room, why did you give it up?" I ask, hoping that I don't come across too nosey.

" Ahh well I'm sure that you have heard by now that Jasper and I were, well we had a very serious relationship. Well I decided to end it because he wanted something even more serious, and I just wasn't ready to give it to him. I wanted to wait, and he didn't want to. So we broke up, anyways, long story short, I met an amazing guy just a month after Jasper and I broke up and we started dating. Well Jasper didn't care much for it. He didn't understand how I could tell him no to something more serious when we have been dating since high school, but the moment we broke up or so it seems to him, I jumped head long into another relationship. Anyways, he walked in on me and Mike in bed, and went a little ballistic. So I decided the best thing to do was leave, I couldn't expect him too, after all its his and Rosalie's parents house. Since then we try and be civil towards each other," she says, in a tone that is almost bored. I study her for a minute trying to gauge her feelings.

" Oh wow, that was a mouthful huh?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.

" You will learn that about me I talk a lot and I am not afraid to speak my mind," she says, and I can tell she is wanting to say something else, but the sound of Rosalie knocking on the stall door stops her. She glides through the door and holds up a familiar shirt. Jasper's shirt.

" Okay missy give me your shirt," she says, looking at me seriously. I look around and decide I have nothing to lose. I pull my shirt over my head and hand it to her, while she hands me Jasper's black shirt. I button it up and realize that I am swimming in it. I roll the sleeves up to my elbows, and pull it tight in the back and tie it in a knot.

" Not too bad," Rosalie and Alice say together and laugh. I step out of the stall and look in the mirror and decide it could be worse, like I could be stuck in a beer soaked shirt for the rest of the night. I fix my tear smudged make up and put my hair up. I catch the smell of Jasper's cologne as I am fixing my hair and cant help but to blush slightly at my own thoughts.

" Okay now that big beer drama is over, let go dance," Rosalie says, grabbing me and Jade's hands, pulling us back out to the back room where people are crowding in to dance.

" Finally Ana, my sweet, sweet Ana, come dance with me," Emmett drunken voice has me giggling. So I join him dancing wildly and happily. Somehow the minutes ticked by quickly, I grew hot and decided to step away for a few seconds. I watch as Emmett, Rosalie, Jade, Edward, Alice, a guy who I am assuming is Mike, all dance together laughing and smiling.

" Want a dance partner?," someone asks from behind, their warm breath blowing across my neck. I turn to see Jasper smiling at me.

" Oh, sure," I answer nervously as he places his hand on the small of my back and leads me to the group. The music was fast and pumping and we slid easily into the dance. His hands gliding from the small of my back to my waist. I look up to see him smiling down at me, he looks once quickly over my shoulder and then down at me, before he leans down and kisses me. We both stop moving. I sink into the kiss. Loving the feel of his lips on mine. He turns me around and continues the kiss, my arms wrapping lightly around his neck. He pulls away slowly, smiling down at me.

" Is she looking?" he asks, and I shake my head dazed and unsure if I heard him correctly.

" What?" I ask loudly over the music.

" Is she looking?" he asks again, nudging his head back, I look over his shoulder and see Alice and Mike lost in their own little world. My arms fall heavily down to my sides as I look up at him.

" Well, is she looking?" he asks again, almost urgently. I don't know how it happened. But my hand snaps up and across his face, slapping him with all of the strength I can find.

" No, she isn't fucking looking," I say, backing away from him, grabbing my purse from the nearby table, and I walk quickly out of the bar, my heart breaking with every step I take.


	6. Chapter 6:Head Wounds And Kiss And Tell

Chapter 6: Head Wounds and Kiss and Tell

The cold air strikes me first. My breathe wheezing in and out of my lungs as I refuse to let the tears fall. I look around the parking lot, seeing Rosalie and Jasper's cars. I should key his car it would serve him right,' I think to myself. I look around trying to remember what direction we came in from. I start walking through the rows of cars towards the parking lot exit, when I hear someone calling my name.

" Ana, wait," Jasper yells at me, I turn to see him jogging towards me. I feel the anger raising inside of me.

" Go away," I say, turning back around. He catches my elbow and spins me around to look at him.

" Let me explain," he starts saying. I yank my arm back from his tight grip.

" Save it. I know what that was all about, your feeble attempt to A, get back at Alice for jumping from the serious relationship with you that she wasn't ready for, to the apparent serious relationship that she and Mike are in. Or B, you were hoping that she still secretly has feelings for you and that by kissing me you would make her jealous. God what are we in junior high again?" I ask, my voice raising in volume.

" Look Ana, I'm sorry," he says, looking genuinely upset by his own actions. He deserves every single ounce of pain," I think to myself, my anger quickly shifting to a tidal wave of pain. Blinding, paralyzing, sheer heartbreak. A pained look crosses his face.

" I don't care how sorry you are Jasper, I am not a pawn in some game. I don't want any part in your sick little attempt to win Alice back. Now with that said, I'm going home," I say turning quickly from him and starting to walk.

" You can't walk home Ana," he says, walking to stand in front me. I glare up at him.

" Want to bet?" I ask, the pain just radiating off of me, ringing through my voice.

" Listen, Ana, I screwed up I'm sorry, but this is a new town, and I don't want you to get hurt," he says, reaching his hand out to me.

" Oh but see you already took care of that, didn't you?" I say, walking past him and out of the parking lot.

So, I have had some pretty dumb idea's in my twenty years of living. This being one of them. Walking in the dark, in a strange town, when I have a horrible sense of direction in broad daylight. And did I mention its raining? Oh yes, raining. Pouring to be exact. I shiver violently against the cold and the wet as I try and see the street sign through the torrents of rain. My phone buzzes and I pull it out looking at the screen. The tenth text message from Jade asking me where I am and threatening to cause bodily harm if I don't text her back, unfortunately for me I'm shaking so hard against the cold that I can barely hold on to my phone long enough to put it back in my purse. I decide to keep walking. Just keep walking. I am almost certain that if I were to stop walking I would freeze to death where I stood. I turn right on a familiar road, and I can almost weep from excitement when I see the row of fraternity houses, which tells me I am only ten blocks away from home. I start walking quicker, passing the first row of houses, when I hear some rowdy voices from behind me. I shoot a look over my shoulder when I see a group of four guys walking drunkenly behind me.

" Hey girl how ya doin'," one slurred voice calls out. 'Think Ana, think'. I decide to cross the street away from them. They follow me though. My heart starts hammering in my chest when I realize that by crossing the street and turning I have come to a dead end with a group of drunk guys hot on my trail.

" Aww, you don't have to run from us sugar, we don't bite," one of the guys says, his eyes dark and somewhat menacing.

" listen I don't want any trouble okay, I'm just trying to get home," I say, backing against the wall. Sheer terror filling me. The one closest to me grabs my shirt and pulls violently yanking me against him. The smell of beer on his breath makes me want to puke, and I start fighting back.

" Don't do this please," I say, dropping my purse to the ground. I pull away and he yanks harder, and the fabric gives way with a loud ripping sound. I fall as the part of the shirt he was holding onto rips away from my body, smacking my head against the pavement and stars explode in front of my eyes. I shake my head trying to clear my vision, and I see my would be attackers running from the courtyard. I sit up experimentally, laying my head against the wall. Tears fall down my face as I realize what could have happened, and the reality of what has happened sinks in. The sound of screeching tires catches my attention, and I look to my right to see Jasper, Emmett, and Edward slamming out of their cars, with Jade and Rosalie right behind them. Jasper is the first to me, kneeling in the rain in front of me, lifting my chin with his finger.

" Ana, are you okay?" he asks slowly looking at me.

" Have a bitch of a head ache," I say, feeling my eyes filling with tears. Jade roughly pushes Jasper out of the way taking my face in her hands.

" What the hell were you thinking, Annalisa Marie Benson? Walking home, alone, at night," she scolds me roughly, before pulling me into a hug.

" Sorry, I was just being stubborn," I say, pulling away from her embrace.

" Well lets get you home," Emmett says, the most serious look on his face that I have ever seen him have. He bends down in front of me lifting me easily into his muscular arms. He puts me in Jasper's car and shuts the door. I shiver slightly against the cold that has reached my bones. I watch Jasper walk solemnly to the car and get in. The drive home was quick, five minutes. Five long torturous minutes that seemed like an eternity in the silence of Jasper's car. I watch as Emmett jumps easily out of the car and walks towards us, opening the door and lifting me out in one swift and graceful movement.

" Thanks," I say, as soon as he sets me down on the couch in the living room.

" Anytime half-pint," he says, a small tint of amusement in his voice.

" Half-pint?" I ask, looking up at him as Jade wraps a towel around me.

" Yeah your as light as a feather, so you are now half-pint," he chuckles lightly. I smile at the nickname.

" Okay seriously, what were you thinking Ana, walking alone at night?" Rosalie asks, concern flowing through her voice. I look at all of the eyes on me. Stopping to stare at Jaspers eyes the longest. The feelings of anger and hurt come back.

"Hold on before we jump down her throat for an answer, I'm going to clean up that cut. Maybe we should take her to the emergency room," Jade says, walking into the kitchen for the first aid kit. I widen my eyes, looking from person to person in the room.

" No, no. I am not going to the emergency room, please don't make me go to the emergency room," I say, my eyes pleading on Jade's. She knows my fear of emergency rooms. Actually hospitals in general.

" Fine I will take a look at it, and if I don't like what I see, we will take you in," she says, her tone turning serious. I watch her get to work smoothly. One thing about Jade, she is the most indecisive person I know, besides myself. Where I on one hand bounced from major to major unsure of what I wanted to do with my life, Jade never wavered on what she wanted to do with her life, she was sure of what she wanted of what she wanted to be from the time that she was ten. A doctor. Who would have thought, with her olive skin, black hair, and lip ring she looks like the typical punk chick. Her passion though is helping people, once you get passed the tough ass exterior. I watch her work. Methodically pulling out supplies.

" Can someone pull her hair back for me?," she asks, looking around the room. Emmett took Rosalie to the back room before she ended up throwing up all of her good alcohol from the sight of the blood. I watch as Jasper gets up and stands behind me running is fingers through my hair carefully.

" Is this good?" he asks, and I try to place the emotion in his voice.

" Yes, okay now Ana, this is going to sting, and I am not going to lie to you and say not that much, its going to hurt like a bitch," Jade says, looking me in the eyes as she gets ready to apply whatever it is to my head. I feel the cold contact of the liquid on my head, soon followed by a burning, searing heat. Tears came to my eyes, and I involuntarily screamed out.

" Son of a bitch," I scream, trying to hold back the rest of the four letter words that want to come streaming out of my mouth. I watch through streaming eyes as Emmett come traipsing into the room, a bra wrapped around his head and hot pink sunglasses on. I start laughing, small at first until I cant control it.

" Emmett, you look, you look like a bug. A really big, strange bug," I say, having totally forgotten about Jade busy at work patching up my head.

" I am Emmelina, the transvestite fairy, I have come to help heal your head," he says in the highest squeakiest voice I have ever heard, "And don't I just look fabulous?" Jade chuckles lightly at that and looks at me.

" Well I'm done, the cut wasn't too bad, a few butterfly stitches and you are good to go. You might have a slight concussion but I'm sure you will be okay," she says, closing up the first aide kit. "Now tell us, what the hell were thinking walking home late at night in a strange town, by yourself?" I look around, as the uplifted mood turns somber again. Jasper's hands still holding my hair. I move my head slightly and he immediately drops his hands.

" Look, I'm tired, cold, and wet, and if you really want to know what I was doing walking home alone, ask Jasper," I say, getting up and leaving the room. I start walking up the stairs when I hear Jade's voice ring out. " What did she mean by ask you?" I smile to myself at the accusatory ring in her voice.

I close myself in the bathroom, turning on the shower to full blast. The hot water steaming up the bathroom quickly. I look in the mirror, my hair soaking wet, eyes big and a paler than its normal shade of green. My skin pale. The bruise and newly bandaged cut run along the right side of my head. I press my fingers to it lightly and wince. I peel off the remainder of Jasper's tattered shirt and drop it to the floor. I step in to the shower snapping the curtain short letting the hot water stream over my body. I slide my back against the wall laying my head against my knees and surprisingly no tears come. I just start shaking. Thanking what ever holy entity there is for letting it not be so much worse than it is. A soft knock on the door has my head snapping up.

" Who is it?" I ask wearily.

" Jade," she says, and I hear the door sliding open and shut again. I peak my head around the shower curtain and see her standing holding some clothes in her hands. " I just thought you could use some dry clothes."

" Thanks," I say, closing the curtain again. I feel so bad, so selfish. I knew that whenever something bad happened to Jade how it affected me, and I knew it was the same for her. I turn the water off and grab the towel hanging over on the wall. I wrap it around myself and open the shower curtain and look at her.

" I'm sorry," I say, my voice finally growing shaky.

" Listen missy, I promised your mom I would keep an eye out for you, so please if you feel like doing something insanely stupid, just don't, or at least don't do it alone," she says, smiling a forgiving smile.

" Okay, I solemnly swear that I will not do anything insanely stupid without you," I say, raising my right hand.

" Ha ha, you smart ass," she says, and with that she leaves the room and leaves me alone with my thoughts.

I open the bathroom door and look around. No one is in sight and I cant hear anyone's voice, so I walk down the stairs carrying my soaked clothes to the laundry room. I turn the first corner and run right into Jasper.

" Oh sorry, erm, so it looks like I owe you a shirt," I say, shifting from foot to foot.

" Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault," he says, looking at me a quick flash of anger flashing through his eyes.

" Well, then I am just going to take these to the laundry room," I say, moving to go around him.

" Ana, we have to talk about this," he says, causing me to stop in my tracks. I just nod in agreement and walk into the laundry room.

I never saw the inside of Jasper's room until this moment. His walls were painted a dark blue, with posters from some of his favorite bands on the walls. His bed was huge taking up a good part of the space, and it was insanely clean for a guys bedroom. I sit on the floor under his window, with Jasper sitting across from me. I watch him, as he attempts time and time again to say something. He opens his mouth and then shuts it. Shakes his head and does it all over again. I cant help but laugh. He looks at me questioningly.

" What?" he asks, trying to figure out what I am laughing about.

" Sorry, its just the way you keep opening and closing your mouth, it kind of makes you look like a fish," I say, laughing hysterically. Much to my amusement he lets a small laugh escape his lips.

" I am just trying to figure out what to say," he says, running a hand nervously through his hair. I have seen him be many things, in this first week of living here, but never nervous. " I should have never put you in this position. I should have never used you that way. It's just that this thing, between Alice and me is complicated. It's not even that I am in love with her anymore. I mean I will always love her, she was my first love, it was more of a spite thing. It shattered me when she told me she wasn't ready, but I was willing to wait for her," he says, taking a deep breathe almost as if to steady himself. " I was willing to wait for her Ana, and she jumps right into a relationship with the next guy who comes along." it grows quiet again because I wasn't sure what to say to him, almost afraid that if spoke up he would stop spilling his feelings to me.

" Ana, I am very sorry. I think about what could have happened to you, and I hate myself for putting you in that position," he says, looking at me, something glowing in his eyes. I shake my head at him.

" Jasper, what happened was my fault. I was stupid and childish. And yes, what you did was wrong, putting me in the middle of you and Alice, but I should have never attempted to walk all the way home in the middle of the night, by myself," I say, slightly rubbing at the pain in at my temple. " Besides I should have known that you could never," I trail of not finishing the sentence. I can feel the blush creeping up my neck towards my face.

" You should have known what?" he pushes me for the answer. I shake my head sadly, and get to my feet.

" Never mind, don't worry about it. Well good night Jasper," I say, walking to his bedroom door. I didn't even here him get up until I felt him catch my wrist in his fingers.

" Ana, please, tell me," he says, looking at me sincere hope in his eyes. I take a deep breathe and decide to say it.

" I should have known that you could never feel for me what I feel for you," I say, searching his eyes for a reaction. He doesn't say anything, not a single world for the longest ten seconds of my life.

" Ana, I," he says, and I shake my head. And step out of his bedroom.

" It's okay Jasper, I understand, its no big deal. Just a crush," I say, turning from him and walking into my room, leaving him to stare after me for the second time in one night.

I shut the door to my room quietly hoping that Jade is still awake.

" What was that all about?" her voice rings through the room quietly.

" Oh you know, same old same old. He says he isn't still in love with Alice, that he just kissed me out of spite. Oh and I confessed to him that I like him, and he didn't say anything," I say, falling back onto her bed to lay next to her.

" Hold on back up, when did he kiss you?" she asks, pulling herself up to sit next to me. I close my eyes.

" He didn't tell you downstairs?" I ask, dreading her reaction to all of this.

" No mostly him and Edward stared at each other a lot before Edward stormed from the room saying something along the lines of 'Nice going dumb ass'," she says, pulling her pillow into her lap.

" Oh well, long story short. He kissed me," I say, looking at her. Her facial expressions went through so many changes in such a small amount of time. First shock, then a smirk, and lastly confusion.

" And this is a bad thing why? You have been completely gaga over this guy since the moment you saw him," she says, her voice filled with genuine confusion.

" It was great, the kiss. Until the kiss ended and he asked me if Alice was watching," I say, the feeling of humiliation washing over me.

" WHAT?" she yells, and I clamp my hand over her mouth.

" Will you shut up," I say, releasing my hand only after she nods her head in agreement.

" That ass hole," she says, a look of anger contorting her beautiful face.

" My sentiments exactly," I say, falling onto my back staring up at her ceiling. Its quiet for awhile in the room.

" So what are you going to do? I mean its obvious you have feelings for him," she says, stretching out so that her legs were across my lap.

" Avoid him like you avoid grocery stores," I say easily. A calm quiet descends on us.

" I have to know something. How good was the kiss?" Jade asks, smiling innocently.

" Oh my God, so good," I say, laughing easily.

" Yeah but how good? Like on the scale of James to cute college boy you kissed last summer," she says, making me laugh hysterically.

" Oh, a million times better than college boy from last summer," I say, blushing at the memory of just how good the kiss was.

" Some girls have all the luck, damn" she says, laughing as she pushes me off the bed.


	7. Chapter 7:VCard Discussions

Chapter 7: The V-Card Discussion and The Party Dress

My head is pounding. This head ache is the size of the Mississippi. It definitely doesn't help that Emmett has been singing Spice Girls at the top of his lungs for the past hour. I roll over with a groan and look through blurry eyes at my alarm clock. 9:45 a.m. Are you kidding me? Its not even ten in the morning yet, how can he possibly be this wide awake. I didn't fall into bed until after five, and after that I tossed and turned for two hours trying to get comfortable, trying to make my head stop hurting, willing myself to stop thinking about Jasper. The way his eyes shine when he looks into the light at just the right angle, or the way he runs his long slender finger through his hair. Seriously this is ridiculous. I roll over off of my bed and look at Jade, still sleeping peacefully, as if the sound of Emmett's obnoxious singing is lulling her like a lullaby, rather than disturbing her slumber. I walk steadily to the kitchen, my head pounding harder with every step that I take.

" If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, make it last forever friendship never ends," Emmett loudly sings while stirring a bowl of batter. He turns around and looks at me a broad smile crossing his face.

" Morning half-pint," He says, setting the bowl down crossing over to me. He wraps me in such a huge hug that at first I am so shocked I don't hug back. Finally I hug back and he releases me.

" How is it possible that you have so much energy this early in the morning?" I ask, trying to stifle a yawn. I reach up to open the cabinet that holds the coffee mugs.

" Sex. Plain and simple. It's the best energy booster," he answers, closing his eyes and smiles as if is remembering the actual act.

" I shouldn't have asked," I mumble, pouring coffee into my mug.

" Aww, come on half-pint, are you trying to tell me that you have an aversion to sex?" he asks, looking somewhat shocked by my reaction. I blush slightly before I turn to glare at him.

" It's kind of hard to have an aversion to something I have never done," I say, instantly regretting the fact that I opened my mouth. Emmett stands in front of me as his jaw drops.

" You mean you have never, not even once,?" he asks, suddenly becoming more interested in my sex life, more like my lack of one.

" Yes that is what I am telling you," I say, sliding onto the counter to dangle my feet. It grows silent for a moment, before Emmett just bursts out into yet another song.

"Lets talk about sex baby, lets talk about you and me, lets talk about all the good things, and the bad things, that may be, lets talk about sex," he sings, holding his mixing spoon like a microphone. I roll my eyes. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Its bad enough feeling like I am the only twenty year old virgin left in the world without Emmett making things even more embarrassing for me.

" What are you singing about so damn early Emmett?" Rosalie's sleepy voice comes from the door way.

" Oh well at first I was singing spice girls, because come on lets all face it everyone had a crush on one of them at one point or another. Mine was Baby Spice by the way, and then half-pint here asked me how I could possibly this energized, and I told her. Sex. Because sex can energize and man on his death bed. But because Ana is a virgin she wouldn't understand," he says, easily, as if this is typical conversation. Rosalie's eyes widen as she looks over at me.

" Really, not once?" she asks, looking as astonished as Emmett did.

" Really," I say, sipping at my coffee.

" How is that even possible?" she asks, sitting across from.

" I don't know, I just haven't. Its not necessarily at the top of my priority list," I say, sincerely hoping that no one else comes into this totally random and embarrassing conversation. Of course all hopes of no one else coming into this fiasco were dashed when both Edward and Jade stumble sleepily into the kitchen.

" She cant be serious, come on Jade, she is your best friend, she is no virgin," Rosalie says, laughing as she eats her pancakes. Jade laughs along, while shaking her head.

" Yes, yes she is. Not that she hasn't had the chance to change that," Jade says, looking over at me. " Remember James, Mr. Romeo himself?"

" Oh God, please Jade, don't," I say, pleading in my mind that she just wont say anything.

" Oh come on, now we have to know," Emmett says, placing his hands under his chin like a child excited about a story.

" Okay so James, was the new boy in school. Seriously cute, like oh my God cute. And he took an immediate liking to Ana. So they started dating, and he would do the sweetest things, like bringing flowers to her, and love poems, and reciting her favorite passages from Romeo and Juliet. So six months into the relationship, she decides its time. She is going to give him her v-card. Well he sets the stage beautifully. Rose petals, great dinner, beautiful music. And five minutes into them getting hot and heavy he, well he erm," Jade leans over and whispers the rest of the story to her. Rosalie chokes on her juice and as she laughs until tears are streaming down her face.

" He did not," she chokes out through her laughter. I can feel the blood rushing to my face.

" Oh yes, he did," I say, starting to laugh along with them.

" What did he do come on you guys, what did he do?" Emmett asks, trying to figure out what was so funny. So Rosalie leans over and whispers in Emmett's ear, who in turn laughs just as hysterically, and in turn he whispers it to Edward. Soon the sound of insane laughter echoes off the walls.

" What's so funny," a thoroughly confused Jasper asks from the door way and the laughter dies. Like someone put the mute on. Not a word more was said. Instead Edward gets up and walks from the room, and Emmett and Rosalie exchange uneasy looks.

" Well thank you Ana, for the entertainment this morning, Emmett and I are going to, well we are just going," Rosalie says, pulling Emmett from the room.

" Aww but Rose, I want to see what's going to happen," Emmett says, standing perfectly still as Rosalie tries pulling him with all of her might.

" Yeah Rose, you guys don't have to leave just on my account," Jasper says, sitting down across from me.

" Oh but dear brother of mine, I think you would really like me to leave, because if I don't I will smack you from here to next Sunday. How could you do that to Ana, and over Alice? I'm sorry Emmett no disrespect, its just that Alice made her mind up a long time ago Jasper, you need to let that go," Rose says, looking angry.

" I know that Rosalie, you think I don't know," Jasper starts but I interrupt him.

" Listen I appreciate you guys sticking up for me this way, but really it isn't necessary," my voice is lost though, in the middle of Jasper and Rosalie yelling at each other.

" Shut up, shut up, just SHUT UP!" I yell finally, staring at the shocked faces of Jasper and Rosalie. " Listen Rosalie, I love you for sticking up for me this way really, I do, but it isn't necessary. I can take care of myself, and how in the hell did you guys know what happened?" I ask. There is silence. No one speaks, it looks as if they are afraid to breathe. " You know what never mind I don't want to know. I'm going, I just I have to get out of here." I rush upstairs to my room and slam the door behind me feeling totally and utterly angry. I hastily throw my hair into a ponytail and change into my favorite pair of gray jogging pant and my tennis shoes. I grab my I-pod quickly and I'm just about to turn it on full blast when there is a soft tapping at my door.

" What?" I ask, my voice coming out harsh. The door peaks open revealing Jasper, looking like a lost child.

" Can we talk?" he asks, and a part of me is screaming out telling me to just listen to whatever he has to say, and the angry side of me is telling me to just slam the door in his face. So I go with neutral ground.

" Not right now we cant," I say, pushing past him, and out of the front door, my eye pod screaming loudly in my ears " I'm running away, I'm leaving this place."

I sit staring out at the trees surrounding me, waiting for the moment when I will know what I am going to do. Part of me is wishing that I had never come to Washington. That I had never left the comfort of California, the heat, the desert, the familiarity. And the other part of me knows that if I would have stayed I would have never met him. Even now when my heart breaks over what I know will never be I cant imagine not being near him. 'Would you listen to yourself Ana, you are talking like you are in love with him,' I think to myself. Love at first sight, its so over rated. I scroll through my I-pod looking for something to lift my spirits. A shadow catches my attention, so I lift my head to see Edward sitting down next to me.

" Hi," he says simply.

" Hi," I echo back. Silence descends, but unlike the awkward silences that fall between Jasper and I it's a comforting one.

" I'm sorry about what Jasper did Ana," he says, looking at me with sympathy in his eyes.

" Edward you don't have to apologize," I say, pulling my head phones off.

" I know that I don't have to apologize. Listen there is something you need to know about Jasper, okay, he is so sorry for what he did," he says, staring at me. " You don't know how much he is beating himself up for it, he wishes that he could take it all back."

" Listen Edward, this is nice to hear and all, but I am not even mad anymore. I wish people would just drop the whole thing. I am over it," I say, which is true. I am not mad at him anymore for what he did. I'm just heartbroken that he doesn't want me.

" Then why are you angry?" he asks, pushing me to talk to him.

" I'm not angry, I am just, sad. It's no surprise that I have a crush on Jasper. Everyone in the house knows how I feel, even Jasper does now, but he made it more than clear that he doesn't feel the same way," I say, blinking back the tears that started threatening to spill over.

" Did he tell you that?" he asks, laying back in the grass staring at the clouds. I think about that for a moment and though in truth he didn't say he didn't feel the same way, but he didn't say anything.

" No, but his silence told me everything that I needed to hear," I say, laying back also staring at the dark ominous clouds hanging over my head.

" Well I am sure that if you were to just talk to him Ana, you guys could work through all of this," he says, looking over at me smiling.

" Yeah, maybe. Thanks Edward, for talking to me," I say, watching as he stands up. He reaches his hand out to me and helps me to my feet.

" Anytime. Your like another little sister to me Ana, so I mean it when I say, anytime," he says, and with that we walk silently back to the house.

I walk in the house and find it eerily quiet. No Emmett singing, or television playing. A note lays on the counter that reads, 'Emmett, Jade, and I have gone out. We will be back later, remember Edward tonight is the party Love, Rose.' The party? I think to myself. I walk up stairs and into my room where a long white box with a red bow wrapped around it sits on my bed. I feel my forehead crinkle in confusion as I look at it. I grab the card attached to it and open it. " Ana, you are going to need this for the party, hope you like it. Oh who am I kidding I know you will love it. Kisses, Rosalie." What is this party that I keep hearing about. Curiosity gets the best of me and I finally decide to open it. I pull on the ribbon and pull off the top, pushing the tissue paper back, and I gasp lightly to myself. On top of the dress is an invitation that says that I have been formally invited to the third annual Hale/Cullen Cocktail Party. I set down the invitation and pull out the long teal dress. 'Oh Rosalie,' I whisper to myself. 'This should be fun.'


	8. Chapter 8: Im Not A Princess

Chapter 8: I'm Not A Princess, This Aint A Fairy Tale

" Ana, will you hold still please," Rosalie asks, strained patience ringing through her voice. I stop fidgeting immediately feeling like a chastised child. She has been helping me pin my hair up for the last hour, and I am growing restless.

" Sorry Rose, I'm just nervous. The most formal thing I have been to was prom, and that wasn't actually all that formal," I say, watching Rosalie concentrate hard on what she was doing. A small smile graces her face.

" You shouldn't be nervous. It's not a huge deal, just a few friends and such, besides it's a good excuse as any to get all dressed," she says, sliding in the final pin into my hair. I smile. I have to admit, I love the idea of getting dressed up. The make up, the dresses. It all has a fairy tale feel to it.

" I know. I will pay you back for the dress too Rose, I cant accept a gift like that, its too much," I say, smiling at my finished hair. A look of pain crosses her face.

" No you wont. I wont take a penny from you. It's a gift," she says, and her voice assures me that she doesn't expect anything in return.

" Okay, but I just feel kind of bad," I say, examining my face in the mirror trying to decide if I need to add more eyeliner.

" Don't feel bad Rosalie, Ana has a hard time accepting gifts from anyone," Jade says, walking into the bathroom. She looks absolutely stunning in her knee length, black silk dress. Her hair curled in ringlets and pulled half up leaving some of the tendrils to fall around her face softly. I blush at the honesty of her statement. I hate when people buy me things, it makes me feel, awkward.

" Okay well I need to go put my dress on," I say, walking out of the bathroom leaving Jade and Rosalie to talk and primp on their own. I slide into my long teal blue dress careful to not mess my hair up. I struggle with the zipper and I cant get it on my own. I open the bedroom door looking to see if someone is around to help me.

" Hey Jade, can you zip me up?" I ask, turning around for her. She zips me up quickly when the sound of the doorbell makes us both jump.

" looks like the party is about to start," Jade says, heading for the stairs. We weren't allowed downstairs since Rosalie, Emmett, and Jade got back from their little outing.

" I will see you down there," I call behind her, walking carefully back into our room. I slip on my heels and turn to look in the full length mirror. I am stunned slightly by my appearance. My blonde hair pinned up in complicated twists and curls. My make-up absolutely perfect. My stomach filled with a million butterflies. I press a hand to my racing heart and decide that I might as well get it over with.

I walk down the stairs following the sound of music softly playing, and the murmur of voices. I stop about half way down the stairs utterly captivated by the transformation that the house had taken. Rosalie was a genius. Dozens of candles flickered and twisted twinkling lights stretched before me. The smell of roses and star gazer lilies waft towards me as if beckoning me to step from reality to fairy tale. I realize that it has grown suddenly quiet, so I look up and see the small group of people staring at me. I blush slightly as I step down the stairs and walk towards where Jade and Edward are standing.

" This is phenomenal, I have never seen anything like it," I say, accepting the glass that Edward holds out to me. Edward smiles slightly.

" I have known Rosalie most of my life and if there is one thing I know about her its that she is anything if not thorough. She lives for setting up parties like this," he says, slipping a hand into his pant pockets. I smile as I sip my drink and listen to the conversation that he and Jade are having about her pre-med major. Rosalie all but glides towards me with an older couple following close behind and I cant help but notice the amazing family resemblance.

" Ana, I would like you to meet me and Jasper's mother and father, Matthew and Veronica Hale. Mom, Dad, this is Ana," she says, and I politely extend my hand to them.

" Its so nice to meet you dear, Rosalie has told me so much about you," Veronica say, taking my hand warmly in hers. I am caught slightly of guard by this.

" Oh has she?" I ask, looking at Rosalie quickly. A part of me can't help but to feel slightly nervous. 'Did she tell them that I am the girl that has the ridiculous school girl crush on their son' I wonder to myself.

" Yes, she told me you have a wonderful head for music. I would love to speak to you about a job opening. Please, will you walk with me?" she asks, walking with my hand still caught in hers towards the back room where only a few people stand, including a D.J who is still setting up. " Tell me Ana, have you thought much about what kind of job you want while you are here?"

" Not really, to be perfectly honest I just thought that I would end up doing some sort of waitress job to meet my needs," I say, wondering where this conversation is going. Its quiet for a moment.

" Well I have a side project, that I have to admit I haven't been able to pay much attention to. I own a small recording studio and record label, and I need someone who will be able to come in and do some secretarial work as well as scouting for talent. So what do you say?" she asks, looking at me a smile on her youthful face. I am stunned silent. I shake my head slightly.

" Oh wow, I am honored I am, but I don't know how much help I will be to you. I mean I don't have training in this sort of thing,' I say, and her quick laugh stops my ability to talk.

" Ana, let me ask you a question, why do you love music so much?" she asks, searching my face for her answer.

" That's easy. Music has always been my way to express myself. I have always found it amazing how one song can play and it can make everything seem okay again. Or how when I have no words to express myself there is always a song that can explain the way I feel. That and with music there is always hope," I say, realizing that I started rambling.

" Then you are perfect for the job. No amount of training can give a person the passion you have for music," she says, running a hand tenderly down my arm. " How about we set up a time for you to come by Monday at around lets say, noon, to see the office and we can talk over this some more, it seems that the guests have all arrived and the party is about to start." I look around and realize that the house has indeed filled up quickly.

" Okay Monday then," I say, she smiles warmly before hugging me sweetly and walking away, leaving me to feel like I have just been hit by a truck.

" You will have to excuse my mother, she can be quite over whelming when she is trying to get her way," a voice says from behind, and I don't even have to turn around to know who it is.

" Yes well, I appreciate the offer and her faith in me to do a good job," I say, turning to face Jasper. Beautiful. The one word to describe him. The black suit fits him perfectly. His usually naturally messy hair slicked back.

" You look nice Jasper," I say, forcing a small smile to cross my lips. He studies me for a moment, until a smile lights up his eyes.

" You look amazing. So beautiful Ana," he says, taking a step towards me. I catch my breathe trying to figure out what he is doing. He steps towards me again, until he is standing right in front of me.

" Will you dance with me?" he asks, wrapping his arm around my waist before I can answer. He lays his hand on the small of my back while taking my hand in his. The music is soft, as he twirls me around the dance floor, and I get lost looking in his eyes, shining brightly in the flickering candle light. I can feel myself slipping off the careful ledge I have myself placed on, slipping and falling head first in love with him

**JADE'S POV**

I have been standing here for the last twenty minutes already wishing that I could take off these ridiculous high heels, and change into a pair of jeans. I lazily swirl my glass of champagne, watching the bubbles intensely. I wonder if anyone would notice if I were to slip out and hide away upstairs for the night,' I think to myself.

" Not thinking of sneaking away are you?" Edward's voice comes from behind me, his breathe blowing sweetly across my neck. I smile widely before turning around.

" You read my mind," I say, looking up at him. His smile falters a bit and he probably thinks I didn't catch that.

" No, you just don't come across as the type of girl that goes for all of this," he says, leaning against the wall lazily.

" Oh really, and what kind of girl do I come across as?" I ask, smiling sweetly.

" The kind of girl that would rather be wearing her favorite pair of jeans with a beer in her hand and loud music playing in the background," he says, leaning towards me.

" For someone who seems so elusive, you have the incredible at reading people," I say, setting my champagne glass down on the counter. He shrugs his shoulder at that, and grows contemplatively quite.

" I wonder what Rosalie's mom wanted to talk to Ana about, " I say, grasping at anything to say just to make small talk.

" She is offering her a job at her recording studio," he answers easily. I blink at that, genuinely surprised. Knowing Ana, she will take the job. Always the over achiever. She will take on a double-major and a full time job without breaking a sweat, at least she will do it in such a way to make it look effortless.

" Wow, that's awesome," I say, secretly envious at the thought of her having a job and me jobless. I have always been independent. I had to be. I didn't have parents to care. I mean my mom was there but she was more wrapped up in my step-dad than me to even notice I was there. She did her part though, securing a college fund so that I could pay for my first year of pre-med without worrying about books and the dreaded student loans, but everything else I have to do on my own. A soft tapping on my shoulder grabs my attention and I turn my head to see who it is.

" Hello, Jade isn't it?" Matthew, Rosalie's father asks.

" Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you," I say, extending my hand to shake his.

" Same here. Could I have a word with you, this will only take a moment Edward," he says easily, taking me through the kitchen to the foyer where no one is gathered. " I couldn't help but to over hear that you are pre-med."

" Oh yeah, I am," I say, confused by the direction that this conversation is taking.

" Well see, Rosalie was expressing to me how even though you have your first year paid through you don't have much to sustain you as far as money goes. I know what its like to be in college. Living from pay check to pay check. Praying you will be able to make what little you have stretch. Anyways, listen to me ramble. To the point. I am the head of a research lab, and we have just recently come up short handed. Now at first you will mostly just be there to take notes for me or the other lab workers, but I am sure if you are as smart and good as Rose says you are, you will be doing medical research of your own within a few months," he says, smiling a broad smile that causes his eyes to crinkle slightly. I stand in stunned silence for a moment before I can finally speak.

" Thank you so much for the offer. I promise I will take whatever job I can get my hands on," I say, shaking his hand happily before he excuses himself to go speak with Emmett. I watch the party progress from where I am standing for a few moments when I see Jasper coming down the stairs. 'Bastard," is my initial thought. 'Has Ana all sorts of messed up and for what?' He stops at the bottom of the steps in front of me, his hand slipping into his pocket.

" You look wonderful Jade, tell me have you seen Ana?" he asks, looking over my shoulder in search for her.

" Yes," I answer simply, looking at him disapprovingly.

" You don't like me much do you Jade?" he asks, reaching his hand up to adjust his tie. I stare at him for a moment.

" I don't know you Jasper. But I can tell you that no, I don't like you much as of this moment. You hurt my best friend, so in a way you hurt me, and I don't take kindly to people hurting me," I answer, making sure that every word I say comes across clear.

" I never meant to hurt her Jade, and if I could take back what happened, I would, but seeing as how I don't have the power of time travel, I cant do anything about it now, but try and make up for it," he says, apparent sincerity written all over his face.

" Well I wont stand in your way. She is in the back room, where the dance floor is set up," I say, moving out of the way so that he can walk past me. " Oh and Jasper." He turns back to look at me. " She's my best friend, break her heart again, and I will break your pretty face," I say, a smug smile forming on my lips. He simply nods his head in complete understanding. I watch him walk to the back room where my best friend stands, knowing in my head that she is going to end up falling head first in love with him if she isn't careful.

" You worry about her," Edwards voice comes from behind me, causing me to turn around pressing my hand to my quickly beating heart.

" Of course I do. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and she has had it broken one too many times," I say, snaking his champagne glass from his hands swallowing it in one quick drink.

" You amaze me Jade," he says, taking the empty glass from my hands. " Come with me," he says, holding a hand out to me. I hesitantly take it, feeling nervous. I never feel nervous. How can he make me nervous? The last guy to make me nervous was good smelling guy in creative writing junior year. His hand is warm in mine, and I walk with him as he leads me through the front door into the clear cool night air.

**Ana's POV**

I lost track of how many songs we have danced through, lost in thought, lost in Jasper. It isn't until he pulls me into him so that my head is resting on his chest that I realize that the dance floor has grown crowded. I look up at Jasper to see his eyes closed, like he is lost in the music. Like he is just as lost in this stolen fairy tale moment as I am. His eyes open slowly and he smiles down at me. I tilt my head up at the same time he tilts his head down our lips a breathe away from each others, when his body stiffens. He lifts his eyes to the door way and I follow his gaze to see a familiar cap of short brown hair standing watching us in our moment. Alice. He pulls away from me and takes a step back. In that one moment my fairy tale moment came to an end. Something passes between them and I cant place it. It seems almost intimate. My heart thuds heavily in my chest as I realize that all of the excuses he gave me just the night before were lies. He still loved her, it's written all over his face, it screams at me so loudly I fight the urge to cover my ears. I can feel my breathe quicken as I try and think of the best way to make my escape.

" Thank you for the dances Ana," Jasper says, his voice stiff and formal. I stare at him, in stunned disbelief.

" That's it? Thank you for the dances? Really? Are you going to stand there and tell me you didn't feel what I felt?" I ask, tears threatening to fall down my face. He stares at me, guilt slowly creeping into his face. He steps towards me, trying to close the growing gap between us.

" Ana, I" he starts, and I just shake my head.

" No, its my fault. No actually its yours. It is more than clear that you are still in love with her no matter what you say or how you try and lie about it. What my fault is that I believed I had a chance," I say, unaware, or at least not aware enough to care that the music has dies and people are watching us. I brush by Alice who is standing in shocked silence like everyone else with Mike.

" Ana wait," she says, her footsteps following me through the kitchen and the front door. I keep walking as quickly as I can without tripping over the length of my dress. A hard thing to do for a girl as clumsy as I am, and the heels don't help any. I round the first corner to find Jade and Edward wrapped in each other sharing an obviously intimate moment. I stop in my tracks caught off guard by what I see, and then it happens. All at once a ripping sensation inside my chest, and I begin crying, making a total and utter fool of myself. Jade and Edward pull away from each quickly, concerned looks on both of their faces.

" Ana, what is it?" Jade asks, stepping forward. I step back shaking my head.

" I made a huge mistake Jade, I should have never come here," I say, walking away, leaving a stunned silence behind me.


	9. Chapter 9: It's All Right Ma

Chapter 9: It's All Right Ma, I'm Only Bleeding

Alice is anything if not persistent. She has followed me down every block, even kindly picking up the heels that I left a few blocks back.

" Ana, will you please stop and talk to me," Her voice pleads from behind me. I stop, the cold air blowing against my skin. Chills run all over my body as I turn to look at her through tear blurred eyes. I stare at her for a moment and realize that even if things hadn't ended badly between her and Jasper, I would have never had a chance, her beauty is that staggering. She walks towards me, her eyes filled with undeniable concern.

" Do you know that he still loves you?" I ask, tears rolling slowly down my face. She looks at me as if I am speaking another language.

" I should have seen this coming," she says, and I look at her confused.

" What are you psychic? Can you see the future or something?" I ask, and a look crosses her face like I have been let in on some huge secret, but she composes herself quickly.

" No, its just I saw the way you looked at him the other night in the bar when we were all dancing. You may think he still loves me Ana, and maybe a small part of him does, but that's just because we were each others firsts on so many levels," she says, stepping closer. I sigh heavily as I drop to the curb. She sits next to me. Its quiet for awhile, both of us lost in our thoughts.

" It doesn't matter, because he isn't over you Alice, and until he is he will never be able to give himself to someone else," I finally say after a long silence.

" You don't know him Ana," she says, and I roll my eyes at that.

" Your right, and I don't think I want to know him. I should have never come here. I'm leaving, as soon as I can," I whisper, tears choking my voice.

" You cant do that," she says, her voice suddenly urgent.

" Why not? I don't belong here Alice, I don't belong in his life, nor am I wanted," I say, knuckling the tears from my face.

" You cant run away from your problems Ana, it only makes them worse," she says, almost in a commanding voice. Immediately my defenses raise.

" Who are you to tell me anything, you don't know me," I say, suddenly angry at her.

" Your right Ana, I don't, but I would like to get to know you, just like everyone else does. It isn't just by chance that we all came together Ana, things happen for a reason," she says, her voice filled with emotion. I close my eyes, knowing that what she says is true. " Look, I cant give you all of the answers, and I cant promise you that what you feel for Jasper will turn into anything, but what I can promise you is that the friendships you can make with Rose, Em, Edward, Jasper, and Me, are one's that will never end."

" Someone should have told me growing up would suck so much," I say, laughing slightly.

" Yeah, what happened to the good old days right? When Barbie dolls were our main concern," she asks, and I laugh a little more at that.

" Yes those were easier days, when the men in our life were small, plastic, and quiet," I say, feeling somewhat uplifted. The roar of an engine catches my attention and the bright lights of a truck washes over us.

" That would be Mike, and his Titan-Of-Death," she says, standing up, offering her hand to me yet again. This is the second time in two nights that she has offered her hand to me after a humiliating experience. I take it and realize that I feel a kinship to her, though she is the one person inadvertently standing between me and Jasper. Mike rolls down the window to his truck and with the fakest and thickest southern accent I have ever heard in my life asks, "Can I offer you little ladies a lift?" Alice giggle's foolishly at this as she opens the door and elegantly hops up into the truck. I lift the bottom of my dress and climb in behind her. It's a quick and quiet drive back home, and a drive I wish would last forever. I dread walking back into that house, facing everyone. Facing him. I shut my mind at that thought. We pull into the driveway and I can see no one waiting outside for our arrival. I hop out and walk slowly to the front door, leaving Alice and Mike to talk in the car. I open the door after a few deep breathes and realize that the party is still going in full swing in the back room. I slip quietly up the stairs and walk down the hall, the light shining under Jasper's door catching my eye. I stop suddenly debating on whether or not to slip back downstairs and hiding out in Edwards room until its over. I dismiss that immediately thinking that there is a good chance that Jade and Edward would be using his room for far more entertaining reasons than what I would be using it for. I walk closer down the hall, when I can hear voices in the room. I cant help but stop to listen.

" I warned you Jasper, that if you were to hurt her again I would break your face," Jade's voice rings through clearly.

" Jade calm down," Edward says, easily.

" I will not calm down, he knew what he was doing from the first moment that he set his eyes on her and decided to use her in this stupid game he is playing and it isn't fair, and you guys may not give a damn about her, but she is all I have and I wont stand by and let him hurt her over and over again," her voice is angry. Oh boy she is pissed.

" Who says we don't care about her? Do you realize that in a weeks time both you and her have become not only friends, but family to us?" Edwards equally annoyed voice rings through.

" Maybe you do, and Rose, and Em, but him, he doesn't care about anyone but himself, and everyone knows it even if they wont admit it," she says, and I cringe. I wait breathless to see if Jasper will say anything. My heart beats sluggishly and heavily in my chest.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Nothing. He doesn't speak a word, not in his own defense, not to deny Jade's accusations. The door opens quickly, bathing me in light. Jade and Edward stare at me, standing with my shoes clutched to my heart. Jasper standing behind them, a blank look on his face. I can feel the tears, and I curse the fact that I am easily one of the most emotional people on this earth. Jade walks to me wrapping an arm around me protectively, moving me down the hall towards our room.

" Ana," Jasper says, and I look over my shoulder to look at him, tears clouding my vision as I shake my head and close the bedroom door behind me.

I sit on the window seat staring out at the endless night. Jade hasn't said two words to me since we shut ourselves away in the room. I changed quietly leaving my dress pooled on the floor, I all but tore the pins out of my hair letting it fall where it may. I pull my knees to my chest, resting my head on my knees inhaling the scent from the sweatshirt I am wearing. My mother's sweater, that I snaked from her closet before leaving. It smells like her, like home. It comforts me, slightly.

" You want to talk about it?" Jade asks, easing herself in to sit across from me. I don't answer her right away, sure that whatever I might I say, will come out sounding ridiculous.

" You remember in Cinderella, that moment where she is dancing with Prince Charming, and even though they are surrounded by hundreds of people, it seems as if they are the only two people in the world? That's what it was like. That's how I felt when I was dancing with him, Jade. Like even though we were surrounded by so many people, him and I were the only two people in the world," I say, my voice shaking slightly. " It was like something passed between us. A connection, it was almost electric. I know he felt it to. There was a moment where he had his eyes closed, and they slid open as if he was waking from a peaceful dream, and he looked at me. Something in his eyes said he felt it too, and our lips were a breathe away from each others, and then he just pulled away. Dropped me like a hot potato," say, and Jade lets out an unexpected laugh. I glare at her, not understanding what she can possibly find so funny.

" I'm sorry, its just, you understand that you just referred to yourself as a potato," she says, breaking off smothering her laughter. I chuckle lightly.

" At least I referred to myself as a HOT potato," I say, laughing, suddenly hysterical. The laughter dies quickly.

" So then what happened?" she asks, tucking her dark hair behind her ear.

" Alice. He looked over my shoulder and saw Alice, and then proceeded to thank me for the dances as if the moment I know that we both felt wasn't real," I say, a single tear falling down my face.

" Douche," she says simply making me smile through the pain.

" I think, uhm, I think maybe once I have some money saved up from this new job I got that I am going to find a place of my own," I say nervously, knowing that Jade is going to blow her top.

" What the hell are you talking about? First of all you aren't going to let Jasper run you out of here, you are better than that. Second of all, if you move I move too," she says, getting to her feet to pace madly around the room.

" I can't expect you to move when there is something going on between you and Edward. I cant stay here Jade, I went off the deep end the minute Jasper walked into the room, and it would be nothing but torture if I were to stay here, living here, knowing that he is right across the hall," I say, looking at her.

" There is nothing going on between me and Edward," she says, a slight blush creeping across her face.

" Don't lie to me Jade," I say, turning so that my legs dangle over the edge of the seat. " I know what I saw." She stops pacing and stares at me, a guilty smile crossing her face before she comes over and sits next to me. We sit in silence for a minute, the only sound to be heard is the ticking of the clock.

" What is, or isn't happening between me and Edward isn't important Ana. You cant move out. You're my best friend. The cheese to my macaroni, peanut butter to my jelly, do I need to go on?" she asks, her voice growing increasingly panicked.

" Jade its okay slow down. I wont move out okay," I say, putting an arm around her shoulder. It takes a lot to get Jade worked up, and I hate seeing her upset. " So details my friend, what exactly is going on with you and Edward," I ask, changing the subject hoping to lighten the mood.

" Well, I might as well tell you," she says, and I laugh wildly knowing that this is going to be good.

**JADE'S POV **

_Two hours earlier._

I let Edward lead me through the front door, and smile at the cool night air. I shiver slightly, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. Edward takes notice of my light shivering and he turns to look at me.

" I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I forget that you are from California and not used to this cold weather," he says, slipping his jacket off smoothly.

" Its okay, I don't need your jacket, don't want you to get cold too," I say, backing away slightly as he moves towards me to wrap me in his jacket. 'Please, oh, please ignore what I just said and let me wear your Jacket,' I think to myself. He smiles lightly as he proceeds to warp his jacket around my shoulders. I slip my arms into the sleeves and revel at the warmth.

" It suits you, and not only that but my mother would have my head if I didn't do the courteous thing and offer you my jacket in this weather," he says, taking my hand in his once again walking around the first corner, into the shadows.

" Oh well we wouldn't want that," I say, leaning against his car as he leans against the garage door. Its quiet for a moment.

" I have to tell you something Jade. The other night I watched you when you took care of Ana, and you captivated me," he says, taking a step towards me. I can feel the blush creeping up my neck as he stops right in front of me.

" How so?" I ask, trembling slightly at having him looking at me like he can see into my soul.

" The passion you have for fixing people is incredible. At first I thought that it was just because she is your best friend, but it was so much more than that, I can see you now. In a white lab coat, which by the way would look, incredibly sexy on you," he says, brushing a piece of my dark hair behind my ear. " And I can see you making a real difference, fixing people, saving their lives." I lose my train of thought, as I get lost in his eyes. Those big, gorgeous eyes.

" Tha-thank you," I stutter out lamely. He smirks slightly leaning in so that his lips are right by my ear.

" Do I make you nervous Jade?" he asks in a hushed voice. I shudder lightly.

" Yes," I answer back, and he presses his cheek to mine, sliding back so that his lips meet mine. My body explodes, from inside out. A shockwave races through my body, leaving every nerve ending in my body singed. He cups his hand behind my neck pulling me deeper into his kiss and I react involuntarily, my hand snaking up to feel his muscular shoulders before they dive into his hair. I wont lie and say that I have never kissed like this before, with such ferocity and pure animalistic need, but never before has a kiss so thoroughly intoxicated me. A small gasp makes me fall back into reality. I pull myself from Edward's kiss, his hands still tight on my waist. I turn my head to see Ana standing, staring at us. Tears shine in her green eyes. The pain she is feeling is all but palpable to me. I step towards her, concerned by what I am seeing. My best friend. My best friend broken.

" Ana, what is it?" I ask, stepping towards her, wishing that I could just hug her and take away all of this pain that she is feeling. I stop slightly shocked by her stepping away from my outstretched hand.

" I made a huge mistake Jade, I should have never come here," she says, tears falling down her face as she turns and runs down the drive way her teal dress billowing behind her. I stand in stunned silence for a second thinking of how she looks like a fairy tale princess running to her love. I turn my head and see Alice, her face contorted with concern. I start walking down the drive way when Alice reaches me and grabs my arm. I steady myself carefully so that I don't do anything I might regret. Like punching her in her perfect pixie face.

" Jade, please let me," she says, rushing past me, leaving me to stand and debate whether I should follow behind them. Edwards arm wraps around my waist as if trying to hold me in this spot.

" What do you think that was about?" he asks, and only one thing comes to mind.

" Jasper," I snap out, shaking his arm off of me as I push past him and towards the front door. I open the door and look around to see that Rosalie and Emmett have managed to get the party back in swing, I start to slam the door but Edward's hand catches it easily. I walk as calmly as I can through the party, walking through the kitchen to the back room where I see Emmett and Rosalie standing talking to the D.J. I walk past the people waiting for the music to start, fixing a small polite smile on my face.

" Where is he?" I ask Emmett when I am standing close enough for him to hear me whispering.

"Oh hey Jade," he says, obviously dodging the question. I look at him firmly.

" Where is he Emmett?" I ask again, a little more commanding this time. His smile falters slightly.

" He is in Edward's room, where our parents are talking to him," Rosalie says, moving to stand next to Emmett. She doesn't look angry, just protective. I cant blame her. I am protective of Ana, and besides it wasn't her choice to have an ass for a brother.

" Then I will just wait for him," I say, walking away avoiding the imminent fight that would happen between her and me, if I were to stay there. I walk back into the now empty kitchen pacing madly back and forth, stopping every once in a while to steady myself on the counter.

" Relax," Edwards voice says soothingly from the door way. I glare at him.

" Oh I will relax when I am done breaking that pretty face of Jasper's," I say, balling my hands into fists until my knuckles turn white. He chuckles lightly.

" Well here's your chance he says," and as if on cue Jasper walks into the kitchen his tie loosened around his neck, his slicked back hair messed from running his fingers through it. He lifts his eyes and stares at me.

" You, me, your room. NOW," I say, and he simply nods his head as he walks towards the stairs. I follow him angrily up the stairs unaware that Edward is following us. He walks into his room and I follow him, Edward quietly closing the door behind us. Jasper sits warily on the edge of his bed. I take a deep breathe trying to let the voice of reason to guide me. Screw the voice of reason.

" What the hell did you do to her?" I ask, trying hard to fight the urge to smack him. He doesn't say anything. The silence sets in. Its maddening. I cant take it anymore.

" I warned you Jasper, that if you were to hurt her again, that I would break your face," I say, venom drips through every word. If words and looks could kill, Jasper would be as dead as the hot pants trend. He just looks up at me, his eyes hollow, as if he cant see.

" Calm down Jade," Edward says softly from behind me, placing a hand on my arm softly. I shake his hand off turning to look at him.

" I will not calm down. He knew what he was doing from the first moment that he set his eyes on her and decided to use her in this stupid game he is playing and it isn't fair, and you guys may not give a damn about her, but she is all I have and I wont stand by and let him hurt her over and over again," I say, anger not being the only thing I am feeling. I feel her pain. I replay it over and over again in my head, the look on her face. The total and utter defeat that rolled off of her. I could collapse from the pain I know that she is feeling. Edwards annoyed voice pulls me from my thoughts.

" Who says we don't care about her? Do you realize that in a weeks time both you and her have become not only friends, but family to us?" he asks, his voice cuts through me like razor blades.

" Maybe you do, and Rose, and Em, but him, he doesn't care about anyone but himself, and everyone knows it even if they wont say it," I say, anger bubbling out and over. I stand there in the silence, waiting and watching. He never once defends himself. Never makes a statement he just stairs over my shoulder, his eyes empty as if they were dead. I give up on getting an explanation from him, and pull open the bedroom door, to find Ana standing in the hallway. Her shoes clutched to her chest, her eyes big and shining from the tears threatening to spill over. She looks so lost, like a child in search for her parents. I step towards her wrapping my arm around her shoulder leading her to our room.

" Ana," Jasper's voice rings through the silence. Her body stiffens as she turns to look at him and shakes her head letting me lead her into our room, our own little sanctuary.


	10. Chapter 10: Ink Me Baby

Chapter 10: Ink Me Baby

My I-pod blares loudly at me as I sit at the kitchen table books open, papers scattered. I write slowly, over analyzing everything that I am writing. Writing has always been one of my favorite things to do, a close second to music. However having to write for a class has always made me more self-conscious. I groan loudly crumbling the paper in my hand tossing it to the floor. The pile has grown into a mini mountain over the last hour. I sigh dropping my head to rest on my open book. I start banging my head against it gently.

" Come on, this shouldn't be so hard," I say to myself out loud. Someone pulls my head phones from my ears, and I turn to see a beaming Emmett.

" Trying to learn through osmosis there, half-pint?" he asks, sitting next to me at the table.

" Ha, Ha, I wish it was that easy," I say, slipping a paper to mark my spot in the book before I close it.

" You know what you need? To do something completely out of character and spontaneous," he says, smiling deviously.

" Emmett, as much as I would love to blow off this work load, I cant. I have stuff do tomorrow, and I haven't even started making a dent in any of it," I say sadly, feeling rather sad that I cant join him in whatever crazy idea he was cooking up. I start opening my book again when he slams it shut.

" Nope. See, as your honorary big brother it is my job, no my obligation to assure that you are experiencing all the crazy fun times that life has to offer, therefore you are going to get up right now, go upstairs change and meet me down here in twenty minutes," he says, looking at me with the biggest goofiest grin I have ever seen. Its hard to not get caught up in his happiness, its infectious really. I start smiling but immediately my voice of reason speaks to me, telling me that I cant blow off my studies.

" I'm sorry Em, I would love to, but I really need to get this done," I say, sliding my book from under his hand. He frowns. Dramatically. And he gives me the puppy dog eyes making me want to laugh.

" You have made me sad. Now I am a sad panda," he says, hanging his head gloomily. '

" Aww Emmett," I say, standing up to get a bottle of water from the fridge. Next thing I know I am being flung over Emmett's shoulder. I squeal loudly trying to wiggle out of his grasp. He carries me out of the kitchen and up the stairs leaving my mountain of school work sitting in the kitchen. He boots open my bedroom door and drops me unceremoniously onto my bed.

" I tried the nice way Jade, and she just wouldn't listen to me, therefore I man handled her. This is your mission if you choose to accept it. Talk her into getting ready so she can go out and have some fun, this tape, or erm, I guess me, will self destruct in ten seconds," he says, walking backwards from the room and down the hall. Jade and I look at each other and start counting loudly.

" One, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight, nine, TEN!" we yell the numbers together, and sure enough a loud crashing and booming sound comes from down the hall. We drop to the floor laughing hysterically. Jade stands up suddenly throwing a pair of jeans and my baby pink sweater at me.

" Chop, chop woman get dressed, so much to do, so little time," she says, pulling a a sweater over her head.

I have learned something about Emmett. He is a crazy driver, and that is saying something considering I have maneuvered the freeways of California. However I don't mind it so much seeing as how I am sitting cross legged in the back seat of his insanely huge jeep with a bag of sour starbursts in my lap. The spoils of war. We just left an arcade, where I bet Emmett a bag of candy that I could beat him at air hockey. Surprisingly I won. Now he was being a sore loser, pouting behind the wheel. He even banished me to the back seat allowing Jade to steal shot gun. wasn't too bad though, because I was sitting next to Edward who was laughing right along with me.

" Emmett, what can I do to make you happy again?" I ask, leaning forward in my seat to wrap my arms around his neck from behind.

" Admit that you used your pretty face to distract me, and that is the only reason you won," he says, smirking at me.

" Fine, Emmett, I used my incredibly pretty face to distract you in order to win the game," I say, sitting back in my seat. He perks up immediately. Now I don't know if it was the starbursts or the Pepsi I was guzzling, but I was on a sugar high. We stop at a light and I start bouncing up and down.

" So what do we want to do next?" Edward asks, popping a yellow starburst into his mouth. I look out of the window and catch the sign for a Tattoo shop.

" Lets get a tattoo," I blurt out. Jade and Edward both choke on their starbursts while Emmett smiles wildly.

" All right, see I knew I liked her for a reason," Emmett says, getting over to turn at the light.

" Ana you can't be serious," Jade says, as we pile out of the jeep.

" Oh but I am, come on, when was the last time we did something really crazy?" I ask, walking into the tattoo shop. The guy behind the counter was cute. Probably in his early thirties tattoos and piercings.

" Hey guys what can I do for you?" I smile at him, a beaming smile.

" I want a tattoo," I say, leaning against the counter. He chuckles and says someone will be able to help us in a few minutes.

" So do you know what you are going to get?" Jade asks, looking at me as I look through the books.

" Remember what we talked about getting senior year?" I ask, and her eyes lighten at the memory. We wanted to get a tattoo symbolizing each other. At this time we were still talking about going to separate colleges. We came up with the idea of getting each other's favorite flowers on our hips. Jade's on my left, mine on her right so that when we stood by each other it would look like they were supposed to be connected. Because we are connected, and we have always stuck by each others side through the good and the bad. We wait patiently for someone to help us, laughing at the girly tattoos Emmett contemplates.

" I so want this pretty little butterfly right on my butt cheek," Emmett says, in a high pitched voice. I laugh uncontrollably when the man returns and asks what we wan. Jade and I start explaining it to him, and his eyes light up at the idea.

" Okay, so let me just find a picture of the flowers and I will get them drawn out, it will be like an hour, is that okay?" he asks, looking at us.

" sure. We will be back in an hour," I say, linking my arms with Jades, walking out of the tattoo shop.

Forty five minutes into our hour wait I start coming down from my sugar high, having second thoughts of getting this tattoo done.

" I don't know about this anymore you guys," I say, staring at Jade from across the table we are sitting at.

" What do you mean you don't know about this?" she asks, looking at me, confusion lighting her eyes. " This was your idea."

" I know, but I was under the influence of sugar, and it's a needle," I say, shuddering at the idea.

" Well its too late now, he is already doing the work, and we gave him the deposit," she says, and I sigh.

" I know, I know," I say, checking my watch. " Well we might as well start heading back." We walk out of the small diner, and I walk as slowly as I can. I start falling behind purposely. I see Jade and Edward look back at me and roll their eyes, and Emmett walks back to me, grabbing my arm and dragging me with him.

" Come on half-pint. No turning back now," he says, pushing me through the door of the tattoo parlor. We walk in and take a seat waiting for the tattoo guy to come back out. He walks out five minutes later holding paper in his hands.

" Okay ladies, I just need you to fill this out and then we can get started," he says, " Who wants to go first." Jade and I exchange a look.

" I better go first, or I will chicken out," I say, filling the paper out and handing it to him.

" Okay, well here it is, take a look and let me know what you think," he says, showing me the drawing of the star gazer lily. Its beautiful, wonderfully detailed.

" I like it," I say, and he smiles.

" Okay, follow me," he says, and I start walking behind him, shooting a look over my shoulder.

" Wait cant someone come with me?" I ask, and he laughs loudly. " Yeah," he says, and I wave for Jade to come with. I walk into the room and look around.

" Okay so go ahead and lay down, un-button your pants, we will place it first and then you can take a look, then we will get started," he says, and I follow his instructions. My heart starts racing as he gets started on just placing the tattoo.

" Scared?" Jade asks, squeezing my hand lightly.

" Like you wouldn't believe," I say, trying to take a deep breathe.

" Okay, so go ahead and take a look in the mirror and let me know what you think," tattoo guy says, as I stand and look at it in the mirror. I like its placement, it's petals flirt with my pelvic bone and the petal on the furthest left stretched out further to my back so that Jade's tattoo could pick up right there. I lay back down after I tell him its good, and he is just about to start. I stop him just as he is about to place the needle to my skin.

" Wait, what's your name?" I ask, realizing that I was about to let someone whose name I didn't know tattoo me.

" Its Curtis," he says, nudging me to lay back down.

" Okay, Curtis, Ink me baby," I say, closing my eyes I grab Jade's hand and let him start his work. For a tattoo virgin I think I did pretty good. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would, and Curtis was good at making small talk to take my mind off of what little pain I actually felt. For the most part however he talked and my mind wandered. Thinking about what my mom would say when she found out. Or what Rosalie's reaction would be when she finds out that on our outing I had convinced Emmett I wanted a tattoo and not the other way around. What Jasper would think about it. Whoa, where did that come from? It seems that as much as I try to not think about him, he still finds his way into my thoughts, or my dreams. I tighten my closed eyes at this thought, letting only a small tear to escape. I'm not aware of the time that has passed, until Curtis' voice pulls me from my thoughts.

" All done, lets look at the finished product," he says, I slip off the table and look in the mirror. I love it. Emotions surges through me at the beauty of this stargazer lily. I look at Jade as she lays on the table for her turn. I hold her hand, making small talk with Curtis, counting down the minutes until he was done. We stand side by side in the mirror seeing how perfectly they fit together. My stargazer lily, her Water lily. A symbol of a friendship that would never die. That would never fade.

" Can I get a picture of this for my book?" Curtis asks, holding up a Polaroid camera.

" Sure," Jade and I answer together. We walk back to the waiting area where Edward and Emmett are staring at each other intensely.

" Hey ladies," Emmett says, unblinking.

" How did it go?" Edward asks, also unblinking. Jade and I caught on quickly knowing that they were in the middle of an intense staring contest.

" Oh it went fine, Ana cried a little so I had to kiss her to calm her down," Jade says, seriously. I knew she was biting her tongue so that she wouldn't laugh. Emmett turns his head first.

" Say what? And I wasn't back there to see this why?" he asks, while Edward pumps his hand in the air signaling his victory. I laugh hysterically, and walk out of the tattoo parlor with a feeling of accomplishment and happiness.

I'm standing in the kitchen stirring a simmering pot, laughing at the conversation going on around me. Me and my big mouth, I had to mention that I could cook on the drive home. Emmett begged and pleaded the whole way for me to cook spaghetti for dinner tonight. I gave in easily, Emmett is far too good at getting his way.

" Hey babe," Emmett says loudly, and I turn my attention just in time to see Rosalie breezing in a smile on her face.

" Hello love," she says, kissing him sweetly on the lips, before turning to say hello to the rest of us. " It smells incredible in here."

" Ana's cooking," Emmett announces happily.

" Mmm, I cant wait. So what did you guys do today? Hopefully you got out before the storm rolled in," she says, shaking the rain from her coat.

" Oh you know, we went to the arcade, had lunch, Ana and Jade got tattoo's," Edward says nonchalantly as he munches on a piece of carrot.

" Oh sounds like fun, wait what?" she asks, looking at me and Jade as she sits next to Emmett. I look over my shoulder and smile.

" Yeah, I am officially inked," I say, setting the spoon down to turn and look at her.

" Let me see," she says, walking towards me. I lift my shirt and pull my pants down partially to show her my new art work.

" Its beautiful, okay now I want to see yours Jade," she says, and Jade walks over to show her the way they connect.

" They are so beautiful," she says, staring at the detail.

" Thanks," I say laughing, blushing at the sudden attention. " Well dinner should be ready in ten minutes I am just going to run upstairs and change."

I walk up the stairs happily, not paying any attention to where I am going when I run into Jasper.

" Oh sorry," I say, moving to my right at the same that he moves to his left. We do this a few times trying to get past each other before I just stop moving all together. I stand there awkwardly for a minute.

" Uhm, I cooked dinner. You are more than welcome to join us," I say, finally breaking the silence.

" Thanks, I will. Listen Ana, can you meet me somewhere tonight?" he asks, running his fingers through his hair.

" Jasper, I don't know if I can do that. I don't want to talk this thing to death," I say, moving past him to go to my room. He grabs my wrist.

" Annalisa, please," he says, looking at me his eyes pleading. I debate with myself for a minute.

" Fine, where?" I ask, pulling my hand from his.

" Just meet me downstairs at say ten thirty, and be sure to dress warmly," he says, walking down the stairs before I can ask any questions. I stare after him bewildered.

" Ana, you might want to get down stairs, Emmett's attacking the spaghetti sauce," Jade yells from the kitchen. I roll my eyes to myself.

" Emmett, don't fight with the food," I yell back, running down the stairs to stop Emmett from starting World War Three with an inanimate object.


	11. Chapter 11: The Note and Payback

**Author's Note: First I would like to say that I don't now or ever have owned Twilight or its characters. Those belong to Stephanie Meyer, the lucky lucky girl. I do however, own Ana and Jade, and I think that they are pretty awesome in their own right. So anyways, please read, and review. Even if its to tell me the story sucks, though I would appreciate constructive criticism over people telling me I suck. Thanks. Onto Chapter 11!!!**

Chapter 11: The Note and Payback

" This isn't fare Jade, I cook dinner and I still get stuck with dish duty?" I ask, my long sleeved shirt pushed past my elbows and my arms immersed in soapy water. She laughs next to me.

" Well in the words of Emmett "you're the rookies. You should know that as soon as your done, you run for the door. Last person sitting does the dishes," she says, mimicking Emmett's deep voice. I roll my eyes, scrubbing off the last plate.

" So, did you notice the way Jasper was staring at you all dinner long?" she asks, taking the plate from my hand sliding it easily into the dishwasher. Of course I did.

" No, didn't notice," I say draining the water with a sigh of relief.

" Sure you didn't, you had to have noticed, that boy was staring at you like he would rather have you in his mouth than what you cooked," she says, snapping the towel in her hands on my back. I blush deeply.

" oh geeze Jade, does everything have to have a sexual meaning to it?" I ask, hopping up onto the counter.

" I was just saying, you could cut the tension between you two with a knife and feed a small third world country with it," she says, meticulously folding the towel.

" He wants me to meet him tonight," I blurt out. She stops her task and looks up at me.

" What? Why?" she asks, cornering me before I can flee.

" I don't know. He said he wants to talk, I'm supposed to meet him down here at ten thirty," I say, trying my hardest to sound nonchalant.

" Are you going to go? I mean honestly Ana, is it such a good idea?" she asks, her eyes softening with concern. Most people take one look at Jade and assume that she is probably someone who doesn't feel much. They would be very wrong. I have never met someone who feels so much for so many people, she just knows how to control it unlike me. I roll my eyes at her as I slide off the counter.

" I don't know Jade, I mean what harm could talking do?" I ask, nervously lifting an apple from the bowl on the counter rolling it around in my hands.

" You know better than me, that 'just talking' can do a lot of harm. Maybe I should go with you," she says, catching the apple from my hands to set it down. I think about that for a second, about to tell her that is probably a good idea, when Edward comes strolling in.

" Well hello ladies, done with kitchen duty I see," he says easily, walking to the refrigerator.

" Yeah, you might have warned us of the rule," Jade says, trying her hardest to look angry, but I can see her fighting the smile.

" Sorry, but everyone had to learn that rule the hard way," he says, smiling flawlessly, " I will make it up to you both though. How about a movie tonight, I hear that there is a pretty good horror flick playing, if we leave now we can make the eight o'clock showing."

" Oh I would love to, but you guys go without me, I have some homework to finish up," I say, walking towards the stairs.

" Are you sure?" Jade asks, looking at me speculatively.

" Yeah, I'm sure, go have fun. Tell me all about it," I say, walking up the stairs leaving them alone. Its not that I didn't want to go, but one, I didn't want to be the third wheel on Edwards apparent attempt to get Jade alone, and two, Jasper. Though I know that it would be easier to have Jade with me, I also know that I need to learn to face things on my own. I look at the clock and it reads seven forty five in its big glowing numbers. I sigh heavily as I sit down on my bed grabbing my back pack. Might as well get some work done while I count down the two hour and fifteen minute wait.

**Jade's POV**

The movie theatre grew dark and I still couldn't stop thinking about Ana. I knew I should have passed on the movie offer, but Edward is just so gorgeous. But Ana is my best friend. I find myself getting further and further into a war with myself when Edward nudges me softly.

" Are you okay?" he whispers, and I nod my head quickly.

" Sorry, just thinking about Ana," I say, " Jasper wants to meet her tonight, and I feel like I should be there, instead of here."

" We can leave if you want," his beautiful eyes smiling into mine. I deliberate for a moment. Before deciding that Ana would probably be mad if I walked away from this opportunity.

" No, she is a big girl, she can do this on her own," I say, settling into my seat. Fifteen minutes into the movie I am totally captivated. What can I say, horror movies have always been my favorite, even the cheesiest ones get my attention. I jump slightly by the bad guy jumping out of nowhere and I hear Edward laugh slightly. I look over at him and smile back. I settle back again and feel his arm wrap around my shoulder. He doesn't even use the whole fake a yawn move. I lay my head back to rest on his shoulder and smile to myself. I definitely made the right choice by staying here.

" Seriously Edward, that was probably one of the scariest movies I have seen in awhile," I say, walking down the street with him. I slide my hands into my jacket pocket, smiling at his laughter.

" Jade it really wasn't all that bad," he says, bumping his hip lightly into mine. 'Okay so maybe it wasn't all that bad, but any excuse to jump into your lap I will take,' I think to myself, smiling secretly. He chuckles to himself and at first I think that maybe I had spoken out loud by accident.

" What's so funny?" I ask, stopping to look up at him.

" Its nothing. Its just that even though the movie wasn't that great, I love the idea of you jumping into my lap, so I shouldn't complain too much," he says, and I cant help but to feel like he is keeping something from me. I decide not to press the issue at just this moment.

" Oh yeah, sorry about that," I say, wrapping my arm through his continuing the walk. We walk in peaceful silence for a few moments, when the sign for an ice cream shop gets my attention.

' I could go for some ice cream right about now,' I think to myself. I continue walking when I realize that Edward is leading me straight for the ice cream shop. I swear sometimes I think that he can read my mind or something.

" What is a date, without a little dessert?" he asks, opening the door for me. I walk through the door feeling almost as giddy as a school girl. Almost.

**Ana's POV**

Someone is shaking me. Why is someone shaking me? Will they just stop shaking me.

" What?" I croak out, sitting up, squinting through sleep blurred eyes.

" Ana, why are you asleep on the living room floor?" Jade asks, helping me slowly to my feet. I look around slightly confused.

" What time is it?" I ask, blinking furiously, trying to clear my eyes of sleep.

" Almost one," she says, sitting on the arm of the couch. I feel my eyes widen, as anger surges through my body.

" What do you mean it is almost one," I hiss through my clenched teeth.

" Its almost one in the morning," she says, looking at me confused.

" That jerk," I whisper, trying to keep my voice down.

" What happened Ana, what did he say?" she asks, concern kicking into over drive through her eyes. I look at her, tears of anger and outrage shining in my eyes.

" I wouldn't know, he stood me up. I came down her at fifteen after and waited, and then I remember laying down at ten thirty five, thinking I would just rest for a minute, and then you woke me up," I say, refusing to let the tears come. I walk into the kitchen pulling out a bottle of water to wash the dry feeling out of mouth.

" You mean he never showed up?" she asks, looking at me confused.

" Yeah Jade that's what stood up usually means," I say, slamming the water bottle t the counter. My movement causes a single slip of paper to float to the floor. I pick it up and read, and re-read the note.

'Edward,

I had to run out. Alice called. Be back later, if I don't see you, we will talk tomorrow. -J. P.S Ana is asleep on the living room floor, please put her in her bed thanks.'

He saw me, and didn't think to wake me up and tell me we would have to talk another time. He left me asleep on the floor to run off at Alice's beckon call. I hand Jade the paper as Edward walks in. Edward smiles down at me.

" Hey Ana," he says, and his smile falters as he see's the dark look on my face and the mirroring look on Jade's. "What's the matter?" I take the paper from Jade's hands and slap it to Edward's chest.

" This," I say, " This is the matter. Your friend is the what is the matter." I watch as Edward reads the note left for him and crumbles it angrily in his hand.

" Ana, I am sorry. Jasper, he just, he doesn't think sometimes," he says, throwing the paper into the trash can. I roll my eyes at this. Typical. Guys, they always stick together.

" Yeah well, you can tell him. You know what forget it, I'm going to bed," I say, stomping up the stairs to my room. I reach my door and turn to look at Jasper's door. I open my own door and slam it shut behind me, cursing myself and the day that I laid eyes on him.

I look around the office nervously. For a quote un-quote small recording studio this place looks insanely huge. The butterflies in my stomach have me seriously contemplating making a run for it and not looking back. I check my watch for what seems like the millionth time and realize that its fifteen minutes past the time of my meeting. I swallow nervously when the door finally opens, revealing Veronica Hale, looking just as stunning as I remember her. She smiles warmly at the woman she is talking to shaking her hand. She lifts her eyes and her smile widens when she notices me.

" Ana, you made it," she says, walking to me, taking my hand in hers. I smile back, at once feeling calm in her presence, any second thoughts fading quickly into my memory. I smile back at her.

" Yes, I did, it was a little crazy, trying to find my way around here. I managed though. You said noon when we talked at the party, but if this is a bad time, I can always come back," I say, pushing a stray strand of hair from my face.

" No, I just finished a small personal matter. Please come with me," she says, and I follow her as she leads me down a hallway. She opens a door revealing a decent sized empty space. A large window on one side revealing a breathtaking view of the bustling city. " This will be your office."

I stare up at her shocked.

" This is going to be my office?" I choke out, unsure if I heard her correctly.

" That's right, I have some furniture coming in about an hour. Rosalie was great help in telling me your taste. So if you will just follow me, I have just some menial paper work for you to fill out. You will have to get downstairs to floor five to get your I.D badge made up," she says, walking into an even larger office space. It's beautifully decorated. Shiny dark cherry wood. I watch as she glides elegantly to her desk and takes a seat. I see her pull out a small packet of paper. She smiles as she looks up and signals for me to take a seat across from her. I sit and find the seat amazingly comfortable. She slides the packet to me and a pen. I start filling it out as she taps quickly at the keys in front of her. I add my signature to the last page.

" All done," I say happily, handing her the papers. I watch as she quietly glances through them smiling. A buzzing noise at her desk causes me to jump slightly.

" Mrs. Hale, the delivery people are here," a voice rings through the phone.

" Let them in, tell them that she will be there shortly to tell them where things should be," she says, clicking the phone off. " Okay here is the office you need to go to on the fifth floor to get your I.D badge, as soon as you do, come back up here and show them how you want your office set up. After that you are completely free to go, and I will see you back here tomorrow after noon." Before I have time to react or say anything she breezes from the room.

I sit in my new black leather office chair, staring out of the window as the lights to the city start flickering on one after the other. I have spent the last twenty minutes texting Jade about the new office and fulfilling her demands for pictures. I still cant believe it myself. Black and hot pink, yes Rosalie knows me well. My desk is glossy and black, adorned with the new laptop I found wrapped and waiting in the small closest. I sigh heavily when I decide to finally get up and head home. I walk through the door locking it behind me. I hitch my back pack onto my shoulder, as I head out to the elevators. I read over the papers that one of Veronica's assistants brought to me, when I bump, well more like crash into somebody. Sending everything that I was carrying to the floor with a crash.

" Oh man, I'm sorry," a deep voice says, as I kneel down to pick everything up quickly.

"No, no it was my fault, I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going," I say, looking up. I am frozen in thought as I see a sexy pair of green eyes assessing me. I get to my feet at the same time that he stands up.

" I'm Brody. You must be Ana," he says, extending his hand towards me. I shake his hand nervously.

" Oh yeah, Ana, that's me," I say lamely. He smiles at that and drops my hand to run his finger through his light brown hair. I do a quick once over. He is taller than me slightly, probably 5'8 5'9. Muscular. Tan.

" Veronica did nothing but talk about you this morning at the office meeting," he says, smiling widely. I blush at the thought and he laughs. " Well I hope she didn't talk me up to much," I say, " I would hate to disappoint."

" Somehow I think it would be damn near impossible for you to disappoint. The only thing she didn't tell us is just how pretty you are," he says, and I giggle at that. Giggle like a school girl. I can feel myself blushing as I start walking past him.

" Well it was nice meeting you Brody, but I really must be going," I say, pressing the button on the elevator.

" Hey I know that this is going to sound crazy, but would you like to get some coffee with me?" he asks, running a hand through his hair almost nervously. I look over my shoulder and smile slightly about to decline his offer when one person comes to mind. Jasper.

" You know, that would be nice," I say, walking through the elevators waiting doors.

" Awesome," he says easily, walking to stand next to me. The doors open silently and I step out.

" I just need to make a phone call really quick," I say, flipping open my cell phone. I scroll down to Jade's number and decide to call the house phone instead, with hopes that no one will answer and that Jade wouldn't be the only one to hear the message.

" Hey Jade, and anyone else who might hear this. I am going to be a little late coming home today so don't freak out and call missing persons or anything Emmett. Oh and Jade, I will definitely have to tell you all about Brody. On the scale definitely a million times hotter than super cute frat boy from last summer. Ciao," I say, snapping my phone shut smiling smugly. Maybe this will get his attention. I turn around and smile widely at Brody signaling to him that I am more than ready to go.


	12. Chapter 12: That's What You Get

**Authors Note: Hello again people! Once Again from the Top I do not own the Awesomeness that Is Twilight and its Characters, the Awesomeness that Is Ana & Jade, yeah thats all me ( Oh and my best friend who was my muse for JADE:)) Anyways, please please read, review, all that fun stuff....and i know Jasper is kind of jerkish but i promise I am wirting him this way to better the story...anyways, on with the chapter...hope you enjoy :D**

Chapter 12: That's What You Get

**Jade's POV**

I walk into the house dragging my feet slightly. Stupid classes. Stupid Jasper for making me so damn mad that I stay up half of the night thinking about all of the ways that I could kill him. I drop my bag unceremoniously on the kitchen counter when I catch someone sitting at the table. I turn my head to see the object of my anger sitting at the table nonchalantly strumming a guitar. Oh great, and he plays guitar. Ana is a goner. I ignore him expertly as I walk to the fridge in search of something to snack on before I attack my homework for the night. The flashing light on the answering machine catches my eye.

" There's a message," I say, looking over my shoulder at Jasper.

" Well you live here to, press play," he says, easily turning his attention to his guitar. I press the button firmly fighting the urge to throw the machine at him. Ana's ringing voice catches my attention.

" _Hey Jade, and anyone else who might hear this. I am going to be a little late coming home today so don't freak out and call missing persons or anything Emmett. Oh and Jade, I will definitely have to tell you all about Brody. On the scale, definitely a million times hotter than super cute frat boy from last summer. Ciao."_

The strumming of Jasper's guitar ends almost as soon as he hears her voice. Way to go Ana. She knows that if she has to get a hold of me that she can always call my cell. But no. This was done purely out of payback. I know a lot about her, being my best friend that is just the way it is, and the only time she goes for payback, is when someone really pisses her off. And when its someone she really cares about. I smile smugly as I turn to look at Jasper. His face is paler than normal, and his hands seem frozen to the strings of his guitar.

" Well, sounds like Ana has made a new friend, I'm happy for her," I say, putting emphasis on the word friend. I hope that this gets to him. He deserves it, if not more. I pick up my bag and bottle of water as I make my way to the stairs. I swear I can hear him mumbling something behind me but instead of pressing the issue I decide to keep going hoping that he stays there stewing in jealousy. I breeze into my room, my mood suddenly uplifted by the simple actions of my best friend getting her payback. I turn on my stereo deciding that Paramore's That's What You Get is fitting. I turn it up so that its so loud I can feel the bass pulsing through my body. I dance around my room happily. It isn't until the end of the song that I hear the light laughter coming from behind me. I turn around slowly ready to pounce when I see Edward staring at me, his laughter lighting up his perfect, gorgeous face. I smile lightly as I switch off the stereo.

" No please, keep going, I was enjoying the show," he says, walking slowly towards me. I laugh a that as I sit down on my bed.

" So you wouldn't know anything about why Jasper is downstairs fuming would you?" he asks, sitting next to me crossing his legs.

" Maybe," I answer innocently as I pull some of my books from my bag. We sit in silence, when he finally speaks up.

" Well, are you going to let me in on the secret?" he asks, pulling the book from my hand. I pull it back from him and sigh heavily.

" Well, he maybe, sort of, heard a message left for me on the answering machine from Ana," I say, flipping the book open to the designated page.

" Why would that make him angry?" he asks, staring at me questioningly.

" Well she might have mentioned something about a guy," I say, secretly slapping a high five to Ana in my mind. He smirks before becoming serious.

" They are playing a dangerous game with each other," he says, scooting over so that he is sitting next to me. He takes my shoulder and falls back with me, our heads cushioned by the same pillow. I smile lightly as I snuggle into his shoulder.

" Yes, well your friend started it," I say, running my fingers over his left palm.

" I know. But they are both guilty. Its unwise to play with emotions and feelings," he says, and in this moment he sounds so much wiser than his 21 years. I look over at him and see his eyes fill with something. I cant place it, and I don't try to as he leans in close to me, pressing his lips to mine. I sink happily, letting him take me to a world that doesn't involve the drama at hand.

**Ana's POV**

" So, how long have you been working for the Hale's?" I ask, playing with the straw in my cup.

" About a year or so, they are pretty awesome people. I had like, absolutely no formal training on the sound board and they still took me on. that's what they do. They take people under their wings and try and help them," Brody says, smiling at me.

" Yeah, I mean I was totally taken off guard when Veronica asked me if I wanted the job. I wasn't about to pass it up though, opportunities like this don't fall into my lap this often," I say, sipping from my cup.

" Yeah. So have you met their kids yet?" he asks, staring at me questioningly.

" Yeah, actually. My best friend Jade and I live with them," I say, studying his face to gauge his reaction. His eyes widen slightly as he sits back.

" No way, what is it like. My friends and I we have always wondered about them. They seem so, tight. Like tighter than a normal group of friends," he says, sitting forward seemingly excited to hear all about it.

" Oh wow, what are they like. Their great. Rosalie, well she is beautiful and when you look at her you wouldn't think it, but she has a wicked sense of humor on her. Emmett, he is just hilarious. Seriously when I first saw him I was terrified, he is so huge, but deep down he is like a teddy bear. He is like the big brother I never had. Edward, I haven't really gotten to know him much. He seems very elusive, though he hasn't had much trouble opening up to Jade," I say, a smirk forming on my lips.

" Isn't there someone else. The Hales' son, what is his name again, Jason?" he asks, looking at me.

" Jasper," I correct him quickly. " Jasper, is a whole other messy subject." I drop it after that, not feeling the urge to go into detail. My mind wanders as I look around the little no name coffee shop we had come too.

" Hey look, I'm sorry if I brought up a rough subject," Brody's voice pulls me from my wandering thoughts. I shake my head, clearing the picture of Jasper's face from my vision.

" It's okay, not your fault," I say, praying that he would just change the subject.

" So from California huh? Tell me about what home is like" he says, expertly changing the subject. The conversation continues happily the time flying by steadily. My phone buzzes prompting me to stop Brody in the middle of his story. It's a number I don't recognize so I flip open my phone to read the text. 'It's almost midnight, when are you going to be home?' I feel my eyes widen.

" Ana, what's wrong?" Brody asks, looking at me.

" I just didn't realize what time it was. I better get going before Emmett does something crazy, like calling the cops and filing a missing persons report," I say, gathering my stuff from the table.

" Oh yeah, wow. Well they do say time flies by when you're having fun," he says easily, standing to open the door for me. " Let me at least walk you to your car." I look around and nod, deciding it's a good idea seeing as how night has quickly descended and a light mist is falling over the city. We get to my car easily, luckily for me I was with someone who has a sense of direction.

I open my door putting my stuff on the front seat and turn to look at Brody. He is standing shuffling his feet nervously.

" I had a lot of fun Ana. Maybe I can get your number and call you sometime and we can do this again," he says, holding his phone out to me. I smile as I take it and hand my phone to him. We hand each other our phones back, and on impulse I push up onto my tiptoes, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

" I had fun too, call me," I say, getting into my car driving away. I look in my rearview mirror and see him standing there, smiling happily after my tail lights.

I creep up the front steps of the house, trying to find the key I need in the light of the moon. 'The least someone could have done is leave a light on for me,' I think to myself. I slide the key into the lock and turn it slowly hoping it wont make too much noise. I shut the door quietly behind me and turn to see a lone figure sitting in a chair, a single light casting shadows through the living room.

" You know, you had everyone worried half to death about you," Jasper's bitter voice flows through the room.

" I am a big girl, I don't have a curfew. And if everyone was so worried why did I only receive one lonely text message from an unknown number?" I ask, dropping my bag heavily to the floor.

" Maybe no one else bothered you because I offered to stay up waiting for you, even though I have an early class tomorrow," he shoots back his fingers tightening on the arm of the chair he is sitting in. I laugh darkly at that.

" Oh how noble of you Jasper, what no Alice emergency to see to tonight?" I ask, bitterness racing through my blood like a drug. His look lightens slightly. He sighs heavily before getting to his feet. He starts walking past me.

" The next time you decide to stay out so late at least let someone know," he commands lightly. I lose it. I feel something snap inside of me.

" How dare you, you unbelievable, infuriating jack-ass," I say, words spitting out before my brain can filter what I am saying. He turns looking at me, honest surprise on his face.

" What did you say?" he asks, walking down the steps towards me.

" You heard me. What right do you have to tell me how to do anything in my life? Are you my father? Are you even my friend? You have no right to tell me how to do anything, just like I don't have the right to tell you how to run anything in yours," I yell at him, backing him into the kitchen. I slap the lights on after me, and I can hear the footsteps coming from both directions.

" Oh so you think you can just walk around and do what ever you please without letting anyone know what is going on with you? That you can just go around like some common slut and pretend that you feel nothing for me?" he yells back. I see the people rushing in. Jade first who rushes towards Jasper looking like she is ready to take his head clean off his shoulders. Followed swiftly by Edward who catches her by the waist lifting her up as she kicks and screams obscenities and promises that she is going to cause severe bodily harm to him. Emmett and Rosalie have joined in on the scene and they stare in disbelief at what Jasper has just said and the fact that I haven't said anything. Yet. I feel the tears fall, and at this point I am unashamed. With those few words Jasper has managed to strip away all of my defenses, leaving me to feel empty and exposed. A trembling mass of pain. I walk towards him and I can already see the gravity of realization playing on his face.

" I would rather be thought of as a slut in this house, then to be pitied as the stupid girl who is in love with someone who wants a girl that he can never have back," I say, hatred dripping as I say the words slowly. The kitchen grows steadily quiet as even Jade stops fighting Edwards hold. I walk out of the kitchen, an explosion of voices chasing me through the hall. I walk into my room and grab my duffel bag from the top shelf of the closet. I blindly start shoving things into it, not paying attention to what I am doing. My breathing grows ragged as I fight the tears and the screams of pure pain trying to fight their way out of me. I run back down the stairs and right into Emmett who is standing guard at the bottom.

" Where do you think you are going half-pint?" he asks, grabbing my slim shoulders in his big hands.

" Anywhere but here," I answer, roughly shaking his grip.

" Ana, please don't go," he says, all sense of teasing gone from his voice. I look up into his big pleading eyes.

" I cant stay Emmett, not tonight! I have to go, please," I say skirting passed him. I open the front door quickly and walk into the night.


	13. Chapter 13: Jack Daniels & Water Lilies

_**Author's Note: Okay like always I still dont own Twilight or its characters, as much as i have wished for it. Ana and Jade are all mine though. ANyways I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has been reading and to a HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to missblackvelvot who has left two reviews thus far! thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!I promise you that you will get more of Jade, but not so much in this story. She will still have her POV's and stuff, but I am saving the details of Jade and Edward's relationship for the sequal of this story!!!! Where Jade is in the limelight :D Anyways, thanks for reading, hope you enjoy this chapter! PLEASE leave reviews kisses all around :D On to CHapter 13......**_

**Chapter 13: Jack Daniels and Water Lilies**

**Jade's POV**

Laying in the warmth of Edward's arms I cant think of life getting better at this very moment. Okay so maybe one thing could make life better, and that is if the sky was to open up and start pouring down Jolly Ranchers. Ahh, that would be great, but for now I will take what I can get. Edwards breathing has been steady for some time, telling me that he fell asleep shortly after our make out session. I sigh happily at the thought. I close my eyes, feeling my mind starting to drift off towards sleep when the screaming from down stairs jolts me out of my current state. I sit up straining to hear when I recognize Ana's voice. Shit. I reach down and grab the closest shirt to me, pulling it over my head catching the faint scent of Edward's cologne.

" What is it? Where are you going?" Edward asks, sitting up, his face dazed with sleep. I look over my shoulder as I reach for the bedroom door.

" It's Ana," I say, and I wait as he slides quickly out of my bed. We walk down the stairs catching ourselves on the stairs before we walked into the middle of the heated fight between Ana and Jasper. It's been a long time since I have seen her like this. Her eyes lit with anger, her hands clutching the counter.

" You heard me. What right do you have to tell me how to do anything in my life? Are you my father? Are you even my friend? You have no right to tell me how to do anything, just like I don't have the right to tell you how to run anything in yours," she yells, skirting around the counter to stand in front of him. One thing about Ana, she hates confrontation, but she doesn't back down when confrontation finds her. I stay back, knowing that I need to let her fight her battles on her own. In the darkness of the stairs I listen, holding my breath to see what he will say, and where this fight will lead them.

" Oh so you think you can just walk around and do what ever you please without letting anyone know what is going on with you? That you can just go around like some common, freshman slut and pretend that you feel nothing for me?" Jasper yells back at her. My eyes haze over and my body works off of pure instinct. I fly into the kitchen fully ready to launch myself at Jasper, and rip his head from his shoulders. Edwards strong hands catch me around the waist and I kick uselessly against the air.

" I swear to God Jasper, you just made the biggest mistake of your life, I am going to kill you," I yell at him, pushing against Edward's hands trying so hard to get free. I stop struggling when I see Ana lift her head and look Jasper straight in the eyes.

" I would rather be thought of as a slut in this house, then to be pitied as the stupid girl who is in love with someone who wants a girl that he had and lost, and can never have back," she says. I can feel the hatred in her words, but more, I can feel the unadulterated pain. She walks past me, not even looking up to make eye contact. The kitchen is frozen in silence. Everyone staring at Jasper, unsure of what to say, or if we should even breathe. Edward sets me down and I walk to the counter.

" How could you say something like that?" I ask, being sure to stand behind the counter so that I don't attack him.

" It just came out, I didn't even think," he says, running his hands through his hair.

" I am going to go stand guard at the stairs, make sure that Ana doesn't leave," Emmett half mumbles. I watch as he walks from the kitchen.

" You have no idea how big of a mistake you just made. You could have said anything to her, you could have hit her, and it would not have had the same impact on her," I say, my throat thickening with tears of anger and sympathy for my best friend.

" I am not saying that what my stupid brother said is acceptable, but surely as women we all know what it is like to have someone call her that," Rosalie's small voice comes from the corner. I turn my head to look at her, before looking back at Jasper.

" Yeah, as women we get used to be calling sluts, or bitches, or hoes. But tell me something Jasper, would your father ever call your sister a slut?" I ask, watching his face.

" Of course not, but I really don't see what this has to do with what is going on," he says, his voice tired and sad.

" You see. Here is something you don't know about Ana. Something that you probably would have never found out because Ana doesn't like to talk about it. Ana's father was a mean drunk. He would never hit, no not physically. He never wanted to leave marks. But emotional scars last so much longer than physical ones. The day her father left the last thing he said to her, was that he was leaving because he didn't want to watch her grow up to be a slut like her mother," I say, and the look of realization spreads over everyone's face. " She is my best friend, no that's all wrong. She is my sister. We have been connected from the moment that we met, and I will make sure that she stays away from you, even if it means that we leave." I turn to walk out of the kitchen when Jasper finally speaks up.

" You cant do that," he says dully. I turn around and glare at him through angry eyes.

" Why is that?" I ask, leaning against the counter thoroughly curious as to what reason he could give. He opens his mouth to speak when Emmett comes back into the kitchen.

" Ana's gone," his deep voice comes from behind me. I whirl around to look at him.

" What do you mean Ana is gone?" I ask, panic coursing through my veins.

" She left. I'm sorry. I should have made her stay, but she looked so, broken," he says, his own eyes shining. I sit back in awe for a second, looking at the emotion coursing through his eyes. I push past him and Edward and run out through the front door, just in time to catch the last gimps of the tail lights of the Explorer turning the corner. I stand staring for the longest time. Willing her to turn around and come back. He is dead. Oh yes. Jasper will pay. I wrap my arms around myself thinking of just how many way I can kill one Jasper Hale, and get away with it.

Ana's POV

I pull the car over into an empty parking lot, finally deciding that it would probably be safe if I didn't drive with tears coming faster than I can blink them away. I turn the car off letting the sobs wrack my body, shaking me violently. Jasper's voice ringing in my head, my father's voice screaming at me even louder. 'I told you, you'd become a slut just like your mother.' His voice mocks me as I continue crying. I slap my hands over my ears trying to silence the voices. I don't know how much time has passed, the tears stopped a while ago. I look at my phone and its glowing numbers tell me that it is three in the morning. I scroll through my phone, twenty five missed texts, ten missed calls. Ana, come home. Ana, please tell me where you are, we will come get you. Ana, please. Please, please. I ignore them all as I look through my numbers and decide to call the only other friend I have made here. I press the call button and it rings. One ring. Two rings. Three rings.

" Hello," the muffled sleepy voice of Brody rings through to me.

" Hey did I wake you up?" I ask, trying to sound upbeat.

" Yeah most people are asleep at three in the morning. What's up?" he asks, his voice lightening. He sounds genuinely happy to be hearing from me.

" So uhm, listen this is going to sound crazy. Especially since we just met. But I need somewhere to crash for the night," I say, hoping that he doesn't hang up on me.

" Sure, no problem where are you?" he asks, and I look around trying to find road signs. I quickly find them and let him know. He gives me the directions to his studio apartment and I hang up the phone. I start the car and listen to it run for a minute, contemplating. What are you doing Ana, you need to pick up the phone and call Jade right now. No. No. No. I cant expect her to rescue me every time I fall. I put the car in drive and take a deep breathe hoping that I am making the right decision.

I press the buzzer again.

" Hello," the deep voice comes through the speaker.

" Hey, its Ana," I say. It was relatively easy to find Brody's apartment. Considering it was all of two blocks away from where we work.

" All right I will buzz you in," he says, I can hear the door unlock from the inside. I pull open the door and step into the warmth of the apartment building. I look around and find an elevator. Looks sturdy enough. I hope. I get in and press the glowing seven. The elevator lifts with a deep hum as it starts the ascent. My heart hammers against my rib cage as the doors slide open. I walk as quickly as I can to his apartment. Number seven forty eight. I stand looking at the door straightening out my hair and clothes, hoping that my eyes aren't to swollen from crying. I lift my hand slowly, knocking on the door. The door swings open revealing Brody with sleep tousled hair, wearing nothing but a pair of basketball shorts and a whit tank top.

" Hey, I'm sorry about all of this, I feel so bad," I say, walking in. His apartment is cute. Typical for a guy. Dirty dishes, clutter. Discarded clothes. Posters of half naked women adorn the walls. A huge plasma TV is in the corner along with a complicated looking stereo system. Its nice though, comfortable.

" Don't worry about it. Its not every day I get a phone call at three a.m. from a pretty girl in need," he says, shutting the door behind me.

" Somehow I doubt that," I say, setting my bag down on the counter. He smiles a boyish grin and I laugh.

" So you going to tell me what happened that has you in my apartment this late, or are you going to keep it a surprise?" he asks, sitting at his kitchen table, pulling a cigarette from a pack. I watch as he lights it and inhales deeply. I can feel the tears thickening my throat at the thought. I scan the room and catch the collection of empty liquor bottles on top of his fridge.

" Can I get a drink?" I ask, and he smiles standing to fill a glass with water. I look at him seriously as he turns to hand me the glass.

" I was thinking something a little stronger," I say, and he smirks slightly reaching into his freezer pulling out a bottle.

" This should be strong enough," he says, pouring some of it into a shot glass.

An hour has passed and I am drunk. No I am far past drunk. I am plastered, wasted, blown, every other word you could use to describe what I am would work.

" Seriously Brody, he called me a slut. When he is the one who is in love with someone else and refuses to admit it, boys are so dumb," I say, my voice slurred and high pitched. Brody laughs thoroughly at that.

" Yes, we are dumb, very dumb at times. Let me tell you something sugar, if the guy is dumb enough to not realize what a great girl you are then screw him," he says waving his hand in the air as if he is making a valid point. I giggle at this, hysterically. "What's so funny?" he asks his voice slurred thickly.

" You, you, you just said screw," I choke out laughing. I fall off the chair I am sitting in with a soft thud, laughing even harder. He joins in on the laughter and soon we are both breathless. The laughter dies slowly and I lay back on the floor of his living room. The room spins blissfully. Brody joins me, pulling me so that my head is cushioned on his shoulder. I turn to look at him and I swear the eyes staring back at me are Jasper's. He leans in kissing me. The faint taste of cigarette smoke and Jack Daniels on his breathe. I let him take the kiss where its going to go, all the while wishing that it was Jasper, and not him that I was kissing.

Throbbing. Pulsing. Oh I think I am going to throw up. I open my eyes slowly and shut them again quickly. The room is too bright and my head and stomach scream in defense. I sit up slowly, and the room spins. Only this spinning is not the same happy spinning that I remember from the night before. I look around at my surroundings and realize that I am not on the floor like I remember instead I am wrapped in the sheets of Brody's bed. Cold air hits my skin and I realize that my shirt is missing. Panic sets in. What did I do? I wonder to myself. I lean down searching for my discarded shirt. I find it at the end of the bed and I put it on quickly. I slide out of the bed happy to know that at least my pants are still in place. I reach the door way and brace myself against the door, as the sickening nausea rolls through me.

" Morning sunshine," Brody's bright voice calls from the kitchen counter.

" What time is it," I ask, looking through my bag for my cell phone.

" A quarter to one," he answers and my eyes widen.

" Oh no, I'm going to be late. My class starts in fifteen minutes," I say, shoving things back into my bag. Its quiet as I rush around picking up my stuff. I slide into my shoes and grab my bag.

" Hey, are you going to come back here tonight?" he asks, looking at me questioningly.

" Oh, erm I don't know. I'll call you," I say, pressing a small kiss to his cheek as I rush through the door. I make it all the way down stairs and half way to my car before the vile taste at the back of my throat gets the best of me and I throw up. I clutch my stomach as I get into my car and I fumble around the back seat for the bottle of water that I always keep handy. I feel like I could cry with joy when I find it and I drink deeply from the bottle, trying to wash away the taste in my mouth. I have never been a big drinker. Sure I partied in high school, but not excessively. I drank only one other time to the point of complete oblivion and that was the first time I drank at all. I curse the sun that peaks through the clouds and slap on my sunglasses praying that I just make it through classes.

By the time I walk into work I am feeling somewhat human again. Snacking on saltine crackers has helped settle my stomach and I walk straight for my office. I open the door to see the most beautiful bouquet of pink water lilies sitting on my desk. I smile slightly as I cross my office to read the card attached. 'There are not enough words that I could say to tell you how sorry I am. Please just give me the chance.-Jasper.' I read the note two or three times, bitterness and anger filling me completely. I crumble the note in my hand and grab the vase of flowers. I contemplate chucking them out of the window but no one, except Jasper, deserves to die by being struck in the head with a vase filled with generic 'I'm Sorry' water lilies. I walk to the front desk and place them on the desk. I turn and almost run into Veronica.

" Oh Ana, what beautiful flowers. I saw them being delivered, why in the world are you putting them out here?" she asks, and I can feel my face become flushed. " They have to be from someone very special."

" I just thought I would share them with everyone," I answer quickly walking towards my office.

" Well who are they from, someone special I am hoping," she pushes the issue and I almost wonder if she knew that they were sent by her son.

" No, no one special," I say over my shoulder, walking back to my office with a chip on my shoulder the size of the world.

I have been dreading this moment since I left last night. I look at the front door wishing I could fly, that way I could avoid this whole mess of seeing people and just lock myself in the sanctuary of my room. I open the door and poke my head in quickly sighing in relief when I see that no one is in sight.

" Hello," I call out kind of quietly. " Its just me, Ana, home from work. If anyone needs me I will be upstairs." I start creeping up the stairs when a noise comes from behind. I turn and see a slightly bemused, but overly worried Jade staring at me from the bottom of the stairs. She looks at me for a second before climbing the stairs catching up to me. She catches the back of my shirt and drags me up the stairs.

" You, Me, we have to talk NOW," she says, dragging me away. I see Edward and Emmett's heads peak up the stairs and they shake their heads slowly before going back to do whatever it is that they are doing. I knew I was in for it. I did. The moment I left last night I knew that if I stayed gone and didn't at least text that Jade would be on the prowl until I got home, and then she would pounce. She would rip me a new one, then express how scared she was, then she would soothe and finally she would make some huge joke to make it all okay again. I walk into the room easily as she slams the door behind me.

" What the hell were you thinking? Just taking off like that? We didn't know where you were, or if you were hurt. That was the single most immature thing I have ever known you to do Ana, and you have done some pretty immature things. If you ever do something like this again, I swear I will call your mother," she yells, her voice slightly becoming light towards the end of her tirade.

" Jade, I am so sorry that you worried about me," I say, sitting down on the bed.

" Ana, seriously, come on. Can you even imagine what was going through my head. You weren't answering your phone or anything," she says, sitting next to me. She wraps her arms around me kindly and I lay my head on her shoulder, emotion filling me. I always hate worrying her. I hate knowing that she is unhappy for any amount of time.

" I know, I just. I had to get away," I say, pulling my knees to my chest. I cry. She lets me. I ask why, and she doesn't try and answer, she just listens.

" I don't know why he said what he did Ana, I wish that I could give you the answer. All I can tell you is that I wont let him hurt you again," she says, her voice filled with promise. " Where did you go anyways?" I smile at her guiltily.

" You did not," she says, pushing away from me to get a better look at my face. I just nod.

" Oh my god Ana, what happened. Tell me all about it," she gushes. I replay everything to her. How I called him and got drunk with him. Kissed him. Wished that it was Jasper. Woke up in his bed shirtless. Everything. I didn't hide anything from her, in our friendship I quickly learned it was futile to hide things from her.

" Wait, wait, wait," she says, looking at me the joking light in her eyes turning serious. " How do you know that you didn't, you know?"

" I think I would know, besides, my pants were on. I'm not sore or anything, and just so you don't have to ask, I made an appointment already to go to the student clinic," I say, pulling clean clothes from my dresser.

" Good. So tell me about these flowers that you know who sent," she says, and I cringe at remembering just how perfectly beautiful that they were.

" What's to tell? They were perfect, beautiful. I thought about chucking them from my office window," I say, looking at her. She laughs at that, a quick happy sound that makes me feel light again. Like all of the heaviness that I was feeling just disappeared.

" That would have been great. All over the news you would hear about someone being killed by a falling vase of water lilies," she says, laughing hysterically. I laugh with her at the absurdity of the thought.


	14. Chapter 14: So Close Yet So Far Away

**Author's Note: Hello again everyone :D Like always I dont own Twilight or the characters....Ana and Jade are all mine though!!!! I want to say a HUGE thank you to ****AstridxLinnankivi**** for being so awesome and leaving me such awesome reviews! You Seriously made my day you have no idea :D I hope that this story doesnt disappoint. And just to clrify everything for everyone this is a story in which the Vamps are n fact ALL HUMAN! I just wanted to make that clear and I didnt do that because I dont like them as Vamps, I LOVE them as Vamps, just wanted to write and see what would happen if they were to be human :D Anyways, Read, Review :D I will LOVE you forever and a day I promise hehe buckle up kiddos and get ready for CHapter 14 :)**

Chapter 14: So Close Yet So Far Away

It has been two weeks since the last time I spoke, and fought, with Jasper. Everyday for the past two weeks I have come into my office to find a bouquet of pink water lilies sitting on my desk. And everyday I take the flowers and put them in random places around the office. In the microwave in the break room, woman's bathroom cabinet, men's room urinal. Yes you heard right. I put one of the pretty vases full of beautiful flowers in a urinal, and I proceeded o take a picture and send it to Jade. Who in turn sent a voice message of her laughing hysterically and subsequently being shushed by the librarian. I walk into my office caught slightly off guard by the lack of pretty flowers on my desk. Finally he gave up. The bastard. I try not to feel to upset about this, but I had grown rather accustomed to my little game of hide the flowers. I sit down heavily in my chair and look at the empty spot on my desk, when the ringing of my phone makes me jump. I answer it quickly and it is the front desk.

" Ana, you have a delivery here," the secretary says, and she sounds somewhat, jealous perhaps.

" Oh erm, okay I will be right there," I say, hanging up the phone. A delivery, I wasn't expecting anything. The c.d. that Veronica wanted me to listen to came yesterday afternoon, so what in the world could it be now. I walk through the hall my heels clicking against the floor as I go. I turn the corner and stop, my breathe catching in my throat as I see what is waiting for me. The biggest, goofiest teddy bear I have ever seen stares at me with shining eyes. And balloons of all shapes and sizes with the same sentiment on them. I'm Sorry. I laugh nervously as a small crowd has formed to stare in disbelief, Brody being among them. Brody. We have talked a few times since the night that I stayed at his apartment. We had to. I had to know if him and I did the deed while we were in our own drunken little world. He re-assured me we didn't, and that he would never take advantage of a girl in that state. It wasn't that I didn't believe him, but confirmation from the doctor at the clinic definitely helped set my mind at ease.

" Ana Benson?" the delivery guy asks in a bored voice. I nod my head at him and he thrusts a clip board in my hands asking for my signature. I sign off and he walks away and I turn back to look at what is before me. 'How in the hell am I going to get these back to my office?' I think to myself. As if he could see what I was thinking, Brody bounds forward offering to help.

" Thanks," I say lamely, as I pick up the balloons. He doesn't say anything until we reach my office.

" Looks like someone is trying really hard to get back into your good graces," he says, sliding the giant teddy bear into the corner. I roll my eyes at him as I pick up the note to see what Jasper has to say this time. 'I heard through the grapevine that the flowers I was sending were finding their way into interesting spots in the office. So I decided that maybe I can send you this teddy bear seeing as how he wont possibly fit into a urinal. Just remember I wont stop until you talk to me,-Jasper.'

" It looks that way," I say, sliding the note into my top desk drawer. We sit in awkward silence for a few moments.

" How many balloons you think you have there?" he asks suddenly, and I turn to look at him. I study the balloons for a second.

" I don't know, want to count them?" I ask, as I smile slowly. We start counting and after twenty minutes we have come to the total. One hundred and fifty balloons. Pink, blue, red, black, white, green, orange. Hearts, starts, circles. This boy just doesn't give up. His persistence much to my horror makes my heart sigh. I clamp down on that thought, and start thinking of a way to get rid of the balloons.

" Hey Brody, you busy after work?" I ask, smiling sweetly at him. He shakes his head.

" Okay cool meet me in the copy room after work, I have come up with an idea," I say, and he walks away chuckling to himself.

" What kind of idea?" he asks as he walks backwards towards the recording studio.

" A balloon party kind of idea," I call to him, closing the door laughing as I start scheming.

One hundred and fifty color copies later Brody and I are headed to one of the heaviest populated areas of the campus. As we walk swiftly carrying the balloons in hand I smile evilly as I send a mass text to everyone in my phone, including Jasper. -Come see the show. Sure you will be entertained.- I step up onto one of the benches and start talking at the top of my lungs.

" Hey everyone. So uhm, I'm Ana. And I am having this problem with someone who is sending me gifts trying to apologize for something wrong they did. These balloons being the newest addition. SO I am going to hand out these fliers and if you are holding one you get a balloon, and at exactly four-forty we are going to release every single one of them, as our own personal way of saying we are letting go of the people who have hurt us. Enjoy," I say, and much to my surprise there are a ton of people coming up to get a flier. The flier that reads, -For every person who has put you down, called you names, played with your heart, screwed your emotions. For the person that has broken your heart or never took notice. Let it go, let it all go, and if it isn't as easy as letting go of a balloon at least have fun pretending that it is their head floating away into the atmosphere and possibly getting caught on an electrical wire and popping.- in ten minutes flat the fliers are handed out and I see Jade, Edward, Emmett, and Rose all pushing through the crowd to where I was standing.

" Ana, what are you doing?" Jade asks, staring up at me in wonder. I smile smugly.

" I am having a balloon party," I say, smiling widely.

" Where in the world did you get all of these balloons. Please tell me you didn't spend your money on these balloons," she says, looking at me like I have gone crazy. I shake my head.

" Nope, I didn't spend my money on anything, he did," I say, pointing to where Jasper is standing watching in wonder. I watch the look on his face transform, from curiosity, to understanding, to annoyance and finally anger. His face is red with it. Serves him right. Thinking pathetic, but beautiful flowers, and giant teddy bears and balloons could possibly make up for the hell he has put me through in such a short amount of time. Jade laughs darkly to herself and tries to cover it but doesn't succeed. Emmett is laughing but he laughs at everything. Rosalie and Edward are they only two who don't seem to entertained by the whole thing. Oh well, their loss, if they cant laugh at something so silly it isn't my problem. I call out for everyone to release their balloons and with cheers and yells filling the air of the courtyard, one hundred and forty nine balloons float away. One balloon waits in my car. One single solitary balloon, that I guess in some way I am holding onto like my last hope. People file out quickly off to their Friday night plans when Brody reaches up grabbing me by the waist helping me down. I brace my hands on his shoulders and let him help me down. He smiles down at me, and leans in for a kiss. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Jasper watching, and a part of me screams to kiss Brody. To make Jasper feel just a small amount of what I felt. I cant. I just cant. I turn my head so that his lips brush my cheek and he looks at me questioningly. I just smile and hug him, thanking him for his help with the impromptu balloon party.

" Hey so are you guys coming tonight? The party at my place?" he asks, and I look around the group.

" I am always up for a party," Emmett says, clapping his hand on Brody's back.

" Okay ten my place. Ana can lead the way," he says waving good bye to everyone.

" You know Ana, you have come up with some crazy ideas, but this one was great. Very entertaining," Jade says, smiling brightly.

" A tad childish don't you think," Rosalie says, looking kind of upset by my actions.

" About as childish as name calling," I say, breezing past her.

Brody's party has been going for an hour, and already I regret coming. My head pounds along with the music in the room and of course Rosalie was sure to invite Jasper along for the ride. Stupid Jasper. With his gorgeous smile, beautiful eyes, hair that I itch to touch. "Stop it Ana, what they hell are you doing? He made it perfectly clear that you and him are never going to happen," I yell at myself internally. I turn around quickly hoping to make my way through the drunken crowd to get a drink. Something besides the stupid glass of ice water that I have been sipping on for the last hour. As I turn I bump solidly into Mike. Great, so Alice is here too. Just what I need.

" Hey Ana, how you doin,'" he asks, his voice slurring thickly.

" Hi Mike, I'm fine how are you?" I ask, trying to walk past him.

" I am just a little bit drunk, want some of my Doctor Juice?" he asks, extending a bottle towards me.

" No thanks Mike," I say pushing the bottle towards him again. He shoves it at me again.

" Come on Ana, loosen up have some," he says, his inebriated state causing him to misjudge how far he was pushing the bottle and he smacks me right in the eye with it. I yell out in pain.

" Oh no, Ana, I'm sorry," he repeats over and over again through laughter. Alice breezes over quickly and starts scolding Mike like a child. She turns to me and grimaces when she looks at my eye. Oh great, that's never a good sign.

" Come on," she says, dragging me through the mass of people and into the bathroom. I hop up onto the counter as she runs a wash cloth under cold water.

" Its funny we always run into each other at a party and when something bad has happened," I say, pressing the cloth to my eye, glad that the coolness helps ease the throbbing.

" Yeah funny. So tell me something," she says, and immediately I know this isn't going to be a friendly talk. " Just how long are you going to be giving Jasper the cold shoulder?" I stare at her through my one good eye. I shrug my shoulders at her.

" I don't know Alice. What good would it do honestly? In the end I will still be the one left feeling empty," I say, turning to look at just how bad my eye is. Its not too bad. A little puffy. It will be bruised in the morning though, I think to myself.

" Well how do you know unless you try," she pushes the issue making me want to snap.

" Alice, I appreciate your thoughts, but this is something I will have to do on my own time," I say, and she looks at me seriously.

" You don't have much time left," she says, and I look at her curiously.

" What do you mean that I don't have much time left?" I ask, panic suddenly spreading through my body.

" You didn't hear this from me, but Jasper has been talking about moving," she says, and just like that everything changes. These past two weeks I have wasted time holding onto anger. I throw down the wash cloth.

" I have to go find him, where is he Alice," I ask and a small smile spreads over her face.

" On the balcony," she says, and I rush out of the bathroom. Pushing through the crowd. Someone catches me around the waist. I turn and see Brody smiling drunkenly at me.

" What's the rush sugar, where are you goin?" he asks, his breathe blows over me. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol assaults my senses. I struggle against his hold.

" I have to go find Jasper," I say, yelling over the music. His hold tightens on me.

" Aww, no you don't. You need to stay and dance with me, and maybe later we can pick up where we left off a few weeks ago," he says, pressing a sloppy kiss to my neck. I crane my head away from him struggling against him.

" Let me go Brody, please," I say, looking around in panic to see if anyone I know is around. He grinds his body against mine. I catch a glimpse of Emmett, Rose, Edward, and Jade dancing close by.

" Jade," I yell over the music, but my voice gets lost in the noise of the room. " Jade." I yell a little bit louder. Still she doesn't hear me. Suddenly the grip that was so tight on my body loosens and I look over to see Jasper and Brody standing toe to toe.

" I do believe she asked you to let her go," Jasper says, his voice sounding beyond angry. He sounds dangerous.

" I don't think its any of your damn business," Brody shoots back shoving Jasper back a full step. Then all hell breaks loose. Fists start flying and I people are pushing and pulling me trying to get a closer look. Emmett easily grabs Brody around the neck pulling him away from Jasper. Edward grabs Jasper dragging him out of the front door. Emmett drops Brody to the floor and starts leading me out of the door.

" Ana, when you want a real man you know where to find me," Brody calls and I shoot a nervous glance over my shoulder.

The car ride home was long and awkward, no one spoke. I drove steadily through the dark and wait patiently while everyone gets out of the car. I look over my shoulder to the balloon that flouts in my back seat. I grab the balloon with a sigh and walk into the house. Everyone is standing in the kitchen, Rosalie busy getting ice for Jasper and his eye. Looks like he is going to have an even bigger shiner in the morning than I am, I think to myself. I walk upstairs avoiding the conflict. I go into my room and grab a piece of paper and scribble across it in a hurry. -Jasper, we need to talk. Meet me in my room at midnight -Ana. I take the note across the hall. I open the door to his room and set the note on his dresser. I turn around in time to see Jade walking into our room. I follow her, and close the door behind me.

" So how pissed is everyone at me?" I ask and she spins around eyes bright with humor.

" No one is mad at you, hell Jasper has been itching for a reason to pound Brody's face in since the day you called and left that message. The only one slightly upset is Rosalie, and that's a given," she says, changing her clothes quickly.

" Oh well that's good. Did you know that Jasper has been talking about leaving?" I ask, sitting on my bed, pulling my favorite blanket into my lap. I wait in silence, playing with the frayed ends to keep my fingers busy.

" Who told you?" she asks, pulling her brush through her dark hair.

" The question should be, why you didn't tell me," I say, glaring at her from where I sat. She sighs heavily throwing her brush back onto her bed.

" Listen Ana, I would have told you. It's just, Jasper begged me not to," she says, and I stare at her in disbelief.

" Wait a minute, you have been making sure every second of everyday that me and Jasper wouldn't be in the same room as each other for more than two seconds, and you are telling me that you have had heart to hearts with him," I accuse, totally broad sided by the idea.

" Look don't hate me, okay? Its just that after that night everyone was so mad and no one would talk to him, not even Rose. I felt bad, especially since I threatened him with bodily harm," she says, an honest to goodness guilty look on her face. She looks just like the kid who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. My heart sighs at this. She always has had a soft spot for people who were outcastes. I roll my eyes at her.

" okay fine, whatever. Listen, I want to talk to him. I need you to be out of the room tonight," I say, and she looks at me warily.

" Aww come one Ana, where am I supposed to go?" she whines stomping her feet as she goes.

" I don't know Timbuktu for all I care. I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind you crashing in his room tonight," I suggest and she smiles over her shoulder.

" Oh, your good. Okay well, I guess I will see you in the morning. Ana," she says, stopping and turning to look at me from the door way. " Be careful, not only with your own heart, but with his. He isn't as strong as he looks." with that she walks out of the room, leaving my head reeling with what she just said.

I sat on my window seat watching the rain fall steadily out side of my window, when a small tapping on my door gets my attention.

" Come in," I call out softly, turning my head to look out of the window again. I hear my door click shut and the shuffle of someone's feet over the carpet. Jasper sits across from me and I look at him. His left eye is puffed up and his lip slightly swollen as well. Dried blood forming on the cut.

" Looks like he got you good," I say, my fingers itching to reach out and touch him. Instead I play with the small silver ring I wear constantly on my pinky.

" It was worth it," he says easily. I watch as he leans his head back against the wall.

" So, I hear through the grapevine that you are talking about leaving," I say, running my hands through my hair. His eyes change from calm to stormy in that one sentence.

" Yes," he says, and I pull in a shaky breath trying to swallow the tears that thicken my throat.

" Why?" I choke out as calmly as I can, but in my head it's a mad scramble. My heart screams out to his, begging and pleading in silence. I watch as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

" It would be for the best for everyone involved," he says, and I feel my choke hold on control slipping through my fingers.

" Better for who?" I ask, my heart pounding erratically. His eyes open slowly as he leans towards me.

" Better for you," he says, running a pale finger down my face.

" You cant be serious," I say, pulling my face away from his hand. His eyes widen at my tone.

" What? You haven't talked to me in what almost three weeks, and every attempt to open the door and get you to talk to me, you turned down. What am I supposed to do, stay here knowing that you are right across the hall, so close that I can almost taste you, and pretend that it doesn't hurt me?" he asks, getting to his feet to pace furiously around my room.

" You expect me to live here knowing that you aren't across from the hall. That you aren't just a few steps away. I'm sorry Jasper, I am. I'm sorry that I held on to the anger for so long and I am sorry that I was being stupid and childish I should have just come and talked to you," he cuts me off in the middle of my tirade by crashing his lips down on mine. He wraps his hands roughly in my hair, pulling me closer to him. This kiss isn't like the kisses before. This one is fierce and angry. It softens slowly until he loosens his grip on me. He pulls away, my heart galloping fiercely.

" I'm sorry," he says, taking a step away from me.

" I'm not. Jasper, please, just don't leave," I say, tears falling down my face.

" Ana, this, what may or may not be between us, it cant happen," he says, his eyes dead and dull as if all of his emotions have floated away.

" Can we at least be friends?" I ask, stretching my hand out towards him. He takes it carefully and instead of shaking it he presses a light kiss to it.

" Friends," he says, before he turns and walks out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I stare after the closed door for a long time. My arms wrapped tightly around me as the tears fall. I look up at the pink heart balloon floating happily across my ceiling. I grab the string and walk over to my window sliding it open forcing the balloon out side. I hold onto it for a few minutes, not ready to let it go. I loosen the hold on the string and let it float through my fingers. I stick my head out of the window, watching the balloon take its flight, and along with it what little hope that I had for me and Jasper.


	15. Chapter 15: 20 Questions And Self Denial

**Authors Note: As Always Twilight and its characters are not mine, they belong to Stephanie Meyer, and I am not she. However Ana and Jade are mine and I love them :D Okay so I have to say a HUGE thank you to Everyone who have left reviews for this story :) YOU have no idea how much it means to me, so THANK YOU times a million plus one! I hope that all of the Jade fans out there enjoy this chapter because it has been done in Jade POV for the whole thing. Hope you enjoy it!!! READ REVIEW! Okay kids get your seats and enjoy chapter 15!**

Chapter 15: 20 Questions and Self Denial

**Jade's POV**

I skip down the stairs humming happily to myself. I cant even begin to explain how happy I am that Ana is going to work things out with Jasper. Those two just need to both get over themselves and admit what they feel and all would be happy in their worlds. I smile at the thought of Ana having someone like Jasper. I mean he is perfect for her, definitely better for her than Brody. I shudder to myself at the thought of that creep. I take a detour into the kitchen before I go to see Edward in search of some ice cream. I pull open the freezer door in search of my stash of mint chocolate chip goodness. I pull out the container and realize that it feel's a little empty. I open the top and see that half of my ice cream is gone. Who ate half of my ice cream. I know Ana wouldn't do it, she learned her lesson a long time ago. Rosalie has an aversion to ice cream which I still find insane. Only one person would have the guts to eat it.

"EMMETT," I yell, slamming the ice cream carton to the counter. Emmett comes running into the kitchen a look of concern on his face.

" What, what's wrong?" he asks, and his eyes drift to the open ice cream on the counter. A look of realization crosses his face.

" You. Ate. My. Ice. Cream." I say between clenched teeth as I take a step towards him.

" Oh that, see I didn't realize it was yours until I had eaten it," he says as he slowly backs away until he is up against the wall.

" What do you mean you didn't know it was mine? My name is written all over it," I say, poking a finger firmly into his chest.

" I'm sorry Jade, really I am," he says, putting on the best puppy dog face that he could muster.

" I'm mad at you," I say, walking back to my ice cream. We sit in silence for awhile, Emmett trying to get my attention any way that he can. Finally he has resorted to throwing gummy worms at me. I get caught up in the spirit of the game and start throwing them back at him and soon it escalates to a full on anything goes war. I sit on one side of the counter a water bottle and a can of whip cream in my hands, trying to not laugh hysterically.

" Are you ready to surrender?" Emmett calls out, and I shake with laughter.

" Not until you make up for eating my ice cream," I say back. It grows quiet and I almost wonder if he has fallen asleep until I hear approaching footsteps. I calculate my timing and jump up laughing as I spray whip cream all over Emmett. Or who I thought was Emmett. Instead I look into the shocked face of Edward. Oops. Emmett pops his head from around the wall and smiles a devilish grin.

" I take it that the war is over," Emmett says, putting down his weapons of choice, a two liter of Coke and a can of spray cheese. I glare over Edward's shoulder at him.

" For now, but this isn't over. You still have to make it up to me," I say, watching him laugh and walk away.

" I am so sorry about that, I thought you were Emmett," I say, grabbing a paper towel and handing it to him. He smiles brightly at me.

" What did he do this time?" he asks, wiping some whip cream from my cheek.

" Ate my ice cream," I say, blushing slightly at his touch.

" Ahh yes Emmett has the tendency to eat things that don't belong to him. He always says its because he is a growing boy, he has been using that excuse since he was ten," he says, helping me clean up the mess that Emmett and I had created.

" Where's Ana?" he asks, throwing away the final bit of trash.

" Upstairs, talking to Jasper," I say, hopping up onto the counter. He looks at me for a minute, as if he is trying to read my thoughts.

" Well, hopefully those two will finally work things out," he says, walking over to stand in front of me.

" They better, I am not spending a night away from my comfortable bed just for them to not work things out," I say, kicking my legs back and forth. He leans forward bracing his hands on either side of my hips, looking at me.

" So for the night you have no room?" he asks, running a hand softly up my arm.

" That's right. For the night I have no room," I say, shivering slightly at his touch. I am caught of guard briefly when he picks me up easily throwing me over his shoulder.

" Well we cant have that," he says, carrying me to his room. My heart hammers in my chest at the thought of spending the whole night with him, and I cross my fingers hoping that nothing happens to interrupt us this time.

Edward is lucky. He has, from what I have seen, the best bathroom in the house. I step out of the shower wrapping a soft black towel around myself. The room is filled with warm steam and I wipe my hand over the mirror so that I can look at myself. Okay so jumping in the shower wasn't exactly the first thing I wanted to do when Edward carried me to his room, but he made a good point when he pointed out that he would rather not have dried food in his sheets. I pick up the clothes that he handed me and look at them. A plain blue shirt and a pair of shorts. I get dressed quickly and step out of the bathroom and into his room. He takes my breath away. He lays shirtless on his bed and looks so relaxed. He turns his head to look at me, a slow smile spreading across his face.

" I have to say, you look really cute in my clothes," he says, turning onto his side patting the empty space next to him. I smile smugly to myself.

" I would have to agree with you," I say, climbing on the bed laying next to him. He wraps him arm around me, and I snuggle closer to him my head laying on his shoulder. He toys with my fingers and we lay their in perfect silence. I sit up quickly and look at him.

" What?" he asks, and I smile as he sits up too.

" Let's play a game," I say, bouncing slightly on his bed.

" What kind of game?" he asks, sounding kind of wary of the idea.

" Twenty questions. I mean come on Edward, we have spent some time together and we have even kissed a few times, and don't get me wrong I loved the kissing, but I want to get to know you," I say, running my fingers lazily through my hair.

" I will go first," he says a light of playfulness in his eyes. " What is your favorite color?"

I roll my eyes at the question.

" Its orange, what's yours?" I ask back, truly wondering about his favorite color.

" Blue," he says laughing.

The questions continue, ranging from favorite foods to most embarrassing moments. It isn't until we pass the twenty question mark that we come down to the serious questions.

" What is your biggest fear?" Edward asks, running a hand down my hair. About half way through the game I moved back to my spot laying my head on his shoulder. I think about this question seriously.

" My biggest fear is not making a difference. I want to be able to say when my time comes to leave this earth that I made a difference in at least one persons life," I say, regretting that I answered the question as honestly as I did. I never really opened up to anyone except Ana, so the fact that I can open up to Edward so easily leaves me feeling kind of vulnerable. It grows quiet for a moment, and I can tell that Edward is contemplating what I just said.

" What was your longest relationship?" I ask the first thing coming that comes to mind. I feel his body stiffen slightly and his hand that was running through my hair stops moving.

" Almost three years," he says, his voice sounds distant and almost cold.

" I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked," I say, turning to look at him.

" No its okay, you don't know about that situation. So I am sorry for reacting that way," he says, a small smile lighting his eyes.

" Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, and he sighs heavily.

" What is there to talk about? Bella was my life, for almost three years all I thought about was her, and she decided one day that it wasn't enough, that I wasn't enough," he says, his voice swimming in bitterness. I look at him and feel like crying. Whoever this bitch is, is lucky she isn't around or I would seriously pound her face in.

" I'm sorry Edward," I say, and he just shrugs his shoulders. I react from instinct. I lean in and kiss him. It starts out sweet and innocent. It doesn't stay that way for long though. Before I can catch my breathe Edward rolls me over so that I am on my back my hands in his hair pulling him closer to me. I can feel his hand running up my sides, lifting my shirt as he goes, his fingers exploring my skin. I sigh into his lips and let him take me wherever it is that he needs to go.

I open my eyes slowly, blinking against the soft sun that peaks through the curtains of Edward's room. I smile when I remember the night before and I look over to find myself alone in the bed. My heart drops a little as I sit up, clutching his sheet to my chest. I look at the clock and it reads just five minutes after eight. I can hear the water running in Edward's bathroom and I fall backwards letting my head bounce against the pillows. I shouldn't take this so hard. Its not like I am naïve enough to believe that sex is a promise of something more. It is what it is. Usually I wouldn't be so bothered by all of this, only this time it was different. Everything with Edward is different. The way he talks to me, the way he looks at me, the way he touches me. What I feel for him has slowly been growing from the first time I say him. I wont deny that lust was the first thing I felt for him, but my lord who can blame me. I saw a new side of him last night. In that one moment when he seemed so vulnerable. I stare at the ceiling lost in deep thinking, when Edwards voice snaps me from my own personal retrospection.

" Did I wake you?" he asks, running a towel lazily over his wet hair. I look over at him.

" No," I say, sitting up again, wrapping his sheet firmly around me.

" Okay good, so uhm listen I have to go. You are more than welcome to stay in here as long as you like," he says, and with that he leaves the room. That's it? I don't even get a generic, 'I had a really good time last night' from him. I sit in wonder for a minute before I get up and get dressed. I start to head for the door when something shiny at the top of his closet catches my attention. I stop for a second, seriously debating with myself on whether or not to find out what it is. Finally I pull it down from the top of the closet and staring back at me is a beautiful picture. The smile on Edward's face hits me like a fist in my stomach. But what draws my attention even more is the girl in the picture with him. She is beautiful, its undeniable. Her pale skin and brown hair should have clashed but somehow it just made her beauty that much more striking. So this must be Bella,' I think to myself. I stare at the picture for a long time. I finally put the picture away and walk out of Edward's room. Looks like Jasper isn't the only one who is still hung up on a girl he cant have back,' I think darkly to myself as I stomp my up the stairs. Oh well, its not like I'm in love with him. I'm not in love with him. Oh crap, I am in love with him.


	16. Chapter 16: You Have To Love Halloween

**Author's Note: Hey Everyone! Amber here, not Stephanie Meyer so with that said I dont own Twilight or its characters!! Ana and Jade are all mine though:D Anyways, a HUGE thank you to everyone who has left reviews seriously you guys rock my socks :D So big apologies if this chapter isnt the greatest but I promise it will get better after this one!!! So READ, REVIEW, and ENJOY :)SIt back, Relax, and enjoy Chapter 16 :D**

Chapter 16: You Just Have To Love Halloween

I have been awake for the last hour strumming my guitar. Last night had to have been one of the worst nights of my life. I was left with an empty feeling and in turn I tossed and turned all night unable to turn my head off. I finally gave up on sleep and instead turned to music. Music has always been able to make everything okay again. I strum as quietly as I can until Jade slamming the door open makes my hands freeze. She doesn't look happy. I set my guitar down and look at her.

" Jade what's wrong?" I ask, walking over to where she stands. She is shaking from head to toe anger pulsing off of her.

" Boys, boys are so, they are so, grr" she says, stomping over to the closet. That is always a bad sign. Jade can always come up with something to say, and when all she can say is grr I know that it isn't anything good. I watch as she storms around our room. I grab her by the shoulders to stop her.

" Talk to me, what happened?" I ask, and she sits down on the floor. A sudden guilty look crossing her face. " You slept with him didn't you?" It's silent for a moment and I know that she did before she can even answer me.

" Yes okay, I did. That wasn't my intention though, it just, kind of happened. We started talking and playing twenty questions, and then he got upset when I brought a rough subject, so I kissed him to make him feel better, and one thing led to another. I will save you the details," she says, running her hands nervously through her hair. Something had to have happened to have her this shook up.

" Okay so you slept with him, and this is a bad thing why?" I ask, looking at her. I was thoroughly bewildered.

" It's a bad thing because he left first thing this morning. He didn't say anything to me, just said he had to go. What's worse is I found a picture of him and his ex in his closet," she says and I look at her shocked.

" You snooped through his closet? That doesn't sound like you at all Jade, that sounds like something that someone in love would do," I say, and as soon as the words leave my mouth I realize that what I just said was true. She was in love. " You love him don't you?"

" I have no idea what you are talking about," she says trying to sound blasé. I look at her like she is crazy.

" Are you kidding me Jade, you are over the moon in love and you know it. Or else you wouldn't be so upset by the idea of Edward having a picture of his ex in his closet," I say as I scoot over to sit next to her. I wrap my arm around her shoulder. I can feel her pain.

" So what if I am in love with him. It's perfectly clear that he isn't over Bella. Ugh, even her name is pretty," she says rolling her head onto my shoulder. I pat her head and laugh a little.

" Welcome to the club my friend," I say, chuckling as she laughs a watery laugh. She twirls her finger in the air.

" This blows," she says finally after a short silence.

" Definitely blows," I agree with her. It's hard being in love, even worse when you are in love alone.

" For the one hundredth and fifty sixth time Jade I am not wearing that for the Halloween party," I say staring at Jade like she is insane. The costume she is holding in her hands is barely that. Its two scraps of cloth that would barely cover me. I am comfortable with my body, not comfortable enough to walk out of the front door wearing that though. She sighs dramatically at that.

" Come on Ana, we have been in this store for over an hour, I am tired and hungry, and if we don't hurry up everyone is going to go to lunch without us," she whines as she puts the costume back on the rack. We all decided to road trip up to Bellevue in search of our costumes for the Halloween party that Rosalie was set on throwing. I love Rosalie's parties don't get me wrong, I do, but seeing how the last one ended, I cant help but to be a bit worried.

" It isn't my fault that you found your outfit so easily, not everyone can go as Alice from Alice in Wonderland," I say, turning back to browse through the costumes again. " You know what I want to go as?" I ask looking at Jade.

" What?" Jade asks, her face lighting up.

" Juliet," I say and she beams at me. " You remember in the movie? When Juliet has to dress up for the party and she wears that beautiful whit dress and the wings? That's what I want to wear."

" Okay, so lets go meet everyone for lunch and you can talk to Rosalie. I am sure she will be able to tell you where you can find something like that," she says picking up her bags.

" All right," I say, and we link arms skipping from the store like we are back in junior high.

" Seriously Rosalie? Where did you find this dress?" I ask as I stand in my closet looking at my reflection in the mirror. It's perfect, exactly what I pictured. It looks like it was pulled straight from the movie.

" Haven't you learned anything yet Ana? I know how to find anything I want," she says laughing as I spin a slight circle. My costume was complete. I found the wings to go with the outfit a few days before, and now I had the dress.

" So what time does the party start tomorrow?" I ask, stepping out of the closet. Holding the dress delicately in my hands in search of the hanger. I finally find it under my discarded sweater.

" It starts at nine, but the real fun usually doesn't start until ten, ten thirty," she says smiling at me as I hang up my dress carefully.

" Okay, so how much do I owe you for the dress?" I ask, opening my purse in search for my wallet.

" A hundred dollars," she says holding her palm out to me. I pull the money from my wallet and gladly pay her, because Lord knows that if she hadn't found me the dress or else I would have had to wear something totally generic.

" Well, I better get going, or I am going to be late for work. I love you Rose, thank you so much for finding me the dress I owe you more than the hundred dollars I will find a way to pay you back for it later," I say, grabbing my bag before I stop to hug her and rush to the front door. I rush down the stairs and to the front door not paying attention when I run right into Jasper.

" Oh, sorry," I say on a laugh, grabbing onto his arm so that I don't fall backwards. " I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going."

" Oh no its okay," he says a smile on his face. " Where you off to in such a hurry?"

" Work. I have to go in early if I want to have a long weekend," I say trying to walk past him.

" Oh hey look, I parked behind your car so why don't you let me drive you in," he says, walking out of the door behind me. 'Anything to spend more time with you,' I think to myself.

" Oh no its okay, really you don't have to do that," I say walking towards my car. He smiles broadly at me.

" I know that I don't have to Ana, I want to," he says, and I smile at him.

" Well if you insist," I say sliding into his car. The drive to work was quick and comfortably quiet.

" So, what time do you get off?" Jasper asks, walking me to the door.

" Around ten tonight, you don't have to come all the way back to get me, I can get a ride from Jade or something," I say, stopping in front of the door.

" No its okay I will be here, see you then," he says, and he leans down and gives me a hug. I watch him walk away and a million emotions rush through me but the strongest is confusion. I turn to see Brody staring at me through the window. Oh boy. I haven't talked to Brody since the night that he and Jasper got into their fight. I swallow hard as I walk into the building.

" Looks like you and Jasper made up quickly," he says, his tone almost accusatory. I smile at him.

" Yeah I guess you could say that," I reply, pressing the up button on the elevator. He follows me into the elevator and its an awkward silence that falls between us.

" Hey what are you doing tomorrow?" he asks suddenly as the doors open slowly.

" Rosalie is throwing a party at our place, huge thing. Costumes and all that fun stuff," I say smiling at him. He looks angry for a second before saying anything else.

" Oh okay, well hey maybe you can stop by my party," he offers nonchalantly.

" Yeah maybe, we'll see. Okay well off to work I go," I say, turning to walk to my office. I get he chills and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I look over my shoulder and he stands there staring at me darkly.

" Hey Jade, I was just calling to see how much longer you think it would be before you get home from the lab. Was hoping maybe you would want to have a good old girls night seeing as how Rosalie is going to be working us to the bone tomorrow setting up for the party. Anyways, call me, text me, or I will just see you at the house. Ciao" I say brightly to Jade's voicemail. I click off the light to my office and walk into the deserted hall way. I press the button and wrap my arms around myself listening to the hum of the elevator. The sound of footsteps makes my heart start beating fiercely in my chest. A heavy hand falls onto my shoulder making me scream and jump. I spin quickly around to see Brody bathed in shadows. I press my hand to my galloping heart.

" Damn it Brody, you scared the hell out of me," I say, catching my breathe. I look at him and there is a weird gleam in his eye. I take a step back from him.

" What are you still doing here? I thought I was the only one staying late tonight," I say, backing up against the elevator door.

" I wanted to wait for you, make sure you got home okay," he says, stepping past me into the awaiting elevator. I tap my foot nervously as the elevator descends and I pray that Jasper is outside waiting for me. I step out into the cool night air my eyes searching for any sign of Jasper. I don't see him.

" Looks like your ride is late. I can give you a lift if you want," Brody says, and I look over at him a feeling of unease coursing through my body. I open my phone and call Jasper.

'Hey you have reaches Jasper's phone, leave me a message and I will get back to you, beep.' I click my phone off and snap it shut. Unbelievable.

" No that's okay, it's a pretty decent night out, so I can walk," I say as I start walking past him. He grabs my arm and turns me to look at him.

" Ana, come on it's late please just let me give you a ride," he says and his grip tightens on my arm. I wince from the pain.

" Brody your hurting me," I say and instead of him loosening his grip on me he tightens it. He is holding me so tightly that I swear that he is going to end up breaking my arm.

" Why wont you just take the ride Ana?" he asks, his eyes have a strange gleam in them and they are blood shot. He looks like he is high off of something.

" Brody please let go of my arm," I say again, and I try pulling away from him.

" I thought you liked me Ana, I thought that you and me could have something special," he says pushing me against the brick wall of the building.

" Brody I'm sorry if I made you think that there was going to be anything between us, but I only look at you as a friend," I say, trying to keep my tone light and full of sympathy. He shoves me against the wall harder my head connecting harshly against the brick.

" Why Ana, why? Because you are obsessed with Jasper? Don't you see that he will never feel for you the way I do?" he asks and then he crashes his lips to mine. I keep my mouth firmly shit as I struggle against his hold. I starts screaming in my head for someone, anyone to save me. Then the weight of Brody is gone and I slide down the wall gasping for air. I look up to see Jasper punching Brody continuously. I get to my feet and grab his arm.

" Jasper, stop," I say pulling him off of Brody. " Your going to kill him, please just stop." Jasper looks at me his eyes dark with fury. They lighten instantly and he reaches out taking my face into his hands.

" Are you okay?" he asks, running his hands all over my face and my shoulders like he is checking to make sure that I'm all right and in one piece.

" Yeah, a little shaky, but I'm okay," I say, holding onto his arms. He takes me to his car and puts me in before he walks to where Brody lays on the ground. Their voices are muffled through the car door but I strain to hear what is being said. Brody gets to his feet and for a second I am scared that he is going to attack Jasper but instead he just walks away like nothing happened. Jasper climbs into the car and just stares out of the windshield.

" I'm sorry Ana, I'm sorry that I was late," he says, looking at me his eyes lit with remorse.

" Jasper, it isn't your fault. He has problems, he looks like he is high off of something and he thinks that I have feelings for him that just aren't there," I say, running a shaky hand through my hair. I sit in the silence of the car and swallow hard trying to get the taste of Brody off of my lips. Jasper reaches over and places a hand on my shoulder. I look up and see him staring at me.

" Are you ready to go home?" he asks, and I nod unable to speak. He starts the car and we head home in silence.

I wake up with a jolt when I realize that someone is jumping on my bed.

" Wake up, wake up, wake up," Emmett calls out in a sing song voice. I look at the clock and see that it reads just after six.

" Are you kidding me Em, its barely six and you are bouncing on my bed singing at the top of your lungs, why?" I ask, throwing one of my pillows at him.

" Well it was either I come and wake you up the nice way or Rosalie come wake you up the mean way. One thing you haven't experienced first hand is Rosalie when she is in party mode, so you should thank your lucky starts that I'm the one waking you up," Emmett says sitting on my bed. I lay my head back down and groan loudly into my pillow. He reaches over and ruffles my hair playfully and I swipe at his hands laughing slightly.

" Come on half-pint, lets get downstairs before Rosalie comes and tears both of our heads off," he says, holding his hand out to me. I take it grudgingly. I didn't fall asleep until after two. Once I got home I sat down and told Jade everything and she was mad. No mad doesn't describe what she was, livid is more like it. It took me an hour to talk her out of going to Brody's and kicking his ass herself. I walk down the stairs half asleep following the smell of fresh coffee. I walk into the kitchen where Jade, Rosalie, and Jasper are talking and drinking coffee.

" Good morning sunshine," Jade says, her happy voice makes me cringe. Jade is only a morning person on a few days out of the year, Halloween being one of them. I grunt at her as I pour a cup of coffee.

" Oh someone is a grumpy Gus this morning," she says and I lovingly flip her off as I take my first hit of caffeine.

" Okay so I have made lists for everyone and what I need them to do. Please stick to the list people. Remember the list is your friend," Rosalie says as she hands everyone their lists of tasks. I look at mine and groan. Of course I'm on candy run. Great. Not to mention I have to help set up the haunted house she wants, decorate the kitchen, make the punch and the list just goes on and on.

" Happy Halloween everyone," Rosalie calls out as she sails out of the kitchen. Oh yeah, happy Halloween all right.

I stand back and admire my decorating skills. The beautiful pristine kitchen has been successfully transformed into something out of a horror movie. I check the time and realize that its almost eight o'clock and I haven't seen anyone but Emmett for the last hour. I walk to the back room where he is putting the finishing touches on the 'haunted house.'

" Hey Em," I call out stepping over a mutilated corpse.

" Yeah," he calls out popping his head over a black sheet smiling.

" You know when everyone else is supposed to be back?" I ask, poking my head over the sheet to see what he is working on.

" Any minute now I'm guessing. I know Rose will be at least because she is going to take up every minute that she is home to get ready," he says, wiping his hands on his jeans.

" Okay well I finished all of my tasks, so I am going to run upstairs and get into the shower before anyone else gets home and takes all of the hot water. Tell Rose that if she has a problem with anything I did she kiss my ass," I say playfully as I walk from the room. Emmett's booming laugh follows me up the stairs and I smile as I walk into the bathroom.

The party has been in full swing for almost an hour when I find Jade laughing in the kitchen talking to Edward. No one knew what Edward was planning to come as until he came to the party dressed at the Mad Hatter. I have to hand it to the guy, he knows how to make up for being a complete ass. I stand and watch them as they talk and realize just how right for each other that they are. I just wish that they knew it, I think to myself. I have been thoroughly impressed by peoples costumes, my favorite by far though is Rosalie and Emmett's. Danny and Sandy from Grease. Priceless. I walk over to Jade smiling as I go.

" Hey guys having fun?" I ask, sipping from the cup in my hand.

" Oh yeah," Jade says, smiling up at Edward.

" So who exactly are you supposed to be?" Edward asks looking at me questioningly. I glare at him.

" Juliet," I say just a tad bit annoyed. This isn't the first time I was asked this question tonight. You would think people have never watched movies before.

" Oh from the movie, I get it now," he says laughing at me. I beam at him glad that he finally got it.

" So has anyone seen Jasper?" I ask, looking around the room. I see Jade and Edward exchange a look and I know that they are hidings something.

" Nope haven't seen him," they both say at once only adding to my suspicions.

" Uh huh sure," I say, and before I can press the further they walk out of the kitchen together Edward expertly timing his request to dance with Jade. Fine they don't want to tell me that's fine. It doesn't matter anyways, if I see Jasper or not tonight. Of course it matters. I fight with myself internally when there is a soft tapping on my shoulder. I turn around and stare at a life size version of Romeo. I stare shocked at Jasper as he removes his mask. His hair falling into his eyes.

" I hope you don't mind, it's just that Rose and Em, and Edward and Jade were all coming kind of together, so," he says, smiling almost boyishly. I shake my head in awe.

" No, no I don't mind at all," I say, trying my hardest not to stare at him.

" Good," he says smiling at me happily. We talk for a few minutes as we walk through the party.

" Jasper, Ana, come dance," Jade calls from the other room where she, Edward, Rose, and Emmett are all dancing together happily. I look up at Jasper as he holds a hand out to me.

" Care to dance, Juliet?" he asks, as he takes my hand pressing a light kiss to it.

" Why not, Romeo," I say laughing as he leads me to the dance floor. In this moment I look around at the smiling faces and realize that we have all bonded. Jade and I came into this house as strangers and some where along the way we have all become more than friends, we are like family.


	17. Chapter 17: Momma, I'm Coming Home

**Author's Note: I am not nor have I ever been Stephanie Meyer therfore i do not own Twilight or its beautiful characters....I do however HAPPILY and PROUDLY own Ana and Jade. Thank you to everyone who has been so awesome in reviewing and reading seriously you guys make my day everyday :D Okay so this is a pretty good chapter though it ends on a horrible note and I am sorry for that, but I thought it would be the best way to set up for the things to come :D The big suprise is that the next TWO chapters are going to be full JADE chapters haha! I am getting reviews asking for more Jade so you guys are getting what you have asked for! I love you guys. Read, Review, & Enjoy Chapter 17 :D**

Chapter 17: Momma, I'm Coming Home

I wake up realizing that I am not alone. I pop my head up and see that at some point after the party we all managed to fall asleep in the same room. I lay my head back down because its spinning slightly and my stomach feels hollow. I look around and see Rosalie and Emmett sleeping soundly wrapped around each other. Edward's arm is draped over Jade's waist and they too are asleep. I roll over and come face to face with Jasper's sleeping face. I smile to myself as I cuddle into him. He moves his arm pulling me closer to him so that my head is cushioned on his chest.

" Morning," he says, and I smile into his chest. " Morning," I say back pulling the blanket up and over my shoulder. " What time do you think we all fell asleep?" I ask running my nails up and down his back.

" I don't know, shortly after you did your impression of a striptease," he says into my hair and I pull away looking at him.

" What are you talking about?" I ask feeling utterly perplexed.

" You remember, everyone left and we all changed out of our costumes. You and Jade then proceeded to come back down stairs and eat about three or four pounds of candy and that is when all of the fun began," he says, chuckling as he toys with my hair.

" Just how good of an impression did I do?" I ask feeling the heat rush to my face.

" Oh it was Pg-13 heading to an R rating until Jade stopped you," he says laughing. I groan as I bury my head into his chest.

" See this is what happens when I eat too much candy," I say rolling away from his hold to throw my arm over my face in utter embarrassment. He rolls with me so that he is looking down at me smiling.

" Don't be embarrassed Ana, I thought it was kind of, sexy," he says leaning down close to my face. He leans down and kisses me softly. I kiss back unsure of what to do. This catches me off guard, this isn't like Jasper at all. I sink into the kiss until my stomach begins rolling. I pull away quickly and Jasper looks down at me confused.

" What's wrong?" he asks sitting up to look at me. I open my mouth to answer and immediately clamp my hand over my mouth. I get up as fast as I can and run to the closest bathroom where I proceed to throw up. I don't even notice Jasper is in the bathroom with me until I feel him pulling my hair out of my face. I sit back on my heels feeling completely drained.

" You okay?" he asks as he leans over to flush the toilet.

" Yeah, just fine. Ugh, candy hangovers are the worst," I say resting my head back against the wall. He laughs loudly as he sits down across from me.

" Candy hangover?" he asks looking at me an amused look on his face.

" A term Jade and I came up with after finals one year," I say, " We both crammed so hard because our moms told us that if we passed the finals that we could go on this trip to Cancun that we had been begging them for. So we took all of our finals, waited the week to find out if we passed and when we found out that we did we celebrated by having an all weekend candy fest. When we woke up on Sunday morning we both got sick and felt like we had been drinking all weekend instead of indulging in candy. Hence the term Candy Hangover," I say smiling at the memory. We talk for a long time before Jade comes stumbling into the bathroom a sick look on her face.

" You guys will want to move unless you want to get puked on," she says slowly as she holds her stomach. Jasper and I both walk around her and she shuts the door behind us. I talk into the door.

" Candy hangover?" I ask, trying my hardest not to laugh. The noises coming from the bathroom confirm my suspicions and I fall to the floor laughing hysterically with Jasper.

" So let me get this straight, Jasper kisses you and you throw up?" Emmett asks as he shovels another bite of pancake into his mouth.

" Well yes, but it wasn't because he kissed me that I threw up," I say, trying my hardest not to blush.

" Okay sure whatever you say. I always knew his kissing repelled people," Emmett laughs out and I smack his arm.

" Oh shut up Emmett," Rosalie says easily as she gets up from the table to wash her plate.

" Yeah what Rose said, shut up Emmett," Jasper says glaring at him from across the table. I laugh at them and continue to eat my breakfast.

" So does anyone have any pressing and exciting plans this weekend?" Rosalie asks staring at all of us. A month of living with Rosalie has taught me a lot. She is about to, in the easy way that she has perfected, ask all of us to do something.

" No, nothing exciting planned," I say, pushing my plate away from me.

" Oh great so you all can help clean up," she says smiling as we all groan as she breezes out of the room.

" You just had to tell her that we had no plans didn't you?" Jade asks jokingly.

" Well we don't so what was I supposed to do lie?" I ask getting up to take my plate to the sink.

" Yes," four voices yell at me. I roll my eyes and laugh preparing for a long hard day of cleaning.

Surprisingly under the watchful eyes of Rosalie it didn't take us as long as I feared it would. I walk downstairs happily changed into clean clothes to find everyone in the living room about to watch a movie.

" What are you guys going to watch?" I ask leaning against the couch that Jade and Edward are sitting on.

" We are having a horror movie marathon," Emmett says beaming as he pops a DVD into the player. I look at him questioningly and he rolls his eyes dramatically.

" It's a tradition, the day after Halloween we clean up and then we sit around and watch horror movies all day long, we've done this since high school," he says as he sits next to Rosalie draping an arm around her as she cuddles into him. I look around and see that Edward and Jade are sprawled out on the couch, Jade's head in his lap running his fingers through her hair nonchalantly.

" Well are you going to come sit down or stand for the whole thing?" Jasper asks patting the spot on the floor next to him. I blush deeply as I walk slowly to sit next to him. I lay back against the couch and Jasper wraps his arm over my shoulder pulling me into him, and I smile to myself. Things seem to be looking up, perhaps Jasper has had a change of heart,' I think to myself. No probably not, but a girl can wish, and believe me I this girl is wishing.

Half way through the movie I am so caught up in the gore that any movement or sound that someone makes causes me to jump. This gets a few hardy laughs out of Emmett and I blush, embarrassed to admit that when it comes to horror movies, no matter how cheesy, I get terrified. Emmett pauses the movie much to the protests of everyone.

" Bathroom and snack break," he says loudly as he bounds from the room in the direction of the bathroom. I stretch luxuriously and Jasper grabs my hand helping me to my feet.

" I am going to get some popcorn," I say, as I walk into the kitchen. I stand listening to the popping in the microwave and I cant help but feel happy. I don't know what has gotten into Jasper, but I cant say that I am complaining. The sound of the door bell catches my attention as I dump popcorn into a bowl. I walk out of the kitchen eating as I go and look up just in time to see Alice and Mike settling onto the floor by the couch that Rosalie and Emmett are occupying. I feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I realize that the presence of Alice is going to change everything. ' Why did she have to show up? Does she have like some sort of radar set so that whenever she see's me and Jasper getting close a little alarm goes off in her head and she has to come and rain on my parade, with her perfect little figure and her perfect pixie face?' I ask myself trying my hardest to keep my face blank of all emotions. Instinctively I make Jade scoot over so that I can sit with her and Edward, because I would rather be the first to make the move instead of having Jasper shun me yet again in front of his ex-love. Jasper walks back into the room and I look over my shoulder and see him freeze when he notices the new additions to our little party. He covers quickly though and looks at me a smile on his face.

" What you don't want to sit with me anymore Ana? Am I that bad of a movie buddy?" he asks, taking his seat in front of me. I smile at this thinking that maybe Jasper has in fact changed his mind and decided that pining after Alice just isn't worth it anymore. I shake my head as I slide off of the couch to sit close to him. Emmett starts the movie again and the room grows quiet except for a few smart remarks by the guys about how obviously fake the movie is. I set the popcorn aside when I get full and fiddle nervously with the end of my hair. I hear Jasper chuckle lightly to himself and I look over at him a blush creeping along my cheeks.

" You seem jumpy. You cant honestly be scared by this," he whispers and I blush even deeper.

" A little," I say smiling at him. He reaches up and takes my hand lacing his fingers with mine. I lay my head on his shoulder and I smile when I realize that this feels right. Being like this is so simple, there is no pushing to make it feel okay. It's just, perfect. It isn't until the end of the movie that I realize that Jasper has loosened his hold on my hand. I look up at him and realize that he is staring over at Alice and Mike who have decided that making out with each other is far more entertaining than the blood and guts playing out before us. The look in his eye is unreadable. I cant make out what he is thinking. I let go of his hand completely and sit up stretching dramatically so that he will think I just needed to move a little. I lean back against the couch and Jasper immediately takes my hand into his pulling me to him. I start to feel uncomfortable when Jasper leans over and whispers into my ear.

" Relax," he says, and with that word its as if my body follows his command. From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet every muscle relaxes almost as if I am in no control of my body. He starts kissing my neck sweetly and I cant help but to lean back exposing more of my throat to his mouth. I am so lost in the sensation that I don't even notice Emmett changing the movie until he steps on my outstretched foot by accident.

" Ouch, damn it Emmett," I say pulling my foot back leaning down to rub it.

" Sorry," he says sheepishly as he walks back to his seat. Jasper grabs my waist and pulls me back so that I am laying against him. I feel him pull my hair from my shoulder so that he can go back to his assault on my neck. A little voice calls from the back of my head that he is probably only doing this to see if it gets a rise out of Alice, but I silence it quickly not wanting to believe that is why he is doing this. Jasper catches me off guard when he lifts his hand to my face and turns me to face him. He kisses me deeply and I tense up as he wraps his hand around my neck pulling me into him. Stop, just stop, my mind screams at me in self defense but my body and my heart fight against my better judgment as I wrap my hands into his hair almost possessively. Jasper finally pulls away a smug smile on his lips and I smile back at him. As the day progresses I take a not out of Jade's book stretching out so that my head is in Jasper's lap. I try my hardest to stay awake but I am so over come with the feeling of relaxation. My eyes flutter close and my heart seems to sigh, finally content.

I wake up to the sounds of raised voices. I sit up slowly and notice that everyone is gone except for Edward and Jade who are sleeping peacefully on the couch. I follow the voices to the kitchen and pause outside of the door when I realize that the people caught up in the heated fight are Jasper and Alice.

" Jasper, what you are doing is unfair to her. How could you be so selfish?" Alice asks her voice accusing. There is a short pause and I listen, my heart beating harshly in my chest.

" I am not doing anything Alice but having a little bit of fun, she knows that it doesn't mean anything," Jasper's voice shoots back, and I can feel my world crumbling away from my feet.

" No, she doesn't, and you know that," she says her voice angry.

" Well if she doesn't know that then that isn't my fault is it? Why should I be held accountable for anyone else's feelings, when no one else is? Because I feel more? How is that fair?" he hisses out and he slams a cabinet door making me jump.

" You know why you are held accountable Jasper, and I don't have to spell it out for you. You need to get over this Jasper, I have seen the way that this can turn out if you would just get over yourself. Jazz we tried, and it didn't work, it wasn't your fault nor was it mine, it just wasn't meant to be," Alice says and I am caught off guard by her remarks. What is she a psychic or something? That would explain her eccentricity. " You need to open your eyes and realize that, and you need to stop playing this sick game with her, she doesn't deserve it, she is just a girl who is in love." I blush and fight tears at the same time because not only is Alice, the girl who I have begrudged from the moment I saw her, sticking up for me, but she knows exactly how I feel and I didn't even have to tell her.

" It isn't my fault if she is stupid enough to fall in love with me," he says through his teeth. The feeling that rocks through me is unfamiliar. Its almost as if I am experiencing an out of body experience. Like I am watching myself hear all of these things, hearing the man that I am in love with much to my own dismay, talk so cruelly about me. As if I don't matter, as if I was only a convenience. I walk around the corner and into the kitchen. I clear my throat carefully and Alice and Jasper turn to look at me. Sympathy pulsed off of Alice, I can see it written all over her face and it gleams in her eyes. Jasper just stands looking at me shock rocking his facial expressions.

" Ana, I'm," Jasper starts and I just shake my head cutting him off.

" I have just a few things to say. I'm sorry Alice. I have held such a strong grudge against you, because for a while now I looked at you like you were what was standing between what I wanted to have with Jasper. I can see now that you have been nothing but sincere in your efforts to befriend me," I say my voice shaking slightly before I turn my attention and wrath towards Jasper. " What I am most sorry for though is for falling for you. For not once or twice but three times allowing you to cloud my better judgment. I should have stayed as far away from you as I could the first time you dragged me into this pathetic game. I can assure you though, that I wont be stupid enough, as you put it, to fall for it again. As far as I am concerned if I never see you again a day in my life it wont hurt me much," I say tears falling down my cheeks, even as the torrent of emotions takes over I square my shoulders and hold my head high as I walk out of the kitchen. I walk as calmly as I can to my room not wanting to wake Jade. I get to my room and its as if I am running off of autopilot. I pull out my familiar pink duffle bag and start packing clothes. I zip up my bag before I reach for a notebook and pen. I start writing.

' Jade, I know that you are going to be so mad when you wake up and realize that I am gone, and I am sorry for that. I am going home to California, and I don't know how long I will be gone, or if I will come back at all. Just know that I don't want you to come back here for me. I love you girl, and you have so much going for you with the work at the lab, and Edward. I will miss you every day that I am gone, and I will call you when I am ready to talk. Love always and forever your best friend, Ana." I fold up the note and lay it on her pillow. I walk out of my room and down the stairs quietly. I stop to look at Jade and Edward still sleeping soundly on the couch and through the pain I smile knowing that my best friend is happy. I blow a kiss in their direction as I walk through the door.

I sit at a gas station and pull out my cell phone. Tears cloud my eyes as I dial the familiar phone number. It rings three times before the answering machine a home picks up.

" Momma, I'm coming home," I say my voice constricted with tears. I click my phone off and start my car. Washington was a bad idea, the worst idea I ever had.


	18. Chapter 18:So This Is What It Is To Be

**Author's Note: Hello all of my fellow fanfic fanatics!! I sadly, still do not own Twilight or its characters! However I am the proud owner of Ana and Jade and they are pretty spiffy :D So as promised this is the first of possibly three installments of all Jade Chapters!!! I hope that you all enjoy it. I am tackling the task of showing Jade's more emotional side so bare with me if at first it isnt that great! I love you guys for the AMAZING reviews and tell you with all of my heart that you guys are what is keeping me inspired to breathing new life into this story! With all that mushy stuff said, sit back relax, READ, REVIEW, AND ENJOY Chapter 18!!!!!!!**

Chapter 18: So This Is What It Is To Be Alone

**Jade's POV**

I can see the flashing of lights behind my eyelids and I groan as I roll over and right onto the floor.

" Damn it," I say throwing my arm over my eyes and I hear snickering. I open my eyes and stare into the smiling face of Emmett. " What are you doing?"

" Oh nothing, just taking sickly adorable and vomit inducing pictures of you and Edward cuddled on the couch," he says waving a digital camera in front of my face. I glare at him angrily and make a reach for the camera. He pulls it just out of my reach laughing at me.

" Nope I don't think so Jade, these are going to be awesome on my myspace page," he says a teasing tone in his voice.

" You wouldn't dare," I say looking at him threateningly.

" Oh but I would, but who knows maybe I can be bought of, for a price," he says looking at me seriously.

" Name it," I say through clenched teeth. I don't care what the price is, I don't want pictures of me anywhere. Ana has a hard enough time getting me to take pictures and she is my best friend.

" I want the rest of your mint chocolate chip ice cream," he says, looking at me innocently. Come on now that's just hitting below the belt. I seriously consider it. 'Hmm, pictures on myspace, or losing my ice cream?' I think to myself, what the hell I can always buy more ice cream.

" Fine, eat the damn ice cream, but first you have to swear to me that you wont post those pictures, or else I will tell Rosalie that I saw you walking out of the student clinic carrying a prescription for herpes cream," I say and I smile smugly to myself. His smile falters slightly and I high five myself invisibly.

" Fair enough," he says looking through the pictures he had just taken. I look around and realize that other than Edward still sleeping on the couch , Emmett and I are the only ones in the room.

" Where is everyone?" I ask, sitting up stretching.

" I don't know, Rose and I left to get something to eat and when we came back everyone but you two seemed to have disappeared," he says shrugging his shoulders. I get to my feet throwing a blanket nonchalantly over Edward's sleeping form.

" Maybe Ana is upstairs," I say more to myself than to Emmett as I walk towards the stairs. I walk lazily to our room contemplating the fact that, sleeping, wrapped warmly in Edward's arms, is the best sleep I have gotten in a long time. I open the door to my room and look around.

" Ana," I call out wondering half-heartedly if she is in the closet. A piece of folded paper on my pillow catches my attention. I pick it up and recognize Ana's neat, girly handwriting. I open the paper half smiling. I think the last time Ana left me a note was when we were in high school. Immediately my happy thoughts of ridiculous randomness that usually awaits in a note from my best friend falls away from me. 'I don't know how long I will be gone, or if I will come back at all,' echoes in my head. It's almost as if I can hear her voice sadly repeating this one line over and over again. What the hell happened? I think to myself. I clutch the note in my hand as I race downstairs.

" Edward," I say loudly causing him to jump awake.

" What?" he asks rubbing his face sleepily. I thrust the note into his hands and I watch him read it as I wrap my arms tightly around me, steeling myself against my emotions.

" What the hell happened? How long was I asleep, a year?" he asks, looking just as bewildered as I felt. I just shrug my shoulders trying to think over the possibilities as I take the note back from him. The last time I saw Ana she and Jasper were making out. Jasper, you idiot, Jasper,' my head screams at me.

" I am about to find out what the hell happened," I say storming back up the stairs before Edward or Emmett could catch up to me. I pound loudly on Jasper's door. It opens revealing an exhausted and upset looking Jasper.

" What the hell did you do?" I ask pushing him back a full step.

" What are you talking about?" he asks, and I can tell by the light in his eyes that he knows exactly what I am talking about.

" You know what I am talking about," I throw at him accusingly as I thrust the note against his chest. He catches it before it floats to the floor and he reads over the note, his eyes scanning the paper. His hand begins shaking as he finishes reading and he looks at me his eyes gleaming with guilt. We stood in a tense silence for a minute before he starts talking, he sits on his bed laying his head in his hands.

" She over heard a discussion that Alice and I were having. I said some things I didn't mean I was just so angry," he says his voice thick with emotions.

" What kind of things did you say?" I ask my voice shaking with the tears that I refuse to left fall.

" Things like I am only having fun with Ana, that it isn't anything serious, and that it isn't my fault if Ana is stupid enough to be in love with me," he says running his hands through his hair. I react instinctively slapping him so hard that his head snaps back. I didn't even notice that Emmett, Edward, and Rosalie were watching from the hallway until Rosalie grabs my hand as I lift it for a second time ready to strike him again.

" Jade, don't. He isn't worth it," she says, her eyes shining brightly as she looks at me. I can feel my body shaking as Edward pulls me to his side into the hallway. Emmett and Rosalie close Jasper's door and voices murmur through the door. Edward pulls me into my room and shuts the door behind us. I stand in the middle of my room and realize that the emptiness that I feel now is only going to get worse as long as my best friend is missing in action. Edward wraps his arms tightly around me hugging me against his body. I start shaking and I know what is coming. I know I am going to cry and I know that it isn't going to be pretty. I never cry, I taught myself at a young age that tears equaled weakness. I shake his hug off and step away from him.

" Jade," he says, his voice filled with undeniable concern. I shake my head slowly .

" I just want to be alone," I say, my voice sounds hollow as I say the words. He sighs heavily before I hear him opening and closing the door. I walk to Ana's bed, picking up her pillow and I press my face into it. It still smells like her perfume and that sends me over the edge as I let go of my control and sob uncontrollably into her pillow. My whole body shakes with the sobs and it isn't until this moment that I realize that I am completely and undeniably alone.


	19. Chapter 19: Because Of You

**Author's Note: Hey Everyone, Amber here, not Stephanie Meyer so I still, much to my dismay, do not own Twilight or its Beautiful characters. But because I am Amber, and not Stephanie Meyer, I do have full ownership on Ana and Jade :D Anyways, i enjoyed writing this chapter, and showing and letting Jade's emotional side really come out. I hope you all like it. AS always Read, Review, & Enjoy Chapter 19!!!!! **

**p.s thank you all SOOO much for the AMAZING reviews seriously they make my day whenever I get one!!! I love you guys :D**

Chapter 19: Because of You

**Jade's POV**

I lay on my bed curled in the darkness, staring at my phone waiting for it to ring. I close my eyes against the tears as I will my phone to just ring already. It's been two days since Ana left, two days that I have gone through walking in a haze, barely able to function. I haven't spoken to anyone, not even Edward. I sigh at the thought of him. He has been nothing but nice the last two days. Bringing me my meals, offering a shoulder to cry on, though I refuse to take it. I roll over thinking about the fact that I just need to get up and function. I roll over just about to get out of bed when my phone starts buzzing. I pick it up quickly and see that it is Ana. Her smiling face flashes across my screen.

" Ana," I say into the phone, my heart aches at her voice.

" Hey Jade," she says, her voice sounding hallow and empty. I pace the room as I listen to her cry.

" Are you okay?" I ask, sitting down on her bed playing with the end of her blanket.

" Yeah, I have been sitting in my room for the last day, just thinking about everything," she says, and I can tell that what she has been thinking has been anything but good. " Jade, I don't know if I can come back to Washington. It's just that so much has happened, and things just wont be the same, not now. I don't even know why I am so upset by all of this, you would think that Ja- he and I have been dating forever or something. I am so pathetic." I listen to her vent and cringe inside at the way she avoids saying his name.

" Ana, you are far from pathetic. You are just such an emotional person, and I wouldn't change that about you for a million years, because it makes you who you are! I don't know what is going on with Jasper," I say, my voice becoming steely and angry as his name tumbles out of my mouth. " All that I know is that YOU CANNOT let his stupid male ego, or self denial, or whatever it is stand in the way of your dreams. You cant honestly give up college because of him."

" I know, I just don't know how I can come back and look at him everyday you know?" she asks, and I can hear the pain in her voice, and I cringe and my fingers itch to hit something. Preferably Jasper.

" You can do it Ana, you are strong enough. Besides I need my best friend. You aren't even going to be here for my birthday tomorrow," I say, and my voice breaks slightly. Since the time that we have met we have spent every birthday together. " You know, I was looking forward to you waking me up by jumping up and down on my bed singing Happy Birthday at the top of your lungs."

" I know, Jade I'm so sorry. Look my mom is on her way home, so I will text you soon, I promise," she says, her voice is filled with tears and my hand tightens instinctively on the blanket.

" Okay, we aren't done talking about this Ana, you know that. I love you, say hi to Momma B for me," I say, clicking my phone off setting it on the bed. I lay back for a while staring at the ceiling when my stomach finally starts rumbling at me. I haven eaten much in the last two days, so I drag my feet as I walk to my door. I walk slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen where Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper are eating together, talking in hushed voices. They all look up at me and Emmett tries a soft smile but it doesn't quite make it to his eyes. Mostly I read sympathy on their faces, all except for Jasper, whose eyes don't even meet mine. 'That's right don't even look at me, if you do I will break your face,' I think to myself, my hand tightening into a fist.

" You hungry?" Rosalie asks, standing up and moving to the stove where fod was sitting still hot, filling the kitchen with an intoxicating scent that made my stomach rumble and my mouth water, despite my dark mood. I nod and she smiles slightly as she begins filling a plate for me.

" I have to say Jade, I am glad that you finally came down, I was afraid that you were going to end up going catatonic," Rosalie says, as she sets the plate down on the table as far away from where Jasper is sitting. Good idea, I might stab him with my fork,' I think to myself, fighting the dark smile that tries to spread across my face. I don't say anything back to her I just look down at my food and push it around.

" You look like hell Jade," Emmett says after some time and Rosalie immediately elbows him in the side. " What she does?" I cringe at that. They just don't understand. No one has ever been able to understand the relationship Ana and I have.

" I talked to Ana just before I came down," I say in a whisper. Emmett and Rosalie turn their attention to me and I notice Jasper's head snaps up making eye contact with me for the first time since I walked into the kitchen.

" How is she? Did she make it there safe?" Emmett asks in a rushed tone. I nod in answer, because other than me I know that Emmett is the most affected by Ana leaving without saying goodbye. They connected from the moment that they met, and I internally applaud Emmett's obvious self control since I knew from the moment he found out Ana was gone, he has wanted nothing more than to beat Jasper into a bloody pulp. " Well maybe the next time you talk to her you can tell her that I miss her, and that I need my half-pint back." It falls silent again and I can sense that everyone is holding their breath waiting for me to snap, or fall apart. I get up and take my half empty plate to the sink tossing out the food I wont be eating. Rosalie and Emmett start talking again and I'm comforted by the noise.

" Did Ana say when she is going to be back?" Jasper's voice rings quietly through the kitchen. Rosalie and Emmett sit in stunned silence as the plate I am holding slips through my fingers and crashes into the sink. I turn slowly to look at him and I fight the animalistic urge to jump across the counter and attack him.

" She said she doesn't know if she is going to be coming back," I whisper out harshly and I see him shrink back in his seat, guilt written all over his face.

" She has to come back," Rosalie says her beautiful eyes clouding with tears.

" I know that, but she doesn't, not yet," I say, toying with the silver ring I wear on my pinky. I look down as I twirl around my finger, it's twin is on the finger of my best friend who is two states away all because of him.

" Maybe I should call her or something, I have to talk to her, to make this right again," Jasper says and my vision hazes over and all I can see is red. I pick up the closest thing to me and throw it across the room missing his head just barely. The glass shatters against the wall. Rosalie rushes to me pushing me out of the room but I push back. Jasper stands up running a shaky hand through his hair.

" You did this. You made her leave, you broke her down so much that she left. My best friend, my sister, and you are going to sit here and pretend that you have feelings, that you actually care? You saw Ana as nothing more than a convenience, and you used her in hopes of making Alice get so jealous that she would leave Mike and crawl back to you. You will not call Ana, you will not make any of this worse. I hate you Jasper, I hated you from the moment that you made Ana cry the first time, but I was stupid and I gave you someone to talk to when no one else would. I believed you when you told me how sorry you were, when all along not only have you been playing her, but you have been playing me. I cant believe that you would even suggest, that you could possibly be the one to convince her to come back. I will convince her to come back and when she does I can promise you that the only way you will get close to her again is if you step over my dead body," I scream at him angrily all of my feelings of malice and pure hatred pouring from my soul.

" Jade that's enough," Rosalie says pulling my arm trying to get me to step away from him. I tear my arm from her grasp.

" No, it wont ever be enough, ever! I figure you would stand by him because he is your brother, but Ana is my SISTER! It may not be by blood, but I would die for that girl. You guys call yourselves her friends and yet through all of this you guys have stood by Jasper like he has done nothing wrong and its pathetic," I say, angry tears roll down my cheeks and I swipe at them quickly ashamed and embarrassed that I am crying in front of them.

" Do you honestly believe so little of us Jade, to think that we don't care about Ana?" Rosalie asks in a wounded voice. I look at her squarely in the face.

" I don't know you tell me. How many times have you, or Emmett, or Edward held her while she cried over him? How many times have you guys watched her beat herself up internally and struggle with the idea that she just isn't good enough? I can tell you, none. None of you have! Not once, its always rush to Jasper, comfort Jasper, and its BULLSHIT! He has been the cause of all of this and never once have I heard one of you stick up for Ana. Did you ever stop to think that if maybe just once you guys were there for her that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have left. She wouldn't think that you guys are all secretly laughing at her behind her back for being a girl who let herself fall in love," I say my voice growing weary from my tirade. I look from face to face and the looks on their faces vary so greatly that I am slightly taken aback. Rosalie looks wounded and lost as she fiddles with the heavy necklace hanging around her neck. Jasper's eyes gleam with tears and I am secretly smug and wish that he would cry, just once. Emmett's look is what shocks me though. He looks almost amused a smile flirting on his lips.

" What could you possibly be smiling at?" I ask, my voice hoarse from yelling.

" I am just glad that you finally got that out of your system. I know that has been building up for a while now," he says, as he leans down to pick up the remnants of the glass that I had thrown.

" You aren't the least bit hurt by what I said, are you?" I ask in amazement.

" No," he says shaking his head from side to side. " I care about Ana, she is like another little sister to me. And besides your right." I hear Rosalie gasp lightly at his answer, and I cant help but to be curious by what he means by that.

" What do you mean she is right?" Rosalie asks her eyes lit with a low burning anger.

" Rose, she is right and you know it. We always rush off to Jasper whenever something like this happens. We are all so afraid of him falling apart again like he did after Alice, that we haven't really opened our eyes and realized that in this case Jasper isn't the victim anymore. So how could Jade, let alone Ana, know without a doubt that we care about her as much as we do. We haven't shown it, we may have said it, but sometimes actions speak louder than words," he says, running a hand down her stiff shoulder. Rosalie sighs heavily and turns to look at me.

" I'm sorry Jade, if our actions have shown you and Ana that we don't care, we do. Its just Jasper is my twin and when he hurts its like I feel it inside me. I want you to know that I care, and contrary to what you may believe nine time out of ten I am jumping down his throat for his actions, I just choose to do it privately," she says, running a hand through her hair nervously.

" Listen I know that you guys care, but she needs to know it more than I do," I say, walking out of the kitchen leaving them to think about things on their own.

I sit outside on the porch watching the rain fall and the breeze rustle through the tree's. A part of me feels horrible for going off the way I did, but another part of me knows that the things that were said needed to be said. I lay my head on my knees hold the back of my head wishing that at this very moment Ana was here to do something totally and inexplicably random to lift my spirits. I raise my head at the sound of a car door closing. Edward saunters towards me his shoulder hunched against the rain. He sits down next to me and sighs heavily.

" So I hear you went nuts on everyone, chewed them all out pretty good," he says, clasping his hands together in front of him.

" Yeah, I just kind of lost it there for a second," I say, feeling consumed by guilt for taking my anger out on Rosalie and Emmett the way that I did.

" Its understandable, they don't hold it against you, you know," he says, rubbing his hand up and down my back. I lay my head on my knees again and just start crying. I don't know what has come over me and if its just the lack of having Ana here, or if it's the beginning stages of an emotional breakdown that has me so easily crying but I don't fight it. I don't know what it is about being around Edward, but I feel almost safe showing my emotions to him. Almost. I continue crying in the darkness, and Edward sits with me, not saying a word, just comforting me in silence, the way I need it to be.

I toss and turn in bed unable to drop off to sleep. I sit up and groan as I look at the clock. Three a.m. and still, sleep eludes me. I lay staring into the darkness wondering if Ana is having just as hard as a time sleeping as I am. I smile at the thought of her. Ana has always had this inane ability to drop off to sleep wherever and whenever. I have always been slightly jealous. It takes me forever to sleep and when I do sleep its never that great. I sit up and look around in the darkness before leaving the room. I tip toe down the stairs and find myself standing in front of Edwards door. I knock softly and open the door. I can make out Edward's silhouette in the pale moonlight that streams through his curtains.

" Edward," I whisper and he stirs before sitting up. His hair messy and his eyes half opened.

" What, what's wrong?" he asks, rubbing his eyes. I smile lightly in the darkness.

" Nothing, I just, I uhm cant sleep. Not in my room, can I sleep in here?" I ask, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. He smiles crookedly as he pulls back the blankest exposing the spot next to him. He pats the bed and I walk over and slide into bed next to him. I turn towards him and he warps his arms around me pulling me close to him. I lay my head against his chest and tears start seeping, trailing hotly down my cheeks and onto his chest. His hold on me tightens and he sighs into my hair. He pulls back looking down at me as he lifts his hand to my cheeks wiping the tears from my face.

" Oh Jade, sweet, sweet Jade," he whispers pressing a kiss to my forehead. " I wish that I could make this better for you." I cry harder cursing my stormy emotions.

" I just want her to come back Edward, what if she doesn't come back?" I ask, choking on my tears, my voice hitching loudly.

" She will come back Jade, I promise she will. She just needs time. Its like you have said before, she is stronger than she thinks she is, she'll come around," he whispers, his fingers rubbing the tension from between my shoulder blades.

" How do you know?" I ask meekly, sniffling slightly.

" I just do," he says, stifling a yawn. We lay in silence for a long time and I start thinking that he has fallen asleep because his breathing has become even and deep. I cuddle into him and close my eyes.

" Jade," Edwards voice fills the darkness.

" Yeah," I say looking over at him.

" Happy birthday," he whispers and my heart warms slightly at his words. I turn my head into the crook of his neck and breath deep inhaling his scent. I don't know what is happening between us, but aside from Ana he is the only one that I have no control over my feelings with, and I don't know just yet, how I feel about that.


	20. Chapter 20:Your Dirty Little Secret

**Author's Note: STill Not , still dont own Twilight although it is a HUGE part of my life hehe Ana and Jade still all mine even though i am willing to share....SOO this is the last Jade chapter...not for good just that It is going back to Ana. However I have been thinking about having a Jade POV day once a week, let me know what you guys think about that! Anyways hope you all enjoy! As Always, Read, Review and Enjoy Chapter 20!!!! a big thank you for the continully awesome reviews i love you guy!!!!!**

Chapter 20: Your Dirty Little Secret

**Jade's POV**

Today was going to be bad day, correction it was going to be the worst day ever, I decide as I step out of the shower. My twenty-second birthday was turning out to be one big, fat, disappointment. Of course I know why that is, because Ana isn't here. As much as I complain when she makes a big deal out of my birthday, I miss the pomp and circumstance that she makes it. I dress quickly in a pair of sweats and a tank top, leavng my hair to hang wet and messy down my back. I trudge down the stairs a dark cloud hanging over my head. I walk into the kitchen to find Edward and Rosalie eating their breakfast, whispering secretively.

" Oh, happy birthday Jade," Rosalie says beaming at me. I roll my eyes and grumble darkly. " What's the matter? Don't you like your birthday? It's the one day a year you can get whatever you want."

" It's not so much that I don't like my birthday, its just that I am used to having Ana around on my birthday," I say trying not to sound so depressed. 'Besides, its my damn birthday, I can be sad if I want too,' I think to myself sadly. Edward snickers from his seat and he looks at me almost as if he knows exactly what I am thinking.

" So any big plans for the day?" Edward asks, smiling at me just as brightly as Rosalie was a minute ago.

" No," I answer glumly. 'Maybe I will just sleep all day and when I wake up it wont be my birthday anymore.'

" Excellent, be ready to go in an hour," he says, walking out of the kitchen without telling me what he has planned.

I stand looking at my closet not sure what to wear. I sigh heavily when I pull a black shirt from a hanger and a pair of blue jeans. 'Why bother dressing up if he doesn't even have the decency to tell me what the hell he has planned,' I think to myself as I get dressed quickly. A soft knock on my door has me turning quickly just in time to see Edward opening the door slowly.

" You ready to go?" he asks, leaning against the door. I roll my eyes and nod my head. 'Not really wanting to go but lead the way Skippy,' I think, snickering to myself. I follow him down the stairs and outside to his awaiting car. I get in without a word and lay my head back praying that whatever he has planned gets over with very quickly. He backs out of the driveway and starts driving silence falling between us. I start counting the ways that this day could be worse. ' One, it could be raining, two, I could be stuck in a room with Jasper, three, I could be stuck in a room with Jasper without being able to physically harm him,' I laugh out loud involuntarily to that and Edward looks at me out of the corner of his eye, a knowing smile on his face. In the silence of his car I think over the fact that he always seems to know what I am thinking, and I realize just how unnerving that is for me. No one has ever been able to read me so well, no one except for Ana, I swallow hard against that thought and curse to myself. She hasn't even called yet, and I know she didn't forget, she never forgets anything. I stare down at my phone clutched in my hand, and jump when Edward finally speaks.

" She will call you know," he says, reaching over to take my hand. He links his fingers with mine as I stare at him astonished. "What?" he asks, looking at me, confusion washing over his face.

" How do you do that?" I ask, my voice comes out somewhat breathless.

" How do I do what?" he asks, rubbing his thumb across my fingers.

" You always seem to know what I am thinking," I say, rolling my eyes letting my head fall back against the seat realizing just how stupid and illogical that sounded. He grows silent, staring calmly out of the windshield. I drop the subject and let him hold my hand as we continue our drive.

" Edward, seriously, where are we going?" I ask as he walks me forward his hands covering my eyes. He insisted fervently that I close my eyes tightly as soon as we got off of the freeway into some town I didn't know the name of.

" You'll see, just keep walking. I wont let you run into anything, your in good hands," he says into my ear and I shiver slightly as his breath caresses my cheek. ' Yeah buddy, better not let me run into anything, or my foot will run into your ass,' I think to myself.

" That wasn't very nice," he says and I stop walking causing him to run into me.

" What wasn't very nice?" I ask, something in the back of my head telling me that what I have been thinking is true.

" Oh just some guy ran into someone and didn't even stop to say sorry," he says easily, too easily. Finally he stops and takes his hands from my face and I open my eyes squinting slightly at the change of lighting. I look up at the sign and smile despite my dark mood. Indoor skydiving. How in the world did he know that I have wanted to try this particular sport out since the moment I read an article about it a few years ago. The only one who knew was Ana. That's it, maybe Edward talked to Ana at some point.

" Are you serious?" I ask, turning to look at him smiling brightly. He just nods his head opening the door for me, smiling the whole time.

Two hours later we walk out of the facility and I know that I am smiling stupidly, from ear to ear. My dark mood long gone.

" That was easily the greatest and most exhilarating thing that I have ever done," I say spinning in slow circles.

" Well, I am glad that you enjoyed yourself," Edward says unlocking his car. " Hopefully you will be as ecstatic about the second part of the plan."

" Which would be?" I ask, sliding in. I pull my legs up sitting cross legged in the seat bouncing up and down with a new found happiness.

" Food," he says, pulling out of the parking lot.

" Food is always a good thing," I say, drumming my hands against my legs in time to the music. I watch happily as the scenery flies by us before I turn to look at Edward. I stare at him happily until finally he looks over at me.

" What?" he asks, turning the music down.

" Thank you. Seriously I thought that today was going to be horrible without Ana, and you have made it bearable," I say, and I lean over pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

" Believe me, it's my pleasure," he says, turning into the parking lot of a restaurant. He shuts off the car and we sit there for a minute. Edward turns to me his face suddenly serious, like something is wrong.

" What's the matter?" I ask, running my hand nervously through my hair, feeling like maybe I did something wrong.

" Jade, there is something I should tell you, something that is going to change everything," he says, turning fully in his seat as he reaches over to brush the hair from my face. I can feel my heart start beating heavily in my chest, every beat pulsing off of my ribs.

" Well if it could change everything why tell me?" I ask, fiddling with my ring nervously.

" Because you have the right to know," he says, as he takes a deep breath. It grows silent again and I start drifting off into my thoughts. " Think about something, concentrate on one thing in your head. Something totally and completely absurd," he says, his voice pulling me from my thoughts.

" What are you talking about?" I ask, looking at him like he is crazy.

" You heard me, think about something completely absurd," he says his voice growing slightly annoyed.

" Fine," I say, my voice angry. ' Purple and green polka dotted giraffes swimming in jell-o,' I think to myself and I almost giggle to myself at the thought, and the fact that Ana would have gotten a kick out of that one.

" Purple and green polka dotted giraffes swimming in jell-o," Edward says staring at me intently, gauging my reaction.

" How in the hell did you know what I was thinking?" I ask, looking at him as I press myself against the door. My analytical mind thinks of all the possibilities, maybe I whispered it under my breath, or something. No, of course I didn't.

" This is going to sound completely insane to you Jade, but I can hear peoples thoughts. I know what everyone is thinking, all of the time," he says, looking at me sheepishly. My scientific mind goes to the impossibility of what he just said, but then I flash back slowly to every circumstance since I met him, where I felt like he knew exactly what I was thinking.

" So you can hear what people are thinking?" I ask, and surprisingly enough, I am not too shocked, nor am I thrown off by it. It doesn't change anything, it just answers a lot of questions, but opens the door for a million more.

" Yes," he says, nodding his head slowly,

" Oh wow," I say, running my hand through my hair. " That's not all though Jade, you have to know that I am not the only one, who has, a little extra," he says, staring into my eyes seriously.

" Who else has this ability?" I ask, wracking my brain as to who it could be.

" Well no one else that I know, has the same ability that I have, but Alice and Jasper both have something extra," he says, laying his seat back staring at the ceiling of his car. I follow his lead and lay my seat back looking at him.

" Well what can they do?" I ask, looking at him. He cringes and I can tell that he is fighting an internal war about whether or not to say anything.

" Alice, she uh, she can see the future. And Jasper, he can feel what people are feeling and he can manipulate their feelings," he says and I can feel the gasp that rips from my chest. I sit up quickly rapping my head against the top of the car.

" You mean to tell me that all of this time Jasper has known how Ana feels, and all this time he has truly been using it to his favor?" I ask, glaring at him angrily. He sits up and looks at me.

" Jade, it isn't like that," he says, laying a hand on my shoulder. I shrug it off roughly, anger building severely inside of me.

" That is exactly what it is like. All this time he has known everything that Ana has felt, and instead of doing the right thing, he manipulated her by using what she felt against her," I say, trying not to scream, all the while the fury continues to build.

" Look, I didn't tell you this to make you angry, I told you because, well, one you are incredibly intelligent and you would have figured it out eventually, and two, I don't want to hide anything from you, ever," he says, and I look at him. My heart softens slightly. I cant be mad at him for what Jasper does. He isn't abusing his gift or ability. But you better believe that Jasper will be getting my a piece of my mind.

The ride home is quiet. Nothing is said, but my thoughts are colorful enough that Edward laughs every once in awhile. A part of me feels like I have walked straight into some kind of real life fairy tale, chalk full of people with special abilities, while another part of me doesn't find it too surprising. Because if two people in this world were going to ever stumble upon the unbelievable, it would be Ana and me. 'I wonder what Ana is going to think when she finds out about this?' I think to myself.

" You cant tell her," he says and I look at him annoyed that he was listening to my thoughts. Already I could tell that this special gift of his was going to piss me off more than it was going to leave me in amazement.

" What do you mean I cant tell her? She has more of a right to know than I do," I say, frustration building in my body.

" It's Jasper's job to tell her, not yours," he says, his voice rings with the annoyance I feel.

" Yeah, like he is going to tell her the secret he has been using against her," I say, spite dripping off of every word.

" He will. I know that you don't like him, but Jasper is good at heart, whether you believe it or not," he says, pulling in front of the house. Before I can say anything to the contrary my phone rings and I answer it.

" Happy birthday to you," Ana's voice sings out and I smile broadly, forgetting for the moment what Edward and I were talking about.

" Thank you, I have to say I was worried for a moment that you forgot all about it," I say, and Edward looks at me. His eyes tell me silently to keep my mouth shut and as much as my loyalty to Ana rebels against the idea of keeping this big of a secret from her, I nod my head agreeing silently that I wont say anything, yet.

" How could I forget my best friends birthday?" she asks and I am drawn from Edward's glance into the colorful voice of my best friend. Edward gets out of the car leaving me to talk to Ana in private.

" I know, I know, you couldn't," I say, as I fumble under the seat so that I can push it all the way back and lay down. Twenty minutes into the conversation I tell her all about Edward taking me indoor skydiving.

" Jade that is so awesome, so how are things with you and Edward anyways?" she asks, and I can all but see her laying on her childhood bed, legs crossed at the ankle as she twists her hair around her fingers.

" Honestly I don't know, I am just trying not to think about it, take it one day at a time," I say, sighing heavily.

" Do you think he knows you are in love with him?" she asks, and I feel my face go white. 'I don't know, probably, stupid mind reader,' I think to myself.

" Well if he does, he is doing a good job of hiding it," I say to myself and she laughs loudly, making me smile. " So Ana, seriously, when are you coming back?" There is a long pause on the line and I can feel my heart drop. No, there is no way that I am going to let her throw away this opportunity just because Jasper is using her feelings against her.

" I don't know Jade, I really don't," she says and the light bubbly tone is gone.

" Annalisa, you cannot throw this away because of him, you cant," I say, my voice pleading.

" I know that, logically. But my heart is screaming at me to never see him again for fear of it being ripped out and stomped all over," she says, her voice thick with emotions.

" Okay I understand that, but listen to me. You worked harder than anyone I know to get here, and you cant let some stupid ass of a man ruin all of that hard work, so if you aren't back here in two days, I will personally come back there and drag you back by all of your pretty blonde hair okay?" I ask, lightening the mood and yet I was serious and she knew it. I hear her let out a heavy breath.

" Okay, fine. But I swear one more thing goes wrong for me up there I will burn all of Washington state down to the last evergreen," she says, and I laugh, feeling suddenly light at heart by the idea of her coming home.

" Deal, and if anything does go wrong I will supply the gas cans," I say, smiling into the phone. " Well I better be getting inside, get some rest because you have a long car ride ahead of you."

" I will. Oh by the way, your present is in a box hidden under the folded blankets in our closet, open it last," she says, hanging the phone up before I can inquire as to what she got me.

I get out of the car feeling a million times better than I did before Ana called. I practically skip to the door when I hear the yelling. I open the door and see Edward and Jasper standing toe to toe in the midst of balloons and orange streamers.

" You had no right to tell her Edward, and you know it," Jasper yells, his face red with his anger.

" Yes I did. I will not hide this from her Jasper, and you would be smart to tell Ana, because she has a right to know too," Edward yells back, pushing Jasper back a step.

" Ana doesn't need to know," he says, pushing Edward back harder. I walk fully into the room and the fighting subsides. Emmett throws a handful of confetti into the air and yells a half-hearted surprise.

" Ana has every right to know. I thought that I was disgusted with you before Jasper, but when Edward told me, it made me want to rip your head off of your shoulders. All of this time you have been using what Ana feels against her and it isn't fair. What right do you have to do that to her? And what right do you have to not be honest about it?" I ask, getting into Jasper's face quivering with anger.

" Jade, you know nothing about this. You have no idea what it is like to feel everything that everyone feels, sometimes you lose your own feelings you forget who you are," he says, his voice angry but his face calm.

" I don't care! You have had twenty one years to live with this, you should know better by now not to use what you can do against anyone. Ana is an emotional girl, she cries too easily, laughs freely, and you are using what she feels, what YOU know that she feels for you against her. I have told you so many times that you need to stop this sick game that you are playing with her, it is absolutely ridiculous. Let me tell you something Jasper, Ana is coming home in two days, either you tell her, or I will," I yell. I storm up the stairs slamming my bedroom door behind me. 'Happy freakin birthday to me,' I think to myself, as I throw myself onto my bed.

Two hours have passed as I lay on my bed listening to the silence. Ten minutes after I stormed into my room I heard the front door slamming open and closed. A soft knock sounds on my door.

" Come in," I call out restlessly. Emmett's huge figure casts a shadow into my room and in his arms are wrapped presents and on the very top box is a piece of birthday cake with a candle. I smile even though I am madder than hell.

" Rose and I, well we kind of figured that you wouldn't be much in the celebrating mood so I just thought you could open your presents up here," he says, setting them down at the foot of my bed.

" Thanks," I say, I stand up and wrap my arms around him, and he hugs me back in a tight and warm hug. I smile to myself as I pull away from him.

" Well, I will get out of your hair, Happy Birthday Jade," he says, kissing a soft kiss to my forehead. I close the door behind him softly staring at the presents sitting on my bed. I walk to my bed taking the cake from the top box setting it on my crowded dresser. I slide the first box down and pull the card from it. I open it and read smiling at the surprisingly sweet card that Emmett had chosen. I unwrap the box and find a University of Washington sweatshirt that I have been eyeing since I got here. I slip it on and smile as I continue to unwrap gifts. Rosalie bought me a stunning jade necklace with a note attached saying that she hopes that this brings me luck. I am slightly shocked by the idea that Jasper bought me a gift at all and despite my animosity towards him I cant help but to feel my heart soften a bit. I open the box and see a beautiful picture of Ana and I staring at me in a beautiful silver frame. Tears sting my eyes as I set it aside carefully. Edwards gift is last and I open it slowly. Inside of the small box lays a small heart shaped necklace. I am kind of taken aback by this. I stare at it for a long time, trying to figure out what it means. I am left reeling as I put away my gifts when I remember what Ana had said earlier. I walk into the closet and find the box that she told me would be waiting for me. I sit on the floor of the closet and slide the box towards me and begin opening it. I slide open the top of the box finding the black leather jacket that I have been pining over for months on top. I sigh heavily as tears come to my eyes. I remove it setting it next to me to turn back to the box. The whole box is full of jolly ranchers, every color except for purple. The girl doesn't miss a thing,' I think to myself smiling through tears. Just as I am walking out of the closet my bedroom door slams open and I jump caught completely off guard. I look up at Rosalie laughing slightly as I press a hand to my galloping heart.

" Jesus Rose, you scared me," I say, looking up at her. I stop laughing as I realize that tears are rolling down her face in torrents and she is gasping through her sobs. I grab her shoulders and look at her. " Rose, what's wrong?"

" It's Jasper, he was in an accident. I just got the call from the hospital, they say its bad Jade, its real bad" she says as she collapsed to the floor. I follow her and gather her close letting her cry. I reach onto my bed and grab my phone dialing the familiar number.

" Hello," the sleepy voice of Ana fills my head.

" Ana, you have to come back. There's been an accident, its Jasper, its bad Ana," I say and the sounds of the broken sobs of my best friend cuts straight to my heart as I pray that everything will just be okay.


	21. Chapter 21:Three Days,Ten Hours,Five Min

**Author's Note: Hey there, readers. I am not Stephanie Meyer, therefor Twilight isnt mine nor are the characters. Ana and Jade are all mine though. Okay so I noticed that the last chapter I posted didnt get many responses and I am sorry if it wasnt all that great, hopefully this chapter makes up for that. Thank you all for the reviews! I hope that you all keep reading and enjoying the story! So Read, Review and Enjoy :D**

Chapter 21: Three Days, Ten Hours, Five Minutes

I stare out of my bedroom window, the familiar desert in front of me. I wrap my arms around myself tightly. I should be happy, I thought that by coming home I would feel enlightened, and at peace. I'm not. My heart longs for Washington, for my newly found family, for Jade. My heart sinks at the thought of how much pain all of this is causing her. I knew from the moment that I jumped on the freeway that I was making a mistake, and that mistake would hurt Jade. That every second I was gone would make her miserable. Yet I kept driving, and I drove all night, into the morning. It wasn't until I was sitting in front of my childhood home that I realized the gravity of my choice. Staring into the window I see my bedroom door open and my mom slips in walking lightly towards me. She wraps her arms around me, hugging me closely to her. She breathes into my hair and I can feel the questions building inside of her, even though she isn't saying anything. I had to appreciate the fact that for the first time in my twenty years of life she didn't push me to tell her what was going on. She just comforted in her own quiet way.

" Are you going to tell me what is going on Ana?" she asks after a long silence. I exhale a breath I didn't even realize that I had been holding, and sit down on my bed. I cross my legs and pull a pillow into my lap hugging it tightly to my chest.

" I don't know Mom. It all just got so out of control so quickly," I say, cursing my emotions at just the slightest thought of Him. She reaches over and takes my hand in hers, looking me in the eyes.

" Why don't you start at the beginning?" she suggests, lightly squeezing my hand.

" I had the moment Mom. The fairy tale moment. He walked into the room and it was like everything and everyone around me fell away and he is all that I can think about. He is constantly on my mind, and he broke my heart," I say, tears falling silently down my face.

" Oh honey, this is what it is all about, a boy?" she asks, laughing slightly as she brushes my hair softly off of my forehead.

" No, ugh yes, I don't know Mom. It's just so weird with him, like he has these moments every once and a while where he is just so incredibly sweet and its like every doubt that I have that he doesn't want me falls away, but then he has always had these moments when his ex-girlfriend is around," I say, my hand tightening on my pillow. We sit there for awhile not saying a word, just letting the time pass us by quickly and silently.

" Listen, Ana. I am not going to give you any advice on men, but I can tell you this much. If you throw away your dream, and everything that you have worked so hard for because of this guy, you will regret it more than anything in this entire world," she says, breaking the silence. I nod my head, part of me agreeing with her, another part of me wishing that she would have told me that she wanted me to stay home.

" I know, I know," I say, closing my eyes tightly. She kisses the top of my head lightly and leaves the room. I lay back on my childhood bed staring at my ceiling hoping that the answer's to all of my problems would fall from the sky. I stare at the clock and realize that what my mother and Jade have been telling me is true. As much as I want to protect myself from the pain and humiliation of facing Jasper again, I know that I can't leave school and my dreams. I reach for my phone dialing the number that is familiar to me. The sound of Jade's relieved voice tells me that my choice to go back to Washington is the right one, it has to be.

The sound of my phone buzzing loudly on the nightstand wakes me. I groan as I roll over squinting to look at the clock. Who would be calling me right now?' I think to myself. I pick up my phone and Jade's name flashes across the screen. She is probably calling to tell me all about her presents, so I answer it feeling kind of annoyed that I was wakened from such a peaceful sleep.

" Hello," I say, and I sit up when I hear sobbing in the back ground.

" Ana, you have to come back. There's been an accident, its Jasper, it's bad Ana," Jade says, and her words circle in my head making me feel light headed. I sit up shaking and snap on the light on my dresser.

" Jade what are you talking about?" I ask, every nerve in my body standing on edge.

" I don't know, I don't know how bad it is Ana, we are headed to the hospital right now. You have to come back, promise me you will come back," she says, her voice filled with panic.

" Yeah okay, I am on my way," I say closing my phone. I jump out of my bed and rush around my room gathering clothes stuffing them into my duffel bug. I walk to my mom's room and knock on her door softly.

" Mom," I call out and she sits up sleepily in her bed.

" Yeah," she says, her voice sleep filled.

" I have to leave. Jade just called, there's been an accident," I say, leaning down to hug and kiss her good bye.

" Is everything okay? Is Jade okay?" she asks, her voice immediately alert.

" I don't know, and it isn't Jade, its Jasper," I say, my voice breaking slightly.

" Oh honey. Call me as soon as you get there, I love you. Be safe, my girl," she says, tears shining in her eyes.

" Always mom," I say, walking from her room. I rush out into the cold November air, my heart hammering wildly. I slide into my car as calmly as I can and pull out of the driveway, praying the whole time that Jasper will be okay.

Seventeen hours can be a long time. A very long time. I have counted every second of every minute, tears streaming non-stop down my face. Part of me cant help but to feel somewhat at fault for everything. If I hadn't reacted the way I did, Jasper wouldn't be having so many problems with everyone. I follow the directions that Jade quickly gave me to Harborview Medical Center. I park and hold onto the wheel, not wanting to go inside and face what might be. Jade hasn't answered her phone since she called me, and a part of me fears that I will walk in there to nothing but bad news. I force myself out of my car and walk slowly to the entrance of the hospital. I stop and stare at the huge building looming down at me. I walk in, looking for the admittance desk. I finally find it, and see a small line forming. I get in line behind a woman with a small girl in her arms. I look around the emergency room and see nothing but the sick and ailing. 'This is what Jade wants to do. She wants to help people who are sick and dying, I could never do it,' I think to myself.

" Excuse me," the voice of the clerk behind the counter snaps me from my thoughts and I turn to look at her. " Can I help you?"

" Oh yes, uhm I am looking for someone, a friend of mine. Jasper Hale, he would have been brought in last night, he was in an accident," I say, my voice sounds hollow and far away. I clutch the counter as my vision begins swimming and I blink my eyes quickly trying to clear the sudden blurriness.

" Are you okay?" the woman asks, and I look at her.

" Yeah, sorry, I drove all night from California, just a little tired that's all," I say, taking a deep breath. I didn't make it this far to fall apart now. I watch as she punches in the information that I gave her into the computer.

" Yes Mr. Hale is in the I.C.U, room 1826," she says, she points me in the direction of the elevators. I walk slowly to the elevator, feeling like I am about to walk straight into a nightmare.

I walk off of the elevator and see Emmett and Edward sitting in the waiting room looking exhausted. I stop and stare at them and almost as if they could sense my presence they both look up at me. Emmett gets to his feet and walks to me wrapping me in his arms. I hold onto him tightly, my hold on control slipping through my fingers.

" How bad is it?" I ask, my voice breaking, tears clouding my eyes.

" It could be worse, but its not good," he says, pulling away to look at me. " You being here will help." I let out a shaky breath as Edward hugs me next.

" Jade is in the cafeteria right now, getting Rose some coffee. Rosalie hasn't left his side since he got out of surgery," Edward says, and I can feel the pain wash over me in torrents at the mention of the word surgery.

" Should I go in? Maybe I should wait," I say, my voice sounds foreign to me. Too high pitched, too strained.

" No, go. Its right around the corner," Edward says, pushing me forward. I walk slowly down the hall and pause at the corner. I don't want to see it, because seeing it makes it all too real. I steel myself the best that I can as I take a final deep breath and turn to go into the room. I knock softly on the door and open it. The first thing I see is Rosalie, holding Jasper's hand. She looks up at me with red rimmed eyes, and fresh tears start rolling down her cheeks as she stands up and walks to me. Part of me is braced for anger, but she grabs me into a tight hug. I hug her back and lose what little bit of control I had. I cry with her, trying to make some sort of sense out of all of this.

" I am so glad you came back," she says, pulling away to look at me. I just nod and look over at Jasper. He looks like he is sleeping, only he is pale. Paler than usual. A tube is taped to his mouth and I can feel myself start shaking as I realize the gravity of all of this. " He asked for you," she says, and I turn to look at her, tears continuing to rain down my face.

" What?" I ask shakily.

" When they first brought him in, he asked for you," she says, leading me to chair she had been occupying when I first came in. I sit down heavily, and stare at the floor.

" I'm sorry Rose," I say finally wiping at my eyes furiously.

" This isn't your fault Ana," she says, her voice reassuring yet broken. " I am going to step out for a minute, do you mind staying?"

" No, go ahead," I say and I watch as she leans down and kisses Jasper softly on the forehead, she turns and walks out of the room leaving me to sit in silence, the only noise being made is the beeping from the heart monitor. I look around and take in the surroundings. The room is pretty much empty, save for the small bag of Rosalie's stuff sitting in the corner. I pull the chair closer to the bed and reach my hand through the bars on the bed. I take Jasper's hand in mine, and start crying as I squeeze it wishing that he would squeeze back. " Jasper," I say, my voice breaking softly. " Listen, you have to wake up okay. I don't know if you can hear me, but I am hoping that you can. I need you to know something. I love you. I loved you from the moment that you walked into the room cursing me for parking in your spot, and that love has only grown, from the first moment that you kissed me to the last. I know that you and I probably wont happen but that isn't why you need to wake up. You need to wake up for your parents, and for Rosalie, Emmet and Edward, and Alice. Even Jade. I know she has given you hell, but she is my best friend, and deep down she cares. So please, you just have to wake up," I say, my voice sounding breathless. I pull the bar down and lay my head on the bed closing my eyes, tears falling softly. " Just wake up."

I wake up to someone shaking my shoulder softly. I lift my head feeling somewhat disoriented and stare into the face of my best friend. The tears that I thought had grown dry immediately start falling again as she wraps her arms around me.

" Welcome back," she whispers pulling away to sit next to me.

" What happened Jade?" I ask, sitting back down, staring at Jasper.

" We don't really know. The police say that their best guess is that he took a curve to fast, lost control. He slammed into a cement median, flipped his car. When they brought him in he was somewhat coherent, they said he was asking for you, saying things like he just has to make things okay again. He went under and hasn't come out of it yet," she says, and I look over at her, my eyes feeling heavy and swollen from my incessant crying.

" Edward said something about surgery, how bad was it Jade?" I ask, and she looks at me seriously.

" To be honest it could have been worse. He punctured his left lung and lost his spleen. For the most part he was lucky," she says, and I close my eyes against the word lucky. Lucky? Yes, how lucky for Jasper that he is laying unconscious, on breathing machines. We sit in silence for awhile, holding each others hand. I lift my head to see Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie standing in the doorway.

" Visiting hours are almost over, so we should probably get going," Emmett says, Rosalie steps forward shaking her head.

" I'm going to stay," she says running a hand over his hair.

" Rose, seriously you haven't slept at all, you need to eat, take a shower, and rest," Emmett says sternly, and Rosalie turns to stare at him fire dancing in her eyes.

" I am not leaving him here alone," she says, anger and exhaustion mixing in her voice.

" Emmett is right Rosalie, you should go get some rest, I'll stay," I say, and everyone turns their attention to me.

" Are you sure Ana? You have got to be exhausted," Jade says, her eyes trained to my face.

" Yes I am sure, you guys go get some rest," I say, standing to my feet. I walk to Rosalie and hug her tightly. " You wont do him any good if you are exhausted and running on empty," I whisper in her ear. She hugs me back tightly.

" Thanks," she whispers. I hug everyone one by one as they leave the room and settle back in my chair. I take Jasper's hand back in mine and close my eyes, dropping into a dreamless sleep.

Three days, ten hours and five minutes. That is how long I have been watching Jasper, looking for any sign that he is coming back to us. Everyday, everyone comes, sitting with him long enough for me to run home to take a shower, eat something , and come back. Alone in the dimly lit room, I sit my feet propped up on the bed reading through the same month old magazine. I throw it down onto the table frustrated and jittery. The doctor has assured us all that he is doing okay physically, sometimes it just takes longer for people to wake up. I lean forward taking his hand again.

" I know by now that if you can hear me, that you are probably getting annoyed. Nothing has changed from three days ago Jasper, we all still need you to come back. Please, just come back," I say, laying my head onto his hand. I jump slightly as he squeezes my hand I look at him. His eyes start fluttering and my heart starts pounding in my chest. I stand up looking down at him as his eyes open slowly. I smile as the tears start falling down my face.

" I will be right back I am going to get a nurse," I say, and he nods his head slowly his eyes open wide as he blinks slowly. I walk out of his room my legs feeling weak. I rush to the nurses station.

" He's awake," I say breathlessly and the night shift nurse, Sue looks at me wide eyes. She picks up the phone and calls for the doctor. I walk quickly back to Jaspers room, rushing to his side, letting out a shaky breath. I was afraid that I had imagined him being awake, because it has been something that I wanted so bad. The doctor enters the room and starts talking to the nurse that follows him in.

" Hello Jasper, nice to have you back," he says, smiling down at him. I didn't catch his name, but it seems as if he knows him. " We are going to remove this tube, but I am going to want to keep you on oxygen just as a precaution." I watch from the corner of the room as they work swiftly and easily. I hold my breath as they remove the tube and get him on oxygen.

" How are you feeling?" the doctor asks and Jasper winces as he opens his mouth to talk.

" Fine, throat is a little sore, but other than that I feel fine," he says, his voice hoarse.

" It will be sore for a few days, I will have the nurse get you some ice chips, take it easy, and in the next day or so we will have you moved to a regular room, I figure you can be on your way home by Monday," the doctors says writing something down on the chart.

" Thank you Carlisle," Jasper whispers, wincing slightly as he pushes himself up in the bed. The doctor walks out the nurse following behind him. I step forward and Jasper stares at me.

" Hi," he whispers out, and I step forward closer to the bed.

" Hey," I say, my voice shaking violently. " I'm sorry I just have to, just for a second," I say crumbling to the floor crying violently by the side of his bed. I feel him reach his hand down and he places a hand on my head as I shake with the tears. As much anger as I felt, the sheer terror at the thought of losing him was far greater.

" Ana, its okay," he says, his voice cracking as he talks.

" I know, its just I was so, so scared," I say turning around to look at him. I take his outstretched hand and look at him. The color is starting to come back to his face and I smile at that. We sit looking at each other when my phone buzzes in my pocket causing me to jump. I pull it out and look at it to see the text from Jade. 'Just got the call from the doctor, we are headed that way, see you in a bit, give Jasper a big fat kiss for me!' I smile as I slide the phone back into my pocket as I get to my feet.

" That was Jade, the good doctor called, everyone is on their way," I say, and I smile down at him. I lean down and a press a kiss to his lips.

" What was that for?" he asks, licking his lips.

" Jade told me to give you a kiss for her," I say, leaning down pressing a softer kiss to his lips.

" That one was for me." I lay my forehead against his and close my eyes. I don't know what will happen after this, I don't know where Jasper and I will go, or not go, but for this one moment all that matters is that he is back, and I'm with him.


	22. Chapter 22:Theres Something In The Water

**Author's Note: Hey Everyone, I DO NOT own Twilight or its Characters....I do own ICFY and Ana and Jade though and thats pretty spiffy :D SO I am sorry that I didnt get this up sooner, but I have been suffering from some writers block, but hopefully that is over with now. I am sorry ahead of time if this isnt the greatest chapter you read, but it is almost two thirty in themornin and I am half asleep. Anyways, I would like to dedicate this chapter to my Dad, who has been gone for eight years today! He was the ONE person that stood behind me in my dreams of being a writer so I wrote this chapter with him on my mind, and in my heart! Anyways, please READ REVIEW & ENJOY!!!!! **

**P.S Just to Assure everyone...YES there will be more Jade chapters to come I PROMISE :D**

Chapter 22: There's Something In The Water

A week has passed since Jasper came home, and in this week I have been playing nothing but catch up. Missing that week of school was now, very thoroughly biting me in the ass. I slam the book shut and blink my eyes tiredly looking at the clock. Ten o'clock on a Friday night. I should be out doing something fun and ridiculous, but no I am stuck at home studying. 'Stupid school,' I think to myself as I push my books roughly across the table. I lay my head in my hands staring into my lap, trying to figure out how the hell I am going to catch up. I lift my head when I hear someone breathing heavily at the door way. Jasper stands holding onto his side. I get up and walk towards him.

" Jasper what are you doing?" I ask, wrapping my arm around him taking on as much of his weight as I can. We walk slowly towards the table and he sits carefully, breathing deeply and slowly.

" If I stay up in that room for another minute I will go completely crazy," he says, wincing slightly as he shifts in his chair.

" Stop being such a baby, this time tomorrow we will be up in lovely Forks remember?" I ask, getting a glass of water for him. Jasper's accident has created some sort of tentative truce. Even Jade has been seen and heard being nothing but sweet to him, it was all kind of creepy. 'Nothing like a near death experience to bring everyone together,' I think to myself handing him his water.

" Don't remind me," he says, sipping slowly from his glass. " So what has you so frustrated?" I smile at him nodding toward the scattered books and papers on the table.

" My little trip has set me so far back, I don't even know how I am going to come back from it," I say, sighing heavily as I sit down. It grows quiet after that and we stare at each other. I watch his eyes as he looks at me and can see that there is something that he is wanting to say.

" I haven't really gotten the chance to apologize for what you heard," he starts saying, and I just shake my head.

" Jasper, you don't have to apologize. I'm old enough now to understand that not everyone that I develop feelings for are going to return the feeling," I say, plastering an unfaltering smile to my face, all the while my heart aches at my own words. Even though its true, I know that not everyone is going to feel the same for me, doesn't make it hurt any less.

" Ana, it isn't," he starts saying but the sound of the front door closing loudly making him curse under his breath. Emmett bounds into the kitchen shaking the rain from his hair smiling at us both.

" Hey guys," Emmett says, sitting next to Jasper. " Whoa, I don't think I have seen that much homework, like ever."

" Yeah, that's what happens when you fall behind," I say, sitting forward, gathering papers and books.

" Well you will have some time to tackle that during the car ride to Forks," he says, smiling broadly. For the last four days all that Emmett has been talking about is how excited he is to be going home to see his parents, and to have some of his mom's cooking.

" I wish, but you seem to forget we are leaving at like four in the morning, and Jade is not going to want to drive, hell, she isn't even going to be functioning, which means I get to drive," I say, almost grudgingly. Don't get me wrong, I love driving. When its dry and sunny. Not when it is freezing cold and raining, and on top of that the possibility of snow makes the idea of driving that much more unappealing.

" This is true, I forget that Jade isn't a morning person," he says smiling at me. How could he possibly forget. Just yesterday Jade almost stabbed him with a spoon because 'he was being to damn cheery too damn early,' in her own words. I walk to one of the drawers and pulls out a spoon tossing it to Emmett. He catches it looking slightly bewildered before a smile blooms on his face.

" That way you wont forget, Jade up too early equals, Emmett being stabbed by a spoon," I say, chuckling as I walk upstairs to my room, Emmett and Jaspers laughter following me.

" So what do you think I should wear tomorrow?" Jade asks, for the five hundredth time. I roll my eyes at her from my bed.

" I don't know Jade, whatever you want to wear," I say, flipping through a magazine. She glares at me from the closet and slams the clothes that she was holding in her hands back into the closet.

" You are absolutely no help," she says, stomping her feet as she walks to her bed.

" I don't see what the big deal is, we are going for one night to Forks," I say, sitting up to look at her. I have never seen Jade so concerned about what to wear since, well never. She has always been the roll out of bed, dress in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt type of girl.

" The big deal is we are meeting Edward, Emmett, and Alice's parents, that's the big deal," she says, and the tone of her voice has me perking up a bit. I look at her curiously before smirking smugly.

" Your nervous about meeting Edward's parents aren't you?" I ask, laughing.

" What do you think?" she asks, and I laugh even harder.

" Jade I am sure that they aren't going to care what their sons girlfriend is wearing," I say, biting the inside of my mouth so I wont laugh.

" I am not his girlfriend," she hisses storming back to the closet searching furiously through her clothes.

" I know go naked, its how Edward see's you the most," I say, ducking quickly out of the of a flying pair of boots. " What? I was just saying."

I shiver standing outside of the house. How it's possible that I am functional this early in the morning I don't know, but what I do know is that if I don't get into my warm car within the next minute I am going to freeze to death.

" Come on you guys, lets go," I say, my teeth chattering loudly as I force the words out. Finally Jade shuffles through the door grunting as she passes me. I walk to my car and slide in, looking curiously as Jade opens the back door instead of the passenger door.

" What are you doing?" I ask, rubbing my hands gratefully in front of the vent.

" Sitting in the back. Me and Edward are going to crash out," she says, yawning sleepily.

" He cant go to sleep, he is supposed to stay alert so that if I fall behind he can tell me where to go," I say, my voice sounding somewhat desperate.

" I think that's why I am here," Jaspers voice rings out and I look towards the passenger seat door.

" Oh," I say, smiling as he eases himself into the car.

" Hope you don't mind, but Emmett will be blasting music and singing obnoxiously loud, so I decided it would be a better bet if I was in the car with the sleeping people," he says, looking over his shoulder at where Edward and Jade were already passed out.

" Good idea," I say, clicking my seat belt on as soon as I see Emmett and Rosalie climb into their car.

Two hours into the drive I am squirming behind the wheel.

" You all right?" Jasper asks, turning the music down looking at me.

" Yeah, just, I need to stop," I say, glancing over at him nervously.

" You could have said something before now," he says, pulling out his cell phone. " Hey Em, pull over at the Chevron coming up," he say, holding his phone out so that I can hear what he says.

" Are you serious? Ana has to pee, again?" Emmett asks, his voice filled with disbelief.

" Hey it isn't my fault that I had to drink a gallon of coffee just to be able to function so damn early, because some people didn't want to leave at a decent hour," I say in defense.

" Yeah, yeah whatever you say half-pint. Admit it you have the bladder of a seventy year old woman," he says and I reach over snapping Jasper's phone shut for him. Jasper laughs shortly, running a hand over his side. I catch this movement out of the corner of my eye.

" Are you sure you should be traveling so soon after major surgery?" I ask, my voice fills with concern as I glance over at him. He smiles at me and sighs.

" Yeah, the doc gave me a clear bill of health, besides if I stayed cooped up in that house for one more minute I would have gone crazy," he says, as I maneuver the car into the gas station parking lot.

" Okay if you say so. Well do you want anything while I am in there?" I ask, reaching into my purse for my wallet.

" Coffee," he says reaching into his wallet for some cash. I hop out of the car before he can hand me any cash. I hate paying for things separately. So much easier to pay for things in just one transaction, at least to my way of thinking it is.

I stare at the Cullen house. I have never seen anything like it and I grew up in California. The sheer beauty of the house takes my breath away as I step out of the car. Jade and Edward woke up fifteen minutes after we pulled out of the gas station, and the car was lively after that. Full of music and laughing. Jade and I fall behind everyone else, walking slowly towards the front door. I stare at the huge windows and smile. I would love to live in a house like this someday,' I think to myself. The openness of it all. I could just picture sitting watching the rain or the snow drifting outside of the window and finding contentment. Emmett pushes the door open and the smell of something sweet cooking wafts towards me, making my mouth water.

" Mom, we're home," Emmett yells loudly, and I hear a melodic voice call from the back. " In the kitchen," I follow the group taking everything in. Hundreds of family pictures are on the walls, and I stop smiling to look at a few. Jade grabs my arm pulling me towards the kitchen. I walk in and see Emmett hugging and spinning a slim woman around the kitchen, and her laugh fills the kitchen sweetly. He sets her down and she turns to stare at the rest of us. I catch my breath. She is stunning. I can see where they get their dark hair now, and Alice is almost the spitting image of her.

" Mom, this is Ana, and Jade," Emmett says and she walks forward gracefully holding her arms out.

" Hello, I'm Esme, everyone has told me so much about you," she says and I hug her, feeling instantly at ease by the new surroundings.

" Was that Emmett I heard," a deep voice asks and I look over my shoulder, stunned by who I see. It's the doctor. The doctor that saved Jasper.

" Hey dad," Edward says clapping him into a tight hug.

" Hello son," he says, pulling away beaming. Emmett and Edward may get their hair and eyes from their mother, but the smile on their dad's face is the same one that Emmett and Edward have. I smile as he steps forward, gathering me and Jade in a hug at once.

" Sorry, this is Ana and Jade," Edward says, walking to stand next to Jade. I smile at how warm the house is. Not temperature wise, but the emotional feel of it.

" Ahh, yes, I do believe I met Ana for a short time when Jasper woke up. I'm Carlisle," he says, walking to stand next to his wife. In that moment I feel like I am on the outside looking in at the most beautiful family that I have ever seen. The kitchen erupts in laughter and chatter and Jade and I drift towards each other.

" Can you believe how cute their dad is? And he's a doctor, why didn't you tell me you met him?" Jade whispers bumping her hip against mine.

" No I cant believe how cute he is. And I didn't know who he was we didn't really get the chance to exchange names when Jasper woke up," I say, bumping her back.

" Seriously though this is just one amazingly gorgeous family," Jade says smiling at the picture in front of us. They are all just so at ease with each other, and I find myself feeling slightly envious.

" Must be something in the water," I say, laughing as Jade nods in agreement.

" Mmm, they must drink a lot of water," she says, and I roll my eyes as she eyes Edward. I walk back down the hall leaving the noise of the kitchen to stare at the pictures on the wall. I smile as I run my finger around some of the frames and stop to stare at a youthful picture of Edward, Emmett, and Jasper.

" I remember when that was taken," Jaspers voice says from next to me, and I look over my shoulder at him. " We had just gotten done playing a game of touch football, you would never have guessed that just a few minutes before that Edward and I were rolling in the grass fighting." I smile listening to him talk about the memory.

" Your incredibly lucky," I say, as I move down the line coming to a picture of Jasper and Rosalie with their parents, " Some people never get the chance to have something like this." Its quiet for awhile and Jasper comes to stand right next to me. He reaches down and takes my hand. I smile at the feel of it and look over at him.

" Yes, some people are lucky, and some people are even luckier because they get to make their own family," he says, squeezing my hand. I think about that for a second and nod in agreement. He is right they have all become family to me so quickly it was almost breathtaking. He keeps a hold on my hand as he walks me back towards the kitchen and the sound of Emmett and Edwards loud laughter.


	23. Chapter 23: Smoke and Mirrors

**Authors Note: Still dont own twilight...unfortunately....However Ana and Jade are still and always will be mine hehehe. Anyways, this chapter just kind of flowed out tonight and as all Jade fans can see, it is a Jade chapter!!! Hope that YOU ALL enjoy, so buckle up kiddos, it going to be a bumpy ride :D Read, Enjoy, and REVIEW!!!!!**

**Chapter 23: Smoke and Mirrors**

**_Jade's POV_**

I have never been the jealous type, because jealousy is a pointless emotion. I was taught from a young age that if you want something, you have to work for it, nothing is ever handed to you. I can say I am jealous right now. I stand at the door way of the kitchen watching everyone sitting around the dinner table laughing and talking after dinner. I am jealous of the way Ana so easily fits in anywhere she goes, but most of all I am jealous of the obvious love and the deep connection that Edward, Emmett, and Alice obviously grew up with. It wasn't that my family didn't love me, they just never showed it. My parents divorced when I was young and the majority of my life was spent shuttled between my Mom and Dad's house, every other weekend. I never had an actual home. Somewhere that I could escape and walk through the door and know that I was safe and loved. I sigh heavily at my own thoughts and walk down the hall. I am drawn to the pictures on the wall just as Ana was. The happiness is apparent, I can almost feel it radiating out of the pictures and washing over me. I walk down the line staring at pictures of youthful Edward and his siblings and stand frozen at one picture. It's her again. With her perfect smile and her perfect hair, and her perfectly slim arms wrapped around Edward the smile beaming on her face. 'Just want to punch her,' I think. I sigh angrily to myself. What is with me? I have never felt this way, and if this is what it feels like to be in love, can I just pass? I am pulled from my thoughts when someone politely clears their throat behind me. I turn and see Edward's dad, Carlisle standing and studying me. His hand tucked in his pocket and I am speechless by how much he and Edward resemble each other.

" Am I interrupting something?" he asks, smiling at me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking about. I blush ever so slightly as I cast a last glance at the picture of Edward and Bella.

" No sorry, I was just," I say trailing off not sure how to explain what exactly I was doing. He smiles quickly looking at me.

" Does my son know your in love with him?" he asks, his voice low and curious. I can feel my eyes widen at him as I run my fingers nervously through my hair.

" Is it that obvious?" I ask, immediately trying to close off my emotions. Feeling vulnerable scares me more than anything in this world, especially when I feel that way around a stranger.

" Yes, but as perceptive as my son is, sometimes he misses what is right in front of his face," he says easily, walking towards me. He takes my arm and leads me to the living room away from the noise in the kitchen. I sit on the black couch, my legs pulled up, my arms wrapped around my knees and I twirl my hair nervously around my fingers.

" So I hear that you are pre-med," he says, easily transitioning the conversation into a topic that I can handle. I smile and nod my head.

" Yeah. Its hard, I mean I knew that it wasn't going to be a cake walk, but its harder than I imagined," I say, cringing at the thought of all of the homework waiting for me back in Seattle.

" I remember those days, and I wouldn't go back for anything," he says laughing. I laugh with him, enjoying the easiness of the conversation. " Do you know what field you want to go in?"

" Not really, I was thinking surgery, but now I am thinking maybe emergency medicine. I watched when they were working on Jasper, and the fluidity of the doctors and nurses was astounding," I say, my memories shifting back to that night. When Rosalie, Emmett, and I stood in the emergency room, listening to the organized chaos. I felt like I was in my element, and my ears strained for every little bit of conversation I could pick up underneath the noise.

" I started out in emergency medicine, before I went into surgery," he says and I snap out of my memory.

" Can I ask you something?" I ask, clasping my hands in front of me. He nods and I think about how to ask what I want to ask as nicely as I can.

" You are an amazing surgeon, I mean you saved Jasper. What I don't understand is with your skill, why you aren't working at a bigger hospital? Somewhere you can make more money, deal with more patients," I say, praying what I just said, didn't offend him.

" You know, there have been times where I thought about how easily it would be to go and work in the bigger hospitals, but then, I think about Forks. It's as small town as you can get, and it has always been home. Before I decided to take the pay cut and move back here with Esme and the boys, the closest hospital with a surgeon on hand was an hour away. So I decided that it would be much more profitable in the long run to be here, helping people, then to be in the big city," he says, his eyes sparkling under the lights. We get lost in our conversation about medical school, and his stories of residency. I laugh at something he says and look up to see Edward standing in the door way, a stormy expression on his face.

" Mom told me to let you both know that if you have any hope to get some of the cake she made you might want to come and get it now, before Emmett eats it all," he says, fixing a small smile to his face.

" Oh, don't have to tell me twice. Jade, remember what I said, if you ever need help with anything, or just someone to talk to about the craziness of med school, you can always call me," Carlisle says and I smile and nod as he walks from the room. Edward stands staring at me for a minute before he says anything to me.

" So are you going to come eat some cake?" he asks, studying my face.

" Actually, I'm not really in the mood for cake," I say, looking at him. I don't know what has gotten into him, or why he seems so distant. Everything was fine this morning, when we were sleeping next to each other in the back seat of the car. He doesn't say anything to that, he just turns around leaving me to sit by myself in the living room. I groan to myself as I lay my head down on the arm of the couch. What is with him? Is there some sort of secret meaning to his cold demeanor?' I think to myself.

" Hey you, what have you been doing?" Ana's voice floats through the room and I open my eyes to see her sitting on the floor in front of me.

" Nothing really. I had a pretty good conversation with Carlisle," I say, conveniently leaving out the fact that Edward was acting like a PMSing teenager. I could see her eyes searching my face.

" What's the matter?" she asks, scooting closer so that we could whisper and no one could over hear.

" I don't know," I say, rolling my eyes, " It's Edward. Ever since we stepped into this house, he has just been acting so weird. Like he doesn't want his parents to know that what is going on between us is going on." She stares at me for awhile, a tense silence falling between us.

" Jade, did you ever think that maybe it has something to do with Bella?" she asks, and those words make everything fall into place. Of course he is acting weird, this house has to hold a million memories of his relationship with her.

" Shit, no I didn't even think about that, all I thought about was how much I want to punch her in the face," I say, and Ana laughs loudly, slapping her hand over her mouth looking guilty.

" Okay, so we have it narrowed down to two games to play," Emmett's voice booms through the room. " We can play poker or, we can play truth or dare."

" Truth or dare, seriously Em, what are we twelve?" I ask, rolling my eyes at him from across the room.

" Well I don't see anyone coming up with a better idea," he says, sitting down, his cheery mood somewhat extinguished by my unwillingness to play along.

" Come on Jade, what is the worst thing that can happen?" Ana asks, from her spot on the couch across from me. She smiles happily at something that Jasper whispers to her, and I groan.

" Fine, fine," I say, squirming in my seat, " I will play truth or dare."

" Yes!" Emmett exclaims, bounding towards me pulling me into a bone rattling hug.

" I get to go first though," I say, pulling away from Emmett's tight embrace. I scan the room trying to decide who to put on the spot first.

" Ana, truth or dare?" I ask, smiling in smug satisfaction as the color rushes to her face.

" Truth," she murmurs fiddling nervously with her hands.

" Okay, is it true that Jasper is the best kiss you have ever had?" I ask, knowing that the question asked wouldn't be hard, nor embarrassing for her to answer, and she smiles easily.

" Oh yeah," she says smiling and Jasper blushes deeply. I sit back feeling satisfied that I did my part to participate. I listen to the game continue around me, when Edward, who spent the majority of the time in the room staring at his cell phone, suddenly gets up and storms up the stairs.

" What was that all about?" Emmett asks aloud, and everyone looks at each other.

" I have no idea, but lets find out," Rosalie says, getting up from her seat on Emmett's lap. I follow behind her, creeping up the stairs with Emmett, Ana, and Jasper close behind. We stop when we hear the hushed, yet furious voice of Edward coming from behind his door. I walk closer to the door and press my ear cautiously to it.

" How are you going to text me seven months after YOU left ME, and tell me something like that?" Edward says, his voice muffled only slightly by the door.

" Oh boy, its Bella," Emmett says, and immediately Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Ana step away from the door.

" What do you think she could possibly have to say?" Rosalie asks, and I sense the bitterness in her voice.

" I don't know, but I am not going to stand here and listen," Jasper says, turning to walk slowly back downstairs, Ana with him, her arm wrapped protectively around his waist.

" Yeah, come on Rose. I mean I am all for eavesdropping on my brother, but not over something like this," Emmett says, and with that I am left alone in the hall, debating with myself on what to do. Go with everyone else, that's what I should do. It's the right thing to do. But part of me wars against the good side, telling me to stay and listen, and at the end of it all I can offer my shoulder to him. I slide against the wall listening to his hushed voice.

" Damn it Bella, I am not doing this again. You left me remember, you chose Arizona and Jacob over me," he spits out, I can feel the anger, but more so I can feel the pain in his words. " What no, no I haven't met anyone, and what would it matter if I did? Oh really? Well you know what Alice doesn't know anything, and believe me I will be having a talk with my sister to make it perfectly clear that she isn't to discuss anything that has to do with me, with you," he says, and I can hear him snapping his phone shut. I sit in stunned disbelief. What would it matter to Bella if he met someone else, and what's more, why would Edward deny meeting anyone else. I'm someone else, and we have met, on a few occasions. I get to my feet and knock softly on his door. When there is no response I open it slowly, peeking my head into his childhood room. Edward sits on the side of his bed, his head in his hands, shoulders hunched. As much as I want to ream his neck for denying me to Bella, my heart goes out to him. I walk to him slowly, easing onto the bed to sit next to him.

" Want to talk about?" I ask, looking over at him. Its silent for a moment before Edward turns accusing eyes towards me.

" Why, you heard everything," he says, spitting the words at me between clenched teeth.

" Sorry, I was just trying to figure out why you have been so distant," I say, my muscles tightening. " I am just so uncertain about where we stand Edward, I just don't, you make me feel so nervous and uneasy, and I just wish that we could talk about it," I say stumbling over my words. He stands up pacing to the window before he spins around towards me.

" There is nothing going on between us Jade, we slept together a few times, we are companionable, that's it," he says, and I can feel everything crumble away. Gone is the Edward who held me when I cried, the one who took me indoor skydiving for my birthday, who shared his biggest secret with me. In his place is a cold, callous, uncaring stranger. Anger courses through my veins, hot and wet, consuming all of the pain.

" Well isn't that nice. You get into a fight with the bitch and you take it out on me. You sure have taken a page from Jasper's book haven't you? You know how I feel about you, you have heard my thoughts, you know that I am in love with you, and you are going to stand here, because some stupid girl who was stupid enough to leave you, and treat me like I am nothing? That's fine Edward, treat me like nothing, I will be nothing. I wont talk to you, look at you, and I sure as hell wont be in your bed, ever again," I scream, storming to the door. I pull it open revealing Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Ana, all of their faces revealing shock and guilt. I storm past them and down the hall, Ana racing behind me. I slam out of the front door cursing the day that I laid eyes and hands on Edward Cullen.


	24. Chapter 24:Dont Lie & Say That Its Okay

**Author's Note: Hey Everyone! Sorry that it took so long, it has been a very long weekend to say the least! Any doodles, I dont now, nor have I ever owned Twilight or its characters. However, Ana & Jade are mine all mine :D So due to popula demand, I have decided that their will be a lot more chapters that involve Jade Pov's if not full Jade chapters. I thought writing this story that it would mostly be about Ana and Jasper's relationship, but Jade has just evolved into such a great charcter and her relationship with Edward has just become too big for her to play a side role. So I guess now this is a Jasper/Edward/OC/OC kind of story. Anyways enough with the rambling from me, please sit back, relax, READ & REVIEW! Here is Chapter 24 of ICFY!!!!!!!!!!**

**P.S Once again, thank you all sooo very much for the wonderful reviews, seriously you all are sooo amazingly awesome you have no idea :D**

**Chapter 24: Don't Lie and Say That It's Okay**

" Jade hold on, where are you going, will you just stop?" I yell after her, racing behind her as fast as I can. She stops abruptly and I run into her, grabbing onto her shoulder to stop myself from falling over. "What the hell was all of that about? What did you mean by he has heard your thoughts? Did you tell him you were in love with him while I was gone or something" She just stares at me, her big eyes gleaming with anger, but it's the pain I see in them that has my blood boiling.

" It's nothing just forget that I even said anything, okay? Just drop it," Jade says, her voice shaking as she turns away from me. I grab her arm turning her to look at me.

" Seriously Jade? How long have we known each other, and you are going to sit here and try telling me it was nothing, when you are shaking with anger, and even worse I can see your in pain," I say, grabbing her into a tight hug. Her body stiffens at first until finally she starts hugging me back. Then it happens. She starts crying, her body shaking with it. I pull her down to the ground with me, hugging her and rocking, letting her ride out the wave of emotion.

" He knows I am in love with him Ana, he knows, and he looked at me so coldly. Like I was nothing, like what we had was nothing," she says, the words tumbling out over the tears. I open my mouth to say something when I hear footsteps approaching. I look up to see Jasper and Edward looking at us. I can feel all of the angry words I can think of to say building inside of me, but I swallow them roughly.

" Is she okay?" Edward's voice rings out, and I can feel Jade begin shaking with fresh tears. I shake my head roughly, hoping he would get the point. Of course he didn't. Its so typical of him, he never takes a hint and just leaves you be. I have to at least give that much to Jasper, through all of the crap he put me through, he knew when to back off. Save for the flowers, balloons and teddy bear. I eye him precariously as he steps off of the porch and starts walking towards us. I can feel my muscles bunch as I prepare myself to launch at him if I have too. Or get the chance to in all honesty, because I feel like punching him in his face at this very moment. One thing about these Washington boys, never before them have I felt so inclined to stoop to physical violence before meeting them.

" Jade, please, come talk to me," Edward says as he kneels down so that he is right in front of us. 'If only I could shift this foot just the right way, I could so get him right where it will hurt the most,' I think to myself with a bit of dark amusement.

" Edward, don't you think that if she wanted to talk to you she would have stayed upstairs yelling at you?" I ask, tightening my arms around her instinctively. I hear Jade sniffle loudly against my shoulder before she pulls away to look at him. I watch them stare at each other, almost as if they are having a silent conversation, a thousand words passing between them in the silence. Edward reaches out his hand, pulling Jade to her feet.

" Jade, wait," I say struggling to circulate feeling through my sleeping legs. She looks solemnly over my shoulder, and looks at me.

" It's okay Ana," she says as she follows behind Edward. That is one of the million things that I have always admired about Jade. She never runs from her problems, she always faces them head on, even when she knows that in the end she will most likely end up with a broken heart.

" She'll be okay you know? Edward, he doesn't play around with emotions," Jasper's soft voice says from the porch. I turn to look at him, the soft light shining down on him, illuminating the paleness of his skin.

" That at least makes one of you," I say, walking past him into the house. As nice as the last week of forgetting the problem at hand has been, I know that there are still answers I am seeking. I still want to know why, if Jasper doesn't feel for me the way that I feel for him, he has been leading me on. Most of all, I want to know why I cant seem to fall out of love with him.

**Jade's POV**

Sitting in the cold air I should be shivering as I stare at Edward, but the anger and pain courses through me as hot as fire, shielding my body from the night air. I don't know how much time has passed, all I know is that if Edward doesn't start talking soon I am walking away. I will walk back to Seattle for all I care.

" That wouldn't be a smart idea," Edward's velvety voice rings through the air, his breath puffing out in a white cloud.

" Stop reading my mind," I hiss out, crossing my arms tightly across my chest. I glare at him, waiting to see what he has to say for himself.

" Listen, I know that there are no words that can make what I said to you excusable. All I can say is that I am sorry. It's just what Bella said, it just pissed me off so much, and it drug up all of these old feelings that I thought were long gone," he says, his words rushing into each other as he nervously shoves his hands into his pockets.

" Answer just one question Edward," I say, my voice shaking. " Do you still love her?" I wait for his answer. I can almost count the breath's he takes. I can feel my heart sinking, as the knowledge takes me over. ' Just like Jasper, he's just like Jasper,' the voice in my head screams at me.

" No, yes, no, I don't know Jade," he finally says spinning away with me frustration in his voice. I watch him as he paces and I can feel my heart breaking slowly, falling away. " It's just what she said on the phone, it has me all mixed up."

" What did she say?" I ask, rubbing my hands together, hoping that some warmth will reach my finger tips.

" She said she is pregnant, seven months pregnant to be exact," he shudders out. " We were together only one time, in our whole relationship, and it was exactly a month before she broke up with me and left." With that single confession everything I thought, or hoped could be fell away.

" Do you believe her?" I ask, my heart pounding so loudly I can hear it beating in my ears. He looks up at me, and I feel hurt for him. He looks tired as he looks at me, running a shaky hand through his hair.

" Yes," he says, grimacing like the word he said tastes as bad as it is for me to hear.

" What are you going to do?" I ask, steeling myself against the new wave of rage.

" What has to be done," he says, walking slowly towards me to sit next to me. I look at him, where he sits.

" Edward, do you love her?" I ask again, willing him to say no. Just say no.

" I don't know. All that I know is that she is carrying my child and I have to do right by that child," he says, his eyes lock on mine. I close my eyes on a heavy sigh. His warm hand reaches through the darkness touching my face softly. " But it doesn't stop me from being in love with you Jade." I stop breathing as I launch myself to my feet walking away from him. I gasp for air, trying to un-hear his words.

" You cant say something like that to me," I say, turning my burning eyes towards him. " You cant in one breath tell me that you don't know if you love her and you have to do right by your child, and turn around and tell me that you are in love with me. That isn't fair Edward and you know it." he walks towards me grabbing me in a tight hug, and I struggle against him, trying to pull away from the embrace.

" You had to know. I couldn't let you walk away tonight thinking that what I said upstairs had any truth to it. From the first night that we were together, and well before that, I have been in love with you. I only wish that I would have told you before this moment," he whispers into my hair. I tighten my body against him, and wait for him to release me. He runs his hand through my hair, brushing a dark lock from my face, and bends down to brush his warm lips against my forehead. I watch as he walks over the grass and disappears around the side of the house. My shaky legs finally give out as I fall weightlessly to the ground curling into myself. 'I love you Edward, don't go, I love you,' I think to myself over and over again in the darkness.

**Ana's POV**

The ride home from Forks was quiet. What was supposed to be a laid back, easy going trip to visit our friends' family, instead turned into a weird, moralistic episode of Jerry Springer. Jade laid out everything for me, her voice sounding distant and disconnected. I lay in our room still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Edward's ex-girlfriend was pregnant. I have my doubts. As any sane person would. Who hides a pregnancy for so long, without a whisper of it to the soon-to-be father. I sit up looking around and see that Jade's bed is empty. It's been that way for the last two days. She has been rising early spending all free time she has before and after classes in the lab, avoiding any and all possibility of running into Edward. Have to give it to the girl, when she wants to avoid someone, she gives it a one hundred and ten percent effort. I walk down stairs in search of a quick bite to eat before getting ready for my first class. I stop at the door as I see Jasper sitting at the table, reading a book. I haven't really talked to him since the night in Forks, and though a part of me feels guilty for what I said, another part of me isn't. It really is tiring to always feel like I am torn in two. Fighting the internal war of right and wrong. I walk to the fridge pulling it open trying to discreetly get what I want and get the hell out before Jasper even notices I am there.

" Good morning," Jasper says, and I groan inwardly. No such luck today, apparently.

" Morning," I say back pulling out a carton of yogurt.

" Haven't really seen Jade around much," he says, putting his book down, signaling to me that he was in the mood for a long, drawn out conversation. I pull a spoon from the drawer and slide it shut carefully.

" Can you blame her?" I ask, slipping myself onto the counter eating my yogurt slowly.

" Not really," he says, a small smile flirting with his lips. " I never thought, out of all of us that Edward would be the one."

" The one to what?" I ask curiously eyeing him over my yogurt.

" To get someone pregnant. Personally, and as much as I love my sister and Em, I always thought they would be first, they go at it like teenage jack rabbits," he says jokingly and I catch myself wrapped up in the humor.

" Well, at least as far as all of us know they have been smart about it," I say, setting my breakfast aside to look at him. An awkward silence falls between us and I am just about to slide off of the counter and make a fast exit when Jasper gets up and walks to me.

" Ana, listen. Something that you said this weekend, well, you were right," he says, leaning against the counter staring at me.

" I was right about what exactly?" I ask, nervously playing with the lid to the yogurt.

" About all of it. You have been right all along. I do know how you feel, and I have been using it to my advantage," he says, his face growing red with his confession. I just nod my head, knowing now that all along I was right about him. " But your wrong, when you think that I don't feel something for you. It's just that, its complicated to say the least." I stare at him, his hair still messy from sleep.

" I'm pretty sure its not as complicated as you think," I say, swinging my legs back and forth.

" Well, if you would just give me the chance to, " he starts, his voice cut off by the sound of the door bell ringing. 'Shit,' I think to myself. I roll my eyes as I hop off the counter.

" Don't go anywhere, I want you to finish that thought," I say walking to the front door. I pull open the front door, and see nothing but the back of someone's head. Brown hair falls luxuriously down their back and it blows easily from their shoulder as the faceless person turn to look at me. Recognition comes first as I realize that I am staring at the very pretty, very pregnant Bella.

" Bella?" Jasper questioning tone calls from behind me, and a smile forms on her face. She places one hand on her expanded waist and the other protectively over her stomach.

" Hey Jasper, is Edward here?" she asks, her light airy voice breezes out.

" Oh uhm yeah, why don't you come in. Sit down, relax," he says, walking out of the room. I step aside letting her in.

" Are you Jade," she asks, as she sits down eyeing me wearily.

" No, I'm Ana. Jade's my best friend," I say, my words coming out harsher than I intend for them too. " Damn it, I'm sorry. I don't mean to go into bitch mode, its just," I start saying and she laughs shaking her head.

" Listen, its okay. I understand," she says, wincing slightly as she moves in her chair.

" Are you okay?" I ask, panic rushing through me. 'Oh God, please, do not let this girl go into labor, not here, and definitely not when I am around, please, please, please,' I pray silently.

" Oh yeah, she just likes to move around a lot that's all," she says, rubbing her hand over her stomach nonchalantly.

" Bella," Edwards voice rings through the room, and I turn my head to see an astonished look on his face.

" Hi," she says, smiling, pulling herself up with help from the arm of the chair. I get up to leave the room and give them privacy when the front door slams open and shut.

" Can you believe it? The stupid lab is shut today, don't they know I am trying to avoi-" Jade's says, her voice trailing off as she turns and see's not only me, Edward, and Jasper, standing staring at her, but Bella too.

" You have got to be kidding me," she says, looking at everyone. I shoot my eyes towards Jasper, praying that somehow he will point me in the direction of a safe way out, because all hell is about to break loose.


	25. Chapter 25: When It Rains, It Pours

**Author's Note: Hello All! So I dont own Twilight or its characters, this is already known. But Jade and Ana are all mine hehe. SO this is just a warning. This chapter is chalk full of DRAMA!!! But what good is a story without some drama. I dont want this story to be cliche so Im sorry to anyone that was hoping that Ana and Japser, and Jade and Edward, would get together easily. But that isnt what I wanted to do. I want to show that people struggle and they fight for what they want. Anyways, hopefully everyone will Like this chapter. Sit back and relax. READ, REVIEW & ENJOY!!!!!**

**Chapter 25: When It Rains, It Pours.**

In the history of awkward silences this one had to be at the top. The last thirty seconds have felt like an eternity as I stare around the room. Edward, Bella, and Jade stand staring at each other, not moving and barely breathing.

" Well, not that this isn't fun," I say nervously toying with my hair. " But I really have to get going, have a class in a little while."

" You know come to think of it so do I. Why don't I give you a ride," Jasper says, making a mad dash up the stairs behind me. We get half way down the hall before we stop listening for some sort of conversation to start downstairs.

" I am so glad that at this very moment I am not Jade," I say, leaning against the wall.

" Your telling me, imagine being in Edward's shoes," he whispers a small smile lighting up his face.

" Oh that would be torture," I whisper back trying to hide my laughter. In all honesty it isn't funny, this whole situation should be heartbreaking, but I cant hold in the laughter. " Okay seriously, I have to get ready, cant be late." I say turning towards my room. Jaspers warm hand catches my wrist softly and I turn to look over my shoulder at him.

" I was serious, about giving you a ride. And maybe if you aren't busy later I would like to take you out," he says, keeping his hand on my wrist.

" Take me out?" I ask dumbly, my head swarming with giddiness.

" Yes, take you out. Like on a date," he says, smiling at me broadly, his gorgeous eyes shining down at me.

" Oh, well I would love too, but I have work after my last class," I say, cursing the fact that I couldn't just call in sick.

" After work then," he says his words rushing out. I try pulling my hand away from his, doubt rushing over me. Do I really want to jump into all of this again? Am I willing to be swept away by the complication that is Jasper? Hell, Yes! A sudden feeling of warmth and self-confidence washes over me as I simply nod my head and slip into my room.

**Jade's POV**

I stare at Edward, my eyes going back and forth between him and Bella. I hate her. And as much as I wish that I could just punch her in the face, I can tell by my quick assessment that she is exhausted and in pain.

" You know, you should really sit down. Didn't your doctor ever tell you that it isn't exactly smart for someone in your state to travel long distances?" I ask, peering at her through speculative eyes.

" It's been a healthy pregnancy, my doctor said I would be fine," Bella says, her eyes assessing me. I roll my eyes at her as I make my way to the stairs.

" As much fun as staying down here for this reunion would be, I think I will skip it," I say, starting to walk away.

" Jade wait," Edward says, his voice sounding strained. I turn slowly towards him.

" For what?" I ask, crossing my arms across my chest. We stand in silence staring at each other, before Bella clears her throat quietly. Edward looks right at her walking towards her, and I make my escape up the stairs. I walk into my room, and hear Ana humming happily to herself. She all but breezes out of the closet a smile plastered to her face. It drops away as she looks at me.

" What happened?" she asks, looking at me worried.

" Nothing happened, nothing at all," I say, flopping down onto my bed.

" Do you want me to skip class. I can stay here with you, we can do some therapy with Ben and Jerry's mint chocolate chip ice cream, just like we used too whenever one of us had a broken heart," she says, easing her slight frame onto the corner of my bed. I think about it, and I seriously think about taking her up on the offer.

" No, you should go," I whisper out and fake a smile.

" Are you sure? I have plans for after work, but I can cancel them and we can hang out in our room and bash guys," she says looking at me worriedly.

" What plans?" I ask sitting up to look at her. I cant miss the smile that forms on her face.

" Oh well, uhm, Jasper, he uhm, kind of asked me out on a date," she answers nervously fiddling with her fingers. I punch her arm lightly.

" Hell girl. Go have fun, don't worry about me. You better fill me in on all of the details when you get back," I say, smiling at her sincerely.

" Okay. If you change your mind, call me," she says, picking up her bag. She opens the door and smiles sympathetically at me over her shoulder before she closes the door behind. I slump back against my pillows and shut my eyes tightly. At least she is happy, finally one of us gets to have what will make us happy.

I walk down the stairs searching for any sign of Edward and Bella and thank whatever holy being that may be that I don't see or hear them anywhere. I sigh heavily as I walk into the kitchen, happy that the silence is the only company I will be keeping. I pull open the door to the refrigerator and begin rummaging, in search of something edible. Someone has been slacking on the grocery store runs. I close the door looking at the list on the fridge and see that it was Emmett. Of course, as much as I love him, he slacks on just about everything. Why should grocery shopping be any different? I grumble under my breath when the sound of the front door opening catches my attention.

" Where is she?" Alice rushes in, a mixed look on her face.

" Who?" I ask, trying to keep my eyes on her as bounces around the kitchen.

" Bella," she says, and her voice is filled with icy anger.

" Oh, I don't know. I didn't stick around long enough to find out where her and Edward were going," I say, swallowing harshly against the words that are building inside of me.

" I am going to kill her. I mean I have known girls that have stooped low to get someone back, but never this and not my brother. Hell no, I wont let it happen," she says whirling around the kitchen. I have seen Alice be a lot of things, but never this angry. Never before has she been this enraged. I walk to her, putting my arms on her shaking shoulders.

" Okay Alice, slow down, and tell me what exactly you are talking about," I say, staring into her eyes, the same eyes she shares with her big brother. She takes a deep breath and looks at me.

" It's about the baby," she says, and I look at her confused.

" Is there something wrong with the baby Alice?" I ask, concern coursing through me. I may not like Bella, but the doctor in me takes over as I shake her shoulders for the answer.

" The baby is fine Jade," she says sounding frustrated, " She isn't Edward's. The baby isn't Edward's." I feel my hands slide limply down off of her arms and I look at her through hazy eyes.

**Ana's POV**

I sit in the sound booth, watching a newly found band work together nervously. My eyes flash to the clock for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. I hit the intercom button and smile through the glass.

" Okay guys, seriously we can only record this song once more before our time is up for the day. It sounded good the last time around, but if you want it to be amazing, lets make this one count. This time, maybe we can pick up the speed just a little, maybe have the drums come out a little stronger," I say, letting off the button when the un-kept band nods in agreement. I lean back listening keenly to the start of the song, and I smile as I mouth the words. This band will be great, if I have any say about it. It was by pure chance that I found them. I was walking the familiar street between here and the college when I heard them playing outside of a small coffee shop. I close my eyes listening to the words and the music, the rhythm sweeping me away. I open my eyes slowly when the end of the song comes and I smile slowly.

" That was amazing you guys, seriously magic," I say smiling broadly through the glass at them. I walk out of the studio feeling as if I am floating on cloud nine. I look through the door of the building and feel my heart start slamming in my chest as I see Jasper leaning lazily against his car. His hands tucked in his jacket pocket while the breeze blows lightly at his hair. I push through the door and stop looking up at him.

" You look happy," he says, opening the door to his car for me.

" I am happy, the last recording went amazingly well," I say sliding into the seat easily. I settle in and smile as he walks around the front end of his car getting in and shutting the door behind him.

" Well, I hope that this day only keeps getting better for you," he says, pulling away from the curb and we settle into a content silence.

" So you are telling me, that Emmett seriously dressed up as a girl for a whole day his senior year and nobody caught on?" I ask, laughing loudly over dinner. Jasper's eyes sparkle with humor as he nods at my words.

" Yes," he says simply leaning back in his chair. " So, do you think you have room for dessert?"

" No I don't think it would be possible to eat another bite," I say, pushing my plate away with a groan. We sit in silence as Jasper pays the check. We walk out of the restaurant into the cool air and Jasper takes my hand linking his fingers with mine.

" So where are we going?" I ask, walking slowly.

" Somewhere special," he says as he continues walking. It isn't long before I realize that we are standing in front of my office building.

" Really? Work?" I ask, looking at him in disbelief.

" Oh come on," he says pulling me through the door. I walk slowly behind him as he leads me into one of the sounds booths that was left unlocked. " Now, I have heard you strumming your guitar so many mornings and I have heard you sing, now just do it in here."

" Are you kidding me? I cant sing in front of you," I say, shrinking into the corner of the booth nervousness taking over my body. He reaches out brushing the hair out of my face, and I feel complete ease wash over me.

" You can do this Ana," he says easily, leading me to a chair. I sit down and pick up my guitar and stare at him as he walks to the other side of the glass. He nods at me once and I take a deep breath beginning to strum the chords to a song I didn't know was in me. I close my eyes letting the music take me away, some where else, where everything was good in life. Where the girl falls in love, and is loved back. No complications, no doubts, no heartbreak. I open my eyes and smile shakily, surprised by the tears that are rolling down my cheeks. Jasper's expression is unreadable and I put my guitar down, running my hands up and down on my legs. I watch as he walks into the room a small smile on his face.

" That, was, there are no words to how beautiful that was Ana," he says, running a hand down my face.

" Thank you," I say, blushing deeply. I look up at him as he leans down kissing me softly. I feel breathless and hopeless all at once as I look into his eyes as he pulls away. " Jasper," I whisper.

" Ana, this is all so complicated. There are things you need to know," he starts and I look at him worry coursing through me.

" What do I need to know?" I ask, fear racing through me, as I think that he is about to say something about Alice.

" You will never believe me," he says, leaning away from me running his fingers through his hair.

" Try me," I say, getting to my feet to look at him. My body feels at war with itself, I know I feel anxious and scared, but a strange calm wars through me smothering everything else.

" Your scared," he says looking at me solemnly. " Your scared right now, and earlier you were incredibly nervous. I can feel what people feel Ana. I can feel it, and I can manipulate it." I stare at him for a second as his words circle in my head.

" Wait, what?" I say, backing away from him.

" I can manipulate what people feel. If they are scared I can make it go away, or I can make it ten million times worse. I can make people feel things," he says slowly, as he stares at me. All the pieces fall into place as I look at him.

" So wait. All of this time, you have known, no, you have felt what I feel for you, and you have used it?" I ask, my voice shaking with anger.

" Yes," he answers simply, hanging his head in shame.

" You felt my love for you and you used it? Why?" I ask, wrapping my arms around myself as if I can hold myself together.

" I thought that if I could manipulate what you felt for me, and use it, that Alice would see it. And then she would think twice about what she did, that she would feel some sort of remorse," he says on a shaky breath. " I was wrong though. Because Alice is in no more control for what she feels for Mike, than I am for what I feel for you."

" I cant, no, I cant do this right now," I say, backing away from him and out of the sound booth. I run through the building into the cold air, and it hits me like a wall. I shiver uncontrollably against the air as I run through the darkness all the while Jasper's words playing over and over in my head. I race up the front steps of the house and rush through the front door running head on into an un-suspecting Emmett.

" Hey, whoa, slow down, what's going on?" he asks, grabbing a hold of me as I gasp for air.

" Did you know? Of course you knew, you all knew," I say pulling myself from his hands. He stares at me blankly before my words sink in.

" Uh oh. He told you, didn't he?" he asks weakly, shuffling his feet.

" Yes he told me. Everyone knew didn't they? And no one told me. All this time I thought that I had friends here, people who would have my back, and I was wrong, so very wrong," I say, my voice raising with panic and anger.

" Ana, that isn't true. We told him to tell you. Edward, Rose, Alice, Jade," he starts rambling cursing under his breath as the last name slips from his mouth. I feel my eyes widen as I look at him.

" Jade knew?" I ask, looking at him unbelieving. Jade never keeps anything from me, and I know she wouldn't start now, not to cover for Jasper.

" Shit," he says partially under his breath as he closes his eyes. I race up the stairs and burst through the door of our bedroom. I look at Jade as she and Alice stare at me, shock on their faces.

" You knew. How long have you known?" I ask, my body vibrating with anger.

" Ana, honey, you aren't making any sense," Jade says getting up from her bed walking towards me.

" You know what I mean, about Jasper," I say, backing away from her.

" Oh, yeah. Listen Ana, I wanted to tell you, and we all pushed him to tell you. Edward told me on my birthday about everything," she says pulling her hands behind her back knowing that I don't want her touching me when I am this mad.

" Everything? What more is there?" I ask, looking between her and Alice.

" Jasper isn't the only one with a little, extra," she says walking to sit next to Alice. I stare at her waiting for someone to say something.

" I can see the future, and Edward, he can read minds," Alice says easily, unashamed of what others would find impossible to believe.

" Seriously?" I ask, looking at them like this is all some bad joke. When no smile or outburst of laughter follows I slump heavily on my bed. " It feels like I have been dropped into a real life episode of the Twilight Zone."

" Your telling me," Jade says at length and I sit up to look at her. As much as I want to be mad at her, I know that she is going through her own personal hell. And as much as we share everything, there are some things that Jade will keep to herself if she thinks that it will protect me in the long run.

" I wish someone would have told me," I say, sitting up, the last of my anger subsiding into disbelief and sadness.

" I know that you must be feeling completely blindsided right now Ana, but you have to understand. We would have told you if we could have. It wasn't our place to share. We have an understanding, all of us. That we share what we can do only when necessary and only with people that we trust," Alice says, looking at me seriously. I close my eyes on a shaky breath.

" That's understandable. I don't have to like it, but I can understand it," I say, pulling my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around legs. I lay my head on my lap and sigh. " This just makes things a million times more complicated than they already were."

" They only get worse," Jade says, her voice sounding sad and broken. I peer up at her and read her face.

" What are you talking about?" I ask, taking my time with my words. Do I really want to know? How can things possibly get worse?

" Alice saw something," she says looking at me seriously.

" Like what?" I ask, sitting up further to look at her.

" Something about Bella's baby," she says shaking with newly found anger.

" What, is the baby going to be okay?" I ask, worry coursing through me.

" The baby's going to be fine, beautiful actually. The problem is, the baby isn't Edward's," Alice says, grimacing at me. I sit in stunned silence looking at them huddled together.

" Are you serious?" I ask, and Jade nods her head sadly. " We have to tell him, he has a right to know."

" He wont believe us. Its too late now anyways, he has made his choice," Alice says, her voice sounding strangely far away.

" What do you mean he has made up his mind?" Jade and I ask together as I get up walking towards her. Her eyes have darkened and the look in them tells me she is miles away. She closes her eyes tightly and opens them looking up at me.

" They are going to get married," she says, her voice quavering, and instinctively I wrap my arm tightly around Jade.

" What? When, we have to stop it," Jade says, her voice breaking as tears soak hotly into my shirt.

" There is no time, its too late. I already said it, his mind is made up," Alice says, and my body rocks against the fury of Jade's tears. Like they say, when it rains, it pours, and it looks like the storm has just begun.


	26. Chapter 26: Fake It

**Author's Note: I dont own Twilight or its characters. So this was kind of a rough chapter to get out...hit a bit of writers block. But my best friend helped me from the rut soo if this chapter sucks I AM SORRY!!!! Forgive me. Anyways, please Read, Review, and Enjoy :D**

**Chapter 26: Fake It**

" You know what I don't understand?" I ask scooping a bite of ice cream from the carton in Jade's hand.

" What?" Jade asks her mouth full.

" Why guys act the way that they do," I say sitting back against the bed crossing my legs.

" Honey, if any female understood the male species completely it would be a miracle," Alice says, laughing hysterically. I laugh along unsure why its so funny to me. The only explanation I can find is that we are very thoroughly high off of sugar. For the last three hours Jade, Alice, and I have been shut up in our room trying to think of the best way to stop Edward from marrying Bella, the lying bitch.

" You know what I don't understand?" Jade asks, perking up looking at us while she bounces on her bed.

" What?" I ask, setting my spoon aside turning my full attention to her.

" How Edward doesn't know about the truth? You would think that someone with his ability would know that the baby isn't his," she says, her tone turning serious as she searches Alice's face for answers.

" That's an easy one to answer. Bella and Edward were together for a long time, and in the span of their relationship, Bella learned how to hide what she was thinking," Alice says throwing the ice cream container in the trash can.

" How is that possible. I don't even know what I am thinking or what I am going to be thinking, until I'm already thinking it," I say laughing at the sentence that just came out of my mouth. " Did that even make sense?"

" Actually, yeah," Jade says laughing hysterically.

" Okay you guys, on a serious note. How are we going to stop this?" I ask, strumming the strings on my guitar.

" I don't know if we can stop it," Jade says, her voice filling quickly with pain.

" Like hell we cant. My brother is going to make the biggest mistake of his life if he marries Bella. I don't know why he is even considering that as an option, especially after the way that he talked about Jade that weekend," Alice starts saying her voice cutting off as she realizes she just opened a whole new Pandora's box.

" What do you mean the way he talked about me?" Jade asks, looking at Alice her eyes gleaming with tears and curiosity.

" Well, I might as well tell you," she starts, and I lean in closer to hear what is about to be said.

**Edward's POV**

I sit staring at Bella. My emotions in an uproar, part of me wants to protect her, and my unborn child. Another part of me wishes she would have never told me so that I could go on and be with Jade. Jade. Just the thought of her has my heart longing. Why did this have to happen now? It was just a few weeks ago that I took the big leap and told my family how I felt. I probably would have kept my mouth shut if it wasn't for the fact that Jade and Ana had stayed home instead of coming along. It would have been easier if they would have come. At least then, I would be the only one who knew how I felt. I close my eyes, recalling the memory of that weekend easily.

_The drive is familiar and I smile at the sign welcoming us to Forks, welcoming us home. The last month has been a whirlwind of emotions. Mostly from Jasper and Ana. Those two are so meant for each other it should be illegal. As much as I want to help their situation, I have my own emotions to deal with. Bella walked out of my life without a second thought, and the fact that I need Jade in my life like I need my next breath scares me to no end. I shake my head against the thought, and tune back in to Emmett talking excitedly in the seat next to me. _

" _Seriously bro, I don't know why I am so excited to be coming home," Emmett says, smiling a broad smile. _

" _Maybe because you have it in your head that Mom is going to bake her famous seven layer cake," I say, laughing at the dream like look that passes over his face. _

" _Ahh, cake," he says, his face brightens at the thought. _

" _Somehow I doubt you will get that lucky," I say pulling into the drive way. _

" _Just you watch, we are going to walk into that kitchen and my cake is going to be sitting, waiting for me," he says, hopping easily out of the car. I laugh at him as I push out of the car, stretching before I follow behind him. Alice and Jasper will be here any minute and I pray that Jasper isn't sulking, and Alice is floating around on her cloud of love. I love my sister, and I am happy that she has found happiness with Mike even though I don't like the guy. I just wish she wouldn't flaunt her relationship in front of Jasper. I sigh heavily realizing you win some and you lose some. And this is a battle that was lost from the beginning. Alice knew months before she actually broke up with Jasper that things weren't going to work out, and she could have made a clean break. She didn't though. She was too afraid of hurting him, and in the end letting him hold on for as long as he did hurt him more. I smile at Emmett's triumphant call from the kitchen. I walk in and smile at him lazily as he cuts a very healthy portion for himself. _

" _I told you, I knew the cake would be here," he says, shoveling food into his mouth. _

" _Yeah, yeah," I say smiling. I turn my head in time to see Alice and Jasper walking in, both of their faces carefully blank. _

" _Hello my loves," my Mom's voice floats through the air and we all rush to hug her. I take in the comforting scent of her hair and smile. All feelings of tension and doubt melting away as she presses a small kiss to my cheek. _

" _Hey Mom," I say pulling away to look at her. She smiles at all of us, her beautiful face lightly lined with her age, and still I find her the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. _

" _I hate to do this, seeing as how all of my favorite people have just gotten here, but I have to run to the store and to a few other places, I shouldn't be long though. Your Dad should be home just in time for dinner," she says pressing kisses to Alice and Jasper's foreheads while picking up her purse and coat. " Oh and Emmett, don't eat all of the cake before dinner, you will ruin your appetite." We laugh in unison as Emmett gloomily puts down his empty plate. Its almost as if everyone was holding their breaths until we hear the tires to her car pulling away over the gravel. _

" _So when is Rosalie supposed to get here?" Alice asks as she bounces to the counter hopping up lightly sitting happily staring at Emmett._

" _Soon. She insisted on going to some seminar, but she said she would leave as soon as it was over," Emmett answers, leaning against the counter his eyes constantly finding their way back to the cake on the counter. _

" _Good. So Edward," Alice says, her voice light and breezy. _

" _What Alice?" I ask, eyeing her precariously. _

" _Have you heard from Bella lately?" she asks, looking at me seriously. I stare back, shocked that she would even ask. She would be the first to know. _

" _No," I say, my voice coming out a bit harsher than I intended. _

" _Okay, so if you haven't heard from her, and you act like you are completely over her, what is really going on with Jade?" she asks, seemingly unaffected by tone. I look around the kitchen as everyone turns knowing eyes to me. _

" _Nothing. No that's a lie. I don't know you guys. Its all just so different with her," I say letting out a breath as I drop heavily into the closest chair. _

" _This is going to be good," Emmett says, sitting across from me, and Jasper eases into a sitting position listening keenly. _

" _Its hard to explain. Its like, with Bella things were always so forced, and not care free. Yet I worked my ass off to make her happy, because I loved her. She was my whole entire life for so long. Then she left. Just vanished. Chose someone else and left me behind. I don't have to go into the dark details of what came for the first few months after she was gone. Then suddenly, its like someone just turned the light back on in my world. Jade. Everything is so simple with her, I think I might be in love, and it scares the hell out of me," I say, feeling somewhat relieved to have it off my chest, but vulnerable all at the same time. _

" _You've got it bad," Emmett murmurs and Jasper and Alice nod in agreement. _

" _Thanks guys, that's a lot of help," I say sighing heavily as I lay my head against the table closing my eyes against their speculating eyes. _

" Edward, are you listening to me?" Bella's annoyed voice pulls me roughly from my memory and I shake my head looking at her.

" Sorry, what was that?" I ask, looking at her blankly. She rolls her eyes and looks at me seriously.

" What are we going to do?" she asks, pointing to her extended belly. Part of me feels like running away as fast as I can out of pure instinct but the moral part of me knows what has to be done.

" We'll get married," I say, taking her hand. A small astonished look crosses over her face, before a smile lights her up.

" Okay yes, we will get married," she says easily, settling against me. I cringe inwardly as she links her fingers with min, placing my free hand on her stomach. This is wrong all wrong. It should be Jade in my arms not Bella, and there was nothing I could do about it.

**Jade's POV**

I pace the floor as Alice's words play in my head like a record on repeat. So all of this time, way before anything even really happened between us Edward has loved me. Only he never spoke of it until he found out that his ex-girlfriend was supposedly pregnant with his child. He told me he loved me in the same breath that he told me with unspoken words that we could never be.

" That bastard," I hiss out, stopping to look at Alice and Ana.

" Come again. Did you not hear what I said? He confessed to all of us that he was falling head over heels in love with you, and your response to that is he's a bastard?" Alice asks, sibling protection flowing through her voice.

" Well, its all fine and dandy for him to confess what he is feeling to everyone but the person that he is feeling it for," I say, falling onto my bed to stare at the ceiling. It's silent for a moment before a soft voice fills the room.

" Do you think, and this is just a possibility. And remember I am your best friend so I will always be on your side. But don't you think that maybe he was just waiting for the right time to tell you everything, and Bella just kind of ruined it for him?" Ana asks, and I sit up to look at her. She looks nervous about what she just said, and I have to admit as much as I hate it, that she is right. If it weren't for Bella, Edward probably would have done just that.

" So this still brings us back to one problem," Alice says, her eyes clouded with emotion. " How are we going to stop them from getting married?" We all stare at each other, the wheels in our heads turning as we contemplate plans on our own.

" What about Jacob? I mean, he has to know by know that Bella is gone, maybe we can talk to him. He has to have some idea that the child that Bella is carrying isn't Edwards," Ana says, twirling her hair nervously around her fingers.

" That's it I don't know why I thought of that," Alice says, getting to her feet in a hurry pressing an enthusiastic kiss to Ana's cheek.

" Wait, what?" I ask, feeling completely lost.

" Look I have to go make some phone calls. You guys fill Emmett, Rose, and Jasper in on what's going on, I will be back," she says over her shoulder as she rushes through the door. I stare at Ana feeling like I have been run over by a semi-truck.

" Well, looks like we have to have a house meeting," Ana says at length standing to her feet. I follow her lead.

" Yeah, this should be interesting. Hey guys sorry to wake you all up at two in the morning, but your brother and best friend is planning to marry Bella, the girl who has him convinced that she is pregnant with his child, but really, the kid isn't his," I say sarcastically as I trudge down the stairs. Oh yeah this is going to be one very interesting conversation.


	27. Chapter 27: Watching and Waiting

**Author's Note: Still not Stephanie Meyer, Just Amber. Therefore I dont own Twilight or its characters. I do however own Ana and Jade and they are pretty awesome in my book hehe :D So I am kind of happy with this chapter, a little humor, a little romance, a little bit of everything. I hope that you guys Enjoy!!!! So as always sit back, relax, and enjoy Chapter 27 :D Read, Review, and ENJOY!!!**

**Chapter 27: Watching and Waiting**

**Jade's POV**

" Jade please, please, please don't make me do this. Why cant you get Jasper for the meeting, and I will go wake up the love birds," Ana says in a hushed whisper, pleading.

" No. Why cant you get Jasper?" I ask, standing in the dark hallway pushing her towards Jasper's bedroom door.

" Because I would rather save myself another awkward situation," she hisses back heading towards the stairs.

" No, Ana, I am serious. You get Jasper, I will get Emmett and Rosalie," I say bounding towards her.

" But why?" she asks whining slightly.

" Well, because, because Jasper likes you better," I say pushing her once again towards his door.

" Ugh, fine, but any awkwardness that comes from this I'm blaming on you," she says, her voice filling with bitterness. I roll my eyes at her and start walking down the stairs.

" You should be thanking me. I am saving you from the possibility of walking in on Emmett and Rosalie fu-" I am cut off by Ana's quick and quiet laughter.

" Okay, your right. Thank you, I would really rather not see, that situation. Now go, I will be down with Jasper in a minute," she says, turning back to his door. I stop and watch her for a second as she takes a deep breath.

" You know, Ana. I haven't always been Jasper's number one fan, but maybe, just this once it wont be like all of the other times with him," I say, watching her carefully.

" I don't know, maybe," she says, lifting her hand to knock softly on the door.

I walk into the kitchen and look up when I hear someone moving around. There standing in all of his glory is Emmett. Naked.

" Oh geeze," I say turning around quickly covering my eyes.

" What are you doing up?" Emmett asks his voice strained.

" Actually I need you and Rosalie in the living room, erm, house meeting," I say wishing there was a way for me to un-see what I saw.

" Right now?" he asks, " You know what? Hold that thought." I stand in the silence of the kitchen my face turned away from where Emmett was standing, butt-naked, in the kitchen, at two o' clock in the morning. " Okay you can turn around now." I turn around slowly, unsure if I should look and I sigh in relief when I see a half dressed Emmett grinning at me.

" Sorry about that," I say, hopping up on the counter.

" Sure you are. I kind of figured you always wanted to get a peak at this package," he says cockily and I smack him lovingly upside his head.

" First, that's gross. Second, I didn't know that you frequent the kitchen at two o'clock in the morning naked, and thirdly Rose would kill both you and me," I say, laughing at the pout that forms on his face.

" Fine deny it all you want Jadey-poo, but I know the truth," he says, trying his best to come off debonair.

" Oh well now the secret is out, run away with me Em, no one has to know about our secret love affair," I say, playing along with him. I laugh wildly as a look of pure shock crosses his face.

" You are far too easy Em."

" Oh yeah, ha ha," he says, blushing wildly. For someone who loves to pull pranks and has made sarcasm an art form, he is so gullible. The sound of someone clearing their throat at the door to the kitchen catches my attention. I look over to see a sleep rumpled Rosalie staring at us.

" Hey Rose, I was just telling Em here that we are having a house meeting," I say easily, smiling at her.

" Right now?" Rosalie asks, stifling a yawn. " What could possibly be so important this early?"

" It's about Edward, living room, fifteen minutes, that should give you enough time to become somewhat coherent," I say, sliding off the counter leaving them in the kitchen.

**Ana's POV**

I stand outside of Jasper's door nervously twisting the hem of my shirt around my fingers. 'Damn Jade, why couldn't she have just gotten Jasper?" I think to myself. Okay so I am being a little bit childish, but I just really, really don't want to face him. Not yet at least. I take a deep breath as I hear Jade's footsteps on the stairs and I knock quickly.

" Come in," Jasper's voice muffles through the closed door. I open the door and slide in. his room is dark, except for a lone light throwing shadows around his room. " Ana," he says on a half whisper smiling slightly at me.

" Hey," I say as he stands up grabbing a shirt that was thrown carelessly over the chair.

" I'm so glad you came to talk to me. Look I know that I have a lot of explaining to do," he starts saying and I just roll my eyes holding up my hand to him.

" Whoa, hold on. I didn't come to talk to you about us. I came to tell you that we are having a house meeting," I say, backing up towards the door.

" Wait about what?" he asks walking towards me.

" Its about Edward," I say, my back bumping up against the door. I shrink away from him as he steps closer. He stops his face a breath away from mine.

" I see. Ana, you know that we are going to have to talk, soon," he says, running a hand carefully over my hair.

" I know, just not now. This isn't about us now. This is about Edward, and Jade," I say, reaching for the door knob behind me. I side step opening the door and walking out before he can say anything in return. Call me a coward I don't care, but I am just not ready to face my fate.

**Jade's POV **

I sit on the couch facing the window watching the rain fall steadily outside. I hear footsteps on the stairs and look up to see a frazzled Ana walking down.

" Hey, is he coming?" I ask, and she just simply nods as she sits down next to me. " You okay?"

" Yeah," Ana says quickly and I watch as she shakes her head. " Okay, no I'm not. But this isn't about me."

" Annalisa," I say my voice growing stern and I look up when I see the others entering the room. I look at her deeply letting her know with unspoken words that we will be talking when all of this mess is over Edward. If we can stop it from getting worse before its too late.

" Okay, so what was so important that it couldn't wait?" Rosalie asks, her voice still tired and slightly annoyed.

" Okay, well. First of all. Have any of you spoken to Alice?" I ask, taking the initiative to explain everything.

" No," Emmett says, looking at me questioningly. I let out a breath and look around the room.

" Okay, well by now you all know that Bella showed up. Well I was standing in the kitchen when Alice came over in a pretty pissed off mood. Alice saw something, about the baby," I say, and I watch as everyone but Ana's, eyes widen with silent panic. " Before anyone asks, the baby is fine. The baby, isn't Edward's." I stop talking letting what I just said sink in.

" Wait so Bella lied. About everything?" Rosalie asks, standing up pacing the room furiously.

" Yes. But that isn't the worst part," I say clasping my hands in front of me.

" How could it be worse? She lied to Edward about the baby, what is worse than that?" Jasper asks, his voice icy cold.

" It gets worse, because Edward has already made up his mind about what he is going to do about it," I say, waiting to see if someone will be able to guess it.

" What is he going to do?" Rosalie asks, her eyes widening as I look at her and she finally gets it.

" Oh no. He cant be that stupid."

" Yes, yes he can be," I say, sitting back against the couch.

" Am I the only one who is completely lost here?" Emmett asks, looking at me and Rosalie like we are crazy.

" He's going to marry her," Rosalie says, sitting heavily next to him.

" What?" Jasper asks looking at us like we are pulling some sort of bad joke on him. I look at him nodding my head.

" Yeah. Alice saw it, they are going to get married. Unless we can stop it," I say my tone turning harsh.

" How do you suggest we do that?" Emmett asks, his voice deep and full of emotions.

" I don't know exactly. Ana said something to Alice, about Jacob having to know about what was going on and Alice just told her she was a genius, told us to get you guys together, and left faster than I could collect my thoughts," I say, laughing slightly at the whole situation.

" That's Alice for you," Jasper murmurs and I slide my eyes towards Ana to gauge her reaction. She just stares ahead, studying a particular spot over Emmett's head deeply. We slide into silence. The whole room quiet. No one speaking a single word, not even Emmett with his usual smart ass remarks. Nothing.

The ringing of the phone makes all of us jump and Rosalie scrambles to pick it up.

" Hey, yeah she told us. How do you think we are all taking it? Okay yeah see you then," Rosalie hangs up the phone turning slowly to look at us. " Whatever Alice has planned, it must be good. She said she will be here in half an hour, and to get breakfast going. Apparently we are all going to need the energy."

" Okay then, whose cooking?" Emmett asks his face relaxing from his tense state to amusement easily.

" I will," Ana says her voice sounding small and disconnected. I watch as she walks into the kitchen slowly, and just as I am about to jump up to offer my help, Jasper stands to his feet. " I'll help," Jasper says, walking behind her quickly. I stare around the room looking at Emmett and Rosalie. I haven't quite figured out their relationship. Emmett's easy going, laid back nature differs so dramatically from Rosalie's serious and sneaky sense of humor. Emmett stands up and walks out of the room and into the kitchen leaving me and Rosalie alone. She stares at me for a second, her eyes un-readable.

" How are you doing?" Rosalie finally asks, as she walks over sitting next to me.

" Fine," I say, putting my brave face on. I know its faltering. My emotions when it comes to Edward have been faltering from the moment that I realized I was in love with him, and admitted it out loud. She sighs heavily.

" I know that you and I haven't had a lot of time, to become close Jade. But you need to know that I know better," she says her eyes swimming deeply with emotion. I lay my head against my knees and cup the back of my head.

" I don't know what to do Rose. I have been trying to hold it all together, but from the moment that Alice said that she saw Edward marrying Bella, all I have wanted to do is fall apart," I say, my voice shaky. I blink against hot tears wishing to hell that I just wont cry. She simply scoots closer wrapping an arm tightly around me.

" I know that it seems hard right now. But what Alice has in store, there is no way that the wedding is going to happen," she whispers and I smile as a few tears slide down my cheeks.

" I hope to hell that your right Rose," I say, wiping my eyes fiercely with the back of my hands.

"Breakfast is ready," Emmett says, beaming around the door way at us.

I push my food around on my plate trying to get caught up in Emmett's upbeat conversation. It doesn't work. My spirits lift slightly when I hear the front door slam open and shut.

" Alice is here," Emmett says bounding to the kitchen doorway to scoop Alice up into a bone crushing hug.

" Okay, Em, let me go," Alice squeals lightly as she is set on her feet. " Glad to see you all took me seriously when I said that you would need to fuel up. It's going to be a long day."

" Yeah and since you left us all in suspense, are you going to tell us what is going on in your head?" Ana asks, sitting cross legged in her chair, the t-shirt she is wearing baggy on her, her hair pulled tightly in a pony tail and I smile at just how child like she looks.

" Well you were right last night Ana. Jacob did know that Bella was gone. Seems that when Bella left, she left nothing but a note behind. He also has an idea that the baby isn't Edward's," Alice says, looking around at everyone in kitchen. " So, I bought him a plane ticket." She looks over at the clock. " His flight leaves at six, so I will be picking him up at eleven. I don't have the exact time that this 'wedding' is supposed to be happening but I have a pretty good idea that its going to be early afternoon, probably around one or so. That doesn't give us a lot of time to stop this, but I am sure that if we work together that we can do this."

" Okay, so what exactly is it that you want us to do?" I ask, looking at her from across the table.

" That's easy. Keep Edward away from the house. Don't let him come home, in fact Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie, you guys should handle that. You guys know how to keep your minds blank, I have to go. Everyone meet here at noon," she says, stealing a drink from the closest cup of coffee to her. And just like the night before she sails out of the kitchen and the house like a whirlwind.

" Well, that should be easy enough. Keep Edward out of the house he lives in," Jasper says, walking grumpily up the stairs.

" Yeah, easy," I reiterate, walking towards the stairs praying that this insane plan of Alice's will work.

I don't know how long I have been pacing in my room. The last time I checked the time, Jacob's plane would be landing.

" Jade, stop pacing, you are going to make a hole in the carpet," Ana says from her bed.

" Sorry, it's just. What if this doesn't work Ana?" I ask turning to look at her. In this very moment, that is my worst fear. That we wont be able to stop this wedding in time, and that because I couldn't, I wouldn't let my guard down, Edward would slip through my fingers, and completely out of my reach. My body starts shaking as I lower myself to my bed.

" Jade," Ana says walking over to me wrapping me in a tight hug. " It's going to work. It has too. There has to be a reason that Alice saw what she did. Fate is giving you the chance to change all of this, all you have to do is take the risk and change it." I look at my best friend. The one who in these last few months has gone through more than I could ever imagine. Her emotions have been screwed with and all because she fell in love. In this moment she speaks with wisdom far beyond her years, and with the heart of someone who, although she has felt the pain of heart ache, still truly believes in love.

" I know, I'm just scared," I admit, looking at her.

" What's love, if not a little scary?" she asks, pulling me to her so that my head is cradled on her shoulder. We sit there, both of us hurting in our own ways, watching as the time clicks down. Waiting with every breath we take, until the moment that we are given to change fate, and make it our own.


	28. Chapter 28: Real Life Wedding Crashers

**Author's Note: Hello All! Welcome to ICFY!!! Sadly, I am not Stephanie Meyer, so Twilight and its characters dont belong to me no matter how much I wish that they did! However I am Amber, so Ana and Jade are all MINE!!! HEHE but I dont mind sharing. So with that said, I am sorr that it took me a while to post, but I was enjoying the sunshine, soaking up some vitamin D was the top of my priority list. But I worked hard on this chapter and I hope that YOU all read and enjoy it. SO as always, sit back, relax and Welcome to Chapter 28. As always Read, Enjoy, and review :D**

**Chapter 28: Real Life Wedding Crashers**

I'm a patient person. Most of the time. This being one of those situations, where patience just isn't on my side. Ana and I have been laying in our room, not speaking. Just listening, and waiting. The sound of a car pulling up in the driveway has me bolting up right, my eyes catching Ana's. I rush to the window and look down. What I see catches me completely off guard. Shit. Its ruined. The plan will never work,' I think to myself, immediately trying to change my course of thought. 'Sunshine, California, make-up,' I chant over and over again in my head as I grab a scrap piece of paper from the desk. I scribble hastily across it and thrust it into Ana's surprised hands. She looks at me curiously before she looks down at the paper,' Edward's here, think of anything else but you know what,' her lips forming a small o in surprise as she reads. I scribble another note on the other side of the paper and rush to Jasper's room. I don't stop long enough to knock, I just slam through the door, catching Jasper, naked and off guard. He snaps a towel off of his bed wrapping it quickly around his waist.

" Sorry," I blurt out quickly feeling only slightly embarrassed.

" What the hell? Don't you know how to knock?" Jasper asks, his voice full of annoyance.

" I said I was sorry, here," I say thrusting the paper at him. He snatches the paper from my hand and reads it, understanding washing over his face.

" Okay listen, you and Ana," he starts saying looking up his face turning slightly red. I cast a look over my shoulder and see Ana standing there, her face bright red. ' Well the sneak peak at Jasper, should keep her mind busy,' I think to myself smiling uncontrollably. " Okay uhm, what was I saying? Oh yeah, you and Ana go in your room, blast your music and think of anything and everything but that, okay? I will take care of this," he says hastily throwing on a shirt. I simply nod my head and walk out of his room, I make it half way into my room when I notice that Ana isn't behind me. I turn around, rolling my eyes when I realize that she is frozen in Jasper's doorway. I grab her arm pulling her behind me, slamming our bedroom door firmly behind me. I start laughing when I turn on the stereo turning it up as loud is it will go. I flop onto my bed and listen to the music saying the lyrics in my head over and over again so that is the only thing on my mind. I look over and see Ana sitting on her bed with her guitar in her hands and she strums the strings in rhythm with the song. I close my eyes singing the songs in my head, waiting, and trying my hardest not to think about just how close we are coming to losing any and all chances of not stopping this wedding.

**Jasper's POV**

I stand in the heat of the shower, hot water running over my head and I think. Seems to me I have been doing that a lot lately, and its mostly about Ana. Okay, its all about Ana. She has somehow managed to sneak in and plant herself in the middle of my every thought, whether I am awake or asleep. I snap off the water. I have to talk to her somehow, get her to listen, make her see just how sorry I am. Make her mine. I step into my room, running a towel lazily over my head. Once everything is cleared up with Edward and Bella, I will make everything right with her again. If I'm not too late. I drop the towel wrapped around my waist just as someone bursts through my door.

I reach for my bed scrambling to grab my discarded towel shooting an annoyed glance at Jade.

" Sorry," Jade blurts outs, feeling a tiny bit embarrassed. Well obviously nudity doesn't worry this girl.

" What the hell, don't you know how to knock?" I ask, annoyed that she caught me so off guard. She looks at me quickly rolling her eyes slightly.

" I said I was sorry, here," she says thrusting a piece of paper at me. I snap it from her hands reading it, immediately understanding why she didn't knock.

" Okay listen, you and Ana," start saying, a sudden wave of embarrassment flooding over me, hitting me like a brick wall. I look up and over Jade's shoulder, catching Ana staring in shock, her beautiful face painted deep red. 'Not exactly what I had in mind for the first time that she see's me naked,' I think to myself losing all focus on what I was saying. " Okay uhm, what was I saying? Oh yeah, you and Ana go in your room, blast your music and think of anything and everything but that, okay? I will take care of this," I say, sliding on a shirt. I turn around in search of a pair of jeans. I rush into the bathroom deciding to just grab the pair that is laying on the floor. 'Think Jasper, think," I say to myself rushing down the stairs the noise of blasting music flowing from Ana and Jade's room. I pull grab my car keys from the table and open the front door in a hurry.

" Oh hey Jazz, where is everyone?" Edward asks, looking at me questioningly.

" Oh out, you know, errands, things of that sort," I say leaning as nonchalantly against my car door as I can.

" Hmm, I see. I kind of need to talk to everyone," he says, his eyes telling me that he is a million miles away and probably not reading into anyone's thoughts but his own.

" Sorry bro, you caught us all at the wrong moment, besides you cant go into the house right now," I say, smiling at him lazily, easily exuding calm.

" Why is that?" he asks, looking at me closely. I can see that I have his attention now. He is only looking into my head now, trying to read what I am thinking. ' Wonder if I will ever work things out with Ana,' I think to myself easily, not having to reach too far for something to think about.

" Fumigating," I say, unlocking the doors to my car.

" Oh, okay well, I guess I will see everyone later," he says, and I can feel the apprehension and stress flowing off of him. I send out as many positive vibes and calm as I can as I watch him walk towards his car. I open my door getting in when he yells to catch my attention.

" Just a question, if the house is being fumigated, why is Ana and Jade's stereo on?" he asks looking at me, as he points to their bedroom window.

" Don't know. They probably forgot to turn it off," I say, and he just smiles walking back to his car. I wait for him to pull out before backing my own car out, going the opposite direction of him. 'I will drive for ten minutes, then go back,' I think to myself. I pick up my cell phone texting Ana. 'He left, be back soon, wanted to make him think I was gone, if he caught on and comes back call me, -J.' I pull to the side of the road resting my head against the steering wheel. That was close, too damn close.

**Jade's POV**

It seems that Jasper's diversion worked, seeing as how Edward didn't turn around and come right back here. Secretly part of me was wishing that he would, just so I could out all of this now, instead of having to wait so damn long. Then again, that would take all of the fun out of the secrecy and the plans. I move the curtain back from the window and see Alice's car pulling in and I smile knowing that this was it. It all starts now. No turning back. I look over at Ana who is sleeping peacefully on her bed. I shake her shoulder and she opens her eyes slowly.

" Huh?" Ana says, her eyes sliding shut again.

" Alice is here," I say and she wakes up fully, sitting up, running her hand nervously through her hair, " Lets go."

I walk slowly down the stairs Ana dragging her feet behind me. The front door swings open and Alice breezes in, Jacob following behind her.

" Hey guys, heard you had a close call," Alice says, humor lighting up her face.

" Yeah," I say, reaching the bottom of the stairs hugging Alice tightly.

" Well, good thing Jasper can think on his toes. Sorry, Jade, Ana, this is Jacob," she says, stepping out of the way. I assess him quickly. He's cute. His size catches me off guard, as he towers over me. His dark hair pulled back into a pony tail, his skin dark with underlying tones of red, his heritage showing through his strong bones.

" Hello," Jacob says, fatigue and stress apparent in his voice.

" Hi," Ana and I say in unison. I don't think either of us are sure how to react around him. I cast a look at Ana, and realize that she is not only nervous, but slightly scared. It must be his size. This boy was outrageously tall. Though she would never admit it, I think she has a bit of a complex when it comes to how short she is. We stand in an awkward silence before Alice clears her throat breaking the silence, and the tension.

" Why don't we all sit down," she says, her smile beaming brightly. I follow her and Jacob into the living room and sit down, Ana standing in the doorway nervously playing with her fingers.

" So, I pretty much caught Jacob up with everything," Alice says, bouncing in her seat.

" Well that's good," I say, feeling like that particular weight was lifted from my shoulders. How awkward would that have been. Hi Jacob, how are you? I know you don't know me, but I just want you to know that your girlfriend is tricking the man that I am in love with into marrying her by claiming that the child that she is carrying is his, when it really isn't. Not exactly a conversation I was looking forward to having. Alice picks up the conversation quickly, keeping the room full of our voices, and after a while I drift out of the conversation staring out of the window. I hear the door open and feel somewhat nervous thinking that Edward is going to come strolling through the front door, catching us in our secret meeting. Thank God it's Emmett and Rosalie.

" Hey Jacob, its been a long time," Emmett says, clapping his hand in Jacob's smiling broadly. Rosalie hugs him tightly whispering something in his ear, making him smile.

" Okay well, it look like we are all here, " Rosalie says, looking around. " Wait, where is my brother?"

" Probably still up in his room, trying to recover from Ana seeing him naked," I blurt out, cringing at what I just said.

" Oh my God no way, her virgin eyes have been tainted," Emmett says between loud spouts of laughter.

" Shut up," Ana hisses out, going red from head to toe.

" Sorry," I mouth to her and she happily flips me the bird. " Aww, I love you too Annalisa."

" Mhm, sure you do," she says, smiling at me brightly. Jasper comes walking down the stairs almost as if he knew that everyone was talking about him and Ana's embarrassing moment.

" Hey everyone, so have we decided how we are going to tackle this problem?" Jasper asks, sitting on the arm of the couch Ana is sitting on. With that the room erupts with voices everyone talking over each other.

" I'm just saying, I don't understand why I have to wear a dress," I say, my voice annoyed.

" Jade, stop. It's like Alice said you cant go to a wedding in jeans," Ana says, smiling as she finished her make up.

" Yeah, but there isn't going to be a wedding. We have to get there in time to stop it," I say, scooting her out of the way of the mirror.

" Well you know what I mean," she says, running a reassuring hand down my back. I finish my make up hastily, leaving the room quickly walking down the stirs where everyone is waiting. Everyone looks good, like they are all straight out of a bridal magazine. Good thing Jacob and Emmett are so close in size.

" Okay, we better leave know. Its getting close to the time," Alice says grabbing her purse. We all walk outside and I press a hand nervously to my stomach as I watch everyone piling into their own cars. Jacob with Alice. Rose and Emmett in his jeep. Me, Jasper, and Ana in the Explorer. I slide into the backseat, praying that time is on our side.

I didn't realize how long we were in the car, time just seemed to fly by. I stare out of the car window looking at the court house looming down at me. My heart slams into my chest and I seriously feel like I can throw up at any moment.

" There they are," Ana says, pointing out of the window. I follow where she is pointing and my heart slams into my throat. There's Edward, his hair its normal mess, dressed in simple black slacks and a white button down shirt. Bella stands close to him, her hand fussing with his collar. Her brown hair pinned up, dressed in a cream colored dress. " You going to be okay?" I turn my attention to Ana and nod. I climb out of the car and wipe my hands on my dress nervously. Somehow we all came to the decision that Alice, Jacob, Jasper and I would be the only ones to actually talk to them, while Rose, Em, and Ana laid in wait in the cars, watching on for any signs of trouble. Jasper wraps a comforting arm around my shoulder leaning his head down to whisper in my ear.

" Don't worry, its going to be okay," Jasper says, and calm falls over me as I start walking toward Edward and his bride-to-be.

Bella notices us first, knowledge sparking in her eyes as she looks down the line of us. Her eyes staying on Jacob for a long time. Edward follows her gaze and his smile falters. We stop in front of them, and a perilous silence falls.

" What are you guys doing here?" Edward asks, his voice calm and controlled.

" Ask Bella, she knows what we are doing here," I say, looking at her, not taking my eyes off her face. Annoyance and anger flicker in her eyes.

" I have no idea what you are talking about," Bella says, crossing her hands over her protruding belly.

" Oh, but you do," Alice hisses out.

" You will not talk to her that way Alice," Edward says immediately coming to Bella's aid.

" You wont boss me around Edward," she says back and I fight the urge to smile over this sibling squabble.

" Bella, what you are doing isn't right," Jacob speaks up, his voice filled with emotion.

" You know nothing," Bella says, her façade of calm and control wavering and breaking.

" You know that I know. Just like you know that everyone who stands here, except for Edward, knows," he says, and he grimaces at the first few tears that slip down her paling cheeks.

" Bella what is he talking about?" Edward asks, searching her face for some kind of answer.

" Edward, don't you see, they are just trying to break us apart," she whispers out, tears falling rapidly.

" Look, I cant dance around this anymore. Alice saw the baby, Edward. Alice also saw that the baby isn't yours," I blurt out, and everyone grows silent. Edward stares at me, pain warring in his eyes.

" Why are you doing this Jade," Edward asks, the anger in his voice slamming into me like a hot fist.

" I'm doing this because you aren't the father. She is tricking you. We all love you too damn much to watch you make this mistake, to be tricked into a marriage with someone who would lie to about you fathering a child isn't something we will let happen," I say, my own anger meeting his lick for lick.

" Shut up. Your just mad that Edward doesn't love you like he loves me," Bella screams at me and I turn to her.

" You shut up. How dare you come here after all this time and try to trick Edward back into a relationship, YOU left, by using an innocent life. Do you not realize what you are doing? How hurt he would be the day that child is born and he realizes that she isn't his? Are you truly that selfish of a person? Does it really bother you that much that Edward was starting to find happiness with someone else?" I ask, my voice raising with anger and pain. She stares at me in angry silence.

" Is this true Bella?" Edward asks, turning his attention to her.

" Edward, its more complicated than that, I never meant," she starts saying, tumbling over her words. She reaches her hand out to touch him and he just pulls away from her.

" I cant believe this. I cant believe you," he says, backing away from her, before turning and walking away.

" You did this, this is your fault, you stupid bitch," Bella spits at me. I feel pity for her, mostly because she doesn't realize that it was her selfishness that caused all of this, but mostly because she cant open her eyes and realize that Jacob stood and heard everything that was being said, and she very well might be flying back to Arizona, a single mother.

" I think you and I have some talking to do," Jacob says, walking towards her. He takes her arm in his leading her away from the group and I sigh, somewhat relieved.

" You guys go ahead, I have to find Edward," I say, walking away from everyone, wrapping my arms around me.

I walk halfway down the block when I find Edward. Sitting alone on a park bench his head in his hands. I take a deep breath, standing in front of him.

" Edward," I say, and he looks up, his eyes rimmed with red.

" How long has everyone known?" Edward asks, his voice shaky.

" A few days," I say, sighing as I slide my finger through my hair.

" And this is how you guys decided to tell me? By letting me come so close to marrying her? What, was this some sort of sick entertainment for everyone?" he spits out, anger winning momentarily over the pain in his voice.

" Oh shut up will you? Come on Edward, honestly. If Alice or Jasper, or I would have come to you a few days ago and told you all of this would you have believed any of us? Alice saw what she saw. She also saw that as soon as you decided to marry her your mind was set, unchangeable," I say, my voice raising at him.

" That's not the point," he says, sitting back against the bench closing his eyes. " The point is someone should have told me."

" Okay your right," I say, " but you also have to understand why we did it this way. Don't you realize how much we all love you?" He looks up at me slowly a small smile flirting with his lips.

" Are you included in that 'we'" he asks, and I smile slightly.

" You know that I am," I say, looking at him deeply. " Edward, you have to know. I love you. I love you enough to say to you right now, that if you can honestly look me in the face and tell me that you are in love with her despite what you know, I will let you go. I will walk away. I will stand and watch you marry her if you are still in love with her. I am usually a selfish person when I find something that I want, but I love you, and I am willing to let that all go if you could honestly look at me and tell me that its her you want," I say, my voice shaking, tears threatening to fall. I watch as he gets to his feet and walks towards me. He brushes a hand along my cheek and smiles.

" You never stop amazing me Jade," he says, leaning in pressing his lips against mine. He deepens the kiss as tears start falling down my face. He pulls away leaning his forehead against mine.

" Bella will always be a part of me, but she is a part of my past. You, your what I want for my future," he says, and I fell apart, tears of joy falling down my face as he wraps his arms tightly around me. Mission accomplished, and a damn fine job was done if I do say so myself.


	29. Chapter 29: Now That It's All Said

**Author's Note: Hey everyone, Amber here. Therefore I am not Stephanie Meyer, so I dont own Twilight or its characters. I do however own Ana and Jade and ICFY! Sorry it took me so long to update it has been a very busy week, so hopefully you all will forgive me and enjoy this chapter! I wont be posting more probably until Monday because I am going out of twon for the weekend. Okay enough chatter, here is the newest installment of ICFY :D Read, Review, and ENJOY :D**

**Chapter 29: Now That It's All Said And Done**

A peaceful week has passed since the almost wedding. A whole seven days of nothing dramatic. Jade and Edward have been inseparable, spending almost every night together. As happy as I am for my best friend, I cant lie and say that I'm not jealous. Because I am. Jealous, and a little lonely. I tap my pen against my palm as I look out of my office window, thinking deeply. Someone clearing their throat politely catches me off guard and I look up to see Veronica standing in the doorway smiling at me.

" You look like you're a million miles away," Veronica says, gracefully gliding into my office sitting in front of me. I smile sheepishly putting my pen down on the desk.

" Might as well have been," I say, smiling back.

" I came in here to offer you another opportunity, to find another amazing band," she says, crossing her slim legs looking at me seriously.

" Are you serious?" I ask, enthusiasm coursing through my veins. She simply nods. It had been by sheer luck that I found the other band, and it was with nervousness that I had come to Veronica with them in the first place. It didn't surprise me any when I played their newly recorded single for her, and she was impressed. I knew they had the potential to be amazing the moment I heard them, and I was proud that I was right. I never thought that, that one chance meeting would open the door to me being sent to find bands on my own, so soon.

" Quite serious. You have an inane ability Ana, to find something good that has the potential to be great," she says looking at me, " Now that I am going to be sending you to more and more shows, you have to understand. Your time is going to be stretched even thinner." I nod along. So I may not have much free time, but this is what I want. It's not like I have anything else to spend my time on.

" I understand. Thank you Veronica, seriously, you have no idea how good it makes me feel to know you have this much faith in me," I say, standing up to follow her to the door. She turns to look at me and a small smile forms on her face.

" You don't have to thank me Ana, you did this on your own I assure you," she says, wrapping me in a warm hug. " Now get out of here. It's the Friday before Thanksgiving, go have fun, do something crazy, when we are back from Thanksgiving break you will get started."

" Okay," I say, watching her as she walks down the hall. I spin around and let out a small shout of happiness. I dance to my desk, picking up my phone dialing Jade's number.

" Hello best friend of mine," I sing into the phone beaming as I start picking my stuff up from my desk.

" Well your in an awfully cheery mood," Jade says easily.

" Well that's because I just got awesome news. Veronica is wanting me to look for bands for now on. So I'm thinking that we should celebrate tonight," I say, shutting off the light to the room, walking down the hall.

" That's awesome Ana, congratulations," she says her voice lightening up. " Your right we so have to celebrate tonight."

" Cool. So I am heading home now, I will see you in a bit," I say clicking my phone off.

I sit on my bedroom floor concentrating on applying my eyeliner.

" Where are we going again?" Jade asks, popping her head out of the closet.

" Some place called Tiki Joe's Wet Bar," I say, looking in the mirror deciding that I am happy with my appearance. I get to my feet, straightening out my skirt and shirt.

" Hmm. Sounds, promising," she says, disappearing back into the closet, her voice slightly sarcastic.

" Hey, I think it sounds like fun," I say, pulling my hair over my shoulder.

" Yeah your right, besides this is your night to celebrate, sorry. I will stop being sarcastic and we will go and have fun," she says, walking out of the closet. I smile at her as she slings an arm carelessly over my shoulder.

" See that's what I like to hear," I say, walking from the room smiling happily as we go.

I stand shivering in the long line of people, my enthusiasm for the night slowly wearing off.

" Seriously you guys, lets just go somewhere else," I whine, shaking as I wrap my arms around myself.

" No," five voices call back to me in unison.

" Hey, this is my night of celebration and I get to decide where we go, and I say we should go somewhere else," I say, stamping my foot.

Rosalie looks over her shoulder at me smiling brightly.

" I thought you wanted to come here," Rosalie says, looking at me.

" I did, but its cold and the line is long, and who knows if we are going to make it in," I say, my lips quivering.

" Oh we're going to get in, even if it's the last thing that I do" she says, turning walking away from the group.

" Hey, where's Rose going?" Jade asks, walking back to stand next to me.

" I don't know, she said we were going to make it in if it's the last thing she does," I say, linking my arm through Jade's. We stand watching Rosalie talk to the people at the door, smiling and pointing back to our group. Before too long she comes walking back to us all but bouncing along the way.

" We're in," she says, grabbing Emmett's hand. Jade and I exchange a shocked look.

" How in the world does she do that?" I ask, and Jade just laughs and smiles.

" I have no idea," she says, walking to the front of the line with me in tow.

" She seriously has to teach me how she does that," I say, walking into the club smiling happily with every step I take.

Two hours and three drinks later I smile as I watch Jade and Edward, standing by the bar I look on as my best friend and the man that she is in love with dance as if they are the only two people in the room, and I smile. I cant help it, and I am almost certain that the alcohol has something to do with the giddiness that I am feeling.

" Hey Ana-banana," Emmett's drunken voice slurs one of my many nicknames and I smile turning to look at him. His face is flushed and his eyes are half closed as he smiles.

" Hey Emmy," I say, laughing as the name slips out of my mouth.

" Emmy?" he asks, his voice trying to sound disgruntled. " That's a girl name."

" No its an Ana-banana name for one of her bestest friends in the world," I say, throwing my arms around him. His whole body shakes with laughter and I laugh along too.

" Your plowed aren't you half-pint?" he asks, looking down at me.

" Maybe, just a little," I say on a laugh as I take his cup from his hand.

" What are you drinking?" I ask looking at the pretty blue drink swirling in the glass.

" Uhm, I don't remember," he says, smiling at me. I impulsively take a drink and nearly choke at the strength of the alcohol. I blow out a breath and smile at Emmett.

" This is definitely your kind of drink," I say pushing the cup back into Emmett's hands. I turn around to someone tapping on my shoulders and I beam up at Jasper.

" Hi stranger," I say, hugging him tightly.

" Hi," he says, and I look at him. Realizing that he isn't drunk at all. Who was on designated driving duty tonight. Jasper and someone else, but I cant remember who.

" You going to be ready to go soon?" Jasper asks, wrapping an arm around my waist to stop me from swaying.

" Oh sure, is everyone leaving?" I ask, looking at him.

" Not yet, but Edward and Jade rode together, same thing with Em and Rose, so they are set to go whenever they want, he says leaning down to talk into my ear. A part of me feels like I should ask him why he is in such a hurry to leave, but another part of me decides not to ask.

" Well lets go. I just have to say good bye to Jade," I say, walking as carefully as I can to where Jade and Edward are still dancing. I tap on Jade's shoulder until she turns to look at me.

" Hey. Jasper and I are leaving," I say hugging her tightly.

" Okay see you soon," Jade says hugging me back.

" Well I will probably be asleep by the time you get in, so I will see you in the morning," I say pulling away beaming at her.

" Kay," she says, turning back to Edward. I smile as I walk back to Jasper.

" All right lets go," I say, letting Jasper take my hand so that he can lead me through the club safely. I take a deep breath of the cold night air and smile as I climb into Jasper's car.

" Did you have fun?" Jasper asks a half an hour later as we sit in the living room. My legs lay over his lap as I sip at the cup of coffee in my hands. As much fun as being drunk is, I never like the after math. So I try and head off the potential hangover ahead of time.

" Yeah I did. It's always nice to get out and have fun, even more so when there is no drama," I say, setting the cup down on the table.

" I couldn't agree more," he says, smiling at me. " I didn't get the chance to tell you congratulations. I have never known anyone in my Mom's company to move up so quickly," he says, his eyes light with happiness.

" Thanks. I'm nervous that I wont do a good job, but I am happy that I get the chance to try," I say, laying my head against the couch. I close my eyes and smile as my head swims only slightly. With enough prayer and coffee hopefully I wont end up spending my morning praying to the porcelain god.

" What are you thinking about right now?" Jasper asks, and I open my eyes to look him in his eyes.

" Nothing in particular," I say, smiling easily. " What about you?" I ask.

" Honestly? I'm thinking about how we haven't had the chance to talk about things," he says nervously, and I can tell by the dark look in his eyes that he is trying to gauge how I am going to react to what he said. I sigh before taking a deep breath.

" Yeah, well lets talk about it then," I say, sitting up pulling my knees to my chest.

" Look Ana. I know that what I did was wrong. I should have never used what I could do against you. I know better than that. It's just sometimes, Alice, she knows exactly how to get under my skin. You were right at first when you said that I wasn't over her, but only partially right. I am well over Alice, but I wasn't over what she did," he says, running his hand through his hair. " And I brought you into the middle of it unfairly, and there are not enough words for me to use to apologize to you for that. All that I can tell you is that if I could I would take it all back."

" I know that your sorry Jasper, I do. It's just, hard," I say, hesitating with my words trying to decide what to say. I take a deep breath lifting my face to look at him. " It's hard because I am in love with you Jasper, and I cant help that. There is no worse feeling in the world than to love someone who wont love you back," I say, my eyes clouding with tears.

" Ana," he says, leaning forward catching my face between his hands. He stares at me for a long time before he does something unexpected. He crashes his lips to mine and I tense up before sliding into the kiss. Something always stirs in me when he kisses me like this. Something unexplainable, something beautiful. Its like whatever pain that I feel from dealing with the knowledge that Jasper will never want to be with me, melts away and for this one moment he opens up and takes me, accepts me. For the few moments that we are this close, I feel like I am good enough for him. I continue the kiss pushing him backwards so that I am straddling his lap, my hands buried in his hair. I pull away looking down at him and he knows what I am wanting. I watch as his eyes light up, and darken all at the same time, as if he is fighting an internal battle.

" Ana," he whispers my name, his voice strained and I know he is fighting for control.

" Jasper, please, just this once show me that I am not the only one who feels this way, please just love me, even if its only for one night," I whisper back, my voice pleading with him and his heart as I lower my head against his forehead. Wordlessly he gets up carrying me up the stairs and into his room, closing the door softly behind us. I know even before he lays me on his bed that I wont leave this room the same person that I am now, and I look up at Jasper my fingers shaking slightly as he slips his shirt over his head, but for him its worth whatever bad may come of this.

I roll over groaning as I slide my eyes open to look at the clock. It tells me that its twelve thirty in the afternoon and my eyes widen as I sit up quickly. I look around Jasper's room clutching the sheet to my body. There is no sign of Jasper and I sigh, thankful that there wasn't going to be any awkward morning after, forced conversation. I reach down for my clothes and get dressed quickly before heading for the door. I open it slowly checking the hall way for any sign of life. No one is around as I tip toe across the hall to my bedroom. I slide open the door and slip in shutting the door softly behind me.

" Well, well, good morning sleeping beauty," Jade's voice calls out, and I spin around staring at her amused face. I blush deeply afraid that there is going to be a huge neon light hanging over my head, that is going to switch on at any moment proclaiming that I had given myself to Jasper last night.

" Morning," I say looking away from her. I walk as nonchalantly as I can to my bed before Jade grabs my arm turning me to look at her. She searches my face slowly a knowing and smug smile forming on her face.

" You had sex last night," Jade proclaims shoving me lightly towards my bed.

" Shh," I say, looking around nervous that someone walking upstairs might hear her.

" Chill, we're the only one's here," she says flopping down on my bed. " With that said, I want all the details."

" I don't know, what is there to tell?" I ask, looking at her seriously.

" Come on Ana, seriously? You just lost your virginity and your going to tell me there is nothing to tell," she says, looking annoyed. " Are you okay?"

" I'm fine," I answer easily, because in truth I am. It wasn't as nightmarish a first time as some of the stories I heard when I was in high school.

" Okay, so, what was it like?" she ask nudging me.

" I don't know, it was, beautiful," I say smiling like an idiot. " It was just so, natural. I was nervous as hell and then I was calm, and I don't know how much Jasper had to do with the calming effect, but I wasn't as scared as I thought I would be," I say, looking at her. She smiles slowly and laughs slightly.

" Tell me just one thing? Did he initiate it? You were pretty drunk last night," she says her voice turning serious.

" No. Well he kissed me, but I asked him to, well you know," I answer, embarrassed slightly. " And I wasn't as drunk when it happened as I was when I left."

" Okay, well, its about damn time. I honestly thought that you would never give up your v-card," she says, laughing loudly. I pick up my pillow and smack her in the face laughing loudly along with her.

" Hey mom," I say into the phone smiling at the excitement in her voice.

" Hello my girl," my mom says, her voice bubbly.

" How are you doing?" I ask, sitting on the bottom stair smiling as she begins rambling about all of the activities she has been involved in to keep busy.

" So are you excited?" she asks after a while of rambling and I blink my eyes in surprise wondering what she was referring to.

" Excited for what?" I ask, laying back to stare at the ceiling.

" Thanksgiving silly girl. Please tell me that you are planning on coming home for Thanksgiving," she says, her voice growing anxious.

" Oh yeah, of course," I say, smiling as I reassure her. Twenty minutes later I snap my phone closed walking into the kitchen where everyone is sitting around talking.

" Was that Momma B?" Jade asks, looking over at me. I smile and nod, sliding onto the counter.

" Yep, she was double checking with me, making sure I was still coming home for thanksgiving," I say, smiling.

" Oh," Jade says, " About that. I wont be going back to California for the holiday." I stare at her blankly while that sinks in.

" Why?" I ask, looking at her, wondering what she was talking about.

" Well the thing is, Edward asked if I would come spend the holiday with him and his family and I said yes. Please don't hate me," Jade says standing up walking over to me. I shake my head smiling.

" Of course I don't hate you. Have fun with the Cullen's, wish that I could be there," I say hugging her tightly.

" Yeah, so do we," Emmett says sulkily from his seat.

" Aww, Em, its only going to be a few days, and you will be eating the whole time you wont even notice that I am gone," I say, sliding from the counter hugging him tightly. I leave the kitchen and everyone to their conversation and walk slowly up the stairs.

" Ana," Jaspers voice comes from behind me.

" Hey," I say, turning to look at him.

" Do you really have to go to California for the holiday?" he asks, his voice strained. I smile slightly at the idea of him missing me.

" Yeah, I do. I'm the only family my mom has," I say, turning to finish the walk, " Besides, everyone will be so busy having fun it will be like I never even left."

" I wont be having fun, and I will miss you," he says, and I turn again to see him standing right behind me.

" Will you?" I ask, smiling flirtatiously at him.

" You know that I will," he says, leaning down kissing me slightly.

" Good," I say, sliding open my bedroom door and closing it in his face. I smile smugly as I lay on my bed. I'm happy. It seems that things with Jasper seem to be looking up, but I'm also hurting. As much as I miss home, I am going to miss Washington, Jade, and my new family so much more, and I am only going to be gone for three days. I slide my eyes shut, trying to shake the onset of loneliness.


	30. Chapter 30: Only If You Mean It

**Author's Note: So Still Not Stephanie Meyer, so I still dont own Twilight or the characters. I do own Ana and Jade though and that rocks my socks. Anyways, here is Chapter 30, hope you all enjoy. And thank you all for the wonderful comments seriously made me soo happy :D Anyways, Read, Review, and Enjoy :D**

**Chapter 30: Only If You Mean It**

" Ana, do you have to go all the way to California for Thanksgiving?" Emmett asks, his voice taking on the tone of a whining twelve year old girl.

" Yes Em, I do. My mom needs someone to spend the holiday with," I say, sighing heavily as I continue folding clothes into my suitcase.

" Well why can't she just come here?" he asks, pulling out the shirt I just put in throwing it over his shoulder. I glare at him as I get up and lean over him picking up the clothes he decided to unpack for me.

" Well one, because I already bought my ticket, and two my mom is absolutely terrified of planes," I say re-folding the clothes.

" This isn't fair," he says leaning back against my bed crossing his arms across his chest.

" Emmett, it isn't like I am going to be gone forever," I say, zipping up my suitcase.

" That isn't the point, what fun is Thanksgiving going to be without you there?" he asks solemnly.

" It will be tons of fun. You will have all of your family there, Alice, Jasper, and of course Jade, she is most fun of them all," I say smiling at him. " Now seriously, come on Emmett. I have to finish getting ready or I'm going to miss my flight."

" That was kind of the point," Jade says from the doorway of our room. I look over and see her smiling at me.

" Oh so this was some sort of plan that you two were in on to keep me here, huh? Well I cant be mad at you, I am pretty fabulous. I'm going to miss you guys," I say, smiling even as I feel the tears burning in my eyes.

" Well it was worth a shot," Jade says, as Emmett picks up my suitcase and walks down the stairs leaving Jade and me alone.

" So," Jade says, and I just look at her trying not to cry.

" Hey, it isn't like I'm going to be gone forever, besides you will have Edward to keep you company," I say, hugging her tightly.

" I know. Are you sure I cant drop you off at the airport? Why does Jasper get too?" she asks, her voice kind of bitter.

" Jasper gets too because if you or anyone else were to take me I would break down and start crying like a baby and miss my flight," I say, pulling my sweater over my head.

" Fine. Be that way, come here girl," she says grabbing me into a tight hug. " Give Momma B a big hug from me, and hurry back okay?"

" Of course I will. I love you J. Larson," I whisper, pulling away from her tight hug.

" I love you A. Benson," she says, wiping her eyes quickly. We walk down the stairs where everyone is waiting to hug me goodbye. I start with Edward hugging him tightly.

" Take care of her while I'm gone, okay?" I whisper in his ear and he squeezes me tightly in response. I hug Rosalie, and Emmett, trying not to cry when Emmett begs me one last time to stay.

" Okay Em, let the girl go, she has a plane to catch," Jasper says, pulling me from Emmett vice like hold.

" Okay fine, but be safe and have fun, but not too much fun without me," Emmett says, smiling as much as he can.

" Don't worry I wont," I say, smiling at my group of friends through tear clouded eyes. " Bye guys." I walk from the house into the cold November air wishing that I didn't have to leave.

" You okay?" Jasper asks, fifteen minutes into the car ride. I look over at him gloomily trying my best to muster up a smile.

" Not really. I don't want to leave," I whisper, turning my face back to the window. I feel his warm hand encircle mine as he comforts me in silence, the only way that he can. The car ride is quicker than I expect and my heart breaks slowly as Jasper parks the car. As much as I hate leaving my best friends behind, leaving Jasper behind when things are so uncertain between us, is killing me. I silently check in my baggage and get in line for the first security check. Jasper standing on the other side of the rope, his hand tight on mine. I groan inwardly when I am next in line and I realize that this is when I have to say good bye.

" Well, looks like this is it," I say, turning to look at Jasper. He smiles lightly as he brushes the hair from my forehead.

" Guess it is," he says, leaning down to kiss me lightly.

" Have fun okay, and keep an eye out for Jade. Make sure she doesn't get into too much trouble while I'm gone," I say, tears thickening my throat.

" I will. Have fun, and stay safe," he says wrapping me in a hug.

" I'll try," I say, holding onto him. I don't want to let go, I want to just jump out of this line and go back.

" You have to go now Ana," he says, letting go of me.

" I know, I'll see you in a few days," I say, walking to the front of the line. I shoot a glance over my shoulder to see Jasper standing off to the side staring after me. I walk through security and start making my way to my gate number when someone yelling after me catches my attention. I look back and see Jasper standing on the other side of the glass. I walk towards him and smile.

" Ana, I love you," he says, and I feel everything else fall away. I have waited so long to hear him say it, that it seems almost unreal that I am actually hearing it. I stare dumbly at him as he smiles and walks away. I turn back around walking in a haze as I realize that things have gotten so much more complicated than I imagined they could be.

**Jade's POV**

" You seem sad," Edward says as we drive through the mountains to his hometown.

" I am sad," I say looking at him. " Ana should be here."

" Jade, you could have gone with her," he says, looking at me sympathetically.

" I know. It sucks to have to decide between the man you love and your best friend," I say, pulling my feet up to rest against the dash board. " Besides, Ana will have plenty of fun cooking with her Mom, and shopping the day after."

" That's my girl, looking at the bright side of things," he says, pressing his lips to my hand.

" Yeah that's me, little miss sunshine," I say sarcastically. Things have been weird between Edward and me. Ever since Bella left with Jacob, again, its almost like we are inseparable. That isn't the weird part, the weird part is that we haven't talked about what exactly we are. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Just dating? Friends with benefits?

" You know you could always ask me if your that curious about it," he says, smiling slyly at me. Damn it, I always seem to forget that he can hear what I am thinking.

" Well, come on Edward. Seriously, Bella has been gone for almost two weeks now, you and I spend every moment that we can together, and we still haven't talked about what exactly it is that is going on," I say, growing somewhat annoyed.

" What do you want us to be?" he asks, pulling the car into the driveway of his childhood home.

" What do you think?" I ask, turning in my seat to look at him. I don't say anything more, I just stare at him. Everything that I want playing in my head free for him to hear.

" Is that so?" he asks, smiling as he leans in to kiss me.

" Yeah," I say against his lips.

" Then that's what we are," he says, taking the kiss as deep as it can go.

**Jasper's POV**

" So wait, let me get this right. You told Ana you love her as she is getting ready to get on a plane and fly to California for three days?" Emmett asks me, staring at me in disbelief.

" Yes," I say, banging my head against his bedroom wall.

" And your still here, why?" he asks, flopping onto his bed.

" I don't know. I don't even know why I said it," I say, sliding against the wall.

" Did you mean it? Or are you still just playing with her? Because let me tell you something Jasper, I have known you for most of my life, but Ana is like a sister, and if this is all just a game to you, still, I wont hesitate to kick your ass this time," he says, sitting up to look at me. I can feel anger and apprehension flowing off of him.

" Of course I meant it. I love her Emmett, I do. I just don't know why I said it when I did, not exactly what I had in mind for the first time that I told her how I felt. I thought about telling her the other night when we," I begin saying and I trail off as a light comes into his eyes.

" When you guys what?" he asks, smiling at me.

" Never mind, don't worry about it," I say, running my fingers through my hair.

" Holy shit, you totally took Ana's v-card didn't you?" he asks, standing up laughing.

" Shut up Em," I say, anger starting to build inside me. I was still beating myself up for that. If I would have known, I would have never let it go that far, not like that.

" Your serious about her, aren't you?" he finally asks, looking at me seriously.

" Yes, I am. It scares the hell out of me, I haven't felt this way since Alice," I say, getting to my feet to look at him. " What am I going to do?"

" Let me tell you what your going to do," he says, pulling open his top dresser drawer. He pulls out a white envelope. " Your going to take this money, get into your car, buy a ticket to California, and be with Ana."

" Em, I cant just leave everyone here," I say, lifting a hesitant hand to the envelope he is offering me.

" Yes you can, I will explain everything. Now go, before its too late," he says, shoving the envelope in my hand and pushing me out the door.

" Thanks Em, seriously, I owe you one," I say, running down the stairs.

" I'll remember that," his laughing voice calls behind me, and I cant help but to get caught up in the laughter. Emmett was right, I wouldn't feel right being here, not without Ana, and not without being able to tell her, exactly what I want, and how I feel. I grab my bag from the entryway and race out the door right by a stunned Jade and Edward.

" Jasper where you going?" Edward calls out and I just ignore him as I slam into my car and drive away. No time to stop and talk, I have a plane to catch, if it isn't too late.

**Jade's POV**

I sit in the Cullen's kitchen staring in disbelief at Emmett.

" Okay, hold on, let me get this right. Jasper told Ana he loved her at the airport, left, came all the way here, just to turn around and leave and try to get a flight to California," I say, every word coming out of my mouth sounding more and more ridiculous.

" Yeah, pretty much," Emmett says, laughing as he pops a grape in his mouth.

" Oh wow," I say, sitting back against my chair.

" Yeah, wow," Edward says smiling like a fool. " Its about time."

" Amen," I whisper smiling to myself.

**Ana's POV**

I have been home for almost a whole day, and Jasper's words are still reeling around in my head. I stare through the darkness of my bedroom, wishing that I could just pick up the phone and call him. There are so many things I have to ask him. The first being did he mean it. What if he didn't? Or what if he just meant that he loves me like a friend? 'Oh God that that would kill me,' I think to myself as I roll over on my bed. If there was one thing that I have learned about Jasper Hale, its that he is easily the most confusing individual that I have ever met. I sit up in my bed and grab my phone. I scroll down the names until I come across Jades. 'Come on Jade, now is the time for you to answer your phone,' I think to myself and I groan loudly when her voicemail clicks on. I snap my phone shut in frustration throwing my phone across my room. It smacks the wall with a small thud and I smile somewhat satisfied. Not to self, the next time I need to release some frustration just throw a phone. I open my bedroom door slowly and walk down stairs quietly. I notice the light on in the kitchen and walk in to find my Mom awake, studying a cookbook.

" Hey Momma," I say, pulling open the fridge door.

" Hello sweetheart, cant sleep?" Mom asks, lowering the cook book to look at me.

" No," I say taking a long drink from a water bottle.

" I see. So when were you going to tell me about the tattoo?" she asks, looking at me sternly. I pull down on the hem of my shirt quickly.

" Oh that, well, see," I say, fumbling for some sort of explanation.

" Did Jade talk you into it?" she asks, pulling her glasses off.

" No," I say, " I talked her into it."

" Yeah, right," she says smiling brightly.

" I'm serious it was all my idea. Don't worry Mom, this is the only one," I say, hopping up on the counter. I sit cross legged smiling at her.

" Good. So tell me what's on your mind little girl," she says, sliding the cookbook shut. I stare at her for a minute in silence.

" Well, to be honest, Jasper," I say at length. A knowing smile touches her lips.

" I kind of figured," she says, getting up. I watch as she gets down two mugs. I know she is making hot coco. That's what she would always do late at night when I couldn't sleep and needed to talk.

" Mom, there is something I have to tell you," I say, looking at her seriously. My heart starts hammering in my chest. I'm afraid to tell her that I had sex with Jasper, afraid that this would be the one time she would become the strict parent who tells me how disappointed she is in me.

" What is it sweetheart?" she asks, handing me the mug of hot coco. I set it down and look at her.

" Jasper and I, well, we" I start and she chokes on her hot coco.

" Annalisa Marie Benson!" she exclaims staring at me in shock.

" Mom, please calm down okay, its no big deal," I say, closing my eyes against the oncoming fury.

" Okay, I'm calm, I'm sorry. Its just, Ana, I don't want you to make a mistake that you cant take back," she says, her voice shaky.

" I know Mom, it happened just one time, and honestly, I don't regret it. I'm in love with him Momma, and it scares the hell out of me," I say, tears rolling down my cheeks.

" Oh honey, I know its scary, but just do me a favor. Take it slow, don't rush anything, and if you and him are going to you know again, promise me two things. One you will always use protection, and two, you wont tell me," she says, laughing lightly.

" I promise," I say, hugging her tightly. " I love you Mom."

" I love you too, my girl," she whispers. I pull away, looking at her. We smile at each other and fall back into a relatively content silence when the door bell rings causing us both to jump.

" Who would be here at this hour?" she asks, and I turn to look at the clock and it read one in the morning.

" I don't know, I'll go check," I say, sliding off the counter. I walk through the dark house to the front door. Flipping on the porch light, I unlock the front door. I pull it open slowly and stand in shocked silence at Jasper's sleepy face.

" Jasper?" I ask, pulling the door open widely.

" Ana, sorry to drop in on you this way, but I had to talk to you. I couldn't just leave things the way that they were," he says, and I smile even as I feel the tears clouding my eyes.

" Ana, who is it?" my mom calls from the kitchen.

" Come on," I say, grabbing Jasper's arm pulling him out of the cold and into the warmth of the house. I take his bag from his shoulder and take him by the hand leading him into the kitchen.

" Uhm, mom, this is Jasper, Jasper, my mom," I say, smiling nervously. My moms face relaxes into a huge smile as she steps forward to hug him.

" It's so nice to meet you Jasper, Ana has told me all about you. Look at you, half asleep on your feet, come on I will show you to the guest room, you and Ana can talk tomorrow," my mom says, leading Jasper from the kitchen, leaving me to stare after them in confusion. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I guess tomorrow I will find out.


	31. Chapter 31: The First Of Every Tear

**Author's Note: Hello All and Welcome Back To I Can Feel You :D Sorry that it has been so long, but I think that the break was well worth it. I have missed writing this story though, so it seems insomnia serves its purpose. Obviously, I am not Stephanie Meyer, so I Do Not Own the Beauty that Is Twilight or its characters. But I DO Own ICFY :D So Ana and Jade are mine all mine, though I dont mind sharing at all. Anyways, Hope that You all enjoy this chapter. As Always, Read, Enjoy, and Review :D **

**Chapter 31: The First Of Every Tear I'm Going To Cry**

I have been pacing the floor of my room for hours. If pacing were an Olympic sport, I would be a gold medalist. It should have been beautifully romantic, Jasper showing up on my door step after telling me he loves me in the airport. I should have swooned and wept and thrown myself into his arms, only I didn't. Instead I stared at him numbly, before introducing him to my mother, who expertly showed him to the guest room, on the other side of the house. Strategic move on her part. Countless times I have walked to my door, ready to go to him and figure this all out, and every time I have stopped myself. In order to get to Jasper, I would have to pass my moms room, and she would be, undoubtedly watching the hall like a hawk watches its prey. I finally sit in front of my bedroom window, watching as the sun rises slowly over the surrounding hills. I hold my phone tightly in my hand and dial Jade's number. It rings. Once. Twice. Three times.

" Hello," Jade's sleepy voice groans through the phone.

" You know, you could have given me a heads up that Jasper was coming," I hiss into the phone.

" Ana, you of all people should know better than anyone, not to wake me up this early," she hisses back. I cant help but to smile smugly to myself.

" Yeah, well we will just call this payback," I say, twirling a strand of hair around my finger.

" I thought you would be happy," she says, sounding more alert with every word.

" I am, I think. I don't know, its just, he said he loved me, and then left. It threw me for a loop, and then he just shows up on my door step in the middle of the night, right after I told my mother about me and him sleeping together," I say, groaning at the messy situation I have found myself in.

" Wait you told your mom? Why?" she asks, her voice curious.

" Come on now Jade, you know me. I cant keep anything from her if my life depended on it," I say, throwing my hair over my shoulder.

" True, the ever moralistic Ana," she whispers and I laugh involuntarily at that.

" Sorry, listen go back to bed. Give everyone my love. I guess we will see you in a few days," I say, hanging up the phone. I stare at the oncoming sun and decide that now is as good of a time as any to find out just what Jasper Hale is thinking.

With a renewed sense of resolve I walk carefully down the stairs. I can hear the hushed voices of in the kitchen and I cringe inwardly as I walk into the kitchen, fixing a smile on my face.

" Good morning sweet heart," my mom says, a bright smile beaming at me.

" Morning," I say, reaching for a mug from the cabinet.

" Hey," Jasper says, staring at me deeply.

" Hey," I say, making my voice sound up beat and happy.

" Jasper and I have been up for a while now, we were wondering when you were going to get your sleepy bum out of bed," my mom says, closing the oven door behind her.

" Oh, well, I've been up for awhile, I was talking to Jade for awhile," I say, sipping hot coffee from my mug.

" Aww. How is Jade doing?" she asks, and I smile at her.

" Great, she is enjoying her time with Edward," I say, setting the mug on the counter. " Is there anything you need help with?"

" No, I have it under control here. I actually have everything under control this morning, so I figured you could show Jasper around town," she says and I smile, silently thanking her for giving me the opportunity to some privacy when it comes to this issue.

" Oh okay, so Jasper, can you be ready in twenty minutes?" I ask, turning to look at him. He smiles slowly nodding his head, remaining quiet.

" Good, see you in twenty then," I say, walking out of the kitchen heading back to my room to get dressed.

Twenty minutes later I pull out of my mothers driveway with Jasper sitting in the passenger seat for once. Its quiet for awhile, the only noise coming from the stereo playing lowly in the background.

" This isn't what I necessarily imagined California to be like," Jasper says at length and I look at him from the corner of my eye.

" What were you expecting?" I ask, smiling as I turn down a familiar road.

" I don't know, more glitz, more glamour, more Hollywood" he says, and I laugh loudly at this.

" Not everywhere in California is like Hollywood Jasper, and even Hollywood isn't all that its cracked up to be," I say, settling easily into my seat and into the conversation.

" So where are we going?" he asks, shifting nervously in his seat.

" The park," I say, stopping my car at a red light.

" Oh," he says and once again silence falls in the car.

I push out of the car and smile at the park that lay in front of me. Lane Park was somewhere that Jade I frequented when we were in high school. Summer nights of playing on the toys like little kids, or school days when we just didn't feel like going to classes, sometimes I wonder how she and I managed to graduate at all. I laugh at the thought and Jasper throws me a curious look.

" This place must mean something to you," he says, walking behind me as I lead the way towards a table.

" It does, Jade and I spent a lot of time here," I say, smiling as I run my fingers over one of the wooden tables. I search the hundreds of names that had been carved into the wood, beaming wildly when I find mine and Jade's. " See."

Jasper looks down and smiles when he sees our names. I push myself up on the table and sit, turned towards him. We stare at each other for a while, a soft but cold wind blowing over us, rustling our hair.

" What are you doing here Jasper?" I ask, shoving my hands into the pockets of my sweater. He stares at me blankly before taking a deep breath.

" I couldn't leave things the way that I left them yesterday," he says running a hand through his hair, " Walking out of that airport was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I was miserable. And I felt like I had to explain."

" Jasper, a phone call would have done the job," I say, smiling nervously.

" No it wouldn't have. I didn't want you to think that the only reason that I told you I love you is because of what happened the other night, because it isn't. Don't get me wrong, the other night was incredible, but I should have told you a long time ago how I felt, and I just never did, and there is no way that I can apologize enough for tha," he says in a rush, and I act on impulse. I grab him by the front of his sweater, bunching my hand in the material, and kiss him. I can feel the shock radiating off of him before he kisses back. I pull away smiling.

" What was that for?" he asks, and I smile brightly.

" That was because I love you, and I don't care how you told me, I'm just glad that you told me. I cant tell you how happy I am that you and I are going to be together now. I honestly didn't think that you were ever going to come around Jasper," I say hugging him. I feel him tense and pull away slowly to look at him. " What, did I say something wrong?" I look at him. And he stares at me his eyes blank.

" Ana, slow down. I don't think that we should be together," he says slowly. In that instant everything shatters and falls away.

" What do you mean we shouldn't be together? Why the hell not?" I ask, my voice raising as I get up to pace over the green grass of the park.

" Look, Ana. I love you, I do. I'm just not ready for another relationship, I'm not ready to take that step," he says, walking towards me. I back away instinctively. I raise my hands in front of me shaking my head like I am trying to shake away his words.

" That's bullshit Jasper and you know it. You aren't ready for a relationship, but your ready to tell me you love me?" I ask accusingly. He shoves his slim hands into his pocket and nods his head. " Okay, look, Jasper. I love you. I have loved you from the moment that I saw you. I have ridden on this rollercoaster of emotions without you, waiting for you to step up and get on the ride so to speak. I have experienced every single conceivable emotion that I can think of because of you, and still at the angriest I have been at you there has been this voice in the back of my head that has told me to keep fighting, because we could make this last. So here it is Jasper. Here I am. Just a girl, who is terrified of being alone. I hate waking up alone every single day knowing that you are just across the hall. I hate pretending that everything is okay when inside I am dying because you cant just take the leap. I have been nothing but patient waiting for you, but not anymore. You have two choices Jasper, take me as I am right now, and know that I love you more than anything in this world and that it can be enough, or walk away. But I can assure you that if you walk away, you wont get another chance. I will move on with my life, and as much as it will hurt I will forget about you somehow, I will learn to not feel excited every time I see you, and I will reign in the butterflies you bring to life in me every time you look my way. SO what are you going to do?" I ask, breathless from my tirade.

" That isn't fair Ana," Jasper says, anger raising in his voice as he stands staring at me with stormy eyes.

" Well you know what, its about time that I start being the one who isn't fair," I say, glaring at him. " So what is it going to be?"

" I'm sorry Ana," he says and I close my eyes. The tears well up and I don't fight them. There is no point in fighting the inevitable. I open my eyes and look at him.

" It's fine," I say, pushing past him walking as fast as I can towards the car.

" Ana, wait," Jasper calls after me. I stop and turn to look at him.

" I'm done waiting Jasper, I cant do it anymore," I say, turning back around, sliding into the car.

I walk into the house dropping my bag with a small thud.

" Honey, I'm home," I yell out in sing song voice. I hear the rushing of footsteps coming down the stairs, and cant fight the smile. I see Emmett's huge form rushing down the stairs first and he grabs me up in a hug that has me squealing.

" Your home, yay, my Ana-banana is home," Emmett says spinning me in a million dizzying circles. He sets me down and I smile hugely.

" Aww, I missed you Emmy," I say, pinching his cheek lovingly. I smile to myself at the blush that paints his cheeks. Jade grabs me in a tight hug next and I smile into her hair, feeling my hold on control slip only slightly.

" Where's Jasper?" Edward asks, looking curiously around for him. I feel my smile falter.

" Yeah where is my brother? I have an earful to give him from my parents. They weren't angry about him not being there for Thanksgiving, they were upset that it's taken him so long to open his eyes and realize what a catch that you are," Rosalie says, smiling her beautiful smile. I feel my smile shake just slightly, I have yet to confide in anyone what happened between me and Jasper that day in the park. I suffered in silence through Thanksgiving dinner, my mother talking excitedly thinking that her little girl finally got her man. I didn't have the heart to tell her that once again, I wasn't enough.

" He should be coming soon," I say, grabbing my bag from the floor. " Well guys, I will come catch up with you all soon, I'm just going to run upstairs and put this stuff away." I walk slowly up the stairs and open my bedroom door, just to see half of Jade's things missing. What the hell is going on? I toss my bag on the bed and turn when I hear someone behind me. Jade stands against the door smiling at me.

" Where is your stuff?" I ask sitting on the edge of my bed.

" Oh, well. I don't want you to freak out or anything, but I am going to be moving into Edward's room," Jade says, her smile so big and happy that I don't have the heart to rain on her parade.

" Aww, Jade, that's awesome," I say, hugging her tightly. I hold onto the hug for longer than I intended too. Perfect timing, just when everything in my world was moving towards perfection, Jasper shatters that, and now my best friend was moving into her boyfriends room leaving me undeniably alone.

" Ana, what's the matter?" Jade asks, pulling away from my tight hug. I blink at the tears furiously.

" Nothing, I'm just happy that your happy, you deserve it," I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly.

" Well thank you, but your lying," she says, sitting me down on my bed. She sits across from me her eyes searching mine. " Did something happen in California?" I just nod my head sadly not wanting to meet her knowing glance. " Talk to me."

" I took Jasper to the park to talk to him. I asked him why he was there. He said he came because he couldn't leave things the way they were. He needed to tell me how he felt. He told me he loved me, and I saw it, in that one moment. What I have wanted for months was right there, at my fingertips. I said that I was happy that we were going to be together. that's when he informed me that we couldn't be together. He isn't ready for a relationship. He was ready to tell me he loves me, but not ready to do something about it. I laid it all out for him Jade, told him how I felt, and I gave him the choice, either swallow his pride and take the leap or walk away from any chance that he might have. He walked away," I say, choking out the last bit of the sentence, sorrow taking my whole being. I cover my face with my hands and cry out my shattered heart. " I told him that I could forget what I feel for him Jade. I told him I would move on and let it go, but I was lying. How am I ever going to forget?"

" I don't know, what I do know is that I'm going to move my stuff back in here," she whispers into my hair.

" What? No you cant," I say, pulling away to look at her through watery eyes.

" I am not going to leave my best friend alone with a broken heart, I'm sorry girl, but that just isn't going to happen," she says sternly.

" Listen to me Jade, I love you for that, I do. But you deserve to have this with Edward, and I will be okay. I know its going to hurt for a while, but what is love without a little bit of pain. Besides its time I start being a big girl, and dealing with the shit life throws at me on my own," I say, wiping my face furiously.

" Fine, but if ever you need me, I'm just downstairs, you can always climb in bed with me and Edward," she says laughing. I shake with my own laughter.

" Yeah, because I am sure that wouldn't be awkward at all," I say, hugging her tightly.

" It's going to be okay Ana," she whispers and I just nod my head into her shoulder. It is going to be okay, it has to be, right?

**JASPER'S POV**

The plane ride from California to Washington was a short, but painful one. I don't know what my problem is, but I have to take the medal for the stupidest man in this world. I sat the whole time, watching Ana. She sat the whole time poised and reserved, just as she did through out Thanksgiving dinner. Why, oh why didn't I just give her what she wanted, and what I wanted so desperately myself. I tried talking to her a few times, but her putting her I-pod on securely told me she was in no mood to talk to me anytime soon. She rushed out ahead of when the plane landed and I couldn't even catch up to her when she got her luggage. The real slap in the face was when she got into a taxi instead of getting into my car. Not that I don't deserve it. Just what the hell was I thinking? I sit looking at the house and dread walking in. By now, Ana has probably already spilled everything to Jade. I groan and shudder inwardly. Hell hath no fury like Jade scorned. I open the car door and push out, walking slowly towards the front door. I take a deep breath reaching for the door knob, turning it slowly I peer inside and see no one in sight. I thank whatever luck I have on my side as I slide in, and quietly close the door behind me. I creep up the stairs and pause in front of Jade and Ana's room. I listen as Ana's sad, and tear filled voice rings through the door.

" I told him that I could forget what I feel for him Jade. I told him I would move on and let it go, but I was lying. How am I ever going to forget?" Ana says, and my heart shudders inside my chest. I open my door and close it behind me, sliding against the door. I put my head in my hands and try and breathe. Its an impossibility. Breathing when the woman that I love more than anything is crying her eyes out of my stupidity isn't possible. I slam my head back against the bedroom door and close my eyes, the first of what I know is going to be many tears fall down my cheeks as I realize that I just ruined the one chance at true happiness that I had.


	32. Chapter 32: Into The Night

**Author's Note: Hello All! Still dont own Twilight, though I wish for it at 11:11 :D Okay so here is Chapter 32. Just to WARN everyone fairly, this is a sad/depressing chapter! I'm sorry, it was just one of those days. Anyways, please Read, Enjoy, and Review!!! Love You All As Always!**

**Chapter 32: Into The Night**

"_Death ends a life, not a relationship."-Robert Benchley_

Ignoring someone who lives across the hall from you is hard, what's harder is to do it when every fiber of your being knows that you should be with that person. I sit in my office staring out of the window, tapping my pen incessantly against the desk. I think I have been making some head way in the forgetting about Jasper category. Not every song I write is about him, regardless of what Jade says. I don't think about him anymore at all really, or the way he smiles, how he smells, or the adorable way that he runs his fingers through his hair when he is nervous. Damn it, stupid Jasper. I throw the pen in my hand against the wall just in time to someone opening the door to my office.

" Whoa, is it safe?" the deep, familiar voice of Brody asks. I roll my eyes as my stomach rolls. Brody has been doing a good job of staying away from me ever since the night that Jasper beat him half to death right outside of this office.

" What do you want?" I ask, bitterness and anger coursing through my voice.

" Big boss lady wants to see us," he says, shoving his hand nervously in his pockets.

" Her name is Veronica," I say, pushing away from my desk. I smooth out the shirt and skirt that I am wearing and push past him, walking slowly down the hall way.

" Ana, wait, are you ever going to forgive me?" he asks, catching my elbow. I turn to look at him with steely eyes.

" Forgive you for what? For being an ass, or for the whole fiasco a month ago? Either way, things aren't looking up for you," I say, pulling my arm from his grasp.

" Come on Ana, I am truly sorry. For everything, I haven't been right you know? In more ways than one, but I'm getting help now, so please, just give me a chance to make it up to you," he says, his eyes shining with sincerity. I can feel my heart soften a bit.

" Look Brody, I will tell you this. I forgive you and I will forget that all of what happened, happened, but I think that we should just be what we are, co-workers, nothing more, nothing less," I say, smiling slightly.

" Ahh come now Ana, cant we at least be friends?" he asks, his voice whining.

" We'll see, for now your on probation," I say jokingly.

" Yes!" he proclaims, throwing his hands in the air, " That's something at least."

" All right, well we better get to Veronica's office before she hunts us down," I say, pulling Brody by the hand behind me. I knock softly on the door to Veronica's office.

" Come in," Veronica's melodic voice calls out, and I slide the door open.

" You wanted to see us," I say, the smile on my face faltering, and falling away altogether as I see Jasper standing behind Veronica's desk.

" Ahh, yes, Ana dear how are you?" Veronica asks, standing and skirting around her desk to pull me into a warm hug.

" I'm well," I say, hugging her back while looking over her shoulder at Jasper. He stands straight, staring at me deeply.

" That's great to hear. So sit please, I have some amazing news," she says as Brody and I sit.

" Okay," I say, sitting down carefully. What news could be so amazing with Jasper here?

" So, as you both know the label has been doing, amazingly well. Especially with Ana here working on scouting out bands and getting them in the studio," Veronica says, and I blush madly at the recognition. " With that said, an opportunity has risen, one that I think the three of you would be the best for."

" Wait the three of us?" I ask, sitting forward. She couldn't possibly mean that Brody and I are supposed to work with her demon incarnate of a son.

" Yes, Jasper has always played a role in this company, now granted its usually a silent role, but he is in all truth the one who came up with this opportunity. Anyways, onto business. There is going to be a string of shows in Oregon, mostly underground, and I want you three there this weekend. The goal is to scout out the best of the best. Accommodations will be taken of, down the rental car that you will be driving down there," she says smiling brightly at us. Now, for most this would be an opportunity of a lifetime. For me, its like I am being forced into hell.

" This is so awesome," Brody says, breaking the silence the fell after Veronica delivered her news.

" Oh yeah, awesome. Thank you for the opportunity," I say standing up.

" All right so you guys will be leaving the day after tomorrow, Jasper has all the information, he will get everything you guys need to you shortly," Veronica says, and I excuse myself from her office. I walk back to my office in a daze and decide that God or what every holy entity that presides over my life, really must hate me.

" Wait let me get this straight, you have to go all the way to Oregon with Brody the crazy stalker dude, and Jasper?" Jade asks, looking at me sympathetically.

" Yes," I mumble darkly into my pillow.

" So, why the hell didn't you just back out?" she asks, nudging me roughly. I peer up at her and roll my eyes.

" Oh yeah that would have worked. I'm sorry veronica, I know that this an opportunity of a lifetime, but I am going to bow out gracefully, because I would rather jump out of my office window then be stuck in Oregon for a weekend with your son the jack ass," I say sitting up with a groan.

" This is true," she says at length and I sigh heavily.

" I guess I just have to suck it up and do what I have to do," I say, banging my head against the wall. There is a soft knock on the door and we look over to see Jasper popping his head around the door.

" Hey can I talk to you for a second?" he asks, and I glare at him.

" Okay I am going to go. I need to find Edward anyways, play nice children," Jade says pushing past Jasper and out of the room. Some friend she is, deserting me in my time of need.

" I know that you were surprised by my mothers news," Jasper says, running a hand nervously through his hair. I smile to myself at the act. " I figure that for the sake of your job, and so that my mother doesn't kill me we can play along and pretend that you don't hate me."

" Fine, whatever you say Jasper," I say, rolling over on my bed so that my back faces him. I listen as the door opens and wait to hear it close but no sound comes.

" Damn it Ana, cant we at least be friends?" Jasper asks, his voice filling with frustration. I can feel tears of bitterness filling my eyes as I lay stubbornly on my bed not speaking a word. " Ana, please." He sounds desperate, almost lost.

I stand up from the bed, and turn slowly to look at him.

" Jasper, I wish that it was that easy. I have been fighting for two weeks to just forget everything that I feel for you. To just move on, and be happy, and be friends, but I cant do it," I say, looking at him seriously.

" Why? Why cant you? Do you think this is easy for me? I cant stop thinking about you Ana, every second of every damn day your in my head. I wake up thinking about you, I go to sleep wishing you were next to me. It's killing me Ana," he says, stepping towards me. My head screams at me to back away, to not fall for this again. I keep my feet planted and look at him.

" You did this Jasper. You said no. I laid my heart on the line for you, and you walked away, so if this is hard on you, you only have yourself to blame for it," I say, crossing my arms tightly around me, my voice as cold as ice. Something flashes in his eyes, almost as if he feels challenged by my sudden iciness towards him.

" I never would have thought that you, of all people could be such a cold bitch," he says, backing away towards the door. His words leave me speechless and bruised, and they play in my head like a c.d on repeat as I sink to the floor and let the silence take me away.

'I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world.' My phone shrieks at me and I open puffy and tear dried eyes. I sit up and look around slightly disoriented. I get to my feet walking slowly to my dresser. I look at who is calling and see Alice's name flashing across the screen. I flip open my phone and stifle a yawn before answering.

" Hello," I say, and immediately my heart sinks at the sound of her crying voice on the other side.

" Ana, I'm really sorry to call you like this, I just didn't know who else to call. I didn't want to call Em or Edward because they would flip," Alice says into the phone, her usually happy and upbeat voice thickened by her tears.

" Alice, please slow down, what's wrong?" I ask, flipping on the light in my room.

" It's Mike. We got into this stupid fight because he wants to race his stupid truck tonight and I don't want to be there, so he kicked me out of the car and left me," she says and I roll my eyes at the stupidity of the male species.

" Where are you? Jade and I will come get you," I say, and I grab a piece of paper and scribble down her directions. " Okay just stay calm, be there soon." I slide my phone into my pocket and slip on a sweater as I walk from my room. I bounce down the stairs and walk quickly towards Edward and Jade's room. ' That still sounds so weird to me,' I think to myself as I knock on the door. There is no answer, so I take my chances and open the door slowly.

" Jade?" I call out and there is no answer. " Well shit, where did they disappear to?" I walk from their room and decide that I would ask Emmett, he always seems to know where everyone is, at all times. I knock on Emmett's door and push it open when there is no answer.

" Em," I call out and I walk towards the open bathroom door. I walk in expecting to find Rosalie but instead I what I find is far more entertaining. I stand paralyzed by the scene in front of me, and then burst out into hysterical laughter. Emmett sits in an outrageously huge bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles, holding a black rubber ducky with horns.

" Hiya Ana-Banana, say hello to Sir. Quaksalot," Emmett says, grinning wildly as he holds up the rubber duck to me.

" Erm, hi," I say laughing so hard tears come to my eyes.

" What can I do you for half-pint?" he asks, totally unashamed of the state that he is in.

" I was just wondering if you knew where Jade was," I say, jingling the keys in my hand nervously.

" Oh yeah she and Edward went to the store? Everything okay? You look like you've been crying," he says, and I smile sincerely at him. Nothing ever gets past Em.

" Oh yeah, I'm fine, just had a short run in with he who shall not be named," I say, smiling at him.

" Need me to straighten him out?" he asks his tone turning serious.

" No, its okay. Well, since Jade isn't here. I guess I will go by myself," I say, heading towards the door.

" Where you going? If you can wait for a few, I'll tag a long," he says, and I smile when I look over my shoulder at him.

" Oh I'm just going to see a friend, and that's okay Em, enjoy your time with Sir. Quaksalot," I say laughing as I walk from the room.

I follow Alice's directions exactly and have to say that I am quite proud that I managed not to get lost. I put the car in park and slide out of the car making my way towards Alice.

" Hey buddy," I say, sitting on the bench next to her. In answer she just sniffles, and my heart goes out to her. No one can break your heart more thoroughly than someone that you love. I slide my arm around her and hug tightly letting her cry.

" Boys are so dumb," Alice finally says at length.

" Your preaching to the choir," I say, pulling away from her fixing a sympathetic smile on my face.

" I know. Thanks for this Ana, really. I have just one more favor to ask you," she says and I smile nodding. " Do you think I could crash with you tonight?"

" Of course. By the time we get back Jade will be home, and we can do some quality therapy time with Ben and Jerry and bash guys," I say, getting to my feet.

" Nothing has ever sounded better to me," she says and we slide into my car. " Okay I lied, I have two favors to ask of you. Can we just drive by where King Butt-face is racing. I just want to make sure that he wont do anything stupid."

" No problem. But if you don't mind me asking, why don't you just use your gift?" I ask, looking at her from the corner of my eye.

" I made a promise to myself that after Jasper, I wouldn't use my gift to see what will happen between me and a significant other, and besides Mike doesn't know yet," she says and I nod in understanding.

" Okay, turn here, yeah see, there he is," she says pointing to Mike who stands confidently next to his car. I park the Explorer and cut the engine.

" Do you want to go over there?" I ask, and she just shakes her head. I watch as Mike climbs into his truck and revs the engine. ' Boys and their toys,' I think to myself. I cant help but to feel some sort of exhilaration as I watch the cars race past us, and I smile slightly to myself as Alice whispers under her breath, silently cheering Mike on. Then it happens, he takes the turn to fast and as if in slow motion his truck flips multiple times.

" Mike," Alice shrieks as she tears out of the car. I push out after her, my heart hammering in my chest as I run towards the wreckage right behind her. Alice pushes through the crowd with a force that is unbelievable and I follow her lead.

" Someone call 911." Alice screams and almost as if at once people are on their phones yelling for help. Mike lays outside of his truck, blood pooling underneath him and Alice kneels down next to him, her hands running over his body.

" You idiot, what were you thinking? I told you not to go," she says, tears pouring down her face.

" Hey, don't cry, I'll be fine, you'll see. How bad is the truck?" Mike gasps out and I kneel down next to him on the other side. I hate to say it, in the last few months I couldn't help but to get somewhat attached to Mike. He was after all what I looked at as my saving grace. He was with Alice therefore Jasper was available. It wasnt only that though, it was his crazy randomness, and I could tell even at the times when he was being a complete ass, he loves Alice. Since Alice and I have become close, her happiness with Mike has helped having him around tolerable. I take his hand smiling down at him.

" I hate to tell you Mikey, but the truck is toast," I say, and he smirks slightly.

" Of course it is, poor truck. I'm sorry Ali, I should have listened to you. Tell my mom I love her," he says, closing his eyes slowly.

" Mike, Mike, don't you dare. You stay with me do you hear me?" Alice yells, and finally she starts crying so hard you cant even make out the words that she is saying. I start crying as I let go of his hand and scoot back across the gravel. The flashing lights come, and the sound of sirens screaming shrilly, piercing the quiet night. I grab Alice and hold onto her as she cries, looking on as the paramedics works feverishly to save Mike. Finally when they stand back and an officer walks towards us I know it's too late.

" I'm sorry," he says and that breaks it. I buckle under Alice as she drops to her to knees, weeping uncontrollably into her hands. " Is there anyone we can call?" I look up blindly and slightly in shock at the officer. I shiver and nod my head giving him the number to the house. It's silent know, as I sit in the same spot, holding Alice, her tears run dry. I sit and stare at the emptiness of the night. Mikes truck already towed away, the ambulance gone, people cleared out. I stare into the blackness that surrounds us and know that after tonight, things will never be the same.


	33. Chapter 33: The Games That Play Us

**Authors Note: Hello Everyone, Amber here. Still not the owner of Twilight. So I want to apologize firstly for the fact that my chapters have been few and far between. Just been dealing with reality, but I promise it will become regualr again. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 33: The Games That Play Us**

" _Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal,"-From a Headstone in Ireland. _

I don't know how long we have been sitting here, Alice and I, clutching each other with nothing but the silence surrounding us. It isn't until the sound of an approaching car that I look up in a daze and see them approaching. Edward and Emmett first, a look of concern distorting their usually easy going faces. I feel Edward's warm hands pulling Alice from my hold, and the sound of fresh tears rips at my already shattered heart.

" What happened?" Emmett asks, looking down at me. " Are you guys hurt? Why is there blood on your shirt, Ana?"

" I, we, we came to check on," I stumble over the words, shaking more from the shock of the experience than the cold December air that nips at me.

" Emmett stop. You and Edward should take Alice back to her apartment, we'll take Ana home," Rosalie says easily, laying a shaking hand on Emmett's shoulder. I look at them through blurry eyes and see the look that passes between them.

" Ana, come on honey. We're going to take you home now," Jade says, kneeling down to look at me. I just nod and let her and Rosalie help me to my feet. I walk with them, their arms wrapped around my waist. I shoot just one small glance over my shoulder and watch as Emmett lifts Alice into his arms. She looks so small, like a doll. SO broken, the light has left her once bright eyes. My heart breaks more as I watch them walk away, and I wish that I could do something, anything, to ease her pain.

" Rose, can you get Ana some tea, I'm going to take her upstairs so she can get cleaned up," Jade says, her voice low as she leads me up the stairs. I let her lead me, walking with her, not knowing how it is that that I am putting one foot in front of the other.

" You going to be okay if I leave you alone?" Jade asks looking at me with concerned eyes. I nod simply and watch as she leaves the bathroom sliding the door shut silently behind her. I turn on the shower water as hot as it will go and strip my blood stained clothes dropping them on the floor, and step into the billowing steam. I start scrubbing and crying, trying to rinse away the blood, wash away the things that I keep seeing in my head. Finally I slide down against the wall of the shower pulling my knees to my chest and start crying. I finally run dry of tears but I am left unable to move, even as the water runs icy cold. I shiver violently against the cold water that hits my skin. A soft knock at the door comes and I cant find my voice to call out to whoever it is.

" Ana?" Jasper's voice calls out. I hear the door open, and close slowly. Jasper's milky white hand reaches through the shower curtain snapping off the water. He slides the curtain back slowly. I stare ahead, watching water drops slide down the wall. I feel something warm wrap around me and look up only when Jasper lifts me easily from the shower. I lay my head against his shoulder as he carries me from the bathroom into his room. He sets me on his bed, and reaches over me clicking on his bed side lamp. Lifting my chin with his fingers he looks at me, and I can feel whatever pain I thought I washed down the drain flood back into me like a tidal wave.

" I'm going to get you some clothes okay?" Jasper asks and I open my mouth to say something, only to find that I cant speak. My voice just wont come out. So I nod and watch as he walks across the hall into my room. He comes back holding a pair of pajama pants and a shirt. He kneels in front of me, sliding my shirt over my head.

" Turn around," I say finally, my voice breaking only slightly. He smiles a quick smile of relief as he turns around so that I can finish dressing myself. " Okay," I say, and he turns back around and sits next to me taking my hand in his.

" What happened? I got a voicemail from Edward saying there was an accident and that everyone was on their way to come and get you and Alice," he says and I close my eyes swaying slightly at the thought of having to say it out loud.

" Alice called me to come and get her because she and Mike had a fight. So when I picked her up she told me they were fighting because he wanted to do some race and she didn't want him to, so he ditched her on the side of the road. Well, like any girl, she wanted to drive by and check on him. We got there, and he was getting ready to race. We were sitting there, and we watched as he raced, and for a second I could feel the exhilaration in the whole place. Then it happened, he took the turn too fast, and he flipped the truck. Alice, she uh, she ran so quickly and she pushed through the huge crowd and I went after her, and Mike, he was laying, on the pavement. There was so much blood, and he was actually joking about his poor truck," I say, tears constricting my throat. He slides closer to me lifting his arm to wrap around me, but I shake my head pushing myself off of the bed. I wrap my arms around myself tightly and stare out of his bedroom window. " Then he was gone. He told Alice he was sorry and told her to tell his mom that he loves her, and then he just closed his eyes. By then the paramedics came and moved us away. I just held Alice while she cried, and I prayed, for some sort of miracle, that he would be okay. But he isn't okay, he died. For what?" I scream, feeling the pain rising inside of me, ready to make me explode at any minute. " There was no reason for this, none. He made a stupid choice and it cost him his life, and Alice. What about Alice? She watched the man she loves die, and here I am crying like he was my brother or something. It doesn't make sense Jasper, it just doesn't make any fucking sense anymore."

" Ana, please, just let me help," he says reaching for me, and I finally let go, collapsing to his bedroom floor praying that I could somehow forget.

I drag myself downstairs Friday morning, wishing that I didn't have to go on this stupid trip. All I have wanted to do was sleep, and that's what I have been doing. Curled in a tight ball on my bed, I-pod blaring to drown out the sound of my own dreams.

" Ana-banana," Emmett's surprised voice calls to me and I look over a small smile haunting my lips. " Are you ready to go?" I nod in answer and open the front door.

" Ana wait," Jade calls and I stop to look at her. She hugs me tightly to her. " You don't have to go on this trip you know?"

" I know, and as much as I don't want to go out, I need to get out," I whisper to her. She squeezes me one last time before letting go.

" If you need me, call me," she says and I nod. I climb into Emmett's jeep and sit back against the seat.

" Thanks Em, for taking me," I say, unable to meet his careful glance.

" No problem half-pint," Emmett says starting his jeep. I jump slightly at the rumble of the engine closing my eyes, willing my heart to stop pounding. It's been only two days since the accident that took Mike's life, but in those two days so many things have changed. Alice would be moving back into the house, becoming my new roommate, no one spoke much about what happened, and what's worse I cant bring myself to drive. I sat in my car for a full hour yesterday staring blankly at the garage door trying to get myself to start the car, and I couldn't do it, which leaves me in the humiliating situation of having to get rides to go where I need to go. I settle into an easy silence with Emmett, listening to the soft murmur of the radio. I close my eyes against the small ray of sunshine that pushes its way through the cloud cover.

" Ana," Emmett's voice stirs me enough to open my eyes.

" Yeah," I answer back and I look over at his softly smiling face.

" We're here," he says, and I look up to see Jasper and Brody waiting for me by the rental car.

" Thanks again for the ride Em," I say, sliding out of the jeep.

" Sure, anytime. Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do, which pretty much leaves your options open," he says, hugging me sweetly. " Oh wait, I have something for you." I watch as he rustles around under the driver seat and cant help but to burst out in laughter when he holds Sir. Quaksalot out to me. " You know just in case you get scared or something while your away." I take the silly duck from his hands and hold it close to my heart. Sometimes the sweetness that is Emmett catches me so off guard it leaves me breathless.

" Thanks Em," I whisper hugging him tightly, " Don't worry I will bring Sir. Quaksalot home to you safely." I step back from his hold and make my way to the awaiting car.

" You ready to go?" Brody asks, and I look back one final time before nodding my head and sliding into the back seat of the car.

I open my eyes slowly at the sensation of someone covering me up.

" Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Jasper says, looking at me seriously.

" Its'kay" I say, my voice sleepy. " Where are we?" I ask, sitting up looking around blinking my eyes slowly.

" Only about two hours out, we stopped because Brody needed a bathroom," he says, sliding to sit next to me.

" Oh," I say, rubbing my eyes, and stretching.

" Listen Ana, I have been meaning to talk to you about something," Jasper starts saying, but he is quickly interrupted by a hyper Brody bouncing into the car.

" Whew, I didn't think I was going to make it to the bathroom in time, dude seriously you should have seen the size of the, oh good morning sleeping beauty," Brody says, blushing deeply at what he was about to say. Even though he caught himself before saying something totally obscene it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know where he was going with that conversation.

" Not for long. I am going back to sleep, I think you two can manage to get us where we're going without any help from me" I say, sitting back against the seat. I watch as Jasper goes to step out of the car to take over at the wheel again.

" Wait, Brody why don't you drive for a while," I suggest and Brody beams at me.

" Finally, my turn at the wheel," he says, hopping into the drivers seat. I grab Jasper's hand as he goes to move again.

" Please stay," I say, and he smiles at me softly. He closes the door and settles back against the seat. I lay down on the seat, pillowing my head in his lap. Though not much has changed between Jasper and I, its when I am with him that I feel safe again. I know that part of it is because what he can do, I know he is using whatever power he possesses to make this easier for me, and I am not ashamed to take every bit of whatever help he can offer. I close my eyes, relax instantly the moment he starts running his fingers through my hair.

" Wait there has to be some sort of mistake, there was supposed to be two rooms booked, one for Jasper Hale and Brody Mitchell, and the other for Ana Benson," Jasper says, his voice annoyed. The woman behind the counter smiles a generic sympathetic smile making me want to smack her.

" I understand that sir, but check in is at noon, after that time you run the risk of losing a room, luckily for you, you only lost one of your rooms," she says in a high pitched nasally tone that makes me cringe.

" Fine, whatever. We will take what we can get. See you guys I told you, if you would have just gotten over your stupid male ego's and stopped and asked for directions like I told you too, we wouldn't have gotten so lost and we wouldn't have to be sharing a damn room," I growl at the boys, before snatching the keys from the woman's hand. I stalk to the elevators pushing the up button, tapping my foot as I wait for the elevator to come.

" Ana," Jasper starts saying.

" Ah, I don't want to hear it. You guys wouldn't listen to me, and now I am stuck sharing a room with you," I say, storming into the elevator. I walk into the room that I will be sharing with Jasper and Brody for three very long days and realize quickly there is a huge problem. There is one bed.

" Perfect, it just gets better and better," I say, dropping my bags on the bed.

" Damn," Brody says, looking at the bed and me.

" Don't even think about it buddy. You two got us into this mess, you guys can sleep on the floor. Now the first show starts in exactly an hour, so I am going to shower and get ready, if you know what is good for you, you will not bother me," I say, grabbing my duffel bag and walking into the bathroom shutting and locking the door behind me. Okay so maybe I was a little too hard on them, but it was their own faults. If they would have just listened to me, a six hour drive wouldn't have turned into an almost twelve hour one. Yes, almost twelve hours of driving aimlessly around Oregon because they both swore up and down they knew where they were going. Stupid Y chromosomes. I snap on the water to the shower and undress quickly. An hour to get ready for a night of clubs and talking to bands, I will need a damn miracle worker to pull this off.

The club we are sitting in is definitely my type of atmosphere. Very laid back, comforting almost. I sip my sprite and listen to the first band that has the stage. There good, no that's an understatement they are amazing.

" Jasper, we have to talk to this band," I say, and he nods in approval.

" I think your right, they have an amazing sound to them," Jasper says, scribbling something on his napkin.

" They aren't that great," Brody grumbles from his spot next to Jasper.

" Are you kidding me? There sound is awesome, and the lead singer is cute as hell, they are exactly what we are looking for," I say, looking at him. I don't know what has gotten into Brody, but ever since we set foot in this club all he has been doing is grumbling and pouting. I cant help but wonder if perhaps him and Jasper shared some words when I wasn't around. I think over this while the next few bands play, distracting me from my job.

" Ana," Jasper says shaking my shoulder.

" What?" I ask blinking out of my dazed state.

" The shows over, I have a few notes. I'm thinking we should go talk to the first band while we get the chance," he says helping me from my seat.

" Right," I say, following behind him, Brody trailing behind, his mood no better. I don't know why, but something inside of me tells me that a storm is coming, and I cant quiet place my finger on it. I walk through the door that Jasper holds open for me and smile when he places a hand on the small of my back guiding me in the right direction.

" Hey, you arent allowed back here," a huge guy in a white shirt says glaring at us. I shrink back slightly, and cringe at his size. He is bigger than Emmett, like if Emmett were here he would look child size compared to this guy.

" Actually we are," Jasper says, pulling the badge from around his neck. I copy his movement and immediately the guys face relaxes.

" Sorry about that. We have been having problems lately, with people sneaking back here. I'm Gabe, if you need anything, call on me," he says, opening the door for us. I smile at him. " Especially you sugar," he adds with a wink. I giggle at that and walk through the door.

" Geeze Ana, we got back here, didn't have to flirt with the guy," Brody hisses from behind me. I roll my eyes, and knock on the bands door.

" Why don't you lay off her Brody," Jasper growls out and I smile when the door opens.

" Can I help you," the guy who answers asks. I smile at him, immediately recognizing him as the lead singer. I smile at him.

" No, but we can help you," I say, pushing past him into the room. " We are with Twilight Hour record label. We are relatively new, but we know our stuff, and I have to say what I heard from you guys tonight was, astonishing."

" That was amazing. You seriously have such a head for this business Ana," Jasper says laughing as I skip out of the club. For barely being able to sleep the last three days now, I feel weightless and happy.

" Thanks," I say, spinning in circles across the parking lot.

" Wow, so she used the power of cleavage to persuade a mediocre band to come record a few songs, lets give her a cookie," Brody says and I stop mid circle and stare at him dumbfounded.

" What did you just say?" Jasper asks glaring at Brody coldly.

" You heard me Hale. You act like just because she acts like a slut to get what she wants that she did something remarkable," Brody spits and I can feel the blood drain from my face. What the hell has gotten into him.

" You better shut your mouth Brody," Jasper says, stepping closer to him.

" What are you going to do Hale? Hit me?" Brody asks and I stand frozen, watching them. I quickly snap out of it and push between them.

" Knock it off, okay. Brody I don't know what the hell your problem is, but you need to shut your mouth," I say, and that's when I notice it. The same gleam in his eyes that was there the night he attacked me outside of work. " Your high aren't you? Brody what are you doing? You were doing so good."

" As if you care. You are such a tease Ana. You drop into my life, play this sob story because Jasper doesn't love you, lead me on," Brody starts rambling and I step back when I notice he is bunching his fists.

" Brody, you know I never led you on," I say, and he swings out blindly at Jasper, but in his drug induced rage he misses hitting me in the face. Stars explode in front of my eyes as I stumble and fall flat on my butt. I hold my face tears streaming when I notice Jasper and Brody are in a knock out, drag out brawl. I get to my feet slowly and grab Jasper when I have an opening.

" Jasper stop, he is higher than a kite, and he can do some real damage," I say pulling him as hard as I can, listening as he pants, trying to catch his breath.

" What's going on out here?" a gruff voice asks, and I immediately recognize Gabe, the security guard.

" You need to call the police," Jasper says, standing in front of me as Brody paces back and forth shooting menacing looks at us both.

" Jasper no, he just," Jasper cuts me off with one dark glare.

" What the hell happened to her?" Gabe asks, and I smile nervously.

" He happened," Jasper says wrapping an arm around me.

" Seriously Jasper I can speak for myself," I say, and grit my teeth when Gabe and him start a conversation over me. Men. Cant live with them, wish I could live without them.

" Honestly Jasper, I got hit in the face, I'm not dying," I say as I lay back against the pillows he propped up for me. He chuckles lightly and sits next to me, handing me a bag of ice.

" Just shut up and let me take care of this. How long have you known that Brody has a problem?" Jasper asks, moving my hair away from my face to look at the damage that has been done.

" Not even a week. The day that we found out about this trip, he came to talk to me. Told me he was getting help, that he changed. I cant help but to feel a bit sorry for him," I say, wincing at Jasper's light touch to my face.

" This is going to be bad come morning," Jasper murmurs looking at me.

" Jasper," I say, leaning up lifting my face to his.

" Ana, wait," he says and I kiss him, instantly silencing him. I don't know what it is, or why I did it. What I know is that no matter how much I deny it to everyone else, I am not over Jasper, I never will be, and maybe I am playing a dangerous game with my heart, but its mine to play with as I see fit.


	34. Chapter 34: Suddenly Everything

**Author's Note: Greetings fellow fanfictioners *erm I think thats a word, if not I just made it one* Hope all is well with everyone. I still dont own twilight or the characters, though in my head Jasper does belong to me, haha. Amyways, here is the long awaited JADE POV! I hope you all enjoy it. So as a side note, I have made a video to go along with this story, though, I have been having some trouble getting it posted, so just keep an eye out for updates on it! Onward we march to Chapter 34 of ICFY. Read/Enjoy/Review!!!**

**Chapter 34: Suddenly Everything Has Changed**

"_**If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough."-Amy Landers**_

**Jade's POV**

To say that the last few days have been pure insanity is nothing short of an understatement. Even now as I lay in the warmth of Edward's arms my mind wont be quiet. I feel bad for Alice, and even worse for Ana. Funny how that should work. Alice loses her boyfriend in a horrific manner and yet I feel worse for my best friend. I roll over with a groan and see Edward sleeping, finally. Dark shadows under his eyes, the only evidence of the stress that has been put upon all of us over the last few days. I slide out of bed hoping that my movements don't wake him, and I thank whatever lucky stars that I have left that he stays sleeping, undisturbed by my stealth like exit from the bed. I walk into the bathroom closing the door silently behind me, and pull out my phone. I know I shouldn't be calling Ana this early. She hasn't been sleeping, and what little sleep she has been getting has been riddled with nightmares from the accident. I dial her number and listen as her phone rings and smile slightly to myself when her sleep filled voice answers after the third ring.

" Hey, sorry to be calling you so early. Its just the only chance that I would have to call, full schedule today. Anyways, how's the trip going?" I ask, sliding onto the bathroom counter.

" It hit a few snags, but its going okay," Ana answers, her voice immediately awake. Another thing I have envied about my best friend is she can go from zero to sixty in no time flat, unlike me. It takes me at least half of the day to feel like I am somewhat functional.

" What kind of snags?" I ask feeling somewhat worried.

" Hold on, I don't want to wake Jasper," she says and I can hear a slight rustling around before a short stream of curses flow from her mouth. " Sorry I dropped the phone. Anyways, snags. Well lets see, a six hour road trip turned into a twelve hour one, because both Jasper and Brody were to stubborn to stop and ask for directions. We found one good band though, which is pretty awesome. Though Brody would say otherwise, he went crazy Jade you wouldn't believe it. He's using again, and he and Jasper got into a huge fight in the middle of the parking lot of the club last night."

" Wait Jasper and Brody got into a fight again? Is Jasper okay?" I ask, swinging my legs back and forth.

" Yeah he's fine, I'm the one with the shiner, oh shit," she says, and I can feel the anger bubbling inside of me.

" What do you mean you're the one with the shiner?" I ask, my voice raising with every word that I say.

" Well see, uh, I was trying to break up the fight. Brody swung at Jasper, missed by a country mile, and bam, black eye for Ana," she says, and I can tell that she is trying to make light of the situation for my sake.

" Are you all right?" I ask, trying my hardest to stay calm.

" Yes, I'm fine. Anyways, Brody got arrested, so I don't know what is going to happen to him, and given the circumstances, Jasper talked to his mom when we got back, and we are cutting the trip short, so as soon as he wakes up and we check out of here, we will be on our way back," she says, and I smile at the thought of having my best friend back sooner than expected.

" Well, that's good at least. So besides Brody being psychotic, anything else interesting happen?" I ask genuinely curious. There is a long pause from the other side of the line, so long in fact that I look at my phone to see if maybe the call was dropped. " Hello Ana?"

" Oh interesting, uhm, no nothing interesting," she says in a rushed tone and I know immediately that she is lying.

" Nice try, spill it," I say, and I hear her take a deep breath.

" Okay, so you know a lot has happened. And lets face it, as much as I try and say that I am over Jasper we both know that I'm not," she starts saying and already I know what happened. They slept together. That bastard. I know that I shouldn't think so poorly of Jasper, especially since my best friend is in love with him, but he should know better. He knows what Ana feels, so he should stay as far away as possible and yet he doesn't. reason argues that they are consenting adults, but reason be damned that's my best friend and I wont stand by and see her hurt again.

" Damn it Ana, you guys slept together didn't you?" I ask my voice more accusatory than intended.

" Yes," she says breathlessly, " I don't regret it though. I know I'm being dumb, I know what Jasper said, I know that Jasper chose to walk away. What harm can it do to be with him that way, I will take that over nothing at all." I roll my eyes and glare at the wall.

" Your being so stupid about this Annalisa," I say anger boiling inside of me.

" I didn't ask for your opinion Jade. I don't expect you to understand, you have all that you want, so I don't expect you to be able to grasp the gravity of the decison I am making for myself. I love him, and if sleeping with him and having just those few moments with him is all that I can have, then I am going to take it," she says back her voice hot with anger.

" Fine, you don't want my opinion then don't come crying to me the next time he hurts you," I say hotly hanging up the phone. I regret it immediately. Honestly I don't know what came over me. She was right, I knew that. She was allowed to make her own decisions even if I think that they are the wrong ones. Oh how I wish Jasper was here right now, one so that I could shake him and make him realize that one he is being stupid for denying not only Ana, but himself of a wonderful relationship, and two, so that I could punch him in the face for using Ana as some sort of second rate friend with benefits. I groan closing my eyes, today was going to be a bad day.

Bad day didn't begin to describe the hellish day I was subjected too. First it was raining, second it was freezing cold outside, and thirdly the car decided to not want to start on my home from work. That's why I am here, standing outside of the lab, shivering and wet, waiting for Edward to pick me up. I look at my phone for the millionth time wishing that I would see some sort of message from Ana. Of course there wasn't anything, and there wouldn't be, because we are both too stubborn. I feel a small ray of relief when I see Edward approaching in Emmett's jeep, and I cant help but to laugh at him. He looks ridiculous behind the wheel. It is definitely only a car that Emmett looks right driving. I hop into the jeep thankful for the shelter from the rain.

" What took you so long?" I ask, shaking the water from my hair.

" Massive accident, oh and Ana's home," he says nonchalantly as he pulls out. Great, so now I have to face the hell storm that's coming my way after having such a crappy day. Wonderful. It just keeps getting better and better.

" Hey, you okay?" Edward asks, reaching over to hold my hand. In that instant for at least this moment it is all okay. It still astonishes me that he can make things better for me so easily.

" Yeah I'm fine. Just me and Ana had a stupid fight earlier when I called her," I say, laying back against the seat.

" I see, and what was it about?" he asks, sliding his thumb against my hand.

" What do you think? Her and Jasper slept together last night, and she thinks its okay. I mean I know that she loves him, and I know that he loves her, but I don't think that she realizes that it isn't just sex, at least not for her," I say, looking out of the window watching the rain fall.

" You think its just sex for Jasper?" he asks, his tone almost offended.

" Yes, I do. I don't think that Jasper is ready to fully admit that he wants to be with Ana, and I think that he is using sex to fill in whatever void it is that he has," I say sitting up in my seat to look at him.

" I know that Jasper hasn't exactly been perfect with Ana, but you think too little of him," Edward says, and I look at him astonished.

" Back up a second. Jasper has done nothing but play emotional tug of war with Ana for the last few months and you expect me to have him on some sort of, pedestal of morality? Especially since I know that he is sleeping with her, but wont commit to her?" I ask enraged by what Edward was saying.

" Not at all, I just wish that you weren't so one sided in this whole thing. Don't you think that Ana is old enough to make her own decisions? Including who she chooses to sleep with? I also know that Ana knows that she is playing a dangerous game with her heart, she also knows its her choice to make no one else's," he says calmly. I sit stumped, he always manages to turn things around. Anything that I find to be a huge problem, he makes minute.

" Ugh, your right, as always. Damn it," I say, as we pull into the drive way of the house. He just laughs as we dash from the car into the shelter of the house.

I open the door and find everyone sitting around the living room as if they were waiting for us. Including a red eyed and exhausted Alice.

" Hello," I say, and Ana eyes me cautiously.

" Hey, there you guys are. Family meeting," Rosalie says, and I sit down next to Ana.

" Okay," I say and I wait for someone to talk.

" You guys know that the last few days have been hard," Alice says choking up slightly and Ana immediately gets up and wraps her arm around her. Its when Alice lifts her hand to hold Ana's that I see their connection. What they went through together has changed their tentative friendship to a bond that no one here will ever be able to fully understand. " I have spent the last two nights in the apartment and realized that I cant stay there. I want to come stay here."

" Okay, when do you want to move in, tonight?" I ask, its only a given that Alice should come back here. She needs the people that care about her the most to help her through this.

" I don't know, I cant wrap my head around it. There is just so much, funeral arrangements and classes and," Alice says her voice breaking until she is sobbing as she clings to Ana. It breaks my heart to see the once bouncy and energetic Alice so down, so dead inside. I feel tears well inside of me, and look around as silence falls upon us all. No one speaks, and I doubt anyone of us are breathing.

" Look, Alice, why don't you stay here, and some of us will get to your apartment, and start packing for you. You don't have to worry about any of it, we'll take care of it," I say, and I get to my feet.

" Yeah, we'll take care of all of it sis," Emmett says, resting a hand on both Alice and Ana.

An hour later I find myself sitting on the floor of Alice's apartment sorting through things. We decided that it would work best if Rosalie and Jasper stayed with Alice at the house, and Edward, Emmett, Ana, and myself would pack up the apartment.

" You know, I don't know how we are going to get through all of this in one night," Emmett says from the doorway. I look up at him and smile softly.

" With a lot of coffee, and because we know that the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can have Alice at home where she belongs," Edward says, carrying a box from the room.

" Speaking of coffee, I'm going to make a run to the store, anyone need anything?" Ana asks, standing up shaking out her legs. Emmett writes down a list and Ana groans.

" I'll go with you," I say, and she just nods at me. I follow her out of the apartment and we get half way to Jasper's car, which he easily gave to Ana to borrow while ours is out of commission, before I stop and hug Ana.

" I'm sorry, I should have never," I start saying and Ana cries as she hugs me back.

" Shut up. You don't have to apologize, it isn't the first fight we have been in, and I doubt it will be the last. It wasn't until I saw Alice again that I remembered how pointless fighting is, especially when its with someone you care about. You never know when they are going to be gone," she says, wiping her sleeve under her eyes.

" I know," I say, walking arm and arm with her to the car. " Do you need me to drive?"

" No, its okay. I was so pissed this morning after our fight that I all but dragged Jasper out of bed, and refused to let him drive," Ana says smiling faintly as she starts the car. " Well that's something at least," I murmur. She was right. What she said about fighting with the people that you care about. It all seems pointless when they can be gone in the blink of an eye.


	35. Chapter 35: Forgive Me My Weakness

**Author's Note: Hello all! Here we go again, as always just Amber here, though I wish that I could stake claim on the beauty that is Twilight and its characters, especially Jasper, mmm. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, a little bit of drama, some humor, craziness all around. So buckle up kids, and enjoy Chapter35! As Always read/enjoy/review!**

**Chapter 35: Forgive Me My Weakness**

" _Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favoring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy,"- Marguerite De Valois_

One hundred and one. That is the exact number of distinct patterns that I can find on my ceiling. I know I should be sleeping. I cant. I know that in exactly four hours I have first of many mid-terms before winter break starts, but its hard to sleep when you have not only your nightmares, but a friends nightmares chasing you. I roll over and stare through the darkness of the room to Alice. I hear her whimper and know that she is having as restless of a sleep that I was before I woke.

" Alice," I whisper, and wait to hear her response.

" Sorry," comes her tiny voice. I grimace to myself. She apologizes too much these days. I crawl out of bed and shuffle to hers.

" Scoot over," I say, and I listen as her sheets rustle. I lay next to her, contemplating what to say.

" Thank you," Alice says suddenly.

" For what?" I ask, toying with my fingers.

" Everything. You don't coddle me. You just comfort. I don't know, maybe it sounds dumb, but I feel closer to you than anyone else right now, and I just want to say thanks," she says, her voice small.

" You don't have to thank me," I say, rolling over to look at her.

" Can I ask you a question?" she asks, and in reply I click on her bedside lamp, sitting up to look at her.

" Of course you can," I say, laying my head on my knee's looking at her.

" Do you think I will ever be okay again?" she asks, her swollen and hollow eyes filling with fresh tears. I sit in silence for a minute, contemplating how to answer her question. Who am I, after all, to answer such a thing?

" I think you will be okay one day, yeah. Do I think you will ever forget, no. What you went through Alice, no one should ever have to go through. I don't know what I would do if," I stop myself at the thought of anyone I love so much being hurt. " All I know is that sometimes things happen and it doesn't make sense. When something like this happens, it never makes any sense, no amount of words, or people telling you it will get easier, will ever make it okay," I say, tears thickening my throat.

" I just don't know Ana, its like there have been times in the last week when I have wanted to smile, or laugh, and I stop because I think of him, and I think, I cant laugh or be happy because Mike is gone," she says covering her face with her hands crying silently.

" Listen to me. Alice, listen," I say pulling her hands down to look at me. " It is all right for you to be happy, and it is all right for you too smile. Do you think that wherever Mike is that he is looking at you hoping that you cry for him for the rest of your life? Hell no! He fell in love with the hyper, crazy, random, and over the top Alice that we all love," I say sternly.

" I know, I know. In my head I know that, but my heart," she says laying her hand over her heart.

" Yeah, the heart can always undermine what your head tells you, believe me I know," I say, hugging her tightly.

I walk into the house dragging my feet. 'Stupid midterms, stupid school, stupid everything,' I think to myself as I drop onto the couch. I don't even want to get up, but I know that I need to get studying for tomorrow, another long day of midterms. I shudder to think of what the rest of the week is going to be like. I pick up my bag and start heading upstairs humming to myself, when I notice the bathroom door is open slightly and the light is on. 'I wonder who left the light on,' I think pushing the door open. My heart freezes mid beat when I see what is before me. Alice and Jasper both clad in towels wrapped around each other. That wasn't the worst part of what I am seeing, no the worst part is the way Jasper is kissing her. I know that kiss. I have felt it, held it inside of me for months, as if it were the only thing that has kept me sane. You would think, with all of the other heartbreaking moments I have been through due to one Jasper Hale that I would be prepared, but this, this was the ultimate betrayal. Not only was it the man that I love, but it was also someone that I have come to love like a sister that have expertly ripped my heart from my chest. I back away slowly not realizing that my breath has become heavy almost ripping from my chest, until Jasper looks up at me over Alice's slim shoulder.

" Ana," Jasper says, and Alice looks over her shoulder a look of concern and guilt. I back away slowly, almost stumbling as I hit the stairs. I drop to the bottom stair fumbling through my bag for my car keys, remembering that I am still using Jasper's. I drop the keys back in my bag and decide to walk. I walk out of the front door, with Jasper's voice calling after.

**Jasper's POV**

Life has a funny way of working. For months before Ana, I prayed for some sort of miracle to make Alice come back. Any thing would do. Whatever means. I never imagined that she would come back, and definitely not because Mike died. I run my hands through my hair as I step out of the shower. I was in one hell of a situation. Here I am living under the same roof as my ex, and the girl that I am now head over heels in love with. I ruined that though, because I couldn't get over my pride, no I couldn't get over my fears. I wipe a hand over the steam filled mirror and look at myself. 'What the hell is your problem?' I ask myself shaking my head. I look around for the q-tips and realize I'm fresh out. Oh well, I can steal a few from Ana's bathroom, don't think she will notice they are gone. I walk from my room and notice that the door to the bathroom is closed, a small crying sound coming from the other side of the door. I don't bother with knocking, I just walk right in thinking that I am going to find Ana, but instead I find Alice, sitting on the bathroom floor, hugging a shirt tightly to her chest. She looks up at me with red rimmed eyes, and my heart breaks. I long to comfort her, but not in the way you may be thinking. I long to comfort her because I can feel her turmoil, her heartache, her guilt.

" Sorry," I whisper, and she just shakes her head.

" Please, stay," Alice whispers and I fight an internal war. I shut the door partly behind me and come to sit next to her. Its silent for a while, just her steady crying echoing off of the walls.

" I can take this away Alice, even if for a little bit," I say, and she looks at me with the eyes that I used to get lost in.

" I don't deserve to have it taken away. Its all my fault Jasper. I could have seen it, I could have stopped it from happening, but I had to be dumb. I had to make that stupid rule, this is all of my fault. It's my fault he is dead, and its my fault that his mother had to bury her son," she says, breaking down into uncontrollable sobs. I grab her into a hug quickly, pulling her into my lap. I push whatever comfort I can summon into her, and her crying slows.

" I never want to hear you say that again, this wasn't your fault," I say, pressing my lips to her hair. " What happened was an accident, and just because you have the ability to see the things that are going to happen, doesn't always mean you can stop everything that is going to happen from happening." She sniffles into my shoulder and I tighten my hold on her. I know that I cannot offer her much more than a few minutes of peace, but I will give what I can. I don't know how much time passes until Alice pulls out of my arms and gets to her feet.

" Thanks," she says, a small smile on her lips, and an echo of the old Alice makes itself known.

" Anytime, and I mean it," I say, hugging her. She circles her arms around my neck and I smile knowing that she has hit a turning point, and Alice is a fighter, so it wont be long before she is back to herself.

" I mean it Jasper, thank you," she says pulling back slightly to look up at me. I don't even realize what is happening until her lips are pressed to mine. I freeze immediately before sinking in. A voice in my head screaming finally, while my heart wars against me, and only one word comes to mind. Ana. I pull away and open my eyes slowly looking over Alice's shoulder into the shocked and hurt eyes of Ana.

" Ana," I say, releasing my hold on Alice, stepping back. I look down quickly at Alice and her eyes are round with guilt as she looks over her shoulder. I want to go to her as she backs away slowly and I make my way to the door just in time to see her stumbling down the stairs and through the front door all the time I call after her and she runs away, cant say that I blame her.

" Jasper please talk to me," Alice says, her voice small from my bedroom door.

" What is there to say? What little chance that I had with Ana, is gone now. What was that about anyways?" I ask sitting up on my bed to look at her. Alice wrings her hands nervously as she walks into my room. She paces back and forth in front of me.

" I don't know. I guess I just wanted to see if I could feel anything but pain," she says, " I know I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry. I didn't feel anything, just to clear that up, it was almost like kissing my brother."

" Oh yeah that makes it all better. Doesn't matter now, because there is no way that I am going to be able to make this one right," I say flinging myself back onto my bed.

" Sure you can. I've seen it, you and Ana are meant to be together. It will work out somehow," she says, sitting next to me.

" I sincerely hope your right," I say, covering my eyes with my arm.

**Ana's POV **

I walk back to the house and sigh when I realize that Jade still isn't home. Not that it matters, she warned me that he would hurt me again. God I hate it when she is right. I open the front door and see that the coast is clear as I push the door open. I climb the stairs silently and push open the door to my room. No sign of Alice. Wonder where she is, on second thought I don't. Bad enough to see her and Jasper kissing, even worse thinking of what else they are probably doing together. I change into something dry and warm and start dragging a towel over my wet hair when I hear the bedroom door open. I look over to see Alice standing just inside of the door and I turn back around quickly. Funny thing is, I'm not angry with her. Just hurt. She broke up with him after all, she said she saw him with me, saw that they weren't meant to be together. Yet she is pushing her way right back into his life, and what's worse, right back into his heart.

" Hey," Alice says, walking into the room closing the door behind her. I stay silent as I pull my hair back into a pony tail. " Listen, Ana, I don't blame you if you hate me, but please, just let me explain." I turn around and look at her.

" I don't hate you Alice. I'm just, never mind. Congratulations. I hope you and Jasper are happier the second time around," I say, picking up the books that I need pushing past her. I jog down the stairs picking up my discarded back pack and head into the kitchen. Maybe if I drown myself in studying, I will forget that my heart is breaking. An hour into my self induced study slash pity party everyone is home. Jade and Edward sit across from me talking over their books and notes, while Emmett sings at the top of his lungs from the next room. My head is pounding and I am trying to keep a tight hold on my anger.

" Hello Ana, did you hear a word I just said?" Jade asks, and I look up at her.

" What? Sorry no I didn't," I say, sitting back to look at her.

" Geeze what's gotten into you?" she asks and I just shake my head. " Sorry just all of this studying has me distracted," I say and she believes me.

" Anyways, I was saying. Edward and I are going Christmas shopping this weekend after midterms are over. Want to come with?" she asks, and I smile at her slightly.

" Yeah sure," I say, turning back to my books. The voices keep growing. Around me, and in my own head. Though the latter of the two is so much louder. 'You know they are probably sleeping together? You meant nothing to him, and you gave yourself to him, just like a slut,' I slam my book shut causing Jade to jump.

" WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?" I yell and everyone looks at me shocked. I grab my books and my bag from the table pushing away before anyone has the time to react. I race up to my room and burst through the door catching an unsuspecting Alice off guard.

" Jesus you scared me. Ana," Alice starts saying.

" Get out," I hiss through my teeth.

" Ana please, just let me," she starts saying and I point to the door.

" Get the hell out Alice, NOW," I growl out and she looks at me. For a moment I think she is going to leave peacefully, but then a familiar spark glints her eyes.

" No, this is my room too," she says, standing up from her bed.

" Ask me how much I care right now. Just get the hell out," I say, throwing my stuff to the floor. My whole body shakes with anger, and I have to hold myself back from hitting her.

" What the hell is going on?" Edward asks and I turn to see everyone standing just outside of the room.

" Why don't you tell them Alice? Tell them what's going on? Tell them all about how you have cried and I have been there, holding your hand, telling you I will help you through all of this. And tell them how you betrayed me," I say, tears of anger and disgust building up inside of me.

" What is she talking about Alice?" Emmett asks, and Alice stares at everyone.

" Ana saw me kissing Jasper earlier today," she whispers out and I can hear the groans and gasps behind me.

" Alice what were you thinking?" Rosalie asks.

" I was thinking that I wanted to feel anything, anything other than the pain and guilt that I have been feeling for so long now," she says, " I know it was dumb, and it shouldn't have happened. And I'm sorry Ana, so very sorry."

" Whatever. Look I know that you have been through hell, and I know that its hard on you every single day. You have to remember you weren't the only one who saw what you saw, I was there too. I wake up with nightmares and I wake up feeling scared and hollow, and you took away the one thing, the one person that could make it all okay again," I say, tears falling down my face.

" I didn't mean to. Damn it Ana, it was a stupid mistake, that I would take back if I could, but I cant," she says wrapping her arms around herself.

" You know what I don't care. Its like I said earlier congratulations, hopefully you guys can make it work the second time around. I am done trying with him," I say, pushing past everyone.

I get half way down the stairs before the tears take over. Someone grabs me, arms wrapped tightly and I look up to see Jade. She leads me to her and Edwards room and as soon as the door is closed I collapse to the floor crying.

" Ana, honey," Jade coos and I rock back and forth arms wrapped tightly around myself as if that will stop me from breaking apart.

" You were right. I was so stupid. I gave him everything I had, including my virginity. And for what Jade? For what?" I ask screaming through the pain of my own words. She doesn't say anything she just holds me, letting me ride out the torrent of pain. The time passes and finally I am all cried out. I sit up looking through puffy eyes at Jade.

" You can say you told me so now," I say, pulling my knees to my chest.

" I could, but then that would make me a bigger bitch than I really am. You love him Ana, I know it, hell everyone knows it. Look, I don't think Alice meant anything by it, I think she just feels so lost, and confused," she says, and I nod.

" I know. I'm not mad at her, I understand. Its Jasper. What's his excuse?" I ask, looking at her seriously.

" I don't know," she says simply.

" Well, I have an apology to make," I say getting to my feet.

" Want me to come?" she asks.

" No this is better off done alone," I say. I get to the door and stop to look at Jade. " Thanks."

" For what?" she asks perplexed.

" Everything."

I walk up the stairs slowly and open my bedroom door. Alice sits on her bed, facing the window clutching her pillow. I shut the door quietly behind me, leaning against it.

" Hey," I say, and she turn her head slowly to look at me.

" Hey," Alice echoes back. I walk towards her bed slowly, sitting on the edge.

" Look, I'm sorry. I know that your dealing with a lot and I shouldn't have gone off on you the way that I did. Its just, I have been trying to keep this brave face up, for everyone, especially you, and I just sort of snapped," I say, playing with my ring.

" I know. You're the strongest person that I know Ana. I somehow forgot that you saw it too, that your just as haunted by this as I am. I need you to know something Ana. I kissed Jasper. He didn't start it I did. He found me in the bathroom, clutching one of Mike's shirts, and he was just being a good friend," she says, and I close my eyes and take a steadying breath. That was something at least, but not much.

" But he kissed you back Alice, and it may not seem like a big deal to you, or to anyone else, but it means a lot to me," I say, laying back against the bed.

" Ana, Jasper is stupidly in love with you," Alice says, and I look at her.

" Did you know that I asked him to make a choice in California? When he came to see me," I say, and she shakes her head. " He said no."

" What an idiot," she says laying back next to me.

" So did you feel anything?" I ask, and Alice looks at me confused for a moment before a knowing light comes in her eyes.

" Yeah. Weird. It was kind of like kissing my brother," she says, and I burst out in unexpected laughter and Alice laughs also, and we laugh until we cant breath, and for the first time in days, everything feels like it will be okay again.


	36. Chapter 36: Better Left Unsaid

**Author's Note: Still I dont own Twilight sadly *sniffles* Sorry that its been so long since the last update....I am not feeling the greatest so I will probably be posting more untl I get better since I have all these new ideas hehe! Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Read, Enjoy, and Review!**

**Chapter 36: Better Left Unsaid**

" _Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart."-Quoted from One Tree Hill, season 5 episode 13._

I walk excitedly from my final class. Mid-terms are finally over and I feel pretty good about it. Despite all of the distractions I have run into over the last few months, Jasper being the big one, I think I pulled this one off. Walking through the courtyard I stop and stare in amazement when big puffy snowflakes start falling. My first white Christmas ever, and I am so excited. Though the phone call to my mom telling her that I wouldn't be coming home for Christmas was heartbreaking, I think she understood, at least I hope she did.

" Hey you," Jade says, slinging her arm around my shoulder carelessly.

" Hey," I say back smiling.

" How crazy is this snow?" she asks, and I smile.

" I love it," I say, skipping forward giggling like a kid set free in a candy shop. Unfortunately my gracefulness is slim to none and I slip and fall landing hard on my bum. I start laughing hysterically.

" You okay?" someone asks and I look up through streaming eyes to see Jasper holding his hand out to mine. I take it hesitantly and let him help me to my feet.

" Yeah. Got a little too over excited," I say prying my fingers from his wiping my hand on the back of my damp jeans.

" So what do you girls have planned now that break has officially begun?" Jasper asks falling in step with us.

" Christmas shopping," Jade says with a groan. I squeal excitedly. If there is one thing in this world that I love its Christmas, but what I love even more is shopping for presents and all the pomp and circumstance that goes with it.

" Ahh, yes, Rosalie said something about that," Jasper says off-handedly. I look at him for a moment and try and read what's behind his eyes, but like always he is well guarded.

" Can't I just give coupons or something?" Jade asks, walking slower.

" Coupons?" I ask stopping dead in my tracks. " Your kidding right?"

" No," she says seriously.

" How we are friends I will never understand, I have yet to meet someone who has such an aversion to shopping as you," I say linking my arms with her laughing as we make our way home.

" Okay, so I had a great idea that I wanted to run by you guys," Rosalie says from the couch. I smile as I pull my knees up to my chest, snuggling deeply into my sweater. I always love Rosalie's ideas, she has yet to have a bad one.

" Okay, so what is it?" Alice asks, looking blandly at the wall.

" Well its kind of a multi-step idea. First, for a gift for my parents, and the Cullen's. Well, actually I already bought the present, you all just have to hand over the money," Rosalie says, and I look up shaking myself from my day dreams.

" What did you get them?" I ask curiously.

" Well I know that my parents, as well as Carlisle and Esme have been wanting to go back to Paris, so I went ahead and booked them a two week trip, and before anyone asks about how I managed to schedule it without them knowing, don't bother. A girl never tells all of her secrets," she answers, smirking to herself.

" That's my baby," Emmett says proudly pulling her into a bone crushing, breath taking kiss. I smile at them, and turn my head waiting to hear the rest of what Rosalie has to say.

" Okay you two, can you save sucking each other's faces off for later?" Alice asks, and Emmett and Rosalie pull away from each other, smiling sheepishly.

" Sorry, where was I? Oh right, so I was thinking since we are sending our respective and honorary parents off for the holiday, that maybe we spend the break in Forks. I mean the Cullen House is surely big enough, and that way we give these two California girls a white Christmas they will never forget," Rosalie says and I have to say that I am quiet excited about the plan.

" Well that's all fine and dandy Rose, but do you honestly think Mom and Dad are going to let us use the house for the holiday? Especially after what happened the last time?" Edward asks, sounding slightly annoyed.

" Oh come on that was years ago, and I am sure that they will be more than willing once they have the tickets for Paris in their hands," she says sounding just as annoyed that not everyone is falling right into line with her idea.

" Wait I have to know, what happened years ago?" Jade asks a mischievous light in her eyes.

" Nothing," everyone in the room save for me and Jade, answers in unison.

" Come on now we have to know," I say my curiosity peaked.

" We promised to never speak a word of that night," Emmett says glowing red. I stare in disbelief. I have seen Emmett be everything but embarrassed.

" Aww come on Emmy you have to tell me. How many embarrassing stories have you heard about me?" I ask pouting slightly, trying my best to look sad and hurt.

" Fine, but I swear this ever comes up again, I will never speak to any of you," Emmett says, running hand over his hair.

" Cross my heart," Jade and I say in unison.

" Okay, so one weekend sophomore year our parents were going out of town, so we decided to throw a party. Only a few friends, that's what it was supposed to be, but of course in high school word travels fast. So about two hundred people show up, and the party is in full swing, when someone decides that a good old game of truth or dare is needed. Well, Jasper, Edward, and I were dared," Emmett trails off turning the brightest shade of red that I have ever seen, and Rosalie and Alice cover their mouths trying to hold back the laughter.

" You three were dared to what? I swear if you guys had to kiss or something I will never kiss you again," Jade says bumping Edward with her shoulder.

" Oh God no, nothing that gross. We were dared to put on our moms underwear," Emmett says signaling to him and Edward.

" Okay what so bad about that?" I ask. I have been dared many a time to put on someone else underwear. You just slip them on over your clothes, prance around, dare done.

" You don't get it, we were dared to wear ONLY her underwear," Jasper adds in, putting emphasis on the Only part. I start laughing hysterically picturing the three of them in Esme's underwear.

" That isn't all," Edward says, and I choke back the laughter.

" Please do tell," I say wiping the tears of sheer laughter from my face.

" What Emmett forgot to add in is that we were all pretty drunk, okay I take that back, we were so drunk I don't even know how we managed to get the underwear on. So we put the clothes on, and start prancing around, dancing to the music, roars of laughter surrounding us, when Jasper here started throwing up all over the place. In turn starting a chain reaction. So Emmett and I start heaving just in time for our parents to walk in, having come home from their weekend away because our dad got called in for an emergency procedure," Edward says, slouching into his seat. Jade and I all but collapse to the floor laughing hysterically at the pure shock that must have been on the elder Cullen's faces when they walked in to see the boys not only wearing women's underwear but puking everywhere too.

" Glad that amuses you all so much," Jasper says grudgingly from his seat.

" It is entertaining, definitely made my day, no my week," I say laughing harder, " Now I know if ever my underwear goes missing its one of you guys that took them."

" Oh ha ha, Ana, ha ha," Emmett says throwing a pillow across the room at me with perfect precision, as it knocks me in the face sending me into an even louder bout of laughter.

" Okay seriously, back to business," Rosalie says, wiping her own eyes, chuckling. " So what I was thinking is that we will do our shopping tomorrow, leave tomorrow night, surprise the Parentals on Sunday, and then the house is ours. Now in this hat," she says pulling a hat from behind her shaking it. " There are all of our names, everyone pick one. That name is the person that you are shopping for, for Sunday. Now this doesn't mean that you cant buy more gifts for Christmas day, this is just so that the parents can see us opening presents before they leave." I swear, Rosalie has to be a genius. She thinks of everything, its ridiculous. I watch as everyone else pulls their slips of paper from the hat. A few people with groans, others with soft smiles on their faces. I get handed the hat next to last, Jasper the only other one not knowing who he was shopping for.

' Please don't be Jasper, anyone but Jasper,' I plead internally and in answer Edward smirks. Damn it, sometimes I forget that he can intrude on my thoughts whenever the whim strikes him. I unfold the paper and groan. Jasper. Damn it. Sometime's I have to wonder if I am cursed.

A soft knock on the door interrupts Alice and me from giggling.

" Come in," I call out and Jade slips through the door closing it softly behind her.

" Hey," Jade whispers, creeping across the floor to join us on Alice's bed.

" Why are you whispering?" I whisper back theatrically.

" Edward didn't want me to come up here. He knows I was coming to find out who you guys drew for this gift exchange thingy," she says still whispering as she climbs over us to secure her spot against the wall. " So, who did you guys get?"

" I got Rosalie," Alice offers up easily smiling.

" I got Emmett," Jade says and it grows quiet. Jade and Alice stare at me expectedly waiting for me to say something.

" What?" I ask, wishing that something else would come up to distract them from this conversation.

" Well, who did you pick?" Jade asks, and I sigh heavily.

" Jasper," I say, groaning when they both laugh at me. " It isn't funny you guys. What am I going to do? I have barely spoken to him lately, and given our history, what in the world am I supposed to buy him?"

" Don't look at me girly this is all on you," Jade says laughing into a pillow.

" Thanks you guys, a big help you two are," I say, groaning as I lay back onto the bed. What do you get for the man that has your heart but doesn't want it?

" Up and at it sleepy heads," Rosalie's sing song voice calls out, waking me from a peaceful sleep. I open my eyes and see Jade's face a breath away from mine. I sit up slowly and look around. Apparently at some point Alice, Jade, and I all managed to fall asleep on the same bed.

" What time is it?" I ask stretching slowly.

" Seven forty five," Rosalie says smiling at me from my bed.

" Why are you waking us up so damn early?" I ask seriously considering laying back down.

" Because we have shopping to do, not to mention wrapping, and packing, all of which we want to try and get done before we leave tonight," she says and I groan at the idea.

" Fine, but you get to wake Jade up," I say, standing on the bed, bracing a hand against the wall as I step over Jade and Alice's sleeping forms.

" What, wait, no," Rosalie sputters, and I grin as I walk from the room ignoring her protests. Cant blame her, I have been responsible for waking Jade up enough in my lifetime to know that it isn't easy or is it fun. Poor Rosalie. Hopefully she comes out of this one alive.

" Ouch, damn it Jade," Rosalie's voice comes from my room and I laugh shutting the bathroom door quietly behind me.

I have been walking this mall for hours, my hands getting increasingly fuller by the second, and yet not one of them is for Jasper. I am in a tough spot. What am I to do? I can get him a present that says 'hey glad that I know you, even though you broke my heart you scummy Y chromosome holder,' or I could get him a gift that speaks of my heart. Either way I lose. Giving him something that isn't personal at all will tell him I don't care anymore although that is far from the truth, but what is the point of giving him something that tells him how I really feel, when not only does he already knows what I feel, but doesn't reciprocate said feelings? Ugh he even has me thinking in ways that confuse me, and they are my own thoughts. I sit on a bench dropping my bags at my feet, placing my head in my hands.

" Ana, you okay?" Emmett's voice makes me jump and I look up at him trying to muster a smile.

" Yeah, well no, just confused," I say as he sits next to me.

" About what?" he asks, looking at me through shining eyes.

" I got Jasper for the gift exchange, and I have no idea what to get him," I say, blushing as I realize how foolish that sounds.

" Well, do you have any sort of ideas?" he asks, and I shake my head.

" On the one hand I am thinking something impersonal, but on the other hand I want to give it one last shot. Get him something that will make him finally realize that I am serious about what I feel for him," I say groaning into my hands.

" Well, I cant tell you what to do Ana, all I can do is offer you some advice. Jasper has always been a hard person to get close to. Not because he wants it to be that way, its more of a self-preservation thing. With his ability he feels too much and its painful for him sometimes. That isn't an excuse, but I have to say this. I have seen the way that he looks at you, especially when he thinks nobody is watching, and he loves you Ana. So if you want my opinion, give it that one last try," he says and I smile slightly. He's right. I have to give it one more chance, I cant give up. Its time to go for what I wish for. I sit contemplating this for a minute when it clicks in my head.

" I got it," I say suddenly excited and rejuvenated by the idea racing through my head.

" You do? Well what is it?" he asks and I just smile standing up grabbing my bags and his hands dragging him with me.

" You'll find out, after all your going to help me," I say dragging him as quickly as I can behind me.

" Come on Ana, lets go," Jade yells impatiently up the stairs. I stuff the last few things that I need into my duffel bag and zip it quickly.

" I'm coming geeze, keep your panties on," I yell back lifting my bag onto my shoulder. Thankfully all of the presents have been packed away in Edwards trunk. I walk slowly down the stairs running the list of things that I have to make sure that I didn't forget anything.

" About time woman," Jade says and I roll my eyes at her.

" Where is everybody?" I ask and Jade gestures to the door.

" Waiting for you," she says opening the door for me. I walk out into the cold December air and shiver.

" Hey wait," Jade says grabbing my elbow to stop me.

" What?" I ask, looking at her.

" You going to be okay, driving with Jasper?" she asks and I smile at her.

" Yeah I'll be okay," I say hugging her quickly.

" Okay, then we will see you there," she says climbing into Edwards car with Alice and Edward behind her.

" The last official road trip of 2008, last one there has to do all the cooking," Emmett yells through the night. I laugh as I throw my bag into the backseat of the Explorer.

" You sure you don't want to drive?" Jasper asks, climbing behind the wheel of my car.

" Yeah. I haven't driven in snow before, so I figure you will have a better handle on it than I will," I say clicking my seat belt in place. I lay my seat all the way back closing my eyes slowly, drifting away into my own thoughts.

" You aren't falling asleep on me already are you?" Jaspers voice intrudes my thoughts and I cant help but to smile slightly.

" Sorry, its been a long day," I say on a yawn.

" I know, I was just hoping that we would get the chance to talk," he says seriously. I sit up instinctively, something inside of me shuddering with fear. Fear that what I am about to hear is going to shatter any hope I have left.

" Well then lets talk," I say pulling my legs up to sit cross legged.

" I never got the chance to apologize for what happened with Alice," he starts saying and I shake my head immediately.

" Don't, its okay. I understand what happened, Alice told me all about it. You have nothing to apologize for, you were just being a good friend," I say running my fingers through my hair.

" I know but Ana you need to know something. I didn't feel anything when she kissed me. Before you, I wished that she would kiss me like that, just one more time, so that I could feel what I used to feel with her, but then you came into the picture and when she kissed me it was nothing," he says and I can feel myself sinking into his words.

" Jasper, please just don't do this," I say, my voice shaking over the words.

" Why? I have to make you understand," he says looking over at me.

" Jasper, drop it," I say turning away from him.

" No, you have to hear me out," he says, his voice frustrated.

" Just stop," I say, my throat thickening with tears.

" Ana," he says his voice soft.

" What more do you want from me Jasper? Do you want me to sit here and listen while you tell me that you love me, but don't want to be with me? Do you want me to tell you that I understand, that its okay? I cant do that. Because I don't understand, and its not okay. How can it be, when I live everyday pretending I'm all right? I have to see you every day, and every time I do see you, I'm reminded that you said no, that you chose to walk away. I should be over it, and I should get over you, and every time that I try to forget about you, its like I cant breathe. Do you know how hard it is to have only one wish in this world and know that, that wish isn't going to come true?" I ask, turning to look at him with tear filled eyes.

" Ana if you would just listen," he starts saying but I shake my head furiously.

" I'm done listening. I'm done trying. I love you Jasper, and nothing is going to change that, but I have to walk away this time, because if I don't, my heart wont make it out of this one," I say, unbuckling my seat belt climbing into the backseat of the car. I lay facing the seat, eyes shut tight as my I-pod blasts music at me, drowning out the pain.

" Ana," someone calls out to me. Its almost a dream like voice, a voice that takes away the pain, and the worry. " Ana, wake up, we're here." I open my eyes slowly, blinking away the haze of sleep, and stare into Jasper's eyes. I sit up slowly and look around, and immediately I am rendered breathless. The beauty of Forks in fall was one thing, but seeing it now, seeing it blanketed in white has cast the small town into somewhat of a fairy tale. I step out of the car and immediately slip, and would have fallen face first into the cold snow had Jasper not caught me in his warm arms.

" Thanks," I say blushing deeply, as he sets me upright on my feet.

" Ana," he says, but the sound of cars pulling up interrupts whatever he is about to say.

" Hey guys how was the ride?" Emmett asks bounding out of the car.

" Great, just great," I say grabbing my bag from the backseat.

" Don't sound so thrilled," Jade says looking at me over Edwards car. I smile at her trying to make it seem real. She flashes a bright smile back at me before I walk into the house. This was going to be one very long Christmas break.


	37. Chapter 37: In The Name Of Love

**Author's Note: Hello all and welcome to the 37th installment of I Can Feel You! I still dont own Twilight or the genius of its characters, however I do own ICFY, Ana, and Jade, and they are pretty awesome! A few short notes. I owe a big THANK YOU to one of my best friends Laycie-Lou for helping me with the gift ideas in this chapter, you are truly awesome Laycie-Lou and ILY! A jade chapter will be coming up very soon I promise :D I also have a request, if anyone stumbles across quotes that they find fitting for this story or some of the characters please let me know :D I love quotes and putting them at the beginning of each chapter. Anyways, on to the newest chapter. Read, Enjoy, and Review!**

**Chapter 37: In The Name Of Love**

_" Albert Camus once wrote, " Blessed are the hearts that can bend. They shall never be broken." But I wonder, if there's no breaking, then there's no healing. And if there is no healing, then there is no learning. And if there is no learning, then there's no struggle. But the struggle is a part of life, so must all hearts be broken?" -Lucas Scott One Tree Hill_

I have been awake staring at the window for hours now, watching the snow falling silently outside, blanketing our world in white. I roll over to look at the clock and see that I have put off getting out of bed long enough. I slide out of the warmth of my borrowed bed and shuffle to the door.

" You okay?" Alice's voice calls out to me from her bed. I turn to look at her, smiling sheepishly.

" Did I wake you?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest.

" No, I didn't sleep much last night. You seemed restless last night, tossed and turned a lot." she says sitting up to look at me.

" Yeah, I'm fine, just," I say trailing off unsure just how much I should confide in her. She scoots over and pats the free space next to her. I walk slowly towards her bed and sit next to her.

" Did something happen with you and Jasper in the car?" she asks, looking at me seriously.

" You could say that," I whisper back to her.

" Well, what happened?" she asks, pulling her knees to her chest.

" He apologized for what I saw, you know, when you kissed him. And he started telling me how he felt nothing, and how he used to wish that you would kiss him like that just one more time, before I came into the picture. He was well on his way to spilling his guts out to me Alice, but I stopped him. I refused to listen to it," I say, blinking my eyes rapidly.

" Why?" she asks, her voice filled with honest curiosity.

" Because, it tore me apart for him to tell me that he loved me but didn't want to be with me. I cant go through that again," I say, letting the tears come. There is one thing I have learned in life, no point in holding back tears, when they are inevitable.

" Then why did you get him what you got him for the gift exchange?" she asks, smirking slightly.

" How do you know what I got him? Did Emmett run his mouth, I swear that if he did," I start saying but Alice's outburst of laughter catches me off guard.

" You forget that I can see things Ana," she says laughing hysterically.

" Oh yeah huh?" I say laughing with her.

" Listen Ana, I know that I am the last person to be giving relationship advice when it comes to Jasper. What I can tell you is that he does love you, he just has to have the chance to come around," she says wrapping her arms over my shoulders.

" What am I supposed to do? Wait around for him? How long will that take, a month, six months, a year? How is that fair?" I ask, growing steadily frustrated.

" I know it sucks, but I don't think you will be waiting that long," she says cryptically. I am about to ask her to elaborate on that until the voice of Esme floats up the stairs calling everyone to breakfast.

" We better hurry up and get down there before Emmett does," she says and I laugh at that, following her from our room to the kitchen with the sneaking suspicion that Alice knows something that she just isn't telling me.

I stand on the porch staring at all of the snow and smile. Everyone that I have come to love and care for play in the snow like kids and I laugh when Jade hits Edward square in the face with a snowball.

" Oh Ana-Banana, come play with us," Emmett yells from his spot behind a tree. I smile slightly and shake my head.

" Why aren't you out there enjoying the fun and games?" a soft voice asks from behind me. I turn to see Esme and I smile.

" I love the snow and all, but it's a little too cold for my blood," I say laughing as I turn to see Emmett tackle Rosalie into the snow.

" You sure it doesn't have anything to do with what's going on between you and Jasper?" Esme asks, a smile in her voice. I turn to look at her and smile slightly.

" Is it that obvious?" I ask, running my hands through my hair.

" No, not obvious, but you have to remember I'm a mother, and I know what it looks like when one of my own is in love, and hurting from it," she says running a hand over my shoulder.

" Can I ask you something?" I ask, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

" Of course you can," she says, opening the front door. I follow her in, and sit next to her on the couch.

" What was Jasper like? Before him and Alice broke up? Was he always this guarded?" I ask, playing nervously with my necklace.

" No he wasn't. Not this guarded at least, but Jasper has always been guarded in some sense. You know about his gift, and you have to understand. When you can feel so much, you have to be able to protect yourself somehow," she says, " So you shouldn't take it so personally. I know that's hard to do, but sometimes if you love someone you have to wait for them to realize that they love you too."

" What if they already know that they love you, but they are just too afraid to be with you?" I ask, looking at her.

" Wait, Jasper already told you he loves you?" she asks, and I nod my head.

" When I went home for Thanksgiving, he told me that he loved me at the airport and then flew out and spent the holiday with me. I asked him if he wanted to be with me, and he said no. He walked away," I say tears clouding my eyes. My heart starts shuddering in my chest at the memory of it.

" Oh well, that changes everything," she says on a soft whisper.

" Yeah, what am I supposed to do?" I ask looking at her.

" I honestly don't know dear. All I can tell you is that Jasper is a fool if he doesn't realize what an amazing girl you really are," she says, smiling at me bright eyed.

" Thanks," I say, smiling at her.

" Now listen, your on break. You should be out having fun, now go," she says smiling at me and shooing me from the room.

I walk back outside and find it eerily quiet and abandoned.

" Hello," I call out looking around. " Jade, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, anybody." No answer. Where in the world could they be? I walk down the stairs of the porch and circle around trying to find them. I turn around just in time to catch a snowball in the face. I sputter in shock as I wipe the snow from my face.

" All right who did that?" I ask, and Emmett pokes his face from behind a tree smiling sheepishly at me.

" Sorry," he says, and I lean down scooping up some snow in my hands.

" Oh you will be," I say throwing the snow at him. I don't know how it happened but it ended up me, Alice, Jade, and Rosalie versus Jasper, Edward, and Emmett. They had the advantage although we had the numbers. I laugh hysterically and fall to the ground unaware of the cold.

" So I think its safe to say that it's a draw," Rosalie says smiling as she rolls over to lay on Emmett.

" Oh sure leave it to the girls to call a draw because they don't want to admit that the we beat them," Emmett says in answer. I laugh as I roll over and shove a handful of snow in his face.

" There, we win," I say laughing as I get up and dust myself off.

" That wasn't fair," Edward calls out.

" Sure it was. Wouldn't have had to happen if Emmett wasn't bitching about us females calling a draw," I say walking up the stairs.

" I wasn't bitching," Emmett says sulkily from his spot on the snow.

" Uh huh sure you weren't. I swear what is it with men, such sore losers," I say laughing as I look over my shoulder. I catch Edward and Jasper exchanging a knowing glance at each other. I should have seen it coming, and I think part of me did I just couldn't get my feet to react in time. Jasper scoops me up and throws me over his shoulder as Emmett and Edward pelt me with handfuls of snow. I laugh hysterically and call for assistance from the girls, but they are no good to me, as they are too busy sitting in the snow laughing. I don't know how much time passed, all I know is that our laughter echoes off the trees and mountains and for those few moments we are simply happy, and carefree.

" So how shocked do you think the parents are going to be?" Alice asks, running a towel over her hair.

" Probably really shocked," I say, setting the curling iron down beside me. " I know I would be if I were handed a plane ticket to Paris."

" Knock, knock," Jade says opening the door. I smile up at her from my spot on the floor.

" Hey," she says, " Just thought I would let you know that your parents are here." Alice squeals and scrambles past Jade.

" I'm almost done, I'll be down in a second," I say unplugging the curling iron from the wall.

" That's okay, I will just keep you company. So you going to tell me what happened last night in the car with you and Jasper?" she asks, and I look at her in the mirror.

" Nothing really. He apologized for the whole being kissed by Alice thing. Then he started to tell me everything that I wanted to hear but I stopped him" I say standing up to straighten out my clothes.

" You stopped him, but why?" she asks, sounding shocked.

" Because I don't want to hear it Jade. I heard him say he loves me once before and in the same breath he told me he doesn't want to be with me. I cant go through that again," I say blinking away the tears.

" Your just being stubborn Ana. You ever stop to think that maybe he was going to tell you that he was wrong, that he wants to be with you?" she asks her voice frustrated.

" No, I wont let myself hope for that," I say simply, opening the bedroom door.

" Your just as stubborn as you've always been Annalisa Benson," she says throwing her arm over my shoulder.

" Would you have it any other way Jade Larson?" I ask laughing as we make our way down stairs.

" Present time," Rosalie calls out smiling as we all settle into the living room. I sit watching as Rosalie hands out gifts accordingly. She sets a box on my lap and I smile at my name scrawled across the top in Emmett's handwriting. My heart pounds in my chest as Jasper looks at the gift in his hand, before looking up at me. I smile slightly before turning my attention back to Rosalie.

" Okay open them" she says and I start tearing the paper away from the box. I open it slowly and immediately fall into uncontrollable laughter. Everything within the box has one common theme. Bananas. There's a banana shirt, banana blanket, a stuffed monkey holding bananas.

" Aww, thanks Emmy," I say on a laugh.

" Your welcome," Emmett says a boyish grin on his face. I get lost in the murmurs of thanks going around the room. Jade's being the loudest as she looks shocked at the amount of make up that is in the box.

" Rosalie," Jade says her eyes somewhat misty. " You didn't have to do this."

" I know, but I wanted too," Rosalie answers back smiling as she slides on the new shoes that Alice bought her. I slide over to where Jade is sitting and look into the box she holds closely on her lap. My own eyes widen as I see all of the Urban Decay make up that sits in the box.

" You know your going to have to let me borrow some of that," I whisper to Jade, and she smiles.

" Not on your life," she whispers back, and I elbow her lightly making her laugh.

" No way!" Emmett yells out getting up from his seat dancing excitedly around the room.

" What? What did you get him?" I ask Jade, and she just laughs at Emmett.

" Jade you are officially my new favorite person," Emmett says grabbing Jade up into a bone crushing hug.

" Well, what did she get you?" I ask, laughing.

" Come look," he says, setting Jade back down on the couch. I walk over to the huge box that sits on the floor and look in, and laugh. Jade never misses a thing. I stare down at a box full of rubber duckies, in every conceivable color.

" That's not all, she got me a membership to the zoo," he says excitedly. I smile and sit down pulling out a rubber duck.

" So you going to name all of them?" Edward asks smirking at Emmett.

" You know it brother," Emmett says, and I laugh.

" What did you get Edward?" I ask, flipping the rubber duck in my hand.

" A c.d." he says simply. 'That's it? Jasper really isn't all that imaginative when it comes to gifts is he?' I think to myself.

" What c.d?" Jade asks, looking over his shoulder. " Hmm, never heard of them."

" You wouldn't. Their still undiscovered," Jasper says, and I look over at him, his gift still un-opened.

" Its kind of a thing we have. Jasper always finds a way to slip me a new undiscovered bands c.d just after they record at the studio," Edward says smiling as he takes Jades hand into his.

" SO everyone open their gifts? Okay good, there is just a couple more gifts we have to pass out," Rosalie says and I flash a look at Jasper. What is he waiting for? Does he not want to open my gift? Does he already know that I went out on a limb to tell him one more time just how I feel? Does him not opening it right away tell me in some way or another that he doesn't want to know what I feel? That he doesn't want the second chance that I am willing to give him? " Mom, Dad, Esme, Carlisle, here you go." I shake myself from my personal thoughts and turn my attention to the parents.

" Aww, you kids didn't have to get us anything," Carlisle says as he tears away the paper from the box. He slides the top off and stares dumbfounded at the tickets.

" Oh wow," Esme says, eyes tearing up.

" Are you serious? Tickets to Paris?" Veronica asks smiling through tears.

" Merry Christmas" Rosalie says hugging her parents.

" When do we leave? Tonight? Wait what about Christmas?" Esme asks, and Rosalie immediately hugs her.

" Don't worry about a thing, we will keep an eye on the house," Rosalie says and I cant help but laugh at the look that passes between the parents.

" I don't know you know what happened the last time we left the kids home alone," Carlisle says trying hard not to laugh.

" Oh Dad, please just don't say anything. We have grown up since then, matured," Emmett says and I laugh hysterically since while he says this he sits surrounded by rubber ducks.

" What do you think Esme? Think we can trust this lot alone?" Carlisle asks smiling down at Esme.

" Yeah, I don't think we have much to worry about. There's too much snow outside for there to be a raging party. Do remind me to put a lock on my underwear drawer though," Esme says on a laugh as she makes her way from the room to get ready to pack. I laugh when Edward, Emmett, and Jasper groan and turn five different shades of red.

" I think that went well," Alice says clasping the tinkerbell necklace around her neck.

" Yeah it did," I say, holding my new stuffed monkey as I lay on the bed.

" Jasper didn't open his present," she says her voice cryptic.

" I noticed," I say, sitting up to look at her.

" You don't seem upset," she says, sitting next to me.

" I'm not. He either wanted to wait to do it in private, or he just isn't that interested in what I got him. Either way, I will just have to wait, let him do it in his own time," I say, running a hand over my blanket. I look over to see someone opening our door and Jade pops in smiling from ear to ear.

" Hey," Jade says sitting next to us on the bed. " Cute monkey."

" Thanks," I say snuggling into the stuffed monkey.

" Have you named him yet?" she asks, and I smile at her.

" No, not yet," I say, " I'm still working on that."

" SO uhm, I noticed that Jasper didn't open your gift. What did you get him anyways?" she asks, looking at me curiously. I blush deeply as I look through my bag. I pull out the paper that has a picture of what I got Jasper and show it to them both.

" Oh Ana," Jade whispers as she looks at me.

" I know I shouldn't have gotten it for him right?" I ask, getting up to pace the floor.

" No, its just, its so beautiful," she says, a small smile on her face.

" Well, I figured this would be my last try you know? Show him that I'm serious, that my feelings are real," I say, running my hand through my hair.

" I think he will get the picture with this," Alice murmurs. We sit in silence for a while before Jade leaves the room to go to bed. I climb into my bed pulling my pillow close to me, hoping for sleep.

I climb out of bed and sneak from the room. No sense in trying to force myself to sleep, when sleeping is obviously out of the question. I walk silently down the stairs and slip into the living room. I sit on the window seat and stare outside. One thing about snow that has always seemed to amaze me, it makes everything calm, quiet.

" What are you doing awake?" a soft voice asks from the door way and I turn to face Jasper.

" Couldn't sleep," I say, looking back to the window.

" Neither could I. Mind if I join you?" Jasper asks, and I nod my head. I can feel my heart start beating erratically in my chest as he sits beside me.

" You didn't open my gift," I say wrapping my arms around myself.

" I wanted to do it in private," he says looking at me. " Emmett gave me a heads up."

" Stupid Emmett, remind me never to trust him with a secret" I groan out to myself.

" Ana, listen, I know that I haven't been fair to you. I don't want to hurt you," he says and I close my eyes tightly against the tears.

" No its okay, I just had to give it one last try," I say as I start to get up.

" Ana please," Jasper says as he reaches out and grabs my wrist in his hand. " I want to give you what you want, I do. I just don't think that I can."

" Why? Why because your stubborn? Or your scared? Or what Jasper? Give me one reason why you cant give me what we both want? One good reason that isn't an excuse and I will never bring it up again," I say growing frustrated as I grab his face in my hands.

" I cant," he says crashing his lips to mine. I slip into the kiss for a second before I pull away and look at him seriously.

" Then please Jasper, you're the only one who can make this ache in my heart go away, please make it go away," I whisper as I rest my forehead on his.

" Ana, I cant," he says moving away from me. " I cant be that person for you. I cant be that person for anyone ever again. I'm sorry." I wrap my arms around myself as he walks from the room. I lower myself to the floor and cry, my head resting on my knees as the tears fall freely. I lift my head when I hear someone shuffling into the room.

" Ana?" someone's questioning voice rings through the room. I look up and see a sleepy eyed Alice looking down at me. " Oh Ana, what happened?"

" I gave him one more chance Alice, and he said no, he said no again," I choke out bitterly over the tears. She sits down next to me wrapping her arms around me, and holds me while I cry out my broken heart. "It hurts so much Alice, what am I going to do?" I ask sniffling lightly.

" Your going to stop crying, and your going to smile, because you will be happy again one day Ana, you will be. And I will be here for you, whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to share ice cream with and boy bash with, I'll be here," she says and I smile slightly. So here I am left feeling completely empty and cold, and all in the name of love.


	38. Chapter 38: This Can't Be Happening

**Author's Note: Hello everyone and Welcome to ICFY! I am still not Stephanie Meyer so Twilight isnt mine in reality, in my dreams its a different story though :D Okay so, just as a warning to anyone who reads this, this chapter and the next two, or three havent decided yet, they are going to be on the sad side. I promise you I wont make you suffer for long, and I promise you its for the best. Anyways, with that said, onto chapter 38! As always Read, Review, and Enjoy :) **

**Chapter 38: This Can't Be Happening**

" _It's been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been. But what of the man who's faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy. It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealousy and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be. And that's when we find our way to something better or something better finds its way to us," - Dan Scott, One Tree Hill. _

**Jade's POV**

" Jade, are you sure your okay about driving back with me? I'm sure that Alice and I will be fine, you should ride with Edward," Ana says to me as she puts her bag in the backseat.

" I want to ride with my best friend, besides it will be fun. Me, you, Alice, gossiping about the men in our lives and loud music," I say grabbing her shoulders as she tries to walk past me. " Ana, please just relax. We're headed home early, and we're going to have a kick ass New Years Party."

" I know, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be such a Sad Susie, its just, ugh never mind," she says as she casts a look over my shoulder. I follow her gaze and see Jasper looking over at us. I don't know exactly what happened between those two, since Ana has been uncharacteristically quiet about it, but I'm pretty sure that I'll get it out of her, eventually.

" Okay everyone ready to go?" Rosalie calls out and I nod my head.

" Are you sure you guys are going to be okay driving alone?" Emmett asks leaning against Ana's door.

" Yes Emmy, don't worry so much," Ana says pinching his cheek through the open window.

" Who me, worry? About you guys? Never happen. All right, so we will see you back home. Drive safe. If you guys decide you cant drive just call me, love you girls" he says walking towards his own car. I smile when Ana and Alice yell back at him through the open window as I start the car.

" Wait I almost forgot," Emmett yells running towards our car with a grin on his face. Ana rolls the window down and Emmett hands her three of his newest rubber duck family members, one orange, one pink, and light blue one. " So you have a little piece of me with you on the ride home, ya know? So you dont miss me too much," he says with a wicked grin and a wink before turning and running back to his car."Remember, if you need to pull over just call me and I'll drive," he yells through his car window once he is buckled in. I wave him off with a soft giggle while Ana and Alice start talking about what to name their ducks. I wont need him to drive, how hard could driving in snow be anyways?

* * *

**Ana's POV**

" God, would you look at this snow?" Alice says, sitting forward to look out of the windshield.

" I know, its getting pretty bad," I say, pulling my knees up to my chest.I reach over and roll my window up, my heart is pounding in my chest as we are driving through a pure white wall of snow.

" We'll be all right you guys," Jade says, and I look over as she tightens her hands on the steering wheel. I take a deep breath as we approach the

" I don't know Jade maybe we should call Emmett, have him drive," I suggest fishing in my purse for my phone.

" Ana we don't need," Jade starts saying but her thoughts are cut off as the car starts swerving uncontrollably.

" Jade," I scream out grabbing the dashboard. Then it comes, the sickening sound of grinding metal as we hit the guard rail separating travelers from the cold river below. It feels like we're falling forever until I open my eyes and feel the water rising around us. I fight to open the door.

" I cant get the door, Jade, I cant get the door," I say panicking as my fingers slip from the door handle and my heart hammers against my ribs.

" Ana," Jade says flashing a look at me. Alice screams out as the water gets higher and the cold starts setting in. I unbuckle my seat belt and try to kick at the window, fighting hard to keep a hold on the fear. I shiver uncontrollably and start crying.

" Jade, I don't want to die, not like this," I say sputtering as the water rises and starts filling my mouth.

" You listen to me Ana, we aren't going to die, not today," Jade says and I nod my head. Then something comes over all of us, and we start screaming out.

" Help, someone help," I scream loudly, or so it seems loud. I take a deep breath as the water rises to the maximum level and pray that someone comes to help. My lungs start burning and I gasp for air dragging water into my lungs. I start panicking, eyes growing wide even as I swear someone's face flashes in the window before everything goes black. Everything goes quiet, and still.

* * *

**Jade's POV**

I always thought that I was a pretty good driver, after all I learned in California, I've tackled five o'clock rush hour, so how hard could driving a back woods road in Forks, Washington be? I have been asking myself that question for the last half an hour, as the snow falls thickly around us in a blinding wall of white. Alice murmurs in my ear and I try and tune her out as I concentrate on the road ahead of me.

" We'll be all right you guys," I say, tightening my hands on the steering wheel. I catch Ana looking at me, as she starts digging in her purse.

" I don't know Jade, maybe we should call Emmett, let him drive," Ana says looking at me panicked.

" Ana we don't need," I say, cutting off what I was saying as I feel the car start to swerve uncontrollably. I tighten my hold, but it doesn't matter, because before my brain kicks in to tell me what to do the sound of the car scraping against the guard rail invades my thoughts and all but stops my heart. 'We're going to go in,' my mind screams at me and a horrified scream locks in my throat as we free fall through the air and into the icy river. Ana screams out my name as she grabs hold on the dashboard. The water starts pouring into the car and I look over as Ana starts trying to open her door. I follow suit and quickly realize that the doors wont budge.

" I cant get the door, Jade, I cant get the door," Ana says and I look at her, her eyes swimming with panic and fear.

" Ana," I say and Alice screams out as the water keeps rising around us. Ana unbuckles her seat belt and kicks at the window furiously but nothing happens. I can hear her shivering and I fight against my own body which is frozen.

" Jade, I don't want to die, not like this" Ana says sputtering as the water fills her mouth.

" You listen to me Ana, we aren't going to die, not today," I say looking at her until she nods her head. Fear over takes us all as we start yelling and screaming for help. As if someone is going to hear us as we sink further and further into the river. I take a final deep breath as the water fills the car all the way and I reach out for Ana's hand. ' Please, don't let us die, don't let her die,' I think to myself even as my lungs start burning and I fight the urge to take a deep breath. I flash a final look at Ana and see her eyes closing as I fight to keep mine open. Then everything is silent, everything is still, and I fear that we wont be coming back from this one.

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

I sit next to Edward and a content silence fills the air.

" So, are you going to tell me what happened between you and Ana, or are you going to make me search your head for the answers?" Edward asks suddenly and I groan.

" What is there to tell? I screwed up, yet again," I say my voice growing frustrated. Not because he is asking, but because I have got to be the worlds biggest idiot.

" Jasper, can I give you a word of advice," Edward asks looking over at me.

" Sure," I say turning to look at him.

" Stop being an idiot. You love Ana right?" He asks and I nod at him in agreement. " Can you imagine your life without her?" I shake my head, because the honest truth is that I cant picture my future, hell I cant picture the next day without Ana. " Then why are you holding yourself back from her?"

" I don't know. Its like there is this wall, whenever I am around her all I want to do is tell her exactly how I feel and that I want to be with her, and then these flags go up in my head. Screaming at me, telling me that there is no way in hell that I will be any good for her," I say letting out a breath.

" Hold that thought, do you see that car?" Edward asks pointing out of the windshield. I look out and see what Edward is talking about. Through the furious wiper blades I see the car swerving and hitting the guard rail.

" Oh my god, that's the girls' car," I say my heart racing inside my chest. " Ana" I yell out as it goes over and plunges into the river below. Edward pushes the car to go as fast as it can safely, in our given situation, as my head screams out that there is no way that they can survive this. We come to a screeching halt and I bolt out of the car and run to the broken guard rail to see the girls' car sinking, and sinking fast. The sound of footsteps approaching makes me turn in time to see Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie running towards me.

" Rosalie call nine one-one," I say even as I start pulling off my shoes.

" Jasper what are you doing?" Rosalie asks even as she pulls out her cell phone.

" I'm not leaving them down there," I say, as I turn and jump. The fall seems like an eternity even as I hit the icy water. I come up gasping for air, feeling as if a thousand knifes are stabbing into me at once. I hear two more splashes behind me and see Edward and Emmett swimming behind me, as the sound of Rosalie screaming into the phone that our friends are sinking into the river and possibly dying motivates me to fight the cold and keep swimming. I take a deep breath and go under surface of the water and catch sight of the car. I come back up and look around for Emmett and Edward.

" I found them," I say quickly before taking another deep breath and dive back down under the surface. I swim to the car, my lungs burning from the cold. I grab hold of the door handle and try to pull it open but it doesn't budge. I push back up to the surface and yell in frustration.

" The door wont open," I say trying hard not to panic.

" We have to get them out," Emmett says sounding furious and scared. I simply nod and watch as Emmett dives down to give it a shot. I start to worry when he doesn't come up, until the sound of someone gasping for air sends a renewed sense of hope through me. I look over at him and see that he has Alice in his arms.

" The back door gave way, get Jade and Ana," he says grunting as he starts pulling Alice to shore. I don't think twice as I dive down again, following behind Edward. I watch as he grabs Jade and makes his way too towards the surface and I pray that I'm not too late. I swim through the backdoor and see Ana floating, so pale and her lips so blue. I grab her by the waist and pull her out and swim as fast as I can to the top. I break the surface and gasp for air and fight the urge to cry as I start making my way to safety with Ana in tow. I drag her to the shore and turn her over to look at her. She looks so peaceful, but her chest doesn't rise and fall in rhythmic breathing.

" Ana, baby, wake up, please wake up," I scream pulling her to my chest holding her close. " You cant leave not now, not yet." The sound of Rosalie crying and the sirens erupt into my head and I don't want to let Ana go even as the paramedics pull her limp body from my arms to work on her.

" How long where they down there?" one of the medics ask and I just stare at him dazed. " Son, how long where they down there?"

" I, I don't know, ten minutes, fifteen tops," I say, wrapping my arms around myself even as another medic wraps a warm blanket around my shoulders. I watch as everyone rushes around me, though it seems like my world is moving in slow motion. I watch helplessly as they load the girls one by one into ambulances, working furiously to bring them all back to us.

" Jasper, come on," Rosalie says dragging me with her towards Emmetts car. Still I cant take my eyes off the whirling lights of the ambulances as they race away, taking my heart with them.

* * *

" I called Ana's mom, she is getting on the next available flight," Rosalie whispers to me as she pushes a cup of hot coffee into my hands. I stare at the cup, watching the steam rise and circle above the rim.

" This is all my fault Rose," I whisper back tears clouding my eyes.

" Jasper don't be stupid, it was an accident," she says running a hand down my back.

" No, this would have never happened, it should have been Ana and me in that car, but because I was stupid, Jesus Rose, what if she doesn't wake up? What if Jade or Alice don't wake up?" I ask, barely able to finish a thought, scrubbing a hand over my face.

" Jasper, nothing you did or didn't do can change what happened," she says looking at me, her eyes swimming with tears. I wish that I could believe her. I wish that those words would click something on in my head that could take away this oppressive guilt. I sit back staring at the ceiling counting my heart beats as the time creeps by slowly.

" We should have heard something by now," Emmett says and I look up at him, as he paces back and forth in front of me.

" I know," Edward says, and I look over at him. He looks hollow, like his life force has been drained away and all that is left is a shell of his former self.

" I'm going to find out what's going on," Emmett says striding to the nurses desk. I watch as he animatedly talks to the nurse, demanding to know what is going on with the girls we all love so much. Ana. I close my eyes and I can picture her so clearly like she is standing right in front of me. Her long blondhair, beautiful green eyes. I sigh heavily trying to take deep breaths to stave off the inevitable tears and Rosalie reaches over taking my hand, squeezing it until I look at her.

" They are going to be okay," Rosalie says her eyes swimming even as tears fall steadily down her pale cheeks. I open my mouth to say something, anything, when one of the doctors who was working to save them comes out of the double doors.

" Doc, please tell me they are all right," Emmett says wrapping an arm around Rosalie holding her close to him.

" If you could just follow me into a more private room, I will be able to tell you what's going on, and to answer any questions you may have," he says, turning around and leading us to a family waiting room. This is never a good a sign. When they ask to talk to you privately its usually almost always bad news. My stomach sinks even as I lower myself unsteadily into a chair. I take a deep breath as the doctor opens his mouth to talk.

" I'm sorry," he starts saying and after that I don't hear much. There's a rushing in my head. Like the ocean when its storming, the waves crashing loudly against jagged rocks. The worst part of all of this is having to face what might have been, what should have been.


	39. Chapter 39: Sometime's They Come Back

**Author's Note: No Im not Stephanie Meyer, obviously, but I am Amber, so I do own ICFY :D SO here it is the long awaited aftermath Chapter! I hope I dont disappoint and I hope you all enjoy it. Please let me know what you think! Anyways as always Read, Enjoy, and Review :)**

**Chapter 39: Sometime's They Come Back**

" _Sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you. It's like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big Plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize its not always that easy. It's not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you you're leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered," -Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill. _

**Jasper's POV**

" _I'm sorry. They were all down there for so long, its almost an impossibility to know what long term damage there will be. Jade and Alice came around quickly, the are resting comfortably. We have them on oxygen, and under heating blankets to raise their body temperatures. We have given them medications in hopes of warding off pneumonia," the doctor says, looking at us all so soberly. _

" _Uhm Ana, what about Ana?" Rosalie asks, her voice shaky with tears. I watch the doctor and I know that he is dreading what he is about to say, and the fact that he has to be the one to say it. My heart sinks slowly into my stomach as he takes a deep breath. _

" _I am not going to lie to you, it doesn't look good. It took longer to get her back, and even though she came back, we're having to breathe for her," he says, and I get up to pace away. _

" _What does that mean? She'll be okay, wont she?" I ask, turning to look at the doctor. _

" _There are no guarantees in medi-," he starts saying but I cut him off. _

" _Oh cut the crap, I don't care what guarantees there are or aren't in medicine, I want to know if she is going to be okay," I growl out at him. _

" _Listen son, I know that what you have all been through hell, but you need to stay calm. I will make a deal with you, I will be completely upfront with you all about everything, if you can stay calm for me. We are doing the best that we can for her. The ball is in her court now," the doctor says, pushing to his feet. " I am going to check in on them, and I will send a nurse out when you can come see them." _

I replay the conversation with the doctor over, and over in my head, dissecting every sentence, every emotion. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is in fact, doing everything that he can for them, and for Ana. Yet, I feel completely helpless. I haven't seen her yet, instead I have been sitting in this waiting room, alone.

" Hey," Emmett says, sitting next to me heavily.

" Hey," I answer back.

" Jazz, you should really go see her," he says, leaning forward in his chair bracing his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. I can feel the pain and exhaustion radiating off of him, and I wish that I had the energy to ease it for him, just take the edge off.

" I can't, not until her mother gets here," I say, closing my eyes and shaking my head. " She should be the one to decide if I should see her."

" What are you talking about Jasper?" he asks me, bewilderment dripping from his words.

" I told her no Em. She offered me her heart, and I said no," I say my throat thickening, eyes burning fiercely. " That's why she didn't want me to ride with her, that why this all happened, because I was stupid and God, if I could just take it all back, I swear, I swear I would change it," I say my voice growing louder, even as I grow breathless. I get up and start pacing before everything inside of me snaps. I start throwing things and punching the wall before Emmett grabs me and drags me out of the hospital. Air rushes in and out of my lungs and I wish that I could be in Ana's spot, I would give anything if it meant that she would be okay, even my own life. Emmett grabs me into a tight hug, holding me while I run off the rest of the anger and pain. He holds me at arms length, his usually smiling eyes serious.

" You have to listen to me Jasper, you were the first one in the water looking for her, looking for all of them. You can't keep beating yourself up over this. You wont do her any good if you surround yourself in guilt," he says as I take a deep calming breath.

" Thanks Em," I say and a small voice comes from behind me.

" Jasper," a soft female voice asks. I turn and see Ana's mom standing. A small duffel bag in hand, her eyes puffy and red rimmed. The pain, and fear that rushes off of her is staggering, like a tidal wave.

" Miss. Benson," I say stepping towards her. I work off of instinct, hugging her. She holds onto me as the tears wrack her body.

" How is she?" she asks pulling away to look at me with tears streaming down her face.

" Miss. Benson, please just come in and Emmett will take you to her," I say, nudging her towards the door. She complies silently, wiping her eyes. I watch as Emmett walks Ana's mother to the elevators, before she turns to look at me. She says nothing just holds her hand out to me. I take it and she wraps my hand in hers, and the warmth of it washes me in fresh guilt, and I pray for a way out even as the elevator doors slide closed.

* * *

**Jade's POV**

It's so cold, and I'm sure that my teeth would be chattering if I wasn't so tired. It feels like I'm floating, somewhere between sleep and awake. The only warmth I feel is on my hand, so I will my fingers to move.

" Jade," the familiar voice says my name as warm breath washes over my face. " Jade, love, can you open your eyes for me?" I groan inwardly at the request. I slide my eyes open slowly, blinking them clear.

" Edward," I whisper out my throat hurts, raw and burning. I watch as a tear slides down his cheek even as he smiles slightly.

" Hi pretty girl," Edward says, lifting my hand brushing a kiss over my knuckles.

" Hi," I whisper. I fight against the sluggish feeling coursing through me my mind floating off remembering what happened. I lost control of the car, and we went in. The water was so cold, and Ana. My eyes flash open.

" Ana, where's Ana? And Alice? Are they okay?" I whisper out hurriedly.

" Alice is fine, she is going to be okay. Ana isn't," he starts saying his voice breaking on the words, "She isn't doing good, but I don't want you to worry okay Jade, you need to sleep," he says, brushing a finger down my cheek.

" I need, I need to see Ana," I say, trying to sit up. Edward easily pushes me back against the hospital bed. " Damn it Edward move."

" You can see her after you rest," he says, and I cant fight him anymore. I close my eyes and pray that she is okay as I drop into darkness.

* * *

**Alice's POV**

" How are you feeling Alice," Rosalie asks, and I look over at her. I wince as I clear my throat.

" I'm okay. Scared, for Ana," I whisper out turning to look back at the window. They told me Jade would be okay, but Ana still wasn't awake, and they didn't know if she was ever going to wake up.

" We all are, especially Jasper. He isn't doing good," Emmett says and I look over at my big brother. He looks tired as he runs a hand over his hair.

" I never saw it coming Em, how is that possible? I should have seen it coming," I say, tears clouding my eyes.

" Don't think about that right now Alice, just rest," Rosalie says, and I close my eyes in mock sleep. I play everything that happened over and over again in my head. The sound of the metal scraping against the guard rail, and the screaming for help. My body got so cold, and I ran out of air and I thought for sure I was going to die, and then there was peace, and quite. No sound, no cold, nothing. I knew I was dead, in my head and in my heart, and then I was back. I don't know how, and I don't know why, all I know is that right now my thoughts are on Ana and Jasper. She has to come back, she has too.

**

* * *

**

**Jasper's POV**

I stand in the door way of Ana's hospital room and I cant bring myself to step into the room. Ana's mother walks slowly to her daughters bedside, leaning down brushing a kiss over her forehead, and the heartbreak radiates off of her. I cringe against it, closing my eyes tightly.

" You know, when she was a little girl, I was so protective of her. My worst fear was that something would happen to my little girl, and now look at her. I can't, I cant wrap my head around all of this," Miss. Benson says, and I can feel the guilt drop into my stomach like a ball of fire. " She has to wake up and be okay Jasper. She has big dreams. She was always so worried about me, about something happening to me. After her dad left, I taught her what to do you know? If something happened to me, or if the house caught on fire, or if someone tried grabbing her. No one, no one ever told me what to do if something happened to my ltlle girl."

I watch on as she weeps into Ana's hair, and I take as much energy as I can muster to ease some of her pain and grief, though it isnt much, its the least that I can do seeing as how her daughter being this close to death is all my fault.

" Miss. Benson," I start saying, but she just looks at me.

" Please, call me Jennifer," she says sitting in the chair near Ana's bed.

" Jennifer, I should leave you alone, give you some privacy," I say, running my hands nervously through my hair.

" You haven't seen her yet have you?" she asks, never taking her eyes off of Ana.

" No," I whisper out, even now, standing in the door way the curtain is closed just far enough so that I don't see her.

" Can I ask you why?" she asks, and I take a deep breath.

" I broke your daughter's heart. She played it off over Thanksgiving, making it seem that everything was okay, but the truth is, that over the last few months I have been horrible to her. I have made so many mistakes with her, and last night was the worst of them all. I don't deserve to see her," I say tears clouding my eyes. What happens next is surprising.

" Jasper," she says, getting to her feet walking towards me. She wraps me in a warm hug and holds me close, and I lose whatever slippery hold on control I had. I cry hard into her shoulder while she strokes my hair. She pulls away from me, putting a finger under my chin forcing me to look at her.

" You listen to me Jasper. I know that my daughter is in love with you, and that you are in love with her. Do not hold yourself back, especially now," she says, taking my hand softly pulling me into the room. I take a deep breath before coming around the curtain. She's beautiful. Peaceful. If it weren't for the tube coming from her mouth breathing for her, I would swear she was asleep. I walk to her bedside, staring down at her.

" If you don't mind, I am going to check on Jade. Will you stay with her?" Jennifer asks, and I nod. She brushes a hand down my shoulder before stepping out of the room. I sit next to Ana, staring at her, willing her to show me some sign that she is still here.

" Ana," I whisper, taking her hand in mine. " Listen, I know that I have messed up a lot with you, and you deserve so much more. And if you will just wake up and open your eyes, I promise you I will give you what you deserve, I promise. Just, you have to come back, please come back," I cry into her hand wishing that she would tighten her grip on mine in some show of life, but there's nothing. Only the sound of the heart monitor surrounds us as I pray.

* * *

**Ana's POV**

I never believed in out of body experiences, then again, I never believed in people having the ability to see the future, read minds, or know and control how people feel. Yet here I am, standing outside of body watching as things happen around me, incapable of saying anything, instead I am forced to listen and watch.

" It's never fair is it kiddo?" someone voice asks, and I turn and see my Nana standing watching me.

" Nana?" I ask, looking at her confused. My Nana died when I was fifteen, and yet here she was, standing in front of me.

" Ana," she says, walking towards me slowly, wrapping me in a warm hug.

" Does this mean I'm dead?" I ask, pulling away to look at her.

" Not necessarily, the choice is up to you," she says, and I feel even more confused.

" I don't understand. I cant really remember what happened," I say, looking back at myself laying in the hospital bed.

" Come with me, I have a lot to show you, and not a lot of time to show it to you in," she says, holding a hand out to me. I take it hesitantly and before I can blink we are standing outside. I should be shuddering from the cold, but I don't feel anything. Instead I watch on as the car Jade, Alice, and I were in falls into the icy river. My breath catches in my throat as it all comes back to me. The frigid water pouring into our car, and the even more frigid fear. I stare, unable to look away as Jasper, Edward, and Emmett jump in after us.

" No, what are they doing? Are they asking to get themselves killed?" I scream out, turning to look at Nana.

" Just watch," she says, and we move closer, just standing on the shore line. I watch on, as Emmett breaks surface with Alice in tow, and shortly after Edward does the same, holding Jade as he swims furiously behind Emmett.

" Thank God, he got Jade. Please tell me Jade is okay," I say, but seeing Jasper break surface with me, takes every thought away from me. He saved me. Before I could say anything or react we are back in the hospital, watching as they fight to bring us all back.

" We have to raise her body temperature, we're losing her," a doctor barks out and I peer in closer realizing that they are talking about me.

" Why are you showing this to me?" I ask, turning furious eyes to my nana.

" Come on," she says, taking my hand pulling me through the hospital. We stand in the corner of the waiting room, where Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper sit. I watch on as Rosalie cries, and Emmett tries his hardest to hold it together for her.

" They all look so lost," I say, sitting down in the chair next to Jasper. I can only catch parts of the conversation passing between him and Rosalie.

" This is all my fault Rose," Jasper says, and my heart breaks inside of me.

" What is the point of showing me all of this. Its because of me that all of this happened. I just couldn't let go of him Nana. I love him so much, and I wouldn't let him go, and now he blames himself, how is this fair?" I ask, looking at Jasper and Rosalie. Wordlessly she takes my hand and walks me to Jade's room. I look at her awake and am thankful at least for that.

" Thank God," I whisper out closing my eyes on a shaky breath. " Alice? What about Alice?"

" She's awake too, worrying about you. Your mother is here too," Nana says and I look at her sadly.

" Mom, she is going to be worried sick," I say, walking back to my room slowly. I stand in the corner, watching as my mother talks to Jasper. There voices are so quiet and I cant hear them no matter how hard I try too. I watch in silence as my mother leaves the room, leaving Jasper to watch over me.

"Say something Jasper, anything," I say out loud watching as he takes my hand.

" You asked me what the point of showing all of you this is. The point is Ana, that you have believed your whole life that you don't really matter. But you do. To your mother, to Jade, to Jasper. He is sitting here with you, willing to give you his heart, now you have to make the choice," Nana says, resting her hand on my shoulder.

" I don't know what to do. If I stay here, like this, my mother, Jade, Jasper will be devastated, but if I go back, I have to live through all of the crap that life throws at me," I say, looking at her.

" Life is hard, no one ever said it was going to be easy, but the funny thing about life is when its over, I mean really over, you don't think so much of the bad times, or the hard times, the things that stay with you are all of the good things. The happy times, and the memories you make. Can you say you have made all of the memories that you wanted to make?" Nana asks, and I shake my head.

" No," I whisper out closing my eyes.

" Its okay Ana, go back, we'll be waiting for you," Nana whispers and then I'm gone. Inside of my body again. It feels alien, like I don't belong here.

" Ana," Jaspers voice surrounds me. " Listen, I know that I have messed up a lot with you, and you deserve so much more. And if you will just wake up and open your eyes, I promise you I will give you what you deserve, I promise. Just, you have to come back, please come back." I fight so hard to move my hand in his but my body feels so sluggish, like its telling me that its not time yet. Silence falls and the only noise I hear is Jasper softly crying into my hand. ' Come on Ana, you have to wake up now, you have to,' I say to myself, even as I fall deeper into the darkness that surrounds me.


	40. Chapter 40: A Hand To Take Hold Of

**Author's Note: Hello All, and welcome to Chapter 40! Can you believe it, wow I am in amazement that I have come this far. In all reality I owe to everyone of you who have encouraged me to keep it going, and especially to my inspiration for Jade! Thank you for loving me and this story and for always being the one that I could bounce ideas off of, and brainstorm with, you totally rock my socks :D Anydoodles, on with the good stuff....I hope you all dont hate me too much after this chapter. If you do, I totally understand, all I can do is promise you it gets better haha. Anyways, please read. enjoy. and review. Please review, I need as much feedback as I can get so I know exactly what direction to take this in. Love ya guys, and here it is the long awaited, Chapter 40 :D**

**Chapter 40: A Hand To Take Hold Of**

_**" 'You'll get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit. Why would I want them to?"-Anonymous**_

**Jasper's Pov**

" Jasper," a soft voice calls to me from the door way of my room. I don't answer. What's the point? "Dinner's ready."

" I'm not hungry," I whisper out, and I cringe against the pain.

" Jazz," the voice says again, and I sit up and see Rosalie staring at me. Her eyes swollen from the constant fury of tears that we have all been plagued with. " You have to eat something."

" I said I wasn't hungry," I say, clenching my teeth tight.

" You have to eat. Damn it Jasper, Ana," I shoot a glance at her from my bed.

" Don't say her name," I whisper out. Rosalie walks slowly towards me sitting carefully on the edge of the bed.

" She wouldn't want you to get sick. You haven't eaten in days, and slept even less," she says, and I stare straight ahead picking a spot on the wall to concentrate on.

" Fine, if it will get you off my ass I'll eat," I say getting to my feet, leaving her behind. I walk slowly down the stairs into the kitchen. Its eerily silent, not even Emmett is talking. Everyone sits around the table, pushing the food around on their plates, pretending to have an appetite. So many emotions swarming around the room it leaves me almost breathless. I sit at the table, staring at the empty chair across from me. No one will sit in that chair. It was Ana's favorite chair. I don't know how many times I would watch her as she studied. Sitting in that chair, one knee pulled to her chest, twirling her hair around her finger lazily as she read. I close my eyes taking a deep breath to steady the onslaught of my emotions. Everyone's emotions are the same, an overwhelming grief, but one persons stands out the most. Jade's grief, edged with an undeniable anger. I watch as she pushes away from the table, getting ready to walk from the room.

" Why don't you just say it Jade?" I ask, looking over at her. Confusion fills her teary eyes.

" What are you talking about?" Jade asks, wrapping her arms tightly around herself.

" I can feel it. Your angry. Your angry at me, and you blame me, so just say it. In fact why don't all of you just say what you have been wanting to say for the last few days and be done with it," I ask, my voice icy as I choke out the words.

" Jasper, no one is angry with you. This was out of everyone's control. It was a horrible accident, and Ana, she wouldn't want any of us to blame you or ourselves," Alice says softly, reaching a hand out to me. I clench my teeth at the sound of her name.

" It is my fault. It was all my fault and none of you are willing to admit it, but I am. I know that Ana would be sitting right here with us if it weren't for me," I say, pushing violently away from the table and rushing out of the room. I take the stairs two at a time even as they call my name behind me. I stand staring at Ana's bedroom door, trying to find the strength within myself to open it. I rest my hand against the wood and push it open slowly. I am surrounded by her scent. I close my eyes against the rush of love that races through me. I walk slowly to her bed, sitting carefully on the edge. I pull her pillow into my lap, burying my face in it. I breathe in as much of her scent as I can, trying to pull as much of her into myself as I can. I look up to see Jade sitting next to me, her eyes red and full of tears. She holds out the gift Ana gave to me.

" I found this, in the trash outside," Jade whispers, as she wraps my hands around it. I stare down at the glass that has a picture of Ana and me etched into it carefully. It's beautiful. She was beautiful that night. The night she dressed up as Juliet and everything was so easy. She was so full of life and in my arms the whole night. I run my fingers over the words etched at the bottom. _'The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.'_

" She wouldn't want you to blame yourself Jasper. Nobody blames you," she says, and I look at her trying to make her understand how much I wish that they would blame me, just like I blame myself.

" I miss her so much Jade, its unbearable. I cant breathe," I say, clutching the etched picture of me and Ana to my chest. Jade wraps her arms around me and I cling to her as we both cry out our broken heart. When the tears stop coming I am left with nothing. Left feeling hollow, and alone.

**

* * *

**

**Jade's POV**

" I never imagined life without you Ana. Funny right? I have always been the logical one, always saying that no one lives forever. But you weren't supposed to die. You had dreams, huge and wonderful dreams. And you should have been given the chance to see them all come true. God, I miss you," I say, as I sit cross legged in front of Ana's grave. " If I could just know that you were okay, I think I would be able to move on." I close my eyes and feel the sun beat down on my face. Ana would have been twenty one today. Its been almost two months since the accident, almost two months since Ana slipped away and couldn't find her way back, and still it seems like this all happened yesterday. The pain is just as overwhelming and all consuming. I open my purse and pull out a small bottle of vodka with a pink ribbon tied in a bow around the neck of the bottle. " Your mom will probably kill me for this, but hell, your twenty one now, so, here's to you." I place the bottle right next to the head stone before pushing to my feet. I stand staring down at the grave for a minute, my arms wrapped tightly around me.

" You know Jade, I always new that you were a big softie, you just would never admit it" a soft voice comes from behind me and I whirl around recognizing that voice anywhere. Ana. She stands before me, her long blonde hair blowing softly in the February breeze, and her green eyes sparkling with humor.

" Ana, oh my God, Ana," I whisper out tears thickening my throat. I stumble to her, wrapping my arms tightly around her.

" Jade, you said you would be able to move on if you knew I was okay," she says, pulling away from me, smiling broadly. She reaches up and places her hands on my face. " I'm okay."

" Ana, please, you have to say. I lied. You know I wont be okay, not without you. No one is okay without you. Emmett hasn't cracked a smile in almost two months, and Alice and Rose are wasting away, Edward is miserable, and Jasper. God Ana, Jasper is a mess," I say, the words rushing out of me.

" Jade. You were the best friend a girl could ever have. Everyone will be okay, but you have to be strong now. I don't want you to give up any of your dreams just because I'm not there. I will always be there, I will never leave you, any of you. But all of this crying and mourning, its useless. I want you all to go, and be happy. Live your lives Jade, tell the people who matter that they matter, and don't ever pass up the chance to say I love you, because sometimes its too late," she says, running a hand over my hair.

" Ana, please, don't go. I, I'm scared," I say, tears running hotly down my cheeks. I swallow harshly. Admitting I ws afraid of something has never been easy, but its the only way that I can think of to get Ana to come back, as if all of my pleading can turn back the hands of time and bring someone back from the dead.

" Scared? Of what?" she asks, a look of confusion distorting her peaceful demeanor.

" All of it, of doing all of this without you," I say, and a soft smile forms on her lips.

" Its okay Jade, your never going to be alone, I promise," she says, hugging me softly and just as quickly as she appeared, she disappeared.

" Jade, you okay?" Edward asks, looking at me closely.

" Did you see her?" I ask, and Edward looks at me blankly.

" See who?" he asks, and I shake my head.

" Never mind," I say, wrapping my arm around his waist as he leads me away. I cast one final look over my shoulder, and catch a final glimpse of Ana. I should be sad, but something inside of me shifts and the weight is lifted, and I feel almost like its all going to be okay.

**

* * *

**

**Jasper's POV**

I wake up startled. The dream felt so real, I'm half expecting to find myself asleep in Ana's bed, her pillow and our picture clutched to my chest. I breathe a small sigh of relief when I realize that I am still in the hospital. I sit up slowly, stretching. Two o'clock in the morning. I run my hands over my face, before quietly getting to my feet. I slip out of the waiting room and make my way to Jade's room. I stand outside and watch as Edward watches over Jade.

" Hey," I say, knocking softly on the door. Edward looks up at me, smiling slightly.

" Hey. The doctor said that if she is doing this well come tomorrow morning, they'll release her," Edward whispers as I move to sit next to him.

" That's good. They said the same thing about Alice," I say, watching Jade as she sleeps.

" What about Ana? Any change?" he asks, and I shake my head.

" No," I whisper out, and I sigh heavily. " I'm scared Edward."

" I know, we all are. Listen, I know you probably want to get to Ana's room, but I need to get something to drink. Do you mind sitting with Jade for a minute?" he asks, and I nod simply. " Thanks." I watch as he presses a kiss softly to Jade's forehead before leaving the room. Its silent in the room, not a sound to be heard.

" You dreamt about Ana didn't you?" a soft voice asks and I turn to find Jade awake and staring at me with haunting eyes.

" Yeah, how did you know?" I ask pulling my chair closer to the bed.

" Because I dreamt about her too," Jade says, pushing herself up.

" She died. And I was at her grave site on her birthday, and she appeared. Not like freaky ghost appearing, she looked alive, she felt alive. I begged her to stay, but all she told me was that she never going to leave me, or any of us," she says, closing her eyes on a fresh bout of tears. " What do you think it means Jasper? Do you think Ana is going to die?" I cringe at the thought of having to live the rest of my life without Ana.

" No, I don't think Ana is going to die, maybe this was just the universes way of showing us what our lives would be like without her," I say, leaning forward to wipe a tear from Jade's cheek.

" How was your life looking without her?" she asks, looking at me soberly.

" I couldn't handle it, Jade. The dream, it felt so real. The grief, the guilt, all of it. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the thought of her being gone," I say, shuddering at the thought.

" Then can I just say as her best friend, and as your friend. Stop being so stupid. If this accident has taught me anything, its that time is too short. You have to stop running away from Ana, Jasper, but more importantly you have to stop running from yourself," she says, taking my hand tightly in hers. We sit there for a while, in silence, until Edward comes back into the room.

" Your awake," Edward says, setting his coffee down so that he can hug Jade.

" I'm going to see Ana," I say, walking to the door. I turn to look at Jade one more time. " Thanks." She just nods her head and I leave the room, to make my way to Ana.

* * *

I walk silently down the hallway, half-heartedly smiling to nurses and doctors who recognize me. I stop outside of Ana's room, staring at her for a minute. Still gone, still peaceful. I walk into her room and pull up a chair as close to her bed as I can get. I take her hand in mine.

" Ana," I whisper out. " I dreamt about you. So did Jade. Only we dreamt that you were gone, that you fell away from us and couldn't find your way back to us. I think I realize why I had that dream, Ana. Jade, she uh, she told me to stop being stupid when it comes to you. To stop running from you, and to stop running from myself. That's a smart best friend you have there, because she's right. Ana," I say, pulling the railing on the bed down so that I can climb into the bed with her. I situate myself next to her, burying my face into her neck, breathing her in. " Ana, I love you. I think I've loved you from the moment that I saw you standing in the kitchen and yelled at you for parking in my spot. I know that I have done nothing but push you away for the last few months, but I swear if you just come back to me Ana, come back to all of us, I promise you that I will be different. Please, just show me a small sign that you can hear me, that your still here. You know what, I'll make you a deal. If wherever you are, your scared, and lost, I'm holding my hand out to you. All you have to do is take it and I will help bring you back. Just take hold of me." I wait holding my breath for any sign that she is here. Nothing happens. I swallow the lump in my throat and start to get up from the bed when a soft tug on my sleeve catches my attention. I look down and see Ana's hand holding onto my shirt. I look up at her face and her eyes start fluttering.

" Oh God, Ana, come on baby, open your eyes," I say, staring down at her pushing whatever life force I have towards her, any strength I can gather is for her. Her eyes open slowly, blinking heavily, until the are open all the way.

" Hold on okay, just hold on. Keep your eyes open," I say, backing from the room. I run down the hall to the nurses station. " She's awake, Ana's awake," I yell at the nurse who picks up the phone right away to call the doctor. I run to Jade's room next, panting as I slam into Edward.

" Whoa, slow down, what's going on?" Edward asks, and I have to put a buckle on my emotions.

" Ana's awake, she's awake," I say, and I hear Jade start crying, burying her face in her hands.

" Are you serious?" Edward asks, and I nod my head.

" I have to find her Mom, you tell Alice, Em, and Rose," I say, dashing from the room again. I wait impatiently outside of the elevator, cursing it silently. The doors slide open slowly and Ana's mom stands on the other side of the doors, holding a book tightly to her chest.

" Jasper," she smiles at me as she walks towards me.

" Jennifer," I say, my emotions finally breaking down.

" What is it? Is it Ana? Is something wrong?" she asks, her voice shaking slightly.

" She's awake," I whisper out as she grabs me into a tight hug. I walk with her, helping support her weight as we make our way to Ana's room. The doctor we have come to know as Dr. Collins stands over Ana murmuring softly to her. She nods her head at whatever he says.

" Ana," her mother whispers out. The doctor moves so that Ana can see her. She closes her eyes, tears rolling silently down her cheeks.

" Oh my sweet girl," Jennifer says, walking into the room gathering her into a hug.

" Miss. Benson, I was just explaining to Ana, that we will need to keep her on the respirator for at least another twelve hours to ensure that her lungs are strong enough so that she can breath on her own," Dr. Collins says, and Jennifer wraps him in a hug.

" Thank you," Jennifer whispers before letting him go to turn her attention back on Ana.

" Dr. Collins, there aren't enough words to express," I start saying, and he just chuckles slightly raising his hand.

" I didn't do it. She did it, and so did you. Whatever you said, must have been enough for her to come back for," Dr. Collins says, patting my on the shoulder before leaving the room.

" Jasper, I have to go see Jade, convince the nurses to let me bring her to see Ana," Jennifer says wiping her cheeks furiously.

" Go, I'll stay," I say, waiting until she is out of the room to turn back to Ana. I sit next to her, and see that she has a pen and pad of paper with her. She writes something down, and turns the paper towards me.

'Hi.'

" Hi," I say back. She turns back to write something else.

' I heard everything, everything that you've said.' I read it and smile glad that she heard me.

" I was hoping that you would hear me," I say, running a finger down her cheek.

'Did you mean it?' she writes down.

" Every single word of it," I whisper, pressing a kiss to her hand. She drops the pen and pad, reaching out for me. I hug her closely, my head buried into her hair.

" I have missed you so much. I love you Ana," I say, resting my forehead against hers. Funny isn't it? How it takes almost permanently losing someone to make you realize just how much your life would be missing if they were gone. I am not a perfect person, but I will spend the rest of my life proving to Ana that I am the perfect person for her, even if it kills me.


	41. Chapter 41: I Wont Be Alone

**Authors Note: Hello Everyone, and welcome back to ICFY! Sorry for the long time away, I have just been super busy, and I hate to admit, I had a severe case of writers block. SO I hope that you all like this chapter and if you dont please tell me. Well tell me either way, whether you like it or not. Anyways, Twilight and/or its characters are not mine, However the awesomeness that is Ana and Jade are all mine! Read, Enjoy, and REVIEW! Thanks everyone :D**

**Chapter 41: I Wont Be Alone**

" _Your body is free but your heart is in prison. To release your heart, you simply reverse the process which locked it up. First you begin to listen for messages from your heart-messages you may have been ignoring since childhood. Next you must take the daring, risky step of expressing your heart in the outside world. As you learn to live by heart, every choice you make will become another way of telling your story. It is the way you were meant to exist. If you stop to listen, you'll realize that your heart has been telling you so all along,"- Melody Beattie, Finding Your Own North Star. _

* * *

I lay in my hospital bed, watching the snow drift silently outside the window. I have been off the breathing tube for a little over a day, and feeling pretty good, except for the sore throat which as the doctr said, was to be expected.

" You still awake pretty girl?," my mother's soft voice floats through the room. I roll over and see her standing in the door way, looking well rested.

" Yeah," I whisper out, wincing slightly as I try to swallow. She rushes forward and spoons up some ice for me to suck on.

" How are you feeling? The nurse said you got really tired when you went for your walk," she says, and I nod.

" I didn't know I would feel this tired," I say, sighing with the relief that the ice offered my throat.

" The doctor said you would be out of it for a while love," she says, fluffing the pillow behind me.

" I know, I just didn't want to be one of those people who would be this tired. I want to be the one that beats the odds, on all levels," I say, laying back, closing my eyes.

" Honey, the doctor also told me that you refused to talk to the counselor," she says, and I roll my eyes. I don't need a counselor, I don't want a counselor.

" I don't need to talk to a counselor Mom. What I need is to go home, to Seattle. I need to be around my friends, and I need to get back to a routine," I say, my voice growing frustrated.

" Honey," she starts, " I can't begin to understand what you went through, but you need to talk to someone about it. And its only a few more days that you have to be in here."

" I know Mom, and I will talk to someone, when I am ready too. I'm just tired of all of this Mom, the wires, the iv's, the nurses constantly coming in to check on me," I say, throwing my hands up in frustration. " I want my own room, my own bed, and my clothes. I want something familiar."

" Okay, okay. Just close your eyes and get some rest pretty girl, everyone will be here later," she says, running her hands loving over my hair. I close my eyes and feign sleep. I haven't been able to sleep since the moment that I opened my eyes again. I listen as she gets up and leaves the room, before I curl back up onto my side to stare out of the window.

* * *

" So how excited are you to be coming home?" Jade asks as she helps me slide my shoes on, while Alice works to braid my hair for me.

" More than anyone could ever understand," I say as I flex my toes in my shoes. A soft knock on the door draws my attention and a nurse comes in carrying papers.

" Please tell me those are my discharge papers," I say, not bothering to hide my apparent enthusiasm.

" Yes they are," she says, handing them to me to sign. I sign them quickly, and hop up off the bed.

" Hold on there missy, hospital policy. You have to ride to your car in a wheel chair," she says, and I roll my eyes.

" Aww, come on," I say, sitting down grumpily into the chair. I bounce my knee nervously as Jade wheels me out of the hospital and into the cold. I smile at Emmett as he pushes off the car and comes towards me.

" Ana-banana," Emmett says, wrapping a strong arm around me as he helps me out of the chair.

" Emmy," I say, wrapping my arms around him. I let a few tears slide down my cheeks as Emmett holds me close.

" I missed you half-pint," he says, and I sniffle loudly.

" I missed you more," I say, sliding into the car easily. I strap into my seat belt and lay my head back against the seat.

" You ready to go home?" Emmett asks from behind the wheel.

" Yes," I answer simply as he starts the car. I look at the hospital one last time and thank my lucky stars that I am alive. I close my eyes and drift into an inevitable sleep.

I shiver against the cold and pray for the pain to stop. The burning in my chest rips at me, and the water is so cold that I wish it would just end. I scream out for help, but I'm alone, no one around to hear me. Someone shakes me awake, and I open my eyes quickly panting for breathe.

" Ana, are you okay?" Jade asks, looking at me closely. I sit up and look around. The familiar sight of our house in view.

" Yeah, bad dream, that's all," I whisper out, unbuckling my seat belt. Rosalie, my mom, Edward, and Jasper are all standing outside in the snow smiling as I slowly make my way from the car to the house. I am enveloped in warm hugs, Jasper being the last to wrap his arms around me. I close my eyes and breath him in.

" Welcome home," he whispers in my ear as he leads me into the house. I smile broadly as I sink into a chair in the living room.

" Oh sure she's home for all of thirty seconds and she takes over my chair," Emmett says, making everyone burst out in laughter. I laugh so hard that tears start streaming down my face, I'm not entirely sure why I found it so funny, but I laugh nonetheless.

" Do you want anything?" Rosalie asks, and I nod.

" I would kill for a hot shower, and a really big pizza," I say, and everyone laughs around me.

" Well, I'm sure Jade and Alice can help you upstairs, and I will order some pizzas," Rosalie says. I get up and hug her tightly, before turning to walk up the stairs. Jade and Alice both brace a hand on my back as they help me get up the stairs. I walk into the bathroom and stop to sit on the side of the bath tub.

" Thanks guys, but I think I got it from here," I say, smiling at them both.

" Okay, well, we will be close so if you need help just call for us," Jade says, closing the door behind her and Alice. I smile to myself as I pull back the shower curtain. I start the water and adjust it to as hot as I can stand. I strip off my clothes and step under the spray, closing my eyes as the water cascades over me. A flash of the car falling headfirst into the river flashes before my eyes causing me to jump in surprise and shock. I press a hand to my heart, shaking slightly. I quickly wash my hair, and snap off the water. Wrapping myself tightly in a towel, I slide shakily against the wall pulling my knees to my chest. I must be going crazy. Why else would I be having nightmares, or flashes of the accident every time I close my eyes. A soft knock on the bathroom door causes me to jump slightly.

" Ana, you okay?" Alice's worried voice comes from the other side. I stand up slowly and open the door, fixing a small smile on my face.

" Yeah, sorry, I just got a bit woozy. Probably from not being able to walk for so long," I say, shuffling past her and into my room. I sit on the edge of the bed and breath in deeply. It seems like its been forever since I have been home, and I close my eyes against a fresh stream of tears. I open my eyes smiling, happy to be in my room, on my bed.

" You have the same look on your face that I did when I was finally sent home," Alice says, pulling out a pair of pink sweat pants and a t-shirt for me to wear.

" Do I?" I ask, smiling when she hands me the clothes.

" Yeah you do. You know Ana, I never got to say I'm sorry," she starts saying and I am thoroughly confused by this.

" Sorry for what?" I ask, slipping into my clothes when she turns around politely. I run the towel over my head and sit back down on the bed. I watch as she turns back around, playing nervously with the necklace around her neck.

" I didn't see it coming Ana, and I should have. You, me, Jade, we almost died because I didn't see it coming," she says, tears clouding her eyes.

" Oh Alice, that wasn't your fault," I say, getting up slowly to wrap her in a hug. She hugs me back tightly before a knock on the door causes us to pull away from each other.

" Hey, the pizza's here if you guys are ready to eat," Jasper says from the door way.

" Oh thank God, I am starving," I say, laughing easily as Alice and I walk from the room arm and arm.

* * *

" Ugh, I am officially stuffed," I say, pushing my plate away from me.

" Should be, you ate a whole pizza to yourself," Emmett says, messing my hair up playfully.

" Did I really? Oops, well that's what happens when all you get for almost two weeks is I.v fluids and disgusting broth," I say, shuddering at the memory of just how gross the hospital food was.

" Was the food really all that bad?" my mom asks, and I nod grimacing at her.

" Mom you have no idea," I say, sipping from my glass of Pepsi.

" Well kids, I'm done in for the night, I think I am going to head to bed. I'm sure all of you have some catching up to do," my mom says, and I get up walking with her to her room.

" Mom, are you sure you have to leave tomorrow?" I ask, watching as she finishes putting things in her suitcase.

" Yes sweet girl, I do. I have to get back to work, and you have a life to get back to living. So don't worry over me leaving, you just worry about getting strong again," she says kissing my forehead before lightly pushing me out of the room.

" Good night," I say, hugging her tightly.

" Good night sweet girl," she says before closing the door silently.

I walk slowly down the hall towards the sound of the voices coming from the living room.

" So what's the plan for tonight guys?" I ask from the door way. Emmett smiles up at me.

" We were thinking movies," Emmett says, holding up a few DVD cases for me to see.

" Sounds good to me, I'll pop the popcorn," I say, walking slowly into the kitchen.

" I'll help you," Jasper says, walking into the kitchen behind me.

" You don't have to do that," I say, reaching up for the popcorn box. Jasper easily leans over me and pulls the box from the cabinet.

" I know that I don't have to, I want too," he says, handing me a package of popcorn.

" Okay," I say, putting the popcorn into the microwave. Jasper and I haven't talked much since I woke up. I heard every word and promise that he said to me, but for some reason it's almost as if there is some wall there now. Like I want to give my heart, just don't know how. I stand and watch the microwave, listening to the popcorn pop loudly.

" Ana, are you okay?" he suddenly asks, and I turn to look at him while I pull the hot bag out of the microwave.

" Yeah, why?" I ask, pouring the contents of the bag into a big bowl. I

" I don't know, you just seem so," he starts saying but he is cut off by Emmett and Jade yelling for us to hurry up.

" The masses are calling," I say as I grab my glass of water and bowl of popcorn. I brush past him feeling somewhat guilty for shutting him out the way that I am.

* * *

" Help me, someone please help me," I scream out sitting up straight panting for air. I blink my eyes slowly and look around. Everyone fell asleep in the living room in the middle of our movie fest. I shake compulsively, wiping the sweat from my face.

" Ana?" Jade's sleepy voice calls to me. I start crying uncontrollably fighting with the blanket wrapped around me. I stumble to the stairs walking as quick as I can, crying all the way into my room. I flip on the light and shut the door behind me before falling onto my bed. I curl onto my side and soon the bedroom door opens. Alice and Jade both lay next to me on the bed, silently waiting for me to say something.

" I think I'm going crazy. Everytime I close my eyes, I see the accident. Only this time I am by myself and no one was there to help me. I'm afraid to go to sleep, because I am afraid that this is all a dream and that I'm really dead," I sob out, clutching Jade's hand.

" Honey, you aren't going crazy," Jade says, and I cry until there are no more tears to cry and I can barely keep my eyes open.

" Will you guys stay with me?" I ask, and they both mumble in agreement. I fall into the darkness of my nightmares surrounded by two of my best friends, afraid that I wont wake up.

* * *

I wake up, my eyes burning. I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. I'm alive. I sit up and look around and see that Jade and Alice are both already up and out of bed. I stare out of the window before getting up to get dressed. I walk slowly down the stairs, the murmuring of voices in the kitchen catches my attention.

" You guys, she is seriously terrified. She said she's been having flashbacks, and nightmares, all typical signs of post traumatic stress disorder," Jade says, and I feel my eyes widen.

" Morning everyone," I say, sailing into the kitchen, fixing a smile on my face. " How did everyone sleep? I slept beautifully." I notice everyone stop and stare at me.

" Ana, please come and sit down," my mom says, pulling a chair out for me. I sit down cautiously.

" Jade told us that you had a bad night last night, and she has been doing some research. Honey you have post traumatic stress disorder, and you need to talk to someone about it so that it doesn't get worse," mom says gently, brushing the hair from my shoulder. I feel something boiling up inside of me. A trembling starting somewhere in the pit of my stomach.

" I'm fine, I had a bad dream, nothing less, nothing more," I say through clenched teeth.

" Ana, listen, I know that you think that we'll think your crazy, but you went through something immensely traumatic, you need to get help," Rosalie says reaching for my hand. I clench my fist tightly.

" Since when do you guys get to make decisions for me and my life? I went through it, not any of you. SO just butt out, I will get help when I decide that its time for me to get help," I say, getting up from my seat.

" Ana, you aren't the only one who went through this," Alice whispers, looking at me.

" I know Alice, you and Jade, you guys went through it too. That's what makes this hurt more, you guys should understand. This discussion is over," I say, walking out of the kitchen.

* * *

I sit silently in the car as Jasper drives me and my mom to the airport. Part of me feels so guilty for snapping at everyone the way that I did. I know that they love me, and that they worry, but at the same time, it isn't their life. It's mine, and I should be able to make my own decisions by now. Jasper silently parks the car and I step out helping my mom with her luggage. I walk side by side with her as we make our way into the airport. I stand to the side as she checks in and gets her boarding pass.

" Ana, you know that I love you. I know that you were blindsided this morning when everyone was sitting around, but you have to understand how much we all love and care about you. You know that you need help, but you have to do it your way, I can respect that. Just promise me that you will get the help Ana," she says, looking at me seriously, tears shining in her eyes.

" I promise," I say, hugging her tightly. " I love you Mom."

" I love you too sweet girl. I have to go," she says pulling away from me, brushing a kiss against my cheek. " You take care of her."

" I will," Jasper says, hugging my mother good bye. I watch as she walks through security and disappears around the corner. I walk back to the car with Jasper, silent as the tears fall down my cheeks. I slide into the car and watch as Jasper climbs in and starts the car.

" Ana," he says, " I know that I don't understand completely what you went through, but the rest of us, the ones who weren't fighting for their lives, were just as affected in our own right. We had to sit helpless, praying that you guys would be okay. Please, I almost lost you once Ana, don't shut me out now," he says, looking at me a pained look on his face.

" I'm sorry Jasper, I know how hard it must have been for you, I've been there after all. I just, I cant do this with you, not now," I whisper, tears sliding down my cheeks. " Just take me home." I turn my body so that my back is to him and stare out of the window, watching as the surroundings flash by us, not saying a word.

I stare at the papers that were left for me on my bed. All the information that anyone could ever need about P.T.S.D stares back at me. My first thought is to ball it up and throw it away, but it catches my attention. I sit down and read them all. It was me in essence. The fear, the anger, the pain. All of it. I walk down stairs in search of everyone. I see that they are all congregated in the kitchen eating left over pizza and talking. The room grows silent when I walk in. I clutch onto the papers left for me and look around. I swallow harshly, trying to find the words.

" I, uhm, I know that you guys were trying to help earlier. And I'm sorry that I snapped the way I did. Its just, I don't know how to handle all of this, and I am going to need a lot of help," I say, tears choking me.

" That's what we're here for," Jade says, stepping forward to grab me into a hug. I bury my head into her neck and feel everyone else join in on the moment. I don't know how long its going to take me to get back to normal, or whatever sense of normal that I can find, all I know is that I am going to fight like hell to get there, and I wont be fighting alone.


	42. Chapter 42: The Walls Fall Down

**Author's Note: Hello all! I know its been a long time, but life has been insane. Anyways, I dont own Twilight or its characters, obviously, but I do own Ana and Jade. I hope that you guys like this chapter, but if you dont I will understand. Im a little rusty but I have BIG plans for the next chapter. So please, Read, Enjoy, and Review! Love ya guys!**

**Chapter 42: The Walls Fall Down**

" _I accept chaos. I am not sure whether it accepts me. I know some people are terrified of the bomb. But then some people are terrified to be seen carrying a modern screen magazine. Experience teaches us that silence terrifies peoples the most."-Bob Dylan_

" This is impossible, I am never going to catch up. Jade, what am I going to do?" I whine loudly slamming my text book closed. She roles her eyes at me, and hands me a bottle of water before sitting down across from me.

" Ana, I love you, but your driving me insane. Just step away from the homework," Jade says, sitting down across from me.

" I can't Jade, if I do, I will never be able to catch up, and then I will fail freshman year," I say, banging my head lightly against the table,

" What's with Ana?" Emmett asks, as he and Rosalie walk into the kitchen hand in hand. Jade snickers slightly before turning to look at them.

" Homework overload," Jade says, laughing as Emmett dramatically gasps and grabs his chest.

" Say it aint so. Not my Ana-Banana," Emmett says, grabbing me in a tight hug.

" Ouch, Em, loosen up please," I say, gasping for air.

" You know what you need. Actually you know what we all need?" Rosalie asks, hopping up gracefully to sit on the counter.

" What?" I ask cautiously.

" A night out. Like an honest to goodness, good clean fun, night out," Rosalie says, smiling broadly.

" You guys go ahead, I have school work to finish," I say weakly, turning back to the table.

" Ana, you know what Dr. Emerson said," Jade says, her voice growing light with concern. I roll my eyes because I know that Jade's right. Dr. Emerson, the therapist I have been seeing told me that I need to get back into a regular routine. Not shy away from being with my friends.

" I know Jade. Its just," I start saying, turning to look at her. I see Rosalie, Emmett, and Jade all staring back at me with the same glimmer of hope and worry in their eyes. " Okay fine, but if I fail, I will hold each of you personally accountable."

" Woo hoo," Emmett calls out excitedly dancing around the kitchen, I laugh lightly at that before Jade and Rosalie lead me up stairs.

* * *

" Really you guys, this much make-up and hairspray isn't needed if we are just going out to dance and have a couple drinks," I whine, fidgeting dramatically in my seat, knowing that it would annoy Jade.

" Annalisa if you don't stop moving I will cause you bodily harm with this hear curling iron," Jade whispers evilly into my ear. I stop moving smiling softly. I know that their intentions are good, but it doesn't stop me from feeling somewhat begrudged. Ever since I admitted to having PTSD they everyone in the house has treated me like a child. I love that my new family cares about me, but sometimes it can become a bit overwhelming. I lose myself in thought and come to when Alice snaps in my face causing me to jump slightly.

" What?" I ask, looking up at Alice, Jade, and Rosalie.

" The hair and make-up portion of Ana's great comeback is complete. Now its on to wardrobe. My personal area of expertise," Alice says, as she helps me to my feet pushing me into the closet, closing the door behind us. I stand shyly as she looks at me closely. She turns wordlessly to the clothes and starts pushing through the racks of clothes.

" Alice, really, I'm sure that I can pick out my own clothes," I say, sighing heavily when she pushes a pink and black dress into my hands.

" I know that you can silly, but humor us okay. Now get dressed, we'll be downstairs waiting for you," she says, opening and shutting the closet door quietly behind her. Maybe I am being overly sensitive about the whole thing, I think to myself as I step out of the closet and into the room. I stare at myself in the mirror and smile. It's been a long time since I felt like a girl. The make-up, the hair, the pretty dress.

" Ana, come on its time to go," Emmett yells up the stairs. I open the bedroom door and almost run head long into Jasper, whose hand was raised ready to knock on my door.

" Hello," I say, nervously pulling at the hem of my dress.

" You look beautiful," Jasper says, giving me a quick hug. I stiffen slightly before giving him a tense hug back.

" Well, we better get down their before Emmett comes for us," I say, walking past him and down the stairs. I can't shake the feeling of guilt as I step into the cold air.

* * *

Two hours and three drinks later guilt is the last thing on my mind. I smile brightly when Jade comes and sits down next to me.

" Having fun?" Jade yells through the noise leaning towards me.

" Yeah," I yell back going back to sipping my drink happily.

" Come dance with us," Jade says, pulling me to my feet. I falter for a minute, before letting her drag me to the rest of the group.

" Aww, yay, Ana's here," Alice says, bouncing happily to the beat of the song. I get lost in the music dancing happily while my head swims. Somehow I got further and further away from my friends. I turn around and accidentally bump into someone.

" Oh, sorry," I say, looking up into a pair of warm brown eyes.

" No problem gorgeous," the voice says, " Want to do dance?" I look around for someone familiar before just shrugging my shoulders.

" Sure why not. My name's Ana," I yell over the music.

" Chance," my new dance partner says, pulling me closer to him. Something in my head tells me that I am being watched so I look around. I am just about to convince myself that I am simply going crazy until I catch Jasper glaring at me. I immediately step away from Chance, getting ready to mumble some apology and make my exit, when Jasper steps up to the first clearly intoxicated female and start dancing with her. I stare at him as he looks over her shoulder at me. The tears are imminent as I push my way through the crowd of people. I almost make it to the door when someone catches me by the elbow spinning me around. Jasper stares at me anger burning in his eyes.

" Let me go," I say pulling my arm from his grip.

" We're going to talk about this Ana. We can either do it here, or at home, but you aren't running from this anymore," Jasper says, grabbing my arm again. I seriously consider screaming but instead I keep quiet. I slam into Jasper's car fumbling with my seat belt. I click it on crossing my arms tightly across my chest as Jasper drives towards home, knowing the whole time this isn't going to be fun.

As soon as we pull into the driveway I slam out of the car and run for the door.

" Not so fast," Jasper says, grabbing me tightly.

" I swear to God Jasper, if you don't let me go I will hurt you," I say, pulling away from his grasp.

" What is with you Ana? Ever since you woke up from the accident you wont talk to me, you wont even come near me half of the time. I thought you loved me," Jasper says, staring at me incredulously.

" What's with me? So now this is my fault?" I ask, turning to look at me. " I waited for you for so long, and it wasn't until I was about to die that you come around? How is that fair? So I'm just supposed to forget everything that happened before, because you had a change of heart?"

" Ana. I know that I cant change the things that I did before but all I am asking is for you to give me the chance to prove to you that I love you," he says, stepping towards me. I step back cautiously and before I can turn and head for my room, Jasper grabs me into a tight hug. I feel his head resting on mine, breathing deeply.

" Please, Ana, just let me show you." I start crying into his shoulder, knowing that the wall that I had built around myself is crumbling steadily. I don't protest when Jasper easily picks me up in his arms and carries me upstairs and into his room. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am finally exactly where I'm supposed to be.


	43. Chapter 43: Expect The Unexpected

**Author's Note: Hello again fellow fanfiction fans. I do not now, nor have I ever owned Twilight or its character, but I do own Jade and Ana. Yay for me! Anyways, this is a pretty long chapter so I hope you all enjoy it. Its going to get really good after this, at least I hope you guys think so. So please as always, Read/Enjoy/ Review!!!!**

**Chapter 43: Expect The Unexpected**

_" **It's my Birthday and I'll cry if I want too."**_

The last two weeks with Jasper have been nothing short of heaven for me. I roll over happily noticing that Jasper is already gone for the day. I sit up sighing, wrapping the sheet tightly around me. A soft knock on the door has me fumbling along the floor for my shirt.

" Hold on," I say, leaning over the edge of the bed trying to think of the last place that I saw my shirt. Before I can find it I the door opens and Jade stands watching me a bemused look on her face.

" You go twenty years without sex and now you're a nymphomaniac," Jade says, laughing even as I throw a pillow at her.

" Oh shut up, and shut the door will you. I have to jump in the shower," I say, sliding off the bed and walking easily into Jasper's bathroom. I notice Jade sliding up onto the counter as I begin washing my hair.

" So, you know what this weekend is don't you?" she asks, and I roll my eyes. Of course I do. Its my twenty first birthday weekend.

" Yes," I say, smiling uncontrollably.

" Do you remember what we said we would do for your 21st?" she asks curiously. I think back through memories as I rinse my head under the hot spray.

" Sorry but nothing is ringing a bell," I say snapping off the water.

" Vegas," she says, handing me a towel. I wrap it around myself tightly looking up at her.

" Jade are you serious?" I ask, running a towel over my hair. " One we have classes," I start protesting before catching the look on her face. " I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

" Yes you are. Listen Ana, we deserve a little rest and relaxation. And my best friend deserves the best 21st birthday bash," she says, and I smile.

" Okay, then Vegas it is. But how in the world are we going to get there?" I ask, sighing because I know that I lost the battle.

" Don't you worry your pretty little head about that, I will take care of everything," she says, playfully snapping me with a towel before walking from the room. I stare in disbelief, unsure of what exactly just happened. When Jade wants something, she always gets it.

* * *

" Oh Ana. Birthday girl. Wake up," Alice and Jade prod me awake. I groan as I roll over trying to fall back to sleep.

" Not so fast, we're going to be late for our flight if you don't get your ass out of that bed," Jade says, pulling my covers off of me. I groan as I slide out of bed grumbling the whole way to the bathroom. I get dressed and walk down the stairs in a half zombie state.

" There she is, the birthday girl," Emmett yells, and I cover my ears quickly.

" Emmy, I love you, but please, shut up. I need coffee," I say, fumbling with a coffee cup.

" Aww is someone sleepy?" Emmett asks, his voice taking on a baby like tone.

" Yes I'm tired," I say, sipping at my coffee. " Whose bright idea was to book our flight so damn early?"

" Sorry bestest but it was the only flight that all of us could get on together this soon," Jade says, smiling at me happily.

" Well kids, lets get this show on the road," Jasper says, wrapping an arm around my waist. " Good morning birthday girl."

" Mmm, its not my birthday yet," I say, kissing him softly.

" Close enough love," he says, hugging me from behind as we watch Alice drag her suitcase down the stairs.

" Ugh gag me, you two get a room," Alice says, huffing slightly from carrying her outrageously big suitcase.

" We plan on it," Jasper says, squeezing my hips making me giggle.

" All right lets go people, Vegas here we come," Emmett yells, and I smile as I walk from the house feeling more and more excited about my birthday weekend.

* * *

I was never one for flying, actually in all honestly flying has always been one of my worst fears. Somehow flying in first class makes the thought of being trapped on an airplane not so bad.

" How was your flight Ana?" Jade asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

" Not so bad, the time went by really fast," I say, smiling at her.

" It should have, you and Jasper were attached at the lips," she says, smirking as I bump her with my hip.

" I wouldn't talk, Miss. Edward and I conveniently get up to go to the bathroom at the same time," I say, laughing when she looks at me with fake innocence.

" I have no idea what your talking about," she says, and I laugh as we watch Emmett, Jasper, and Edward pull bags from the luggage carousel.

" Is that all of them?" Edward asks, counting the bags.

" I think so," Rosalie answers, also counting to be sure.

" Wait, I'm missing my small pink duffel," I say, looking over the bags.

" Are you sure?" Jasper asks, and I nod turning to look back at where the last few bags are continuing there slow circle.

" There it is," I say, running after my bag. I snatch it turning quickly accidentally hitting someone with the bag. Of course. I immediately feel my face start burning with embarrassment.

" I am so sorry," I say, looking up. I stand in shocked silence when I recognize the face that is smiling back at me. Brody.

" Ana?" Brody says, looking as surprised as I feel.

" Brody," I say, rolling my eyes.

" Is there a problem Ana?" Jasper asks, wrapping an arm protectively around my waist.

" No, I just ran into Brody," I say, stepping closer into Jasper's hold.

" Well, well. Looks like Jasper here finally came around," Brody says, a sickening smile on his face.

" It was nice seeing you Brody," I say, grabbing Jasper's hand firmly in mine walking dragging him back to the rest of the group.

" Was that?" Jade starts asking, and I just look at her.

" Who was that?" Emmett asks, looking back at Brody. Rosalie whispers to him and an almost evil glint comes into Emmett's eyes.

" Small freaking world," I say, walking ahead of the group, unable to stop myself from laughing when Emmett starts singing It's A Small World.

* * *

I stare in disbelief at the penthouse that we are staying in. I look over at Jade, tears building in my eyes.

" Are you serious?" I ask, and she just nods. I hug her tightly.

" You are the best friend ever," I whisper into her ear.

" I know," she says, laughing as she pulls away.

I never imagined that I would be spending my 21st birthday with all of my best friends at the Palms Resort.

" Well hurry up and claim a room people," Emmett says, and I watch as people scramble to find a room. As if there will be much sleeping going on, I think to myself smiling. I laugh in surprise when the sound of someone popping a cork catches me off guard. I turn to see Edward smiling sheepishly at me.

" What is a birthday celebration weekend without some champagne?" Edward asks, pouring the sparking drink into flutes of beautiful crystal.

" We really need to come up with a better name for this weekend," Alice says, rolling her eyes at Edward as she takes her glass.

" Okay, everyone lift your glasses," Emmett says, and we all lift up our glasses.

" Here is to Ana-Banana, and Anapalooza," he says, and we all laugh and cheer before sipping the champagne.

" So what's the first thing on our list everyone?" I ask, smiling when Alice and Rosalie look at each other.

" Shopping," they say in unison.

" Sounds like fun," I say, grabbing my purse as we head out for a small taste of sin city.

We walk through the Caesars Palace forum shops, my arms weighed down with bags. So perhaps I'm splurging a little, but it isn't every day that a girl gets to go to Vegas. Who knows when I will be able to come back.

" Having fun?" Alice asks, happily taking a few of my bags from me.

" You have no idea," I say, stopping at a fountain where a small group of people have gathered.

" I wonder what's going on," I say, watching curiously as the water in the fountain and the statues start moving. I stare in amazement and I am immediately absorbed into the tale being told by the talking statues.

" That was awesome," Alice says, and I smile and nod in agreement. I turn and see that Jade and Rosalie are the only ones around.

" Where did the guys disappear too?" I ask, looking around trying to find them.

" I don't know, they said they would meet us back at the hotel for dinner," Jade says, looking overly nonchalant.

" Well we could go into shopping overload, or we could head back to the hotel and get ready for dinner," Rosalie says, smiling at me.

" Well we have the rest of the weekend to shop, so lets just go back to the hotel," I say, laughing when Jade all but falls to her knees giving thanks that she wouldn't have to shop anymore.

* * *

I lay on my bed close to a food coma, a small smile on my face as I watch Jasper taking his shirt off.

" I am so full," I say, dragging myself up resting on my elbows.

" Me too. I don't think Emmett will be able to move for a week," Jasper says, smiling at me as he slides onto the bed next to me. I cuddle up to him, laying my head on his bare chest. I listen contently as his heart beats rhythmically in my ear and smile when he starts running his long fingers through my hair.

" That's what he gets for eating so much. Not only did he finish his own plate of food, but mine and Rose's. I have no idea where he puts it," I say, grazing my finger nails gently up and down his side. " Where did you and the guys disappear to earlier?"

" We decided to leave the shopping up to you women," he says, his voice slurring slightly. I yawn slightly, a small voice in the back of my head telling me that isn't the complete truth of it, but I am too tired to push for the truth. I steal a glance at the clock smiling when I realize that in just forty five minutes I will be twenty one.

" You asleep?" he asks, and I shake my head.

" No, I'm exhausted, but I'm to excited to go to sleep," I say, looking up at him.

" Just close your eyes beautiful, tomorrow is going to be a long day," he says kissing my forehead lightly. I smile at the thought and close my eyes, falling into a deep and peaceful sleep.

* * *

I stir out of a deep sleep to loud voices. Are they singing? I jump when I open my eyes to see Emmett's face an inch from mine.

" Hey birthday girl," Emmett says, diving on top of me, successfully pinning me to the bed.

" Emmett get off of her," Jasper says, and I dramatically gasp for air.

" Are you trying to kill me?" I ask, looking around the room and all of the eyes staring at me. All at once, everyone raises their voices singing Happy Birthday to me at the top of their lungs.

" Aww, thanks, you guys are the best," I say, giggling slightly.

" Oh honey, this is just the beginning of a spectacular twenty first birthday," Jade says, helping me off the bed and shoving me into the bathroom. " Take a shower, and get dressed."

I smile as I shut the door behind me, happy to have the friends that I have. I look around the bathroom and sigh when I notice that Jasper left all of his clothes scattered on the floor. Men. I start picking things up when I lift his pants and a small box falls from the pocket. I lean down picking up the box noticing the name on the box. Tiffany's. Why would Jasper have a Tiffany's box in his pocket? Curiosity gets the best of me and I slide open the box, gasping softly when the reality sets in. An engagement ring shines brightly at me, the lights from the bathroom causing light to bounce off the diamonds happily. I slide to the floor holding the box tightly in my hand. A soft knock on the door catches my attention and I scramble to shove the box back into Jasper's pants pocket.

" Ana, you okay? Why aren't you in the shower yet?" Jade's voice comes through the bathroom door. I open the door quickly pulling Jade in and locking the door behind us.

" Tell me you didn't know about this," I say, shoving the box into her hands.

" Know about what, oh holy shit, where did you get this?" she asks, looking at the ring closely.

" Shh, it fell out of Jasper's pants," I say, whispering. I start pacing around the bathroom. " Is he insane Jade? I'm only twenty one, and we just now got to a good place in our relationship. Marriage? What is he thinking?"

" Okay, Ana, calm down. Do you love him?" she asks, her hands on my shoulders her eyes staring unfaltering in mine.

" Yes, of course I do," I say, looking at her like she just asked me the dumbest question ever. " But you know how I feel about marriage Jade."

" I know, all I can say is put it out of your mind. When the time comes your heart will tell you what to do," she says, hugging me closely. " Now get in the shower and get ready for an awesome day." I smile and wait until she leaves the room to let out the breath that I was holding. I put the clothes down and step into the shower, hoping that I can take Jade's advice and just put it out of my head.

* * *

" So what are we going to do today?" I ask, finally ready to go.

" Oh I don't know, we can always do more shopping," Alice says with a wink, and I hear Jade groan dramatically.

" No, lets do something fun," Jade says, looking through some papers. " Like roller coasters."

" Sounds good," I say, hoping that some exhilarating rides will take my mind off of a certain ring.

" Seriously you guys, that was awesome," Emmett says, smiling happily.

" Oh yeah great, I think Alice's screaming may have blown my ear drum," Edward complains, rubbing his ear.

" I didn't scream, that much," Alice says, blushing slightly in embarrassment

" No, not loud at all, people in China could hear you little sis," Emmett teases, messing up her hair.

" Yeah, yeah, well here's the plan, we will get ready, have dinner and then its time to hit the clubs," Rosalie says, opening the door to our room.

" Sounds good to me, I'm starving," I say, heading straight for my room.

" Ana, can I talk to you for a minute," Jasper asks, standing in the door way.

" Yeah, what's up?" I ask, looking through the bags of new clothes that I bought.

" Ana, why are you avoiding me?" he asks, coming to stand in front of me. The question catches me slightly off guard and I keep looking through the bags. Jasper grabs the bags from me, before turning me to look at him.

" Jasper, please, don't push this, not now," I say, clamping down on the uprising tears.

" Did I do something? Please just talk to me," he says, running his hands up and down my arms.

" Jasper," I whisper, trying to keep what little control I have in check.

" Come on Ana, what the hell is wrong with you?" he asks, and I lose it.

" I found the ring Jasper," I say, looking at him through tear clouded eyes. He looks at me for a minute before realization hits him.

" When?" he asks, and I swallow hard against the lump in my throat.

" This morning. I was picking up the clothes in the bathroom and the box fell out of your pants pocket," I say, sitting on the side of the bed. He sighs heavily running his hands through his hair.

" Well this definitely puts a damper on my plans," he says, smiling nervously at me.

" Jasper, wait," I say, staring at him in disbelief as he grabs the box from a drawer and drops to his knee.

" Ana," he says, and I just start shaking my head.

" Jasper, I cant," I say, the feeling of sheer fear falling over me. I never wanted marriage. I saw how my mom and dad's marriage fell apart, and how it tore my mother apart and ruined my own life.

" Wait, I didn't even ask you yet, and your already saying no," Jasper asks standing up.

" Jasper, I love you, but getting married, it was just never in my plans. My mom and dad's marriage was so terrible, I never want something like that to happen to me, or to you," I say, choking on the tears as I wrap my arms tightly around myself.

" That's bullshit Ana, you cant base what we may have together off of what happened between your parents," he says, his voice rough with emotion.

" You don't know anything Jasper, you don't understand what it was like to watch the things that I had to watch every day of my life," I say, anger bubbling up inside of me.

" I thought you loved me Ana, I thought what we had would mean something," he says and his words slap at me. He tosses the ring at me and walks towards the door. " Happy Birthday Ana." I sit for a long time staring at the ring in my hand, tears streaming down my face before I notice Jade, Alice, and Rosalie enter the room.

" What happened? Jasper left in a hurry, Ana?" Rosalie asks, coming to kneel in front of me.

" He, he was going to ask me to marry him, and I told him no," I say, crying harder.

" Oh, wow," Alice whispers, before my three best friends come closer wrapping me into a tight hug.

" I ruined everything," I say, crying hard into Jade's shoulder. " No you didn't, listen. Things will work out for you guys. It always does, he will come around eventually. SO you know what your going to do, your going to wash your face, do your make up, put on one of those pretty new dresses you bought, and we are going to celebrate your birthday," Jade says, helping me off the bed and into the bathroom. All the while I doubt that anything between Jasper and I will ever be the same.

* * *

An hour and a half later we are sitting in a nice v.I.p room in Rain, one of the hottest clubs in the all of Las Vegas.

" Okay, here's to Ana," Emmett says lifting a shot glass. I laugh hysterically already well past drunk. " Emmy, we have toasted to me a million times already," I say, sloshing my shot slightly.

" Oh, well who cares," he says, " Drink up." I take the shot easily.

" Ana, Jasper's here," Jade says, I smile when I see him coming towards us.

" It's okay, I need to talk to him," I say, standing up swaying slightly.

" You're a little too drunk," she says, but I shrug off her hand and walk towards Jasper.

" Hey," Jasper says, grabbing me as I sway towards him. " Sorry, Emmett has insisted on toasting to me a million times," I say, smiling slightly.

" Listen Ana, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just tried to bombard you like that," he says, and I shake my head quickly.

" No, Jasper, I'm sorry. I should have said yes. You were right, I cant base what I get out of life on what my parents got out of theirs," I say, and he looks at me closely.

" Your drunk you have no idea what your talking about Ana," he says, his eyes glinting strangely in the light.

" Oh yeah, I would marry you right now if I could," I say, laughing at the look of shock on his face.

" Well we are in Vegas," he says, and before I can say anything he takes my hand and leads me from the club.

" Wait where are we going?" I ask, as we walk outside, the fresh air hits me, and immediately all of my giddiness leaves my body, and I don't feel as drunk as I did in the stuffy club.

" We're you serious Ana, will you marry me, tonight, right now?" he asks, and I look at him. It doesn't take much time for me to think.

" Yes," I say, and he kisses me deeply.

* * *

I open my eyes slowly, groaning into my pillow. Never again. I had way too much to drink. I have learned my lesson. I roll over and snuggle into Jasper.

" Good morning Mrs. Hale," Jasper says, and I open my eyes widely. I sit up and look at him and then down at my left hand where the diamond ring that caused me and Jasper's fight yesterday sits on my finger.

" We didn't," I say, looking over at him. I thought that had been a dream. The whole wedding thing. " Ana," he says, sitting up to look at me. " You said you wanted to."

" I was drunk, oh my God, we're married, oh hell, what is my mom going to think? Was anyone else there, like Jade, or Rosalie?" I ask, looking at him near hysteria.

" No they weren't there. Do you regret it?" he asks, and I sit for a second expecting to feel regretful, but it doesn't come. Instead a steady warmth races through me, and I smile slowly.

" No," I say, hugging him tightly feeling complete. I belong to him now, and he to me.

" Good morning," Jade says, flittering into the room looking like last nights drinking didn't have much of an affect on her. " Looks like you guys made up nicely. We have to get packed and going, and wait a minute, is that an engagement ring on your finger?"

" Uhm, well, funny story really," I say running my fingers through my hair.

" What's so funny?" she asks, and I watch as she stares at my ring and then down at Jasper's ring realization settling on her like a ton of bricks.

" Oh my GOD," Jade yells and I wince slightly.

" Jade, please calm down," but by the time I finished that sentence every one ran into the room to see what was going on.

" What happened?" Edward asks, looking around curiously.

" They got married," Jade says, and I blush deeply as the room goes dead quiet.

" Your kidding? She's kidding right? Because my brother wouldn't just go off and get married in Vegas without having his sister or parents there, tell me that's he is kidding Jasper," Rosalie says, and in answer Jasper just holds up his left hand where his silver wedding band encircles his ring finger.

" Oh wow, oh Mom and Dad are going to kill you Jasper," Rosalie says, and I wince.

" They wont kill me because they don't have to know. All the parents need to know is that we are engaged, we will have a big wedding back in Washington, they don't have to know that we are already technically married," Jasper says, glaring at Rosalie.

" Fine, but if they find out some how, its your head not mine," Rosalie says, walking from the room with a snickering Emmett behind her.

" Ana, can I talk to you a minute?" Jade asks, and I look at Jasper, pleading with him with my eyes to give us a minute alone.

" I'm going to get some coffee," he says, pressing a kiss to my forehead before leaving the room. I sit in the bed waiting for the wrath of Jade to fall down on me, but instead she calmly sits on the bed next to me.

" Are you sure this is what you want Ana?" she asks, and I look at her in disbelief.

" Yes. Yesterday when I found the ring and told you about it, you told me to follow my heart. I ran from my heart at first, but last night when I saw him, I realized that I need him. I want him for the rest of my life, he's the only one for me, Jade," I say, smiling at her.

" Okay, then the secret is safe with me, Ana," she says, hugging me closely.

" Thanks Jade," I say, pulling away.

" I still cant believe it, your married, this is crazy. Now get packed, time to get back to reality," she says, leaving the room. I sit in bed, wondering just how different things are going to be now that Jasper and I are married, hoping I didn't make a huge mistake. It feels so right, so how could it be wrong?


	44. Chapter 44: Eleven Weeks

**Author's Note: Okay, so as always, I'm not Stephanie Meyer, so Twilight and all of its glorious charactars are not mine to claim, but Ana and Jade are all mine. Okay, so to be honest as of lately, I have been feeling rather blue, and down about my writing, and I seriously considered quitting the story, that is until I got the most insanely awesome comment from Amooo'Cullen.x Seriously thank you for the comment it totally made my day, and I hope that you enjoy this chapter. I also have one huge request, if anyone can find quotes that they think fits the story, send them to me on here, I want to make a video to go with the story, and I want the quotes to kind of be filler's. Anyways enough of me, on to Chapter 44! As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!!!! **

**Chapter 44: Eleven Weeks**

" _**Maybe if my heart stops beating, it wont hurt this much, and never will I have to answer again to anyone, Please don't get me wrong, Because I'll never let this go, but I can't find the words to tell you, I don't want to be alone, But now I feel like I don't know you,"-Paramore, Never Let This Go. **_

Keeping this whole secret of me and Jasper already being married is having a strange effect on me. The first week, I jumped whenever someone said my name, which thoroughly entertained Emmett, seeing as how he saw fit to whisper my name in my ear when I wasn't aware he was there just to see me fly into the air. The second week I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. Everywhere I went, this stupid grin went with me. By the third week all I could think of doing was sleeping, and now it seems the guilt of keeping such a monumental secret from not only my mother, but Jasper's parents has decided to manifest itself into the nastiest stomach flu I have ever experienced. I roll out of the bed Jasper and I share, and make my way weakly to the door, bracing myself quickly trying to calm my rolling stomach. I open the door and head down stairs where soft voices come from the kitchen.

" Morning half-pint," Emmett says, waving a spatula at me. " Eggs?" He asks, and I wrinkle my nose in disgust at the thought of food.

" No, please, no food," I say, opening the refrigerator door, pulling out a cold water bottle. I sit down at the table slowly sipping the water.

" You don't look so good Ana, how long have you had this flu?" Rosalie asks, pressing a hand to my forehead.

" I don't know, about a week. I just feel so tired, and my stomach feels like its back on the rollercoaster in Vegas, and forgot to get off," I say, laying my head against the table. Emmett comes to the table carrying two plates full of eggs, bacon and toast, which normally would have my stomach growling, instead it has my stomach pitching as I scramble to the closest bathroom one hand over my mouth. I barely manage to get into the bathroom before I lose what little I had left in my stomach. I slide against the bathroom wall, pulling my knees, closing my eyes. What is wrong with me. I have never been one to get sick, and there isn't a flu going around, I would know. Jade has been sure to warn all of us, of any sickness that was making it's way around campus. I rub my raw stomach and think about all that it could possibly be. I haven't eaten anything strange, haven't been around anyone sick. I open my eyes slowly as I realize there is one very real possibility that I had somehow overlooked.

An hour later, I am sitting in the bathroom looking at the small test in my hand staring in disbelief at the positive sign staring back at me. How can this be? We were careful, always careful. I close my eyes fighting the tears, trying to suppress the bubbling hysteria. A small knock on the door comes, and I barely hear it.

" Ana, are you okay? You've been in there a while," Alice's voice comes through the door. I don't answer clutching the test to my chest crying silently. The sobs shaking my shoulders as I bury my head into my arms. I hear the door open and close. " Ana." I look up at Alice, and her smile fades slowly before she rushes towards me sitting across from me so she can look at me.

" Alice," I cry out, trying to swallow the tears.

" What's the matter, what's wrong?" she asks, and I just shake my head, handing her the test. She looks at it for a minute apparent shock on her face.

" I'm pregnant," I say, " That's why I've been so tired, why I have been feeling like I was sick with the flu."

" How late are you?" she asks, setting the test down on the counter.

" I don't know, everything lately has been so crazy that I haven't really been paying much attention to it," I say, taking a deep breath to calm myself. " The last period I remember having was when we went to Forks for Christmas, so what almost two and a half months or go, give or take a week." it's silent for a long time, before Alice says anything else.

" What are you going to do?" she asks, and I close my eyes on a new wave of tears.

" I don't know. I never thought," I say, but I stop myself when someone knocks on the door. Jasper's excited voice comes through the door.

" Ana are you in there? I have some exciting news," Jasper says, and I immediately scramble to my feet, shoving the pregnancy test box in he drawer.

" Just a second," I say, splashing my face with water. I open the door slowly, and smile half heartedly at him. I cant help but notice the ear to ear grin on his face.

" Hello love, oh hey Alice," he says, looking perplexed for a second as to why we are in the bathroom together. " I have great news, oh Alice stay, you will want to hear this too," he says, stopping Alice from leaving the room.

" What has you so excited?" I ask, faking an enthusiastic voice for him. When really my head and my heart are screaming to just tell him. Let the words fall out of my mouth.

" Okay, so do you remember that internship for that recording label in London that I applied for a few months ago? The one that would be like a student exchange program for a year starting this June?" he asks, and I nod slowly. Of course I remember, its all he talked about for a long time. How excited he would be if he got it, what a wonderful opportunity it would be.

" Yes," I say, nodding slowly.

" I got it, baby I got," he says wrapping me in a tight hug. " Ana what's the matter? I thought you would be happy. That means a whole year in London, just me and you."

" Jasper, I cant go to London with you," I say, my voice sounding hollow and far away, almost foreign.

" What? Why? We're married you cant expect me to leave my wife here for a year do you?" he asks, stepping away from me looking confused by my lack of excitement.

" I cant go because I'm pregnant," I say, the words tumbling out. The silence that falls over the room is staggering.

" No, you cant be. We were careful, every single time," he say, looking at me accusingly. " It must be a mistake."

I watch as Alice skirts past Jasper, luckily able to escape this situation.

" It's not a mistake Jasper. It explains everything. Why I've been so tired, why I've been getting sick for the last week," I say, sitting on the bathroom counter.

" How late are you?" he asks, and I blush deeply.

" I don't know, about two months or so," I say, and he looks at me closely. Something in him changes.

" How do I know its mine?" he asks, and I stare at him in shock.

" You don't mean that," I whisper, looking at him through tear clouded eyes.

" Well, how do I know?" he asks, and I look at him any heart ache I feel being quickly replaced with rage.

" You know how you know. You were my first Jasper, the only guy I had ever been with. There was no one before you, no one after you, and if you don't believe that then why did you marry me?" I ask, screaming as I open the drawer and pull out the test slamming it against his chest. " The baby is yours Jasper. But it is more than apparent that some stupid internship in London is not only more important than your wife, but its more important than your unborn child," I say, shoving past him running for my room. I slam the door behind me, locking the door tightly behind me. I slide against the door and curl up in a ball laying a hand on my stomach. Jasper may think this is a mistake, but it isn't to me. I will love this child, even if he doesn't.

* * *

" Jade you didn't have to come with me," I say, fidgeting nervously on the examination table. Even as the words come out of my mouth, I know that I wouldn't have been able to do this alone, and seeing as how my husband and I haven't spoken in a week, Jade was the only logical choice to make.

" Of course I did. So when are you going to tell your mom?" she asks me, and I roll my eyes.

" I don't know, I guess hiding it until I have the baby is kind of out of the question isn't it?" I ask, and before Jade could crack some joke to lighten the mood a knock sounds on the door.

" Hello, Ana," the doctor says, extending a hand to me. I smile and shake her hand. " Hello Dr. Jamison," I say, taking a deep breath, hoping I can make it through this check up. I lay back against the examination, letting the doctor do what she has to do, all the time wondering where Jasper is, and if he is thinking about me and the baby.

" Aww, would you look at your baby, already gorgeous," Jade says, staring at the ultrasound pictures. I smile at her. The baby has fingers, and toes, and I heard the heart beat. I drop my teary eyes to my lap. " Ana, he'll come around." I feel Jade squeeze my hand slightly.

" What if he doesn't Jade? This was never the plan. How can I take care of this baby by myself?" I ask, tears sliding steadily down my cheeks. I grow increasingly embarrassed as I realize that I am sitting in the middle of a restaurant crying. I wipe my face discreetly shaking my head showing Jade that I don't want to talk about this anymore.

" Have you thought of names?" she asks, quickly changing the subject.

" No, haven't really thought about it. I think I will wait until I find out what I'm having before I think about names," I say, easily sliding into the conversation and forgetting the heartache I feel temporarily.

* * *

I sit with Alice in the bedroom we used to share, thumbing through What To Expect When Your Expecting when my phone starts ringing. I look at the caller I.d and see that it's my mom. My heart starts pounding roughly against my chest.

" Hey Mom," I say, making my voice as upbeat as possible.

" Hey sweet girl. How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while, just wanted to check on you," she says, and I smile. Something about talking to my mom always puts everything at ease.

" Sorry Mom, things have just been, crazy," I say, pacing around the room.

" Well, that's why I called. I think you and everyone should come down here for spring break. That's next week you know?" she says, and I try and scramble to come up with a reason why that would be a bad idea, but instead I agree with her.

" Yeah, okay, I will talk to everyone about it tonight at dinner and we will work out the details, and I will call you tomorrow. I have to go now Mom, got to get back to studying," I say, " Love you too, bye." I look over at Alice, who has a wicked grin on her face.

" Should I get everyone together?" she asks, and I just shake my head.

" No, I'm going to cook dinner then I will talk to everyone about it, besides if you guys come with me, the less likely it will be that my Mom will kill me when she finds out that I'm pregnant," I say, walking from the room.

" Mmm, it smells so good in hear Ana-banana," Emmett says, peeking under the lid of one of the pots on the stove.

" Good. Now go get everyone, dinner's ready," I say, turning back to the sink to wash my hands.

" He'll come around Ana, and if he doesn't I'll kick his ass for you," he says, hugging me lightly from behind.

" Thanks Em," I say, turning to look at him. " Now go get everyone for dinner, or you get none."

" Ugh, low blow little sister, low blow. Hey Everyone come and get dinner or there will be none left for you," he yells, and I laugh at the sound of rushing feet coming from every direction.

" Mmm, Ana's spaghetti, what did we do to get so lucky?" Edward asks, looking around the room.

" Nothing, actually I made it as a bribe," I say, sitting down to eat.

" Bribe away," Rosalie says, filling up her plate. I smile until I notice Jasper walking in.

" Uhm so, my Mom called, and she wants all of us to come to California for spring break," I say, " I know that you guys probably all have plans already, but it would be a great help to me if you guys would come. I figure we could leave next Friday after classes, be there early Saturday morning. We could go to the beach, and Disneyland, come on guys please," I say, looking around at everyone.

" You don't have to beg Ana, we have no problem coming, if it means you and the little one wont suffer too much of the wrath sure to come when your mom finds out," Alice says, and everyone murmurs in agreement. I smile and sit back in relief, smiling at everyone around me. My smile falters slightly when Jasper catches my eyes, and I look away quickly. I fall into Emmett's excited conversation about Disneyland with the feeling that I'm being watched.

* * *

Later, when the house is quiet I sit in the living room curled up on the couch watching the rain fall steadily outside of the window.

" Hey," Jasper says, and I sit up to see him looking at me from the door way.

" Hey," I say back, turning back to watch the window.

" Ana, we have to talk about this," he says, coming to sit on the table in front of me. " I know I didn't have the best reaction, but it just caught me off guard."

" You think it didn't catch me off guard? I never planned this Jasper, ever. I wasn't going to be that girl, the one who got pregnant in college, and here I am. You let me down Jasper," I say, straining to control the tears that are building inside of me.

" I know Ana, and I'm sorry. It's just, I have this amazing opportunity, and," I cut him off before he can finish his statement.

" Then take it. Go. Go to London, do your internship," I say, getting up to walk from the room. " Just know this. I wont be here waiting for you when you get back." I leave the room before he can react, and maybe that was slightly childish, but I'm not thinking only about me anymore, its about the baby now too.


	45. Chapter 45: Battlefield

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* * *

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Author's Note: Hello again! I am not now nor have I ever been Stephanie Meyer therefore Twilight and all of its awesomeness isnt mine.....but fear not because Jade and Ana are!!! Anyways, I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing, serioulsy its so awesome! So as a gift to you, and since I have no cookies handy, here is Chapter 45. As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!

**Chapter 45: Battlefield**

**" _Some hearts are broken and mended. Others are shattered or torn. Although it was never intended because love is eternally sworn. I have cried, prayed, and pleaded for that love to hold its ground. Hope was all I needed, pain was all I found."-Unknown._**

* * *

You know how usually when something like a big trip is coming the time seems to go so slow? Why is it that when your dreading said trip all of the preparation time seems to hit fast forward? I sit looking through my clothes trying to pick out clothes that wont give anything away. Though part of me knows that I am going to have to tell my Mom, the small, scared part of me is hoping I can just keep the secret. I could just show up on in about six months with a baby, but that might give her a hear attack. I groan inwardly, dreading this whole blasted trip.

" Hey you, almost done?" Jade asks, coming to sit next to me.

" Yeah almost. None of my clothes are going to fit me anymore soon, damn it Jade, how am I going to tell her?" I ask, throwing a pair of jeans into my suitcase.

" I don't know honey, but you'll have me, Edward, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie there to help you," she says, hugging me.

" I cant believe he isn't coming Jade," I say, closing my eyes. I have been very careful about saying his name. " I thought that everything would be perfect. I would finally have my happily ever after. We got married Jade. I never thought I would get married, not after seeing what my parents went through, but with Jas-, with him it just seemed so right. Like fate was guiding every step we took to get there. Now here I am, probably getting divorced, pregnant, and not even finished with my freshman year of college."

" Ana, he's going to come around, he always does. Jasper's just, slow on the emotional uptake, which is strange all things considered," she says, sitting on my suitcase so I can zip it up.

" Yeah, when? After I have the baby, or after he comes back from that stupid internship?" I ask, leaving her to contemplate the questions as I drag my suitcase downstairs.

" You need any help with that?" someone asks, and I jump slightly turning to see Jasper standing against his bedroom door, a suitcase at his feet.

" Where are you going? To check out London early?" I ask, turning back to pick up my suitcase.

" No, I'm coming to California," he says, and I stare at him for a minute.

" Why?" I ask, looking at him in shock.

" Because, I owe it to you, and to our baby," he says, walking downstairs with both of our bags. I feel my heart give a small tug and I try and ignore it, but one thing Jasper is always good at is making up for the stupid things he does. Then again he has had plenty of practice at apologizing.

* * *

" Emmett, please pull over somewhere, anywhere, I don't care if I have to pee in a bush, I'm serious," I say, squirming uncomfortably in my seat.

" Ana, we are almost to the next town, just be patient," Emmett says, apparent annoyance in his voice. I close my mouth and eyes praying that my bladder doesn't burst on the way. I open my eyes and see the sign for the gas station. I get out of the car, rushing to find the bathroom. I come out of the bathroom, relieved that I didn't embarrass myself, and find that I'm hungry. I walk up and down the aisles, my mouth watering at just about everything that I see.

" Hey woman, how are you feeling?" Jade asks, her hair slightly ruffled, evidence that she was sleeping.

" Hungry," I say, picking up a package of starbursts.

" Mmm. Going to have to get used to that, now that you have a bun in the oven," she says playfully rubbing my still flat stomach.

" I know, mmm cheetos," I say, grabbing a big bag of the snack food. I continue walking the aisles, Jade sleepily trudging behind me. "Ooo, an Aba-Zaba. Haven't had one of these in years." I smile as I add the candy to my ever growing pile of food.

" Ana, I think you have enough food there to put even Emmett to shame," she says, and I look at my full hands. I blush slightly as I make a beeline for the cashier. I walk out of the store, smiling as I get back into the car.

" Damn half-pint. Enough food don't you think?" Emmett asks, his voice teasing. I glare at him, pulling out a bag of sour gummy worms.

" And to think, I bought these for you. Guess I'll have to eat them now," I say, shoving the candy back into the bag.

" Come on, I was playing with you," he says, reaching for the bag. I give in easily, settling back into my seat, happily snacking on my food.

* * *

I wake up slowly, my stomach rolling disgustingly.

" Em," I whisper, sitting up slowly. He doesn't say anything so I groan deeply. " Em, you need to pull over."

" Come on half-pint, not again. We're a half an hour away, cant you hold it?" Emmett asks, annoyance clear in his tired voice. 'Note to self, an overly tired Emmett makes for a grumpy goose,'I think to myself even as my stomach gives another sick roll.

" I am about to throw up," I say hoarsely, covering my mouth with my hand. I hold onto my seat tightly as Emmett screeches to a halt on the side of the road. I open the door quickly barely able to stumble far enough from the car, losing everything in my stomach. I notice the weight of someone's hands holding my hair.

" You okay?" Jasper asks, and I stand up turning to look at him. I take the water bottle he extends to me.

" Just peachy. I was really hoping I would have been able to hide this from my mom, but I'm sure she will catch on, with this whole puking thing," I say, quickly rinsing my mouth out.

" It's going to be okay," he says, running a hand over my shoulder. I shrug off his touch.

" Easy for you to say," I say, walking back to the car. I get in wishing we could turn the car around and go back to Washington. I pull my knees to my chest, resting my head on my legs as I watch the scenery go by through the window. I smile softly as the rising song paints the desert in soft shades of light. I close my eyes, praying with everything inside of me that this wont turn out as bad as I think its going to.

* * *

"Ana," my Mom's excited voice is the first thing that greets me, before her arms circle around me pulling me into her warmth.

" Hi Momma," I say, breathing her in. She pulls away holding me an arms length away.

" Sweet girl, you look so much better. All but glowing," she says, sending a warm smile to the everyone standing behind me.

" You guys must be tired. Still cant believe you guys drove the whole way through," Mom says, ushering everyone into the kitchen.

" Tired, no we're all pretty wired from the coffee," Emmett says, easily making himself at home at the table.

" Well, I'm sure you all are pretty hungry. Ana, go show everyone where they will be sleeping," my Mom say, turning to the refrigerator, " I will get breakfast started."

" Oh, okay, yeah" I say, turning to the lead the way to the open living room. I see that my mom pushed the couches back leaving plenty of room for everyone to sleep, sprawled across the floor. I smirk, knowing that while I love my friends, I will be safely tucked away in the comfort of my old room.

" I guess this is where you guys will be sleeping," I say, watching as everyone sets down their bags.

" Works for me," Edward says, stretching out easily on one of the couches.

" Me too," Jade says, snuggling beside him, her eyes already closed.

" Well, I'm just going to go to my room, make yourselves at home," I say, grabbing my own suitcase, heading up the stairs. I open my bedroom door, a feeling of surprising sentiment washing over me. How many nights did I spend in this room with Jade, talking and dreaming of the way our lives would be when we grew up. Now here I am, wondering how it is that I am going to tell my mom that not only did I get married, but I'm pregnant.

" I suppose that if I were to try and stay in the same room as you, your mom would grow suspicious," Jasper's voice comes from the door way pulling me from my own thoughts.

" After tonight, I will be surprised if even I'm sleeping in this room," I say sadly, sitting on the corner of my bed.

" Ana," he says, stepping towards me, but the voice of my Mom calling us to eat interrupts him. I walk to him, taking his hand as we walk down stairs.

* * *

" Seriously the best meal I have had in days," Emmett says, leaning back in his chair patting his stomach.

" You would think he is half-starved to death," Rosalie says, bumping me jokingly.

" I know right, poor Emmy, starving to death and wasting away," I say, dumping the dishes into the sink. I start washing, listening the conversation buzzing around me.

" Let me take over for you Ana, go be with your friends," my Mom says, her hand brushing over my soapy left hand. I see her look down at the ring, a look of confusion on her face. " What's this?" I stare at her for a moment, silence falling over the kitchen. I look to the table my eyes locking on Jasper's.

" Well, hey, come on guys, we are going around town," Jade says, pulling Edward and Emmett from the table.

" Oh come one Jade, I want to see," Emmett's voice trails off, as Alice and Rosalie follow behind. I stand waiting to even attempt to explain this situation until I hear the front door close.

" Ana, what's going on?" Mom asks, and I sit down next to jasper, grasping my fingers together so tightly that it hurt.

" Mom, I, Jasper, we," I stammer, taking a deep breath.

" Jennifer, Ana and I got married," Jasper blurts out, and I look at him shocked. Well that was short, sweet, and straight to the point wasn't it?

" Right, I get it, this is some sort of joke right?" My mom asks, and I look at her, tears forming slowly. I shake my head slowly.

" No, it's not a joke," I say, watching her every reaction.

" You mean to tell me that my daughter, my twenty one year old daughter got married," she says, looking angrier by the second. " Next thing I know you'll, tell me that your pregnant." I swallow hard, dropping a hand to my stomach.

" I am," I say, and I cringe when she pushes away from the table, pacing back and forth, her face growing red with her apparent rage.

" I, I'm going for a walk," she says, and I get up rushing to her.

" Mom," I say, but she pushes past me.

" I cant even talk to you right now," she says, slamming the front door behind her. I stare at the door, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. Jasper wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly as I sink to the floor crying.

* * *

" Knock, knock," Jade says, her head peering around the door. I look up at her through puffy eyes, and sniffle loudly a fresh bout of tears streaming down my face. " Oh Ana." I cry as she hugs me close.

" She is never going to talk to me again Jade, I screwed up my life, and now she hates me," I say, gasping slightly over the tears.

" Ana, stop it. You didn't screw up your life, and your mother doesn't hate you. She was just caught off guard that's all," she says, stroking my hair to reassure me.

" I could really use some ice cream," I say, and I smile a watery smile when Jade chuckles.

" That's the best friend I know and love, tell you what. I am going to run to the store, get some Ben and Jerry's round up Rosalie and Alice and we will sit in your room, eat ice cream, and talk about all of our problems just like the good old days," she says, pressing a kiss to my forehead before leaving the room. A half an hour later all of us girls are scattered around my room eating ice cream, a comforting silence around us.

" I don't know if I can do this you guys," I say, taking a bite from my ice cream.

" Do what?" Alice asks, holding one of my stuffed bears on her lap.

" Have this baby," I say, and the room grows silent. I let out a shaky breath, looking up at everyone.

" Are you thinking about having an," Rosalie asks, looking so hurt by the thought that she cant even get the word out.

" No, no. I don't know," I say, admitting that for once I don't have all of the answers. My eyes dart to the door when there is a soft knock. The door opens and I see my Mom.

" Can you guys give us a minute?" my Mom asks, Jade, Rosalie, and Alice all getting up each one of the lightly touching my shoulder before they leave the room. I pull my knees to my chest, waiting for the fury of the storm to hit me.

" I know that I should probably apologize for the way that I acted earlier, but to be fair, I was completely blindsided. What were you thinking Ana?" she asks, sitting down next to me.

" Mom, I know. I shouldn't have just come here and dumped this all on you, but you had to know. I thought about hiding it from you, but I didn't want to lie to you. Mom, I'm sorry," I say, tears clouding my eyes. " I am sorry that I blindsided you, but I'm not sorry that I married Jasper."

" Ana, your twenty one years old, you have so much time left, so much time to do things like getting married and having a baby," she says, her voice weary. I don't know why, but for some reason I snap.

" I'm so tired of hearing that Mom. Don't do that Ana, your too young. Your too young to be in love Ana. What, is there some sort of age requirement that nobody told me about?" I ask, looking at her incredulously, my voice raising slightly.

" Annalisa Benson, you will not raise your voice at me," she says, her own anger matching mine.

" Mom, I regret keeping this from you, I do. I know that I should have told you, but I will never regret marrying the man that I am in love with, or having this baby," I say, crossing my arms defensively across my chest.

" I just don't want you to make the same mistakes that I made," she admits, and I sit down next to her.

" Was I a mistake Mom? Didn't marrying him, give you me?" I ask, " Do you regret that?"

" No, I could never regret having you sweet girl. I just never had the same opportunities that you have. What about college Ana? Your future. Your dream of owning your own recording label? Writing, are you ready to give up your dreams so soon?" she asks, taking my hands in hers. I give a watery smile and sigh.

" I wont be giving my dreams up Mom. I can finish college and have this baby. I will have all of the things I have always wanted, plus the things I never thought about wanting," I say, tears slowly falling down my cheeks. We sit in silence for a while, holding hands. My head on her shoulder, and I remember that this is how it used to be. Whenever I had a broken heart, or a bad day, this is exactly how Mom and I would sit. Not needing to say anything, just letting the silence heal whatever might be hurting.

" I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother," Mom says, expelling a huge breath. A soft knock on the door draws my attention away from my Mom. I watch as Jasper peeks his head into the room.

" Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Jasper says, backing away slowly.

" No, its okay, come in. I want to talk to both of you now," Mom says, and I watch as Jasper confidently walks in, taking a seat right next to me.

" I will apologize for acting the way that I did, but you guys blind sighted me to say the least. I need to know if you guys have a plan," she asks, looking at us seriously.

" Jennifer, I need you to know that I love your daughter very much, and this baby. While I am away in London, I will pick up a second job, send money to her and the baby, and when I come back we will be together," Jasper says, and I look at him dumbfounded. Feeling as if all of the air had been sucked from the room.

" Wait, back up a minute. Your still going? I'm pregnant Jasper, I'm having your child, and your going to traipse of to London for a year, and then come back? You wont be here when I have the baby?" I ask, getting off the bed to pace around the room.

" Ana, I'll come back. When its time for the baby to come, I will be there. I cant pass up an opportunity like this Ana, I just cant," he says, and I stare at him in shock, tears clouding my eyes.

" Jasper, you cant be serious? Ana is going to need you through all of this, you cant just leave," my Mom says as I start shaking from the tears.

" Jennifer, I understand that this doesn't sound good, but I will come back. I love her too much not too," he says, walking towards me, reaching a hand out to me.

" Don't touch me," I say, pulling away from him. " You say you love me too much. If that was the case Jasper you wouldn't even be thinking about just taking off to jolly old London. I don't care what an amazing opportunity it is. This is our child Jasper, ours. Not just mine," I say, looking at him furiously.

" I know that Ana, but you know that I have been waiting to get this internship for so long," he says, and I cut him off with a single withering look.

" And this internship is more important than your wife and child?" I ask, looking at him seriously, studying his emotions.

" Ana," he says, but I cut him off.

" It's a simple question Jasper, is this damn internship more important than me and this child?" I ask, laying a hand over my stomach. The silence is so staggering, it's deafening. " I see. Well go. Just go. Go to London, or go to hell for all I care," I say, sliding my wedding ring from my finger. I walk to him, taking his hand, I place the glinting ring that symbolized everything that I had felt for him in his palm. I close his hand over the ring, my hand wrapped tightly around his. " I love you Jasper, I would have done anything for you. I married you because I thought that what you and I had meant something to you. I'm carrying your child. I will love this child enough for the both of us, he or she will never know you, and that's sad, but I'm done. I cant do this anymore. I waited so long for you to come around, while you played your games. I wont do it anymore, and not just because I'm tired of it, I'm doing it for this baby, my baby, I will not allow this child to go through this, not from anyone, especially their father" I say, bitter tears falling slowly down my cheeks as I step away.

" You can't keep this baby from me Ana," he says, his hands tightening until his knuckles go white.

" How do you know its yours?" I ask, throwing the words that he had used against me just a few days before to burn him. " Get out. Get your bags, and get the hell out. When I get back to Washington, I'm moving out." I watch in bated silence as he walks towards the door, casting one fleeting look over his shoulder, unreadable emotion dancing in his eyes. I wait until the door closes behind him to sink to the floor, wrapping my arms tightly across my chest as if to keep myself from shattering into a million sharp pieces ,and weep.

" Oh baby, oh Ana," my Mom says, rushing to kneel with me. I cry into her shoulder, crying out my shattered heart.

" What did I do mom? What am I going to do?" I ask on a keening whale, rocking back and forth in rhythm with my sobs.


	46. Chapter 46: Who Would Have Thought

**Author's Note: Hello again everyone! How is everyone doing, splendidly I hope. Okay so to get all of the legal mumbo jumbo out of the way, I am not now or ever been Stephanie Meyer. I am Just Amber, so therefore, Twilight and its characters are not mine, although in my head Jasper's all mine. I do however own Ana, and Jade, and the new surprise addition!!! You guys curious yet, well wait before you scroll down, I wont keep you much longer. Okay, so I have to say thank you to everyone who contnues to read and review, you guys truly keep me going, and I love you all for it. Drum roll please, here is chapter 46 of ICFY!!!! AS ALWAYS READ/ENJOY/REVIEW :)**

**C****hapter 46: Who Would Have Thought**

**" **_**Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs then what you thought you were looking for."-Lawrence Block.** _

* * *

The rest of spring break passed by in a blur. A blur mostly made up of endless tear filled days, and nights spent awake, wondering where in the hell I had gone wrong. I walk downstairs, carrying my duffel bag over my shoulder, my big suitcase clunking loudly behind me.

" Ana, let me help you with that," Edward says, rushing forward to take my suitcase from me.

" Thanks," I manage to mumble out, walking slowly to the kitchen. I stand in the doorway, unable to stop myself from smiling, even in my depressed and shcoked state. Emmett sits at the kitchen table I had frequented since childhood, a sad and sullen look on his face.

" Do we have to leave?" Emmett asks, his voice carrying the same tone of sadness as his body language.

" I'm afraid so dear, but you remember what I said, you and everyone are more than welcome to come back and visit anytime you want," my Mom says, wrapping her arms around Emmett. The picture is almost amusing. My petit mother dwarfed by Emmett's over-sized frame. I clear my throat lightly, and both Emmett and my Mom look in my direction.

" Well, we'll be out in the car. I'm going to miss you Momma B," Emmett says, hugging her quickly once more, pressing a soft and almost shy kiss to her cheek.

" Thank you, for everything," Rosalie says, hugging my Mom next. I watch in silence as everyone leaves, one by one, giving us a few moments of the privacy that we need. I walk to her slowly, sighing sadly as I breathe in the scent of her.

" My sweet girl, you don't have to go back. You can stay here, transfer to a closer University, I can help with the baby," Mom says, pulling away to look at me, the look in her eyes tells me she is sincere in her offer. I shake my head, trying to blink away the tears.

" I'm not going to let him ruin my dreams for me Momma," I say, mustering up the best smile that I can.

" Stubborn, always have been, always will be. I just worry about you sweet girl, I don't want anything to happen to you, or my grand baby," she says, the protectiveness in her voice for my unborn child is almost humbling.

" I know Momma, but I'm a big girl now. It's time for me to act like it. I'll be looking for a new place as soon as we get home, I' keep you updated on how everything goes," I say, picking up my duffel bag. She walks me to the awaiting car, her arm wrapped around my waist. I climb into the car, looking at my Mom one last time, smiling softly as I close the door. I wave as we pull away, trying to stifle the tears. It's useless, so I slide my sunglass on, lowering my head as the tears wash down my face silently.

* * *

" Where were we supposed to meet Jade and Edward?" Alice asks, looking out of the window.

" The Marriott," I answer automatically, grimacing at the idea of having to see Jasper.

" I wonder how Jasper's spring break was," Rosalie says, her voice nonchalant.

" Who cares?" I blurt out, immediately feeling guilty. Rosalie is one of my best friends, and I hate to put her in the middle of this mess. But I'll be damned if I'm going to pretend like everything is okay where her brother is concerned.

" Ana," Emmett says sharply, his eyes piercing mine through the rear view mirror.

" Sorry," I mutter half heartedly. The ride to The Marriott was quick, and filled with silence. I watch as Edward gets out of the car and walks into the hotel, suddenly feeling tense. Five minutes pass by. Then ten. Finally after twenty minutes Edward emerges from the building a sulking Jasper behind him. I watch, slightly curious as to why they are walking towards our car, instead of Jade and Edwards.

" What in the hell do they think they are doing? He isn't riding with us," I say, not the least bit ashamed at my proclamation. Edward opens the door, looking at me seriously.

" I'm sorry but he has to ride with you guys, Jade refuses to let him ride with us," Edward says, an apologetic look on his face.

" He isn't coming in this car," I say, my back immediately stiffening as I stare ahead.

" Ana, be reasonable," Rosalie says, her voice strained. I look around the car, and everyone seems to be in agreement.

" Fine, you want him in this car, I'll ride with Jade and Edward," I say, picking up my bag. Moving so that I can slide out of the car.

" You cant. Our car is full with luggage," Edward says, blocking the door so that I cant get past him.

" Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous. Whatever idea you guys have cooked up, to force Jasper and I to be together isn't going to work. He made his choice," I say, anger bubbling in my voice.

" It isn't like that Ana," Jasper says, and I look at him coldly.

" Don't you dare talk to me," I say, pushing past Edward. " You guys want him in your car so damn bad fine. I'll find my own way home." I skirt around the car, walking quickly to where Jade sits watching what's going on. I pull open the back door, tugging my suitcase out.

" What are you doing?" Jade asks, pushing from the car trying to stop me from leaving.

" Finding my own way home," I say, trying to pass by her.

" What do you mean finding your own damn way home? Your riding with Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper," she says, trying to push me back towards the other car.

" Like hell I am. I'm going to the bus station, buying a ticket, and as soon as I'm in Washington I'm moving into my own place," I say, staring at her seriously.

" Ana, come on," she says, and I just glare at her.

" You know what's funny about this entire situation? Jasper chooses an internship in another country over our child and me, and everyone's treating me like I'm the one who screwed everything up. Be reasonable Ana, do this Ana, do that. You know what, I'm done. You guys can have him, I'm over this, and over all of you," I say, pushing past Jade, walking into the hotel to call a taxi. I hear them calling for me, but ignore their pleas. They want to treat me like I'm the bad guy here, then I'll be the bad guy.

* * *

Jade's POV

We were an hour and a half outside of Palmdale, and already my heart was breaking.

" What if something happens to her Edward? We should have never tried to force her to be with Jasper, not this soon after everything that happened," I say, my voice shaking at the thought of Ana on a bus full of strangers for a day.

" Jade, you know what Alice," Edward starts saying, and I just shake my head stopping him mid-sentence.

" I don't care what Alice saw Edward. My best friend, my pregnant, heartbroken best friend is on a bus, full of strangers, all because none of us knew how to butt the hell out," I say, annoyed with the whole situation. Who cares what Alice 'saw'. She could be wrong every once in awhile. Maybe trying to make Jasper and Ana fit together is like trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Impossible.

" She's going to be fine Jade," he says, his voice immediately soothing me. " Just try and get some sleep." I give in, laying my seat back. I close my eyes, dropping into nightmares of everything that could possibly go wrong.

**Jasper's POV**

**A week in a hotel, wasn't exactly how I pictured spending my spring break. I imagined it more like Ana and me, together, the way it should be. Until I screwed everything up again, as always. Why was I being so adamant about this stupid internship? **

" **Anyone hungry?" Emmett asks, interrupting my thoughts of self-loathing. Alice and Rosalie murmur in agreement, while I groan. The thought of food makes my stomach roll. I remain seated as Emmett and Alice push from the car. **

" **You guys go ahead, I'm just going to talk to Jasper for a second," Rosalie says, and I wait knowing the wrath that is about to fall on me. **

" **So, when are you going to tell me what the hell you were thinking," she asks turning in her seat to look at me. **

" **I don't know Rose, I wish I did," I say, feeling weary with my own pathetic answer. **

" **This is bullshit Jasper. Ana is your wife, she is carrying your child, my niece or nephew, and your most worried about a stupid internship, half way across the world? What would Mom and Dad think if the knew this? That their son, the one who once would have put everyone before himself, chose a year out of the country over his family?" she asks, her eyes fierce with her anger. **

" **I don't know Rosalie, whatever opportunity I had with Ana is gone now, so I'm just going to move on with my life, that way her and our baby can too," I say, my heart breaking at the thought of not spending my life raising our child, with Ana.**

" **You know Jasper, I used to look up to you. Try and be like you. More giving, humble, caring. I don't know who you are anymore. Ask yourself this, if you went to London, will it be worth it? Is losing Ana and your baby really worth this trip?" she asks, shaking me for an answer. I just sit, contemplating my words and what I should say. " You know what Jasper. I give up. Go to London, give the queen my best, but when you get back, don't be surprised if you find yourself homeless." I stare after her, shocked beyond belief. She cant be serious. Kicking me out of the house because things didn't work out between Ana and me. I slap my hand to my forehead, who am I kidding? It isn't as simple as things just not working out, I was stupid, no beyond stupid, and there's nothing I can do about it now. **

_

* * *

_

_Ana's POV_

I sit in the Sacramento Greyhound station, waiting patiently for my boarding time. Stupid Jasper, I should charge him the one hundred and fifty four dollars that it cost me to get this stupid ticket. To think, what could have been a short seventeen hour drive to Washington, transformed into an almost two day trip on a bus. Full of at least nobody knows me, I think to myself, sighing as I lay my head back, staring at the ceiling. I can't believe this. A thirteen hour layover in Sacramento. All of this hell, because my supposed friends decided to play Dr. Phil and try to force Jasper and I together. I check my cell phone. Twelve missed calls. I grimace at the imminent voice mails. Well, they made their choice. I press my hand to my rumbling stomach, hunger rolling through my body. I grab my purse and bags, walking from the station. I step into the bright sunlight, looking around.

" You lost?" a deep voice, hinted slightly with the south, rumbles from behind me. I nervously turn, pasting a fake smile on my face. The man standing behind me looks to not be that much older than me, so I smile easily.

" Uhm, actually I'm stuck here for another," I pull out my cell phone and look at the time. " Ten hours and forty five minutes, just looking for somewhere to get something to eat." He smiles easily, a crooked smile flashing perfectly straight and white teeth. I watch as he unbends himself, standing up. If it was a year ago I would have shrunk away from him, his size intimidating me. He was easily as tall as Emmett, possibly taller, however he lacked Emmett's muscular build. He was built more like Jasper. My heart lurches in my chest and a small ache courses through my body at the thought of him. However the resemblance that this man holds with Jasper ends at build. His black hair falls messily into his eyes, his impossibly deep and beautiful gray eyes, and his skin has the California beach tanned look to it.

" Heading to Washington," the stranger asks, and shock runs through me.

" Yeah, how'd you know?" I ask, unconsciously taking a step away from him.

" So am I. Back to school, back to reality," he says, and I smile glad to be around someone who is having to face a horrific layover.

" My name's Ana, by the way," I say, adjusting things in my hand so that I can offer my hand to him.

" Elijah," he says, taking my hand softly in his. I smile at him, my stomach suddenly growling loudly, causing my face to grow profusely red.

" Sorry, like I said I need to find some food," I say, laughing slightly.

" Well, how about some company?" he asks, picking up his bags, and I notice the guitar case he picks up last.

" Uhm, sure why not," I say, and we easily fall into step together, walking side by side to the closest restaurant.

* * *

" Seriously, I cant tell you how happy I am to have met someone, normal," I say, laughing as Elijah shakes his head.

" Yeah, take it from someone who has frequented Greyhounds, finding someone normal to talk to on the trip is close to impossible," Elijah says, looking at me and my phone which hasn't seemed to stop vibrating since we sat down to eat. " You going to answer that?" I stare at the phone as Emmett's number flashes across the screen.

" Yeah, sorry," I say, picking up my phone quickly. " Hey Emmett."

" Ana, why haven't you answered the phone until now?" Emmett's deep voice yells through the phone.

" Sorry, just don't really feel like talking to anyone," I say, my voice growing cold and distant.

" Listen, we understand that your pissed at us Ana, but taking a bus back home? Really Ana? How long is the trip anyways, a day?" he asks, his voice concerned.

" One day, twenty two hours and ten minutes actually," I say, answering automatically.

" Sweet Jesus Ana, just let us come get you. We'll move things around, have Jasper in the other car," he pleads with me and I just shake my head. " We'll strap him to the roof if we have to." I smile at the thought of seeing Jasper, strapped snuggly to the roof of Edward's car as it flies down the freeway.

" Emmett, as sweet as an offer as that is, and as much as I would like nothing more than to see Jasper strapped to the roof of a car, I'm going to have to say no. I need this trip, to think about what exactly I'm going to do. I will call or text you in a few hours, love you," I say quickly hanging up the phone. I sigh as I shut my phone off, hiting it as deeply as I can into my purse.

" Boyfriend troubles? Elijah asks, and I look at him blinking owlishly.

" Huh. No, just, it's a long, and exteremely compiacted story. Anyways, where are you from?" I ask, trying to place his accent.

" South Carolina, and we only have time, might as well get the story off your chest," he says, his voice sincere. I stare at him, his gray eyes shining in the light. Well, he asked for it, I think to myself as I open my mouth starting in on my story.

* * *

" Wow," Elijah says, sitting back to look at me, his eyes wide. " You weren't kidding were you? What's with this Jasper guy anyways? Where I'm from, family comes first, no matter what."

" I don't know what his problem is, and I don't have to anymore. He made his choice," I say, sipping my water slowly.

" Yeah your right. I just think it's a damn shame that he didn't see what a beautiful and wonderful woman he had," he says, and I blush fiercely.

" Thanks, your sweet," I say, pulling out my wallet to pay for my food.

" Don't even think about," he says, sliding my money back to me. " This one's on me."

" No, its fine, I can pay," I say, feeling guilty over the fact that he wants to pay. He just stares at me as the waiter comes by and before I can hand over my cash he hands him his credit card. I smile folding up some of the money to leave it on the table. " Fine, I'm leaving the tip."

" If you insist," he says, laughing as we gather our things and leave the restaurant. We walk in companionable silence back to the bus station, and find two of the only available seats.

" Well, only about seven and a half hours to go," I say, looking at the clock on the wall. The bus station is alive and buzzing with people, waiting. Some impatiently pacing, while other find other means to pass the time.

" Oh joy. I never understood these long layovers," Elijah says, and I nod in agreement.

" So what do you do in Washington? Work, go to school?" I ask, shifting in my seat so that I'm sitting cross legged, facing him.

" Both. School and work. I go to the University of Washington, studying Psychology," he says, and I stare at him in shock. " What, is there something on my face?" he asks, wiping a wide palmed hand over his face.

" No, sorry, its just, that's where I go to school," I say, shaking my head lightly. " Small world huh?"

" No way, you go to U.W? he asks, staring at me in just as much disbelief as me.

" Yeah," I say, laughing suddenly.

" What dorm do you live in?" he asks, his long fingers strumming his guitar strings lightly.

" I don't. I live, or more like lived with some friends, but with everything that's going on, looks like I will be finding an apartment as soon as I get home," I say, my musicians ear picking up the familiar chords.

" Ahh, yeah dorm life wasn't for me either. So I saved up for a few years, for tuition and enough to get me settled into an apartment," he says, and I smile. Thankfully I was smart enough to save what was left from every pay check after rent, so being able to afford an apartment wouldn't be such a hurdle. We fall into silence, my mind wandering as Elijah strums along on his guitar, and I find myself thankful, that fate found fit to put someone here that I can be with.

* * *

Seven and a half hours later Elijah and I find ourselves standing in line waiting to get on the bus, and I shift anxiously. I'm beyond tired and looking forward to sinking into a seat and sleeping.

" Oh shit," Elijah murmurs, his southern accent more noticeable, as his hands search his pockets.

" What's the matter?" I ask, looking over my shoulder at him.

" I cant find my boarding pass. Shit. Okay I'm going to run to the bathroom and try and find it, if you get on the bus before I get there, save me a seat," he says, and I smile nodding as he steps out of line. I walk through the door of the station showing my boarding pass. The driver nods to me as I set my suitcase by the bus, praying that it gets loaded. I climb into the bus, and spot two seats in the very back of the bus. I easily push through the few passengers getting situated, setting my bad on the seat next to mine. I get settled and watch as people start pouring into the bus. I sit up further keeping an eye out for Elijah.

" Come on, where is he?" I ask myself, standing up to see if he slipped in without me noticing. Why do I care so much if he gets on this bus? I ask myself, sitting back down. Probably because around him I feel safe, familiar almost. Easy to talk to, same interests, and besides we're going to the same place. Better to stick together in my book. I look out the window, trying to reassure myself that there is nothing more to these unwarranted feelings towards this stranger. A soft touch on my shoulder causes me to jump and let out a small scream. I press a hand to my galloping heart, and smile when I notice Elijah, his lips forming that perfect crooked smile.

" Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Elijah says, sitting next to me easily.

" That's okay. Thought you weren't going to make it," I say, smiling as I settle back into the seat.

" And leave you without your bus buddy? Not on your life," he says, and I laugh quietly as the bus pulls out of the station.

* * *

" Ana," a deep voice calls to me and I stir sleepily. There's an un-familiar scent wafting around me, but its comforting. I open my eyes and look over, Elijah's equally tired face smiles at me. " We're in Redding, half hour stop."

" Mmm'kay," I say, sitting up slowly. My stomach rolls and I groan, bending over.

" You okay?" he asks, and I look up at him shaking my head. I get off the bus as fast as I can and make my way to the bathroom in just enough time. I step out of the bathroom, glad that I grabbed my bag before rushing off the bus. My teeth freshly brushed, I feel somewhat human, even though the evil little demon known as morning sickness is determined to make my life a living hell.

" Ahh, the joys of pregnancy," Elijah says, and I laugh slightly, blushing. " don't worry about it, my sister had the same problem with her oldest."

" Yeah, well if I never throw up again a day in my life, I will be happy as a clam," I say, walking towards a vending machine.

" Are you going to keep the baby?" he asks, and I turn slowly to look at him. I know that the friendship has been a quick and easy one for me and him, but that was a little to personal for my liking. " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."

" No its fine, and to answer you, yes I am keeping the baby," I say, carefully opening the ice cold Sprite.

" That's going to be tough, college and a baby," he murmurs, and I smile.

" I know. But I was raised by a single mom, I know I can do it," I say, walking towards the doors. I breath in the night air as I slide against a wall to sit down, a small chill in the air. I shiver slightly, and smile when Elijah wraps his hooded sweater around me.

" Thanks," I say, cuddling into the warmth.

" Look, I shouldn't have butted in that way, especially since we barely know each other. But there is just something about you Ana, I cant quite place my finger on it," he says, his voice sounding strained.

" No, it's okay, I feel the same way. It feels like even though I just met you, I've known you my entire life," I say, laughing and shaking my head. " Wow that didn't sound cliché-ish at all."

" Well, as much of a cliché as it sounds, I totally agree," he says, smiling as we settle into silence.

* * *

" I didn't think that bus trip would ever end," I say, grabbing my suitcase.

" I know, seems to go by so slow with so many stops," Elijah says, kicking his suitcase nervously. " Well, I guess this is where we part ways, bus buddy."

" Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, for everything. I don't think I would have been able to survive that trip without you," I say, hugging him on impulse. I hold onto him, feeling somewhat sad by the idea that I might not see him again. True, we may go to the same school, but it's a big place, with thousands of students, likelihood of us running into each other again is slim to none.

" It was no problem. I'm glad I met you Ana," he says, pulling away. He turns to walk away and I turn just in time to see Jade and Alice walking towards me. I start walking towards them. " Hey Ana wait." I turn and smile as Elijah runs towards me.

" Yeah," I say, looking at him. He pulls out a pen and takes my hand, writing something quickly.

" That's my cell number. Give me a call sometime, maybe we can hang out or something," he says, hugging me quickly before walking towards his own group of waiting friends. I'm still smiling as I turn back to confused and questioningly looks from Jade and Alice.

" Don't ask," I say, walking past them. I doubt if anything will ever happen with me and Elijah, because the heart ache left from Jasper is enough to swallow me whole, but for the last day, twenty two hours, and ten minutes, he has been one of my best friends. I smile as I climb in the car, adding his number to my phone. I stare through the window and the rain and wonder what's awaiting me at home.


	47. Chapter 47: Wasted On You

**Author's Note: Legal Mumbo Jumbo: I am not now, nor have I ever been Stephanie Meyer, so I dont own Twilight....but in my head I own Jasper.....but that doesnt count. Anyways, here you guys go, and in total agreement with some of my reviews, yes Jasper is a dip shit lol, but I promise you its to better the story, what's love without a little struggle. Anyways, here it is Chapter 47. As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 47: Wasted On You**

"_**It's so hard to say "I love you", and not draw back in tears. It's so hard to know that your not there to help me face my fears. It's so hard to know the phones at reach, but I cannot hear your voice. It's so hard to see you laughing when I'm crying deep inside. It's so hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide. It's so hard to live without you, when I need you more then air. I want to scream how much I love you, but I must hold back and not be heard. It's so hard to go to sleep at night when I cannot dream of you. It's so hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new. It's so hard to not start crying when I hear your favorite song. It's so hard to sit and wonder, where did I go wrong?"**_

* * *

I pull my car over at the last available apartment complex close enough to school.

" I don't know what I am going to do if I don't get this one," I say, looking over at Jade.

" Oh I don't know, stop being unreasonable and realize that you belong at the house, with us," Jade says, looking at me seriously.

" Don't start with me Jade," I say, as I get out of the car and head towards the rental office. I cross my fingers as I knock on the door.

An hour later I excitedly bounce to my car. I got the apartment, I cant believe I got the apartment.

" I cant believe I got it so easily," I say, starting the car. Jade remains quiet and a part of me feels bad for my enthusiasm. " Jade, you have to know that just because I'm moving out doesn't mean that anything will change, between us I mean."

" That isn't the point Ana, we were supposed to be doing this together, and here you are your own apartment," she says, fiercely blinking away the tears. I don't know what to say to that, because she was right. Before we even made it to Washington we promised each other that no matter what happened, we would never leave each other. I drive us home, and get out of the car, having lost some of my happiness.

" I'm sorry Ana, I know that this is the right thing for you to do, but it doesn't mean that I have to like it." I hug Jade tightly and smile.

" You'll see, nothing will change," I say, walking arm in arm with her into the house. Honestly hoping that, that is true. Who am I kidding, no amount of distance will change anything between me and Jade. I hope.

* * *

I sit down, exhausted from my efforts. Half of my stuff already boxed and moved to my new apartment. Part of the reason I got the place was because they were looking for someone to take it as soon as possible. It had been fixed up and cleaned, sitting for months, costing them money instead of making it for them.

" I just don't see why you have to go," Emmett says, unscrewing my bed for me. I smile at him, feeling a subtle hint of guilt.

" You know why I have to go Emmett," I say, getting up to finish boxing my closet.

" It just doesn't make any sense. Jasper leaves in a little over two months, and after that you don't have to deal with him anymore. Your just running away from it all," he says, and I turn slowly to look at him.

" Damn right I'm running away," I say, anger and sadness rising inside me. " I'm not going to lie to you Em. I'm going to miss the hell out of you. You might have to come over some mornings to sing obnoxiously loud in my apartment."

" You don't have to leave Ana," Jasper's voice comes from the door way, causing my blood to run ice cold.

" What is he doing here, Emmett I thought you said he was going to be gone until I was done," I say, wrapping my arms tightly and protectively around myself.

" Ana, you are being ridiculous, I'm sorry but you are. This whole thing is just so blown out of proportion. You don't have to leave, your choosing to leave," Jasper says, his words cutting into me.

" Your right. I don't have to leave, but if I stay it will kill me," I say, my voice growing weaker by the second. I stay turned away from Jasper not wanting to look into his eyes. I stay that way until I hear Jasper leave, shutting the door to his room.

" Ana," Emmett says my name lightly, laying a hand on my shoulder. I shake off his hand. I know that everyone means well, but continually trying to push Jasper and me together is only going to drive us all apart.

" Em, thanks for the help. I just need to be alone now," I say, trying to muster a smile. I watch as he sadly leaves the room, and I throw myself into my work. Packing boxes, sorting clothes. I am just getting to the last few things in my closet when I find a picture I had snapped of me and Jasper, laying on his bed, a happier time. I sit against the wall of the closet, staring at the picture, tears clouding my eyes. The I set the picture aside picking up the sweater that I had stolen from Jasper. I draw it close to me, smelling him on it. I bury my head into the fabric and weep, slowly being consumed by my heart ache.

" Ana," Alice's small voice calls to me, and I slowly look up to her, barely able to make her out through my watery eyes. " Ana, why are you doing this to yourself?" I watch as she sits down across from me, her face a mask of concern and worry.

" I cant stay here Alice. Jasper made his choice, and we both have to live with it. I just can't do that here. I cant live with the choices made as long as I'm here," I say, still tightly clutching the sweater in my hands.

" Why not? He's going to be gone in two months, gone for a year. You don't have to leave, and do this on your own," she argues back, and I just look at her.

" I cant live here Alice, when everything about this place screams Jasper. Every room holds him in it. Every time I would walk by his door I would think about everything that we had. I would think about the times that he made me laugh, or the times that he held me. This place would constantly haunt me. And every single day I would be reminded that I was not enough. That there was something inside of me that wasn't worth him staying. So, yes Alice I have to leave, because if I don't, the heart ache and pain would swallow me whole, I wouldn't have a fighting chance of moving on with my life," I say, letting out a shaky breath.

" Okay, well, lets get you moved then," she says, getting to her feet, extending her hand to me. I take it and hug her, a feeling of relief washes over, finally someone understands.

* * *

" Well, I guess that's it," I say, standing in the kitchen looking at everyone, except for Jasper. Who hasn't left his room since our brief discussion. I take my house key off my key ring and start to hand it to Rosalie who only smiles sadly, closing my hand over it.

" Keep it. This way you know you can always come home," Rosalie says, hugging me tightly.

" Are you sure you don't want us to come with you Ana, we can help you unpack. Order in some food, make a night of it," Emmett says, and I smile broadly.

" No, its okay. I'll see you guys tomorrow okay, and as soon as I am completely unpacked I will have you guys over for dinner," I say, hugging everyone.

" Bye Ana," everyone says in unison, Jade taking my hand, walking me to my car.

" You know that if you ever need anything Ana, you just have to call, or come over," Jade says, looking at me. I smile nodding my head, all the while my heart breaking at the idea of leaving my best friend.

" I know. Now get inside, have a good night, I will call you as soon as I get home," I say, climbing into my car. I watch as she walks back to the door, casting a look over her shoulder. She gives me a small wave, and I wave back. I take a deep breath before starting my car, pulling away from everything that matters to me, and my heart breaks.

* * *

Two hours later I have successfully managed to unpack all of my clothes. I sit looking at my bedroom closet, smiling with self satisfaction. I get up walking to my new kitchen, opening my fridge for a bottle of water. I open it taking a quick drink, before turning on my stereo. I check the time and see that its only seven thirty. So I crank the volume. Nothing like some good music to motivate me to get things done quickly. I get back to unpacking, deciding to move things to their coordinated rooms. I am busily unpacking my kitchen when loud banging on my front door jolts me from my concentration. I turn my music down, wiping my arm over my forehead.

" Hello," I say, looking up, and I'm shocked to see Elijah standing before me. " Elijah?"

" Ana?" Elijah echoes back, surprise apparent on his face.

" What are you doing here?" I ask, stepping aside so that he can come in.

" I live here. Well not in this very apartment, but in this complex. I'm just downstairs. What are you doing here?" he asks, and I smile. Seems like fate is definitely working her mysterious hand in my life.

" No way, I just moved in, if you couldn't tell," I say, looking around at the boxes.

" Wow. This is crazy, I honestly didn't think that I would ever see you again," he says, leaning against the counter in my kitchen. " Especially since I haven't heard from you since our bus buddy days."

" I know, sorry about that. Just been busy, classes, work, finding an apartment," I say, pulling out another bottle of water, offering it to him.

" It's cool, I totally understand. Actually that's why I was coming up here, your music was disturbing my half-hearted attempt at studying," he says, chuckling his deep and easy laughter.

" Sorry. I find that the louder the music, the better I work," I say, hopping easily up on the counter. 'Wont be able to do this much longer,' I think to myself.

" No its okay, you actually saved me. I think if I would have tried to force myself into studying my brain would have melted," he says, and I laugh, totally understanding the feeling. " So, are your friends coming to help you unpack?"

" No, they offered, but its kind of like, I want to do this on my own you know? Completely start over, brand new," I say, feeling dumb for the way that I feel.

" Yeah, I get it. Too bad, I was going to offer my amazing unpacking skills to help you too," he says, and I smile at him. What could it hurt, a new friend helping me unpack, cant be a bad thing.

" Well if you really want to help, I wont stop you, but I will totally understand if you have to get back to that studying of yours," I say sarcastically, trying not laugh. If he is anything like me he is looking for a reason, any reason to not subject himself to the horrors of studying and memorization.

" Nah, the studying isn't that important. I suppose I can help," he says, and I smile clapping my hands enthusiastically.

" I was hoping you would say that. I have a super spectacular special job, just for you," I say, sliding off the counter, leading him towards my bedroom.

" Oh is that so?" he asks, and I nod, opening my bedroom door to reveal my bed in all of its pieces.

" You good with your hands?" I ask, peering over my shoulder at him.

" Yeah," he says, and I hand him the bag with the screws and tools.

" Have at it, I'm going to get back to the kitchen," I say, laughing as I go. This whole living on my own thing, is looking better and better.

* * *

I sit across from Elijah, watching as he works efficiently on my bed. I finished the kitchen and for now that's all I have to do, seeing as how I need to get living room furniture.

" Your awfully quick with your hands there Elijah," I say, staring in amazement at the fluidity of his movements.

" My dad owns his own handy man service. From the time I was twelve until I left for school, I would help him on jobs. So yeah, I guess you could say I'm quick with my hands," Elijah says, and i blush at the look in his eyes. I know that I will eventually have to move on, but the unsuspecting thoughts coursing through my head bother me, so I clear my throat nervously thinking of the best way to discretely change the subject.

" So, would you know where to find some nice, but not so expensive furniture?" I ask, handing him another screw when he holds his hand out to me.

" That depends, what are you looking for?" he asks, and I think about it for a second.

" Couches, tables and chairs," I say, getting to my feet so that I can find my sheets.

" Well, you can always go the tried and true way and look at Wal-Mart or Target, or you can always check out garage sales," he says, standing up to stretch. I laugh uncontrollably tears coming to my eyes. " What's so funny?"

" You just don't strike me as a garage sale type of guy," I say, shaking my head with amusement.

" Well, if you aren't busy this weekend, I will take you around, and show you just how much of a garage sale guy that I am," he says, and I smile.

" Sounds like a plan to me," I say, helping him put my mattress on the bed.

" Well, I better get going. Cant keep putting that studying off, or I will end up failing," he says, walking to the door.

" Okay, well I will try and keep my music down," I say, smiling as I watch him step out onto the porch.

" You do that, don't want to have to come back up here," he says, and I smile knowing that he isn't being completely honest. " Welcome to the neighborhood Ana, don't be a stranger." I smile, conflicting feeling coursing through me as he runs a hand down my cheek. I close the door behind me, wondering what it is that I am actually feeling for Elijah. Is it that I am so easily falling out of love with Jasper, or is it that I am just seeking a bond with someone who seems safe? I continue to contemplat and question my own feelings as I unpack the rest of my things.

* * *

" Hey," I say into my phone, laying on my bed staring at my ceiling.

" Ana, you okay?" Jade's sleepy voice asks, and I smile, eyes watering.

" Yeah, no," I say, closing my eyes against the tears.

" What's wrong?" she asks, and I lay ashamed that I am clutching Jasper's sweater to me like a baby holding onto her safety blanket.

" I thought, moving out, leaving the place that reminds me so much of him, that I would forget. That it would somehow not hurt as much, but I was wrong. It hurts even more," I say, crying freely as I confess everything to my best friend.

" Ana, come home, just for the night," she says, but even before the words fully register with me I'm shaking my head.

" I cant Jade. How will I ever be able to live without him, if I go running back to the one place that reminds me the most of him, everytime that I think about him?" I ask, looking down with disgust at the sweater that I can't seem to let go of. " What if I can't ever forget about him Jade? What if I spend the rest of my life remembering everything about him. The way he laughs, smiles, smells, or the cute way that he rubs his forehead when he is thinking too hard? What if he goes to London and meets someone else, someone better than me? What if he falls in love, and it isn't with me?"

" Ana, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You just can't. If you keep letting him get inside of your head this way, your going to make yourself crazy. I was against you moving Ana, but I can see now that it was the right thing for you to do. You have to be strong now Ana, and not just for yourself, but for your baby," she says, and I take a deep breath, blowing out a shaking stream of air.

" Thank you, Jade. You're the best friend a girl could ever have," I say, breathing easier, feeling at ease.

" So, anything interesting happen on your first night in the new apartment," she asks, and I smile, blushing deeply at the though of Elijah.

" No, well, kind of, maybe," I say, dancing my way around my words.

" Oooo, this sounds good, spill it woman, details, details," she says, and I laugh slightly.

" Okay, okay, well, you remember my bus buddy?" I ask, waiting in the silence to see what she says.

" Yeah. Tall guy, really cute, what about him?" she asks, and I roll my eyes wondering why I am so nervous to tell her that he lives in the apartment beneath mine and we spent the evening together, unpacking my apartment.

" Well, he lives in this complex. The apartment right under mine," I say, and I listen counting the seconds it takes before Jade says something.

" Wait, you mean to tell me, that super cute bus buddy that you spent almost two whole days attached to the hip with, not only goes to our school, but he lives in the apartment under yours?" she asks, her voice somewhat off.

" Yeah, geeze Jade, its no big deal, just coincidence," I say, looking towards the living room, thrown off somewhat by the knock on the door. " Hey I have to let you go, someone's at the door, I'll see you tomorrow." I hang up the phone before she can say anything. I slide on Jasper's sweater, a chill running across my skin as a whole new heart ache sets in. I open the door smiling as I look up, expecting to see Elijah standing on my porch. Instead, its Jasper. My heart sinks into my stomach, beating achingly fast and hard against my rib cage. Embarrassment washing over me from head to toe, as I realize that I am standing before him with red rimmed eyes wearing a sweater that I had taken from him when things were good for us.

" Can I come in?" Jasper asks, and I just move aside, letting him come in, wondering if I will have any sense of self-worth after this is over.

* * *

I stand with my back to the door, fighting to look away from Jasper, but I soon find that I cant seem to pull my eyes away from him.

" What are you doing here Jasper?" I ask, wishing that I had slammed the door in his face instead of letting him in.

" I went for a drive, after you left tonight, and somehow I ended up here," Jasper says, running a hand through his hair. " What I said to you earlier was wrong Ana. None of this is your fault. I shouldn't have implied that it was. I just want you to know that I love you Ana," he says, stepping towards me. I shake my head walking past him.

" You cant do this to me Jasper, I wont let you do this to me. You say you love me, and yet your going to leave. You made your choice Jasper, and I'm trying to live with it," I say, pacing around the living room of my apartment.

" Trying to live with it? How Ana? By moving away from everyone that loves you, laying in bed crying, wearing my sweater?" he asks, and I stop moving, staring at him closely. I quickly remove the sweater and thrust it at him.

" How I choose to live with it is my business. I want you to leave Jasper," I say, walking back to the door. I open it, waiting for him to walk through it.

" I'm not going anywhere Ana, not until I talk some sense into you," he says, and I snap. Tears start streaming down my face and I fight for air.

" You did this Jasper. You chose London over our child, over me. I married you, when marriage was the last conceivable thing I ever wanted from life, but I married you. I thought you and I could make it. I love you so much that I honestly believed that whatever came our way, couldn't be as hard as what we have already gone through. God, I was so wrong. Do you want to hear how I will cry every day that your gone? Because I will. Or how I will find a way to get another one of your sweatshirts just so I can remember the way that you smell? Or how hard it's going to be to have this baby and know that its half of you, and that you wont be here to see him or her? I can't stand here and tell you I am okay with you going to London, because I know that's what you want to hear. I know that you want to hear that I understand, and that I will wait for you, because I cant do that. I'm not okay, with you leaving me, or going to London. But I swear, I will be one day. One day I will find someone who will love me enough, and even when that day comes, I will still love you. The saddest part of all of this is that I somehow let you get inside of me, you have taken over my entire existence. Your in my head, and in my heart. Whether I'm awake or asleep you're here, and here," I say, tapping my hand against my head, and then my heart, " That's the saddest damn part of it all. No matter what I do, you will never be gone. No amount of time, no matter who may or may not come into my life, nothing is going to erase your memory. So I am asking, no I am pleading with you, just leave. I want you gone, I want to move on. I don't want you here, I cant have you here, not anymore." I stand firm, my eyes clouded with tears that I refuse to let fall. I watch as Jasper slowly walks towards me, but instead of walking out of the door he stands in front of me, close enough that I can feel his breath sweep across my face. I shiver instinctively and for one short moment part of me wishes that he would just lean in and kiss me. He opens his mouth, and shuts it quickly. Reminding me of the first time him and I had a personal conversation, just me and him, when I told him that he reminded me of a goldfish. I watch as he shakes his head, my breath catching in my throat as he walks out of the door. I listen as his footsteps echo down the stairs, and when I know that he is out of sight, I turn to shut the door. I press a shaky hand to my heart, my breathing frantic as I fight the tears. I just need to close the door and then I can lose it. But the door wont close. I look up and see Elijah staring down at me, his gray eyes filled with emotion.

" Ana," Elijah says, and before I can stop myself, I launch myself into his arms. I feel secure in his embrace, and I bury my face into his chest, crying so hard no noise can come out. I feel Elijah maneuver me so that we are in my apartment, and he closes the door behind him, sliding us both to the floor, he cradles me in his arms, allowing me to weep out the rest of my shattered heart.


	48. Chapter 48: The Final Goodbye

**Author's Note: Well, I want to thank everyone for their reading and reviewing, seriously you guys make my day. I hope that Everyone enjoys the latest installment of ICFY! As Always READ/ENJOY/REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I am not now nor have I ever been, or ever will be Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I do not own Twilight or the beautiful characters withing said story. However, Ana, Jade, and Elijah are mine :) And I think they are pretty dandy. Anydoodles, onto Chapter 48!!!!**

**Chapter 48: The Final Goodbye**

" _**I think of you in silence, I often speak your name, all I have left are memories, and a heart around your name. My heart aches with sadness and all my tears will flow, but what it meant to lose you no one will ever know." **_

* * *

Two months have flown by, and I walk from my final class, feeling confidant that I aced my last final for the year.

" Hey, how'd it go?" Elijah's familiar voice comes from behind me, and I smile as he takes my bag and books from me. For the last two months I have spent the majority of my time with him. Whether we were studying, or just lounging between his apartment and mine, he has been my constant rock.

" Good. I have to thank you again, for staying up with me all night last night, I probably would have failed if it wasn't for you," I say, gently pressing a hand to my stomach. I wince and stop walking, taking a deep breath.

" You okay?" he asks, a look of worry on his face. " What did I tell you, we had an agreement. No early labor for you okay, especially when I'm around."

" No worries buddy, she's just being rowdy that's all. Probably throwing her own little in womb party, glad that all of the stress of school is over," I say, laughing as I rub a hand over my extended stomach. Pregnancy seems to be agreeing with me, at least that's what everyone close to me tells me. Doesn't matter that I cried like a baby just a month earlier when I couldn't button my jeans, even when I tried the whole laying on the bed trick, though Jade and Elijah are the only ones who know about that fiasco.

" Ahh, so it's a girl then," he says, smiling at me brightly.

" Damn it," I say, picking my pace back up. I had been trying to keep the sex of my unborn child a secret, from everyone. Save for Jade, Alice, and Rosalie who all insisted to join me on the day that I found out.

" Yeah, it's a girl," I say, stopping at the corner of the courtyard. I look around, wondering where everyone is. We had agreed to meet at four. I smile when I see my friends walking towards me.

" Hey momma," Emmett says, running a hand over my stomach. For some unknown reason, Emmett has become obsessed with my ever extending stomach.

" Emmy, what did I tell you, you don't get to touch my tummy until I get a compliment from you once a day," I say, swatting his hands away. It was a game that the girls and I had cooked up. The only way he could touch my stomach is if I get a compliment, if he gives me the same compliment twice, he loses baby tummy touching privileges for a day.

" Ugh fine, Ana, you're a goddess, the most beautiful pregnant woman ever," he says, and I giggle letting him touch my stomach.

" See, was that so hard?" I ask, smiling when my baby gives a quick kick. Emmett jumps in surprise. He was the last one left to feel the baby move, save for one other person. My heart aches at the thought of Jasper.

" Wow," he says, staring in amazement at my stomach. " I want one." I stare in shock, looking at Rosalie's mortified face.

" Whatever you are thinking Emmett McCarthy Cullen, get it straight out of your head," Rosalie says, her face stained with pink.

" But babe," he says, and the group erupts in laughter. I shake with laughter, when Rosalie flashes a look at me.

" You started this, if he doesn't stop bugging me about babies and I end up pregnant I will hold you personally responsible," Rosalie says, which only makes me laugh harder. We walk out of the courtyard our laughter still echoing off the walls.

* * *

" So are you going to be there tonight?" Jade asks, nonchalantly thumbing through one of my pregnancy magazines. I will admit, just like I'm accused, I have become obsessive. Reading every available pregnancy magazine, book, anything I can get my hands on. I cant count how many nights I stayed up googling different things, reading all available information until my eyes burned and I fell asleep, face on my keyboard.

" Be where?" I ask, looking through my cabinets in search of something to eat.

" The house. The party. You know, Jasper's sending off," she says, and I freeze. For the last two months, I have easily been able to completely avoid Jasper all together. Being at the house when he was gone, text message from everyone when he would be back at the house so I could leave before he got home, saving us both from an embarassing and akward situation.

" I don't think that would be smart. It would be better if I just stayed as far away as I can," I say, looking at the cabinet with a blank expression.

" Ana, your going to have to face him sooner or later. You will have all of us to back you up, hell even bring Elijah, but you have to do this. You need the closure," she says, rubbing a hand down my back. I hadn't even noticed that she was standing with me.

" I know your right, but," I trail off shaking my head. No, I cant run from this anymore. I cant run from him, or this moment. I owe it to myself, but more importantly I owe it to my baby. I run a hand protectively over my stomach. " I'll be there."

" That's my girl," she says, hugging me.

* * *

" Are you sure you want to do this? I can turn the car around right now," Elijah says, looking over at me as I squirm nervously in my seat. I expel a deep breath.

" Of course I'm not sure I want to be doing this, but I have to. Jesus," I whisper, pushing on my stomach.

" What's the matter?" he asks, stopping at a red light.

" Nothing, she just has this way of getting her foot right under my ribs," I say, trying to drag in a deep breath. Elijah places his hand on my stomach, and a small tingle of electric energy passes between us.

" Sorry," he says, swiftly taking his hands from my stomach, gripping the steering wheel. The last two months with Elijah have been great. He's been my constant shoulder to cry on, and I have been struggling over conflicting feelings. Wondering why it is that even though I am still in love with Jasper, I cant stop feeling drawn to Elijah. I close my eyes, and open them just in time to see that we are pulling up in front of the house that I used to call home. My palms grow cold and clammy and I almost tell Elijah to just start the car and pull away. I let out a shaky breath as I open the car door slowly.

" You ready sugar?" Elijah asks, holding his hand out to me. I smile slowly lacing my fingers with his, and walk to the door. I lift my hand to knock just as the door opens revealing a smiling Jasper. I look at him as he looks at me, his smile fading slowly as he see's my hand intertwined with Elijah's.

I brush past Jasper with a small hello, finding my way to the rest of the group, Elijah in tow.

" Ana-banana you made it," Emmett says, hugging me closely.

" Of course I did," I say, laughing slightly.

" You okay?" Emmett asks, his voice a soft whisper in my ear. I nod my head, my mouth too dry for me to talk. I sit down heavily in my seat, and watch as people mill around the house. Most of them I don't know, but some I recognize from work. I blush deeply when Veronica approaches me.

" Hello sweetheart," Veronica says, bending down to hug me.

" Hello," I say, trying not to make eye contact with her. Veronica kept her cool when she found out about Jasper and I being married, and even when she found out that I was pregnant. I was half expecting her to blow up, at the very least for her to fire me. She didn't. Instead she was enthusiastic and happy for us both. Until she found out that Jasper was still going to London, and had annialated my heart. I thought my mom was scary when she angry, Veronica was down right terrifying. I watch as she sits down next to me, taking my hand in hers.

" Ana, can I ask you something," she asks, and I look at her, nervously shaking my head.

" Yes," I say, resting my free hand on my stomach.

" Are you okay?" she asks, concern glittering in her eyes, eyes that were so much like her son's.

" Honestly, no. I have to keep reminding myself that I have to move on, that I have a child to think about, but it doesn't stop the ache," I say, rubbing my stomach as my unborn child moves around.

" If I could I would beat some sense into my son. He doesn't know what he's losing, and it breaks my heart," she says, and I smile sadly.

" I just hope that you know, that no matter what I will never keep you, your husband, or Rosalie out of this childs life," I say, and she hugs me tightly.

* * *

The rest of the night went on without a hitch. I smile as the last of the guests leave.

" Ugh, I didn't think it would ever end," Rosalie says, flopping down onto the couch. I look at her perplexed. Rosalie was never one to complain about a party.

" It wasn't that bad," Alice says, walking around picking up discarded cups as she went.

" So, what time does Jasper's flight leave?" I ask, and everyone looks at me shocked. I know that Jasper is up in his room, with Emmett and Edward, finishing his packing. He always has had the tendency of putting things off to the last minute, so why should this be any different.

" Twelve thirty five," Rosalie says, and I check my watch. It was only a quarter to ten. Jade changes the subject quickly and soon the time is flying by. I look at the time realizing that Jasper would be leaving any second now.

" I'll be right back," I say, walking towards the stares. I look up the stairs, trying to gather my thoughts. My heart hammers against my chest as I take each step. I stare at Jasper's bedroom door, struggling inside myself to just knock on the door. Finally I do, and I hear Jasper call out for me to come in. I open the door slowly. Surprised to see that nothing had changed. I watch as he looks over smiling, but it fades slowly as he realizes who I am.

" Hey," I offer weakly, wishing I could just sit down.

" Hey," Jasper echoes back.

" Listen. I just wanted to wish you good luck. I hope you know that I meant that," I say, swaying slightly. Jasper rushes towards me, pressing a hand to my lower back, another to my stomach, and in that moment it was as if the child growing inside of me knew that her father was touching her, because she kicked. I watched the amazement light up Jasper's eyes, and realized I made a huge mistake. My eyes fill with tears as I slide the white envelope out of my back pocket. I hand it to him, and smile softly.

" I want you to have this, just don't read it until your on the plane," I say, watching him take the paper from my hands.

" Oh Jasper, its time to go," Emmett yells up the stairs. I hug Jasper tightly, breathing him in. I hold off the tears, and press my cheek to his.

" Bye, I love you," I whisper, turning I walk from the room quickly. I shake my head clear, pressing the tears as far back as I can. I walk downstairs where the rest of the family is gathered. I stand next to Jade, and she instinctively runs her hand down my arm, taking my hand in hers. She squeezes lightly as Jasper comes down stairs and starts saying his good byes. I watch, as he hugs Rosalie for a long time, and feel someone taking my hand in theirs. I look up at Elijah, his gray eyes staring down at me.

" Well, I guess this is it," Jasper says, picking up his duffel bag. " I will be back in a couple of months, to visit. You guys don't have to much fun without me." I hold my breath and watch as he leaves the house. I let out a shaky breath, pressing my face into Jade's shoulder I finally cry, letting it all out. This is it. He's gone. He really is. This was the final good bye.

* * *

**Jasper's POV **

The silence in the car is deafening. Usually by now Emmett would be talking my ear off, instead it's like I hit a stone cold wall of silence.

" So your really going to go? Just leave?" Emmett asks, finally breaking the silence in the car.

" Emmett," I say, annoyed as I rub my fingers against my eyes.

" No, I'm serious Jasper. That girl loves you, she's having your baby. I cant believe you of all people are just walking away from something like that," he says, and he flashes me a serious look. There are few things in this world that scare me, but Emmett's serious face is definitely at the top of the list. He looks like a menacing and calculating boxer, setting up for a knock out blow.

" I understand that just about everyone hates me, but did any of you stop to think that I wanted Ana to come to London. She said no," I say, knowing that it's a pitiful excuse.

" Oh yeah, how could I forget. You wanted the girl that you love, the girl that you married, to just up and leave her family, her friends, school, move for a year to a foreign country, and have a baby there," he says, driving home just how selfish I was, and continue to be. I groan, watching the night sky flash by the car windows. Finally at the airport, Emmett claps me in a hug and says his good bye. I watch as one of my best friend leaves wondering how things will be a year from now.

I sit turning the envelope Ana gave me over in my hands. I contemplate just shoving it away into a bag and forgetting it, and her. I know that's impossible. I could never forget her. The way she smiles, smells, laughs, sings. I close my eyes tightly, before summoning the strength to open the envelope. I slide out the letter, and two pictures fall into my lap. The first was of me and Ana, her sitting on my lap in the living room, and I can almost hear the laughter as I recall that day. I turn over the other picture, and see my unborn child in the womb. On the bottom of the picture in Ana's sweet hand writing, Lilliana Grace Hale. Due Date: September 20th. I stare at the picture until tears cloud my eyes and I shake my head trying to clear my eyes, opening the letter.

'_Jasper,_

_I know I shouldn't be writing this, and I have tried talking to myself out of this for days now, but I just cant seem to do so. There are just so many things that were left unsaid. Under the cover of the pain, and heart ache, I have to tell you that I am proud of you. I'm so proud that your going for your dreams. Somehow along the way I forgot everything that my mom ever told me about following your dreams. You have to follow your dreams Jasper, no matter where they take you, or who they take you away from. I'm going to miss you every single day, and I will think about you in everything. Everytime I see a sunrise I will remember the times that I watched you as you slept just as the sun was coming up. Everytime I pick up my guitar and write a new song, I will remember that it was you who told me to keep doing it. I am always going to love you Jasper, you have to remember that, and hold that close to your heart. Most importantly, I will remember you and the love that we shared whenever I look at our daughter. I hope she has your eyes. Maybe we are better off this way, maybe we wont be. I guess only fate will be able to decide that. _

_Love Always, _

_Ana._

_P.S " No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No one person has the right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams."-Jesse Jackson.'_

I clutch the letter to my heart as the plane takes off. Even now, as I know, as everyone knows that I'm being a selfish bastard, somehow Ana has managed to turn this around and take the blame solely onto herself. I hold the pictures she gave me close to my heart, my heart breaking and I cry freely, unashamed of who see's me. I just made the biggest damn mistake of my life.

* * *

**Ana's POV**

" You didn't have to come tonight Elijah," I say, sitting comfortably on my couch. I prop my feet on the table and lay my hand against my stomach.

" I know, but I wanted too," Elijah says, handing me a bottle of water. I watch as he makes himself comfortable on the couch. I sigh heavily letting my head roll back so that I can stare at the ceiling. " It was hard for you wasn't it, even after all this time?" I sigh heavily, and look up and over at him.

" Yeah. I thought, no that's not right, I was hoping that by now it wouldn't hurt as much, but I was wrong. Still hurts just as much as it did when things first went bad," I say, cursing the fact that I am so emotional, pregnancy hormones don't help the already overly emotional. " I guess I was secretly hoping that it would be like in Friends. You know, when Rachel was leaving to Paris, and at the last minute she has the 'what in the hell am I doing' moment. I was hoping Jasper would come back. That he would realize that he didn't want to leave me, us. So much for wishing, huh?" I run my hands up and down my stomach, tears streaming down my face as I realize just how true my statement was. I was wishing, with everything inside of me that Jasper would change his mind, that this wouldn't have to be our good bye.

" It isn't going to stop hurting for a long time Ana. I'm not going to lie to you, and I wish that I could make it better for you but I cant. All I can do is offer you a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on," he says, rubbing his hand up and down my neck. I smile through the tears that slide down my cheeks.

" Thank you. You seriously, have become one of my best friends," I say, chuckling as I wipe my face. I look up at him and see his eyes changing. A familiar emotion swimming in his eyes, before his lips brush nervously against mine. He pulls back quickly staring at me.

" I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, I'm so sorry," he says, getting up to pace around the living room. I stare at him in shock, not because he kissed me, no I should have seen it coming. My state of shock is owed to the fact that I liked it. I wanted him to do it again. It felt, right.

" I'm just going to go," he says, and he races through the door before I have the time to protest.

" What the hell just happened?" I ask myself out loud, pressing a shaking hand to my chest.

* * *

I pull in front of the house and push from the car. I've been jumpy all day, feeling as if that one sweet, spontaneous kiss that Elijah and I shared was a capitol crime. I walk to the door and slide my key into the door, opening it slowly.

" Hello," I call out, looking for any sign of people being awake.

" Ana?" Edward's voice comes from the kitchen and I smile as I make my way towards him and the aroma of breakfast being cooked.

" Hey, what'cha cooking?" I ask nonchalantly, leaning against the counter.

" Mmm, pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast," Edward says, smiling when he looks at me. I try and think of anything else that I can, keeping my train of thought as far away from kissing Elijah as I can, but to no avail. I watch as his eyes cloud over, his smile falters, and then grows.

" Don't look at me that way," I say, defenses automatically raising as I snag a piece of bacon.

" Look at you how?" he asks innocently.

" I know that you know Edward. Please don't say anything to anyone, not until I'm ready," I say, biting into my bacon.

" You have my word I wont say anything, but Ana you have to know that no one is going to hold it against you if you move on, especially if its with Elijah. He's a great guy, and he is crushing on you hard core. I know that everyone has been trying to make Jasper see reason, but I know I cant force him to. I want to believe that my best friend, and someone who is like a sister to me will find their way back together, especially because of her," he says, rubbing his free hand over my stomach. " But I also know that trying to stay with someone just because you have a child with them is wrong, for everyone involved, more importantly the child. We just want you to be happy Ana, all of us. If it's with Jasper great, but not one of us would blame you, or think you were wrong if you chose not to be with him." I stare at Edward in disbelief. Edward and I have talked, but never before has he spoken his mind to me so freely. It was always just a comfortable friendship between us from day one. My eyes mist over and before I know what happens I break down crying. I sob loudly, my face buried in my hands.

" What's going on in here? Ana? Edward what did you do?" Emmett asks gruffly grabbing me protectively in his arms.

" He, he, didn't do an-anything, he was just so sweet," I say, my voice choking out barely audible over my tears.

" Pregnancy hormones," Emmett and Edward say in unison, and I cant help but laugh at that.

* * *

An hour later, I am sitting in Alice's room, pouring over paint colors. I don't even know why, living in an apartment puts the brakes on any hopes of redecorating for the baby. As if Alice knew what I was thinking, she looks at me a wicked smile crossing her face.

" You know, if you want you could always move back in here. I would move into Jasper's room, give you this one to paint and redecorate for the baby," Alice says, smiling at me hopefully.

" Alice, I appreciate the offer, but one I'm sure Jasper wouldn't appreciate coming home a year from now and finding that he has been kicked out of his room, and two, I have a year lease I cant afford to break," I say, closing the book with the cheerful pictures of painted and furnished nurseries.

" I know, but it didn't hurt to try," she says laughing. " By the way, just to give you a heads up. Rosalie, her Mom, and your Mom have been planning your baby shower." I cringe and smile at the same time. Somehow I knew that would be coming.

" I kind of figured, ugh, how scared should I be?" I ask, rubbing my stomach softly as my daughter kicks furiously.

" Be afraid, very afraid," she says, and I laugh. It's the first time that I have laughed and truly meant it in this house, and for a minute I cautiously think that maybe things are going to be a little easier than I expected.


	49. Chapter 49: Eleven Weeks Too Soon

**Author's Note: I am not Stephanie Meyer, therfore I don't own any of the characters, except for Ana, Jade, and Elijah. I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to update, but to say that I have had a lot of drama in my life is a HUGE understatement. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. As always, READ/ENJOY/REVIEW!**

**Chapter 49: Eleven Weeks Too Soon**

" _If love doesn't shatter you, then you don't know love."-Unknown_

* * *

I roll over slowly, the ache in my back screaming at me. I rub furiously at the source of my pain, trying to breathe. I stare at the clock which, with it's glowing neon number informs me that its only two in the morning. I sigh, sitting up. The last week has been fine. Entering my twenty-ninth week of pregnancy I have grown comfortable with the changes that my body has been going through. I get to my feet, wanting to make my way to the bathroom when the shock of pain courses from my womb, causing me to double over and cry out. I clutch my nightstand, my hand searching for the light switch. I finally click it on when another sharp pain courses through my body, humming through me. I pant, gasping for air as I search my room for the phone. I take a step forward, and that s when I realize the feeling of fluid leaking down my legs. I slide my hand up my inner thigh, pulling my hand back I see blood smeared on my fingers. Panic threatens to take hold but I clamp down on it as I dial Jade's number. I lay down on the bed, turning onto my left side, trying to breath through the pain.

" Hello," Jade's hollow and sleep filled voice comes through the phone.

" Jade, Jade, you have to come, the babies coming," I say, my voice shaking as another contraction courses through my body.

" Ana, just breathe, relax, its probably just Braxton-Hicks contractions, remember the doctor said that most women get those," she says, her voice catching on a yawn. I groan loudly, fear filling my body.

" You don't understand, I think my water broke, and there's blood. Please, Jade," I plead, my voice trailing off as another contraction hits harder than the first few.

" Blood. Shit. Don't move okay. Call Elijah, have him come sit with you. Be there soon," and with that the phone clicks off. I dial Elijah next, praying that he didn't turn his phone off, like he usually does when he is going to bed for the night.

" Hey, what are you doing still awake. Don't you know pregnant women need their rest to make beautiful babies," Elijah's voice comes through the phone. I want to laugh, oh how I wish that I can, but the pain and the fear wont let me.

" Elijah you need to come upstairs, please. I'm in labor," I say, and I hear his apartment door slamming open and shut. I hang up the phone, my hand flexing and gripping the closest pillow to me. I shut my eyes, wishing that now, more than ever Jasper was here. To use his little something extra to take away this fear. I rub my hand over my stomach.

" Come on little girl, you just have to hold on okay," I say out loud, talking to my unborn child. I hear a knocking on my door and realize that I had locked my door before coming to bed. I groan and start crying. I cant get up to get the door, the pain is too intense.

" I, I cant get up," I call out, trying my damnedest to clamp down on the tears that are threatening to spill out. I flinch only slightly when I hear the door slam open, knowing full well that Elijah had used his height and weight to open the door, the hard way.

" Ana," Elijah calls out, and all I can do is whimper, as it seems that the contractions are coming faster, and harder, one right on top of the other. " Oh God, Ana." I feel the bed give a little as Elijah positions himself right next to me. He take my hand, rubbing his other wide hand over my forehead wiping the perspiration from my brow. " I'm going to call an ambulance."

" No. Jade, and," I stop mid sentence, squeezing his hand as the next pain sets in. " Everyone's coming. No ambulances. Just sit with me."

" Ana, there's a lot of blood, and something could be wrong with the baby. Your only twenty nine weeks along," he says, trying to convince me to let him call the paramedics. Before I can say anything the sound of rushing footsteps up the stairs courses through the apartment.

" Here comes the cavalry," I whisper, my heart thrumming sluggishly against my ribs. My eyes flutter closed and for a second it feels as if I'm floating on water, until the pain comes searing back like a white hot flame. I open my eyes to the sound of murmuring voices, Jade's being the loudest as she barks out orders.

" You need to call an ambulance," Elijah says, his voice firm and absolute.

" No, we need to get her into the car. An ambulance will take too long to get here, by then it might be too late," Jade says, and as if to end the argument, I feel the strong and familiar arms of Emmett scooping me up.

" Just hold on half-pint. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, or my beautiful niece," Emmett says, and I smile half-heartedly.

" Emmett, you have to, you have to call Jasper for me, okay, promise me you'll call him," I say, fighting against my own body to keep my eyes open.

" I promise Ana, I promise," he says, sliding me gently into the back seat of the car, pillowing my head on Elijah's lap. I close my eyes, praying that everything will be okay.

* * *

" Excuse me, you cant park here, this is the ambulance bay," a gruff voice calls out, and I squint through the dark car into the bright lights of the hospital.

" You don't understand, my best friend is in preterm labor. She's 29 weeks pregnant, and losing a lot of blood," Jade's voice calls out, angry. Everything begins happening so fast. Even as Emmett's strong arms wrap under my body, cold, unfamiliar hands grab me away, placing me on a bed. The voices buzz around me as we bang through doors, the doctor and nurses calling out orders, and vitals.

" Ana, Ana, my name is Dr. Carver, we are going to have to perform an emergency c-section, your child is in distress," a low voice murmurs to me even as I feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head. A mask is placed over my face, and I tear it away quickly, fighting the urge to just sleep. I grab the white jacket of the doctor.

" Jasper. They have to call Jasper," I manage to choke out before the mask is put back in place, and then everything goes quiet and still.

* * *

**EMMETT'S POV**

I stand in the emergency room of the hospital, Ana's blood drying on my shirt and hands. I turn around at the sound of someone calling my name, and catch Rosalie as she lunges into my arms.

" Where is she?" Rose asks, pulling away, her beautiful eyes searching my face for answers.

" They took her to the operating room. They said something about an emergency c-section," I say, immediately cursing the fact that I have to be the one to tell her any of this.

" Is she going to be okay? What about the baby?" she asks, pressing me for information I didn't have.

" I don't know Rose. All we can do is pray," I say, leading her to a seat. " I will be right back."

" Where are you going?" she asks, her voice breaking.

" I have a promise to keep," I say, bending down to brush a kiss to her forehead before making my way outside.

I slide down against the wall outside, pulling my phone from my pocket. Three-thirty in the morning. I dial Jasper's number, praying that he is awake for the day. The phone rings for what seems like an eternity when finally an exhausted Jasper answer's the phone.

" Hello," Jasper says, his voice thick with sleep.

" Jazz. Man its bad," I whisper out, wishing to hell that I hadn't made the promise to Ana that I would be the one to call him.

" What are you talking about Emmett? Look I was at the office late, I have to be back in at two, I'm trying to sleep here," he says, and if I could I would reach through the phone to strangle him, I would.

" Fuck the job Jasper. Your wife is in an operating room having a c-section because she went into early labor. Your daughter is being born eleven weeks early. So get your ass on a plane and get here, I don't give a flying fuck what excuses you have. If you are not here in the next twenty four hours I will personally come to drag your ass back, got it?" I ask, all of the pent up rage towards him flowing through me, turning my blood icy cold. I snap my phone shut, looking down at my hands, at the evidence of Ana's body turning against her. I Lay my head between my knee's trying so hard not to cry.

'Please God, don't take Ana, or the baby away from us, please.'

* * *

**Ana's POV**

I come to quickly, and** look** around, everything flooding back to me. I touch my stomach, knowing that my daughter is no longer inside of me. I whimper loudly looking around.

" Ana?" Jade's voice calls to me and I look up in the door way to see my best friend standing before me.

" Please, just tell me that she's alive," I say, fear coursing through my body as hot tears spill down my cheeks.

" Yes, she's alive. She is in the NICU," Jade says, sitting at the corner of my bed. I cover my face with my hands, weeping uncontrollably.

" How big was she?" I ask, looking up at Jade, finally composing myself enough to ask the questions.

" Two pounds, fifteen inches," she whispers, and I take a deep breath.

" When can I see her?" I ask, and as if on cue the doctor walks into the room.

" Hello Ana, I'm Dr. Carver, I delivered your baby," he says, smiling down at me.

" When can I see her?" I ask, sitting up in the bed.

" As soon as you want too. I have to warn you though. It can often times be, daunting or even intimidating for a parent to see their child in this state," he says, and I look at him seriously.

" I don't care. I want to see my daughter," I say, and he nods.

" I will have a nurse bring you a gown and a wheel chair," he says, walking from the room. It seems like its an eternity before the nurse comes in carrying a gown. I shift uncomfortably in my wheel chair as I am pushed down the long halls of the hospital. I see the sign for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and my heart begins hammering against my chest. Jade kneels down before me helping me slide on the gown and mask required to be worn around the small infants.

" Are you coming with me?" I ask, looking into Jade's shocked eyes.

" Do you want me to?" she asks, and I nod. I watch as she straightens herself and slides into a gown and mask. The doors open slowly and I am wheeled to an incubator in the far corner. I lean forward in my chair and then I see her. My daughter. My Lilliana. Tubes cover most of her tiny body, and I swallow the first hot tears that threaten to spill over.

" Can I touch her?" I ask the nurse.

" Of course," she says, and I slide my hands through the holes in the plastic crib. I brush my fingers along her skin, and smile at the feel of her.

" Hi my baby. It's your momma," I say, tears thickening my voice. I lay my head against the wall of the incubator. She looks so much like Jasper, her head haloed with her father's hair. " You have to make it okay. You're a fighter Lilliana Grace Hale."

" She's beautiful," Jade says, and I nod in agreement.

" Just like her father," I say, looking at my child, wishing now more than ever, that Jasper was here.

* * *

" What exactly are her problems Dr. Carver. Please don't sugar coat it for me, I can handle it," I say, sitting in a chair in my hospital room.

" She has respiratory distress syndrome, that's why she is on the ventilator. With most babies born before thirty seven weeks, she cant coordinate sucking and swallowing, so for now, until she has had the chance to grow a little more, she will be fed intravenously, once she has gained enough weight, we will insert a feeding tube. Were you planning on breast feeding?" Dr. Carver asks, looking at me with sympathetic eyes.

" Yes. I read every book, studies, what have you. I know the importance of breast feeding. It will help with her immune system, not to mention that its just the healthiest choice. It helps with the bonding," I whisper, my eyes burning with tears. " I'm sorry."

" Don't apologize Ana, I understand. My son Braden was born at twenty nine weeks, I know what this is like. You just have to stay strong," he says, squeezing my hand lightly.

" When can I see her again?" I ask, looking at the clock.

" You can see her whenever you want. There will be times though, that you will have to leave for meals, and pumping. The sooner you begin to pump, the sooner we can store it and have it ready for when your daughter is ready for the feeding tube," he says, and I nod. With a final touch to my shoulder the doctor leaves the room, and I sigh sitting back in my chair closing my eyes tightly. This was never supposed to happen, but I guess everyone who goes through this, thinks the same exact thing. I look up at the sound of my door opening and see Rosalie and Emmett standing, looking at me.

" Hey," I whisper, and before I can stop it the sobs break out of me and I am wrapped in warm arms.

" It's going to be okay, Ana," Rosalie says and I nod pulling away from her embrace.

" I know, its just all," I break off, looking up at Emmett. " Did you call him?"

" Call who?" Rosalie asks, and I look in her eyes, filled with confusion. " Jasper," I say, and she sighs, closing her eyes.

" He should be on his way. I told him if he wasn't here in the next twenty four hours that I would personally fly to London and drag his ass back," he says, and I smile laughing slightly.

" That's my Emmy," I say, standing so that I can hug him. " Thank you," I whisper in his ear, holding onto the hope that Jasper would be here, soon.

* * *

I smile as I look down at my daughter, my Lilliana. Fighting so hard already. Dr. Carver was in disbelief when he woke me at noon, from a sleep I had desperatley fought against, to tell me that she was going to be taken off the ventilator all ready. That's my girl.

" Ana, do you want to hold her?" the shy, young nurse smiles at me as my heart thrums against my ribs.

" I can hold her?" I ask, looking at the nurse in disbelief.

" Yes. Skin on skin contact helps bond the child to their parent, in my opinion, its often times the babies that are held by their parents in these first critical days that make a greater recovery," she says, opening the incubator.

" Okay," I say, wiping suddenly sweaty palms against my gown.

" We like to do something called tummy time. You can remove your gown so that your baby can lay on you, and cover her right back up so that you exposed, and she wont get cold," she says. I look around, and slide my gown off, clutching it to me. I maneuver awkwardly as the nurse lays my daughter against my bare skin. Yet as soon as our skin connects its as if everything falls into place.

" Oh, oh wow," I whisper, tears falling down my cheeks as I stroke my daughters back.

" I'll just leave you two alone," the nurse says, walking away with a smile on her face. I rock back on forth in my chair, my daughters head resting against my heart. I can feel her heart beating steadily against my chest, a feeling so beautiful, there are no words in the English language to describe it.

* * *

It took a lot of urging on the nurses parts to get me out of the NICU, and it wasn't until they promised me that I could come back in forty-five minutes to be with Lilliana again, that I finally gave in. I walk slowly with Jade and Emmett at my side to the elevator.

" You need to eat Ana. Not only for you, but for Lily too," Jade says, pressing the button on the elevator.

" I know. I just don't have an appetite," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

" Well half-pint your going to have to find one. I hear that this hospital makes a mean grilled cheese," Emmett says, and just the mention of one of my favorite foods has my mouth watering in protest against my rolling stomach. The elevator doors slide open and I step forward, freezing my movement as soon as I notice the occupant stepping towards us.

" Jasper," I whisper, and in those two seconds, my world is flipped upside down, again.


	50. Chapter 50: To Feel Your Soul

**Author's Note: Hello All. Welcome to ICFY Chapter 50! Well, sadly, there is only one more chpater to Ana & Jasper's story (which doesn't really count, because it's just the epilogue) It has been an amazing journey. I have to thank everyone who has read, and reviewed. Seriously, if it wasnt for you guys, I dont know if I would have made it this far in the story. A HUGE thank you to my best friend, Layce-Lou, my Bella, my muse, my inspiration :D I dont want anyone to fret though, because where Ana and Jasper's story ends, Jade and Edwards begins! So read/enjoy/review! Love You All So Much!**

**P.S Do I really need to put a disclaimer? Ahh what the hell, I will for old times sake. I am not now, nor have I ever been Stephanie Meyer, therefore, I do not own the awesomeness that is Twilight, but Jade and Ana are all mine ;) Elijah too!**

**C****hapter 50: To Feel Your Soul**

**" **_**Love until it hurts and when it hurts, love some more. Love until you don't care about the pain, until you stop expecting anything in return, until all that matters is loving that person the best way that you can."-Unknown.** _

* * *

I peer through the window of the NICU, watching Jasper hold Lilliana, a look of wonderment on his face. I sigh heavily, closing my eyes. Jasper being here should be a good thing, yet why do I feel completely lost? Completely alone. This is what I wanted the whole time, and yet I feel somewhat disgruntled by his presence.

" Hey," someone's voice catches my attention, pulling me out of my own thoughts. I look up and smile at Elijah.

" Hey. What are you doing here?" I ask, turning to lean back against the window.

" I thought I would be the first to bring Lily a gift," he says, holding the cutest pink bear out to me. I smile as I hold it to my chest.

" Thank you," I say, stifling the sudden tears.

" How long has he been in there?" he asks, motioning with his head towards where Jasper is sitting.

" About an hour," I say, sighing heavily. The silence grows tense, before Elijah finally lets out a small laugh. I look up at him, as he nervously runs his hand through his hair.

" You and I were never going to happen huh?" he asks, and I look at him, smiling sadly.

" I'm sorry Elijah, if I gave you that impression. But the sad truth of it all, is that as much as that man in there, infuriates me, and believe me he does, he has my heart," I whisper, wishing that I didn't have to hurt him this way. A tear softly falls down my face, and I lower my head, caught somewhat off guard by Elijah's hand catching my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look at him.

" Hey, it's okay. I think all along I knew that you and I would never happen. I understand love Ana, just like I understand that Jasper and you are so meant to be together it should be illegal," he says, pulling me into a sweet hug. " I will always be here for you Ana, no matter what happens. Just because 'we' never happened doesn't mean that we cant be friends." I cry softly into his shirt.

" Thank you Elijah, for everything," I say, and I watch as he walks away, my heart aching the whole time.

* * *

I push through the door of the NICU and approach Jasper cautiously. My heart thudding dully at the way that he touches her, the look of pain and fear alive in his eyes.

" She's so tiny," Jasper whispers out, not bothering to look over at me.

" I know, but the doctor says that she is getting stronger every day," I say, laying my hand on the incubator as I look down at our sleeping daughter.

" Just like her mother. Strong, and beautiful," he says, and I lift my eyes to look at him in disbelief. Is he really trying to hit on me, at a moment like this? I shift nervously from foot to foot wondering what can be said.

" Excuse me, but I'm going to have to ask you both to leave for now, shift change is coming up," one of the nurses says, and I nod, used to the routine by now.

" When can I come back," Jasper asks, his voice anxious.

" Don't worry, we can come back in forty-five minutes," I say, gently taking his hand to lead him out of the NICU. We stand in the hallway, silence falling around us. I look down at my feet, wiggling my toes in the pink slippers that Emmett had bought me.

" Can we talk?" Jasper suddenly asks, and I nod, dreading what's coming.

" Sure," I lead him down the hall, to my hospital room. I open the door and see Jade and Edward sitting, murmuring amongst themselves. I clear my throat gently and Jade turns her towards me and Jasper, nodding subtly before she stands up to lead Edward out of the room. I shuffle slowly to the bed and sit slowly.

" How was London?" I ask, trying to find something, anything to talk about.

" It was great, working with so many different people, seeing all these amazing sights, but it was missing something," he says, and I look at him, wondering what someplace as wonderful as London could be missing. " You. It was missing you." I feel the blush creeping into my face simultaneously with the tears clouding my eyes.

" Jasper, don't," I say, closing my eyes. Sure this is what I have dreamt of hearing every single day that he was gone, but now just isn't the time. I'm not ready to hear this.

" Ana, you have to know," he starts saying but I shake my head, getting up to pace the room.

" No, I don't have to know Jasper. What I have to know right now is that my daughter is going to be okay, and that I am going to be okay, that is what I have to know right now," I say, hands shaking as I turn around and come face to face with him. He reaches out his hands grasping my shoulders.

" Ana, you have to know this one thing. Just hear me out," he says, and I pull my arms away from him, wishing that in this moment I could be as far away from him as I can get.

" Jasper, please, just don't," I plead, wishing that for once he would just get the point that when I want him to drop the subject, he needs to just drop the subject.

" No, damn it Ana. You don't understand. I knew that I made the biggest mistake of my life when I got on the plane, even before I opened your letter, and saw our daughter for the first time. I know that I should have just gotten off the plane," he says, and I shake my head, wishing that there was a way that I could un-hear what he was saying. I all but fell to the floor with gratitude when the doctor knocks on the door.

" Excuse me Ana, I'm here to check on your incision, and then you can go home," Dr. Carver says, I smile at him as I situate myself on the bed. I wince slightly when he removes the bandage, revealing the stapled wound. I glance at Jasper, his eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and despair. " Well, everything looks good. I will be giving you a few prescriptions. One's for Percocet, it's a pain killer, another is an iron supplement because your initial blood tests show you're a bit on the anemic side, so that means a lot of iron rich foods Ana."

" Thank you Dr. Carver, for everything," I say, sitting up slowly with a little help from Jasper. I sigh heavily as the doctor leaves the room knowing that Jasper wasn't going to just let this go, he never does.

* * *

" You didn't have to drive me home Jasper, Jade and Edward could have brought me" I say, walking slowly into my apartment. " I know that you wanted to stay with Lily as long as you could."

" It's fine Ana, we didn't get to finish our conversation earlier," Jasper says, setting my bag down with a soft thud.

" We aren't going to finish it Jasper," I say, sitting down on my couch slowly.

" Yes we are," he says, a bit of authority in his voice, and I look at him seriously.

" No we aren't," I say, getting right back up to walk to the door. " Want to know what I love about having my own apartment Jasper, I can tell people to leave when I don't want to be around them. So unless you need a road map, here's the door."

" That isn't going to work Ana, you cant run from this, and you cant run from us," he says, and something inside of me snaps.

" I can't run? I cant run? You ran Jasper, not me. I waited for you, through all of your bullshit, through all of your games. I married you, and you ran Jasper. You ran to London, to your precious internship, and you are going to stand here and tell me not to run?" I yell, not caring who hears me, or what effect that what I'm saying may or may not have on him.

" I made a mistake Ana, I told you that at the hospital. I knew it was the biggest mistake of my life as soon as I got on the plane," he says his voice filled with frustration.

" Then why did you, Jasper? If you knew it was a mistake, why didn't you get off of the damn plane? Were you just being stubborn? Or did you want to make me wait, knowing that every single day that you were gone, I would think of you. That I would wish, and I would dream of you showing up on my doorstep, telling me you loved me, and you were sorry? Because I did. And every night I dreamt of you. Every night I cried myself to sleep. I felt alone, abandoned, and scared. All because you got on that plane. I went into labor and delivered our daughter eleven weeks early, and you weren't here," I say, tears choking me as I let out all of the pent up anger and pain. I can feel myself shaking, vibrating with the waves of emotions that I feel.

" Ana," he says, stepping closer to me. I step away from him, but he is too quick for me. He catches my wrists in his hands, pulling me into a tight hug. " I'm sorry. I don't know what else that I can say to you, I don't know if there is anything that I can say to make this all okay again. All that I can say is that I love you. I thought about you every single day that I was gone," he says, pulling away to cup my face in his hands. He stares into my eyes, and I feel strangely exposed, like he can see to the very core of my soul. " Tell me that you believe me, please. Ana, just tell me what I can do to make this right again." I open my mouth about to tell him that I wasn't sure that there was anything that could make everything okay again, but the phone rings, pulling my attention from the conversation. I pick up the phone, trying to control the shakiness in my voice.

" Hello," I say into the phone, too many emotions coursing though me.

" Ana, this is Dr. Culver. There's been a set back with Lily," Dr. Culver's serious voice fills my head, making it swim.

" What kind of problem?" I ask, bracing myself against the counter afraid of what he might say.

" Just get to the hospital Ana, now," he says, and the phone clicks off before I can say anything or ask further questions. I look over at Jasper, panic feeling my eyes, and without a word having to be said, we both race out of the apartment, our thoughts solely on our daughter.

* * *

I pace furiously outside of the NICU, my arms tightly wrapped around myself. Everyone came as soon as we got a hold of them, so I know without even having to look that Jasper, Edward, Jade, Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, and Elijah sit just down the short hall, offering what ever support that they can.

" Ana," Jasper says, reaching a hand out brushing my shoulder, and I jerk away from him, unsure why I feel surging anger towards him.

" Don't touch me," I hiss out, turning away from him, waiting for Dr. Culver to come out, to just tell me what is going on with my daughter already. I know that I am unfairly blaming him, but if it wasnt for the fact that he insisted on taking me home, I would have been here when Lily got worse.

" Ana," he says firmly, grabbing my arm in his hand, turning me around so that I have to look at him. " I know that your scared, and worried, but you have to lean on me now. You just had major surgery, you need to calm down."

" Calm down? Calm down? How in the hell can I do that. My daughter, my little girl is in that room fighting for her life. I don't care if I just had major surgery, I don't care about anything, or anyone but her right now. And if you have any hopes of keeping your hand, you will let go of me, and get the hell out of here, NOW!" I scream, only slightly unnerved by the rage that I feel.

" Come on, Jasper," Emmett says, taking him by the shoulder, leading him out of the hall. Jade, Alice, and Rosalie all surround me in their warm arms, and comforting words, as I shake from head to toe, crying uncontrollably.

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

I sit outside of the hospital, Emmett and Edward sitting with me, silence around us.

" This is unbelievable, how could she just kick me out of the hospital like that?" I ask, feeling completely perplexed about the whole situation. " She's my daughter too." I had read her like an open book at the apartment. I knew that we were on the road to coming back, and then bam, she hates me all over again.

" Do you really blame her?" Edward asks, his voice cool and distant, but his question catches me off guard as I look at him.

" What is that supposed to mean?" I ask, falling easily back onto my own anger.

" You weren't there for her Jasper. Her entire pregnancy you weren't there. Did you honestly think you could just ride in when everything goes wrong, acting like her knight in shining armor, and that everything would go back to normal? She is scared of losing her daughter, she is terrified because as much as she wishes that she could hate you, she cant, and she feels completely alone. You need to just leave her the hell alone right now," Edward says, and I cant help but to agree as much as I hate to. I watch as Edward stands up and walks back into the hospital, resting my head in my hands.

" He's right Jazz. I know you don't want to hear that, but you need to understand Ana. The entire time you were gone, she put on her brave face. She pretended to be happy, but the truth of the matter is she was sad, and it broke all of our hearts," Emmett says, and I roll my eyes in disgust. Did he think I didn't already know all of this?

" I know that Emmett, what's the point?" I ask, frustration coursing through me.

" This is the point, Jasper," he says, and I listen closely as Emmett recounts a specific conversation with Ana, that would change everything entirely.

* * *

**Emmett's POV**

I roll over in bed, groaning loudly. I never have a problem sleeping, and yet tonight, I just cant seem to drop off into dreamland. I press a kiss to Rosalie's forehead, smiling softly before sliding out of bed. I shuffle out into the living room, thinking that maybe some crappy late night television will bring on some sleepiness, until I notice the light on upstairs, shaking my head at Alice's forgetfulness. I head towards the stairs, my ears catching the faint sound of someone crying softly. I take the steps two at a time, thinking that maybe Alice was having another nightmare, but find myself surprised to that the source of the light is coming from Jasper's room. I push open the door slightly, sighing heavily when I see that it's Ana, curled up on her side, clutching one of Jasper's sweaters to her chest, her face buried in the pillows.

" Ana," I whisper, sitting on the side of the bed, placing a hand cautiously on her shoulder. She lifts her head slowly, her eyes swimming with tears, already swollen from her crying.

" I'm sorry. I should have called or something," Ana says, sitting up fully, crossing her legs, laying her hands on her stomach.

" You never have to call to come home," I say, brushing a strand of her hair from her face. " What's going on half-pint?"

" I miss him Emmett. Why hasn't he called? How could he so easily just forget all about me, and our baby?" she asks, fresh tears trailing down her face. " I thought that I could just move on. That after a while, it wouldn't hurt so much, that I would just wake up one day, and he wouldn't be the first thing I think about. I just want Jasper to come home."

" I know, Ana. I don't have the answers for you. All that I can tell you is that he is the dumbest man alive. You are beautiful Ana, and smart. You are going to have a little girl soon, and then you will be the best mother ever," I say, and she just shakes her head.

" If that was true, Emmett, why did he leave? Why didn't he stay? If I'm beautiful, and smart, why was that not enough for him? Why was I not enough?" she asks, her voice straining against her tears as she buries her face into her hands. " I was kidding myself, this whole time. Thinking that Jasper would always love me, that someone like me could keep someone like him."

" Stop, damn it Ana. Don't you see?" I ask, pulling her hands from her face, making her look me in the eyes. " Jasper leaving is on him, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. I don't ever want to hear you say that you're the one to blame, and I don't ever want to hear you put yourself down again, am I clear?" And I watch as she just nods her head in agreement, tears falling furiously down her pale cheeks, all of the light gone from her once gleaming green eyes.

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

" I held her all night that night Jasper, while she cried for you. I hated you that night. For hurting her so much, but the funny thing is, that through all of this, she never hated you. Ana, never hated you, she just kept right on loving you. You have to think Jasper, are you really going to be here for her, for good? Because if you aren't, why did you even bother to come back?" Emmett asks, getting up to walk back into the hospital.

" Hey, Em," I call out to him, and I watch as he turns to look over at me. " Thanks." He smiles slightly, leaving me to think about everything that he just said.

* * *

**Ana's POV**

I continue my pacing, finally somewhat calm after kicking Jasper out of the hospital. One arm slung across my stomach, trying not to wince in pain, while my other hand lays over my heart. It gallops so fast, I feel like its going to all but leap out of my chest. The blood rushes in my head, pounding in my ears, drowning out everything else. Even as I pace, my eyes never leave the small window of the neonatal intensive care unit, and I watch as a group of doctors and nurses surround my daughter, praying with everything in me, that I don't lose her. Not like this, not now.

" Ana," Jade says, laying a hand lightly on my shoulder. " You should really sit down, you aren't looking so good."

" I cant. Why haven't they told me anything?" I ask," They should have told me something by now."

" Ana, just sit-" Jade is cut off by the sound of the door opening, and a sober eyed Dr. Culver clears his throat to get my attention.

" Dr. Culver, please tell me she is going to be okay," I say, my voice shaking from fear.

" She will be fine Ana. She started having trouble breathing, which is not uncommon with babies born eleven weeks early. We had a little bit of trouble re-inserting the respirator, but we got it. We're going to have to keep a close eye on her for a few days, but other than that everything is looking very good," Dr. Culver says, rubbing a comforting hand down my arm. I sigh heavily, even though I cant seem to stop shaking. My head swims as my vision goes slightly blurry, and I rock heavily on my feet, swaying away from the doctor.

" Ana?" he calls out, grabbing me before I fall back all the way.

" I'm fine, I'm okay, just tired," I whisper, shaking my head trying to clear it. I rest my hand on my stomach noticing the wet sensation, and I lift my fingers smeared with red.

" You ripped your staples. Come on, I'll get you to a room to fix it," the doctor says, taking me easily under my elbow, as he leads me away from my friends, and daughter.

" Jade," I call over my shoulder, " Stay with Lily until I'm done."

* * *

An hour later, I walk down the hall, an I.V pole in hand. Good old Dr. Culver fought with me to hook me back up to the stupid thing. Something about low iron levels, the point is the man fought dirty. Saying the only way he would easily let me get back to Lily, is if I agreed, so I naturally gave in, and suffered as the obviously new nurse fought viciously to get the I.V in and started. I stop in front of the window of Lily's room, gritting my teeth as I see Jasper, keeping vigil over our sick daughter. I push through the door, walking slowly towards him. He looks over slowly, his eyes red rimmed, filled with surprise by my appearance. Quickly he gets up, offering me the chair.

" Jade told me you tore your staples, what happened?" Jasper asks, helping me sit down slowly.

" Not entirely sure. The doctor put me on some iron, said my level was too low," I whisper, reaching my hand through the opening of Lily's incubator, touching the silkiness of her hand.

" I have to go for a bit, take a shower. I will be back though," he says, taking my hand in his, pressing a light kiss to my hand and I feel the weight of something he leaves behind, before he turns and leaves. I open my hand, staring at the folded up papers sitting on my palm. I take a deep breath, sitting back in my chair, opening it slowly.

'_Dear Ana,_

_I know that I probably should have told you everything that I'm about to tell you in person, but the truth of the matter is that when I look at you, what I try to say never comes out right. Emmett told me, about the night that he found you in my room, crying into the sweater that I had purposely left behind. How you blamed yourself for me leaving, thinking that it was something that you were lacking. I cant tell you enough just how wrong that you are. It was never you Ana. You have been everything, and so much more, than I ever imagined having. Your beauty is astounding, your intelligence amazing, and your heart one of the purest that I have ever known. I could make excuses for why I did what I did, but the fact is that you deserve better than that. I knew from the moment that I saw you, when I yelled at you for parking in my spot, that I could fall in love with you. You looked so innocent, with your shining green eyes, staring at me apologetically. And when our fingers brushed that first time, I felt something surge through me that I thought was long gone. I put you through more hell than you ever deserved, and there is no amount of apologizing that I can do to make things right again. All I can say is that I love you Ana, and I know that right now you probably wont believe me. But I do. You and Lily are my world, and I have thought about nothing but you and her for months now. I should have gotten off that plane, no, that isn't right, I shouldn't have even boarded it in the first place. I can feel you, Ana, in everything I do. Your face constantly in my mind, your voice ringing in my ears. You have my heart Ana, and I'm asking you, please, let me have yours again, and I wont screw this up, ever again, I swear that to you. Give me the chance to be the husband and father that you and our daughter deserve. _

_Love Always,_

_Jasper.'_

I blink furiously at the tears that cloud my eyes, my heart aching. As much as I thought that I could live without Jasper, the fact is that I cant. I lean forward staring down at the miracle that Jasper and I created, and I can swear that she smiles at me. I get to my feet, knowing what I have to do.

* * *

I sit behind the wheel of my car, staring up into Jasper's window, trying to summon the courage to go in. I push out of the car, walking slowly to the front door, turning the door knob slowly. The warmth of the house catches me by surprise, and five sets of eyes land on me.

" He's upstairs," Jade says, nodding towards the stairs.

" Thanks," I say, walking silently to the steps. I take them slowly, searching my heart for what to say. I stand in front of his bedroom door, remembering the last time that I was here, my heart aching slowly from the memory. I knock quietly, not waiting for an invitation in. I open it, and slip in closing the door silently behind me. Jasper isn't in here, so I know that he is in the shower. I stand in front of his window, my arms crossed over my chest. The sound of the door opening slowly, lets me know that I'm no longer alone.

" I wanted to hate you Jasper, I think for some reason, I thought it would be easier. I couldn't though, because somehow you got a hold on my heart, and you haven't let it go," I say, tears sliding down my cheeks already, and I sigh with disgust.

" Ana," he says, and I just turn to look at him, knowing that the look on my face tells him its his turn to shut up and listen.

" I never wanted to get married Jasper, because I saw what a failure my parents marriage was. Then I met you. I fell in love with you. I gave you everything that I had to give. For a moment I honestly thought that you were going to throw that all away, and I wanted to hate you for it. I needed too. And then you wrote this," I say, lifting his letter up to show it. " In this one letter you wrote with more honesty than you have ever given me, I could feel your soul in these words, and you made me fall in love with you all over again."

" Ana," he says, stepping towards me, taking my face into his hands. I smile through the tears, lifting my face to his, finally feeling like I'm right where I belong.


	51. Chapter 51: The Journey Has Just Begun

**Author's Note: Well here it is, the epilogue. The end of Ana and Jasper's story. Again, thank you to everyone who has supported me through this journey. I love you all very much! **

**P.S Jade & Edward's Story, coming SOON!**

**Epilogue: The Journey Has Just Begun**

" _So don't be afraid to make mistakes, stumble and fall, because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you could have ever imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long, and in the end the journey is the destination."-One Tree Hill._

* * *

November 26th, 6 months later.

_I wake up slowly, the sound of Lily crying rousing me from my deep sleep. I roll out of bed, padding slowly to her nursery, caught slightly off guard by Jasper's rumpled appearance as he holds Lily close to his chest, humming softly. I lean against the doorway, smiling softly at the picture that my husband and daughter make. I giggle softly when Lily spits up all over Jasper's shoulder, and he looks over his shoulder, his eyes still blurred with sleep. _

" _Hi baby," I say, walking towards him to take Lily in my arms. " Hello beautiful girl, what are you doing awake, huh? Spitting up all over daddy, that's what." I grab the closest burp rag to wipe around her smiling mouth, while Jasper strips his shirt off. _

" _Of course, why is that she only ever throws up on me?" Jasper asks, leaning his head against my shoulder to stare down at our drifting daughter. _

" _Because she loves you so much," I say, laying her gently back down in her crib. _

" _Yeah, yeah," Jasper says, his hand laying lightly against my lower back. I lean down and brush a kiss to her soft forehead, moving aside so that Jasper can do the same. _

" _Sweet dreams, my beautiful Lily. Remember, Mommy carried you and brought you into this world, I'm going to carry you for the rest of your life," he says, and I smile as he turns and takes my hand leading me from the room. Ten minutes later, we're both laying back in bed, my head pillowed on Jasper's chest, his fingers fiddling with the ring on my left hand. _

" _I love you Ana," he whispers, his voice slurred with sleep. I smile, snuggling closer to him, his heart beat lulling me to sleep. _

" _I love you too," I say, my eyes drifting closed. _

_The truth is, I don't know, what lies ahead for Jasper, Lily, and me. What I do know, is that I love them more than anything else in this world, and our love will never die. It's been a long road, to get to where we are now, and an even longer one lays ahead of us, but the journey is just the beginning, and the journey is the best part of it all. _


End file.
